₦airaland Forum

Clemzy16: That was a funny reason why you stopped going to church. I don't go to church often either, but i think i have a better excuse. Nice story.

Depends on temprament oo,cos dat pastor na winch.,Brother u needed to see my dog...dog wey no get name and joy! It only answers once a day and if u call it morethan once u serve as meat cos hunger dey tearam well well,.lol

To be really frank i just noticed i tell stories inside stories which is not bad.but i forgot to arrive back to the main thing..
Wont happen again.



U can check my user profile...ive updated necessary things about me

soul minister: all na same for my eye. even your last update have proven me right

a story inside a story of another story

oga soul kip them coming bro.... i will perfect it before you know it..thanx still bro

Fonydear: Wait o, am the first lady of this thread dancing skelewu

Hehehehehe fony u are welcome...come to the vip stand before they start claiming you...lol
Would you like to dance skelewu with lucas??

soul minister: are you sure that you are not smoking while writing because, I do get confused while reading your work and have to start over before I get the gist.

just don't smoke while writing so that it will be organised.

™¶ I rest my case ¶™

Hahahahahahha ok sir!! I will try igbo and leave sk!! Its affecting me,thanx bro

DEDICATED TO ALL MY FRONT SEATERS..ONE LOVE....


The thing is,i have my reasons for not trusting pato (as he is fondly called)
"Patrick my guy no dey ever smile"
"Bone nko...patrick no dey bone"
His face is just like that
Ever seen the late sam loco drink a hot snap?...watch his reaction when he tries to swallow it...
Thank you! That is pato's face ...his default setting.
So how can you tell if he is smiling or angry he is just like this

Pato is a very creepy "human (woman being" (he loves women is an understatement). He only walks at night with his nokia torchlight phone,God blessed his hustle and he upgraded!!! To nokia (samsung galaxy) torchlight with memory card for music.. he believes so much his nokia tourchlight phone has the same sound quality with samsung galaxy.



................but wait oo..how could patrick be the one to discover me early in the morning.....and not people going to morning mass..i determined that was a maths i intended solving.>>>oloye! Patricks voice brought me back... arrober hope say you no dey think say na me jam you enter gutter! Patrick muttered.

. "how could pato possibly know what i was thinking...hmmmm" in a flash i remembered my bible passage "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh"....

Even though i have not been to church for six solid years......are you condeming me? Wait till you see what changed my faith.

Six years ago my dear pastor.. Rev. pastor bite mother bite pikin aka ogbannenanwa " i wonder what took me to that church in the first place" pastor ran over my rot wiler dog with his peugeot 506,and sent my dog straight to hell! If it was a better car atleast my dog could have considered pourgatry cos the dog commit no be small...e dey molest other small small dogs in my street.




My anger was after all these..my pastor couldnt raise offering for another dog for me oo... but if it was roofing the church project that has already been roofed he will do that shaperly.
instead he brought Ekuke!! A local dog!! Chai! In exchange for my hard earned rot wiler, EkukeThose kind of dogs my calabar brothers eat(no offence meant)... i heard its sweet shaa....


I cursed the pastor and left with the grief of my #80,000 rot wiler! Yes #80,000! Is the price they buy it...cos i stole my own!! From my friend lucas.

Lucas is my coursemate and a very good friend ,we call him look-Ass or look-nyash shaa,cos him too like nyash.

You know it got to a point where i became confused because all his dogs where now looking like him,a very serious case!

Has his love for nyash driven him to his dogs ***** dont think of asking me oo... if you are thinking what i am thinking then you are on your own......

<<<To Be Continued>>>

kingphilip: So wen is da nxt update

on it now....

Typing.......

okay phills i appreciate big tym bro...will do my best

@clemzy thats really encouraging bro...almost jumped outta my varanda when i saw that but i remembered i had to update and not die now.

will really be honoured when they do...

i think i will update twice a day for now..i have lots of them i wana get out..but over supply dey kill bizness nah..lol wil release in the morning and evening.... lets go there....

anyone got a diffrent opinion on the releasing? will appreciate if you voice

adegwurulez: Thank God i caught the train on time. something tells me this is going to be an interesting story. As e be say you say na me inspire you, my advice is, please dont follow my bad habit of not updating regularly, it kills the flow. i'm going to check on this thread to see how you will improve. I know for sure, the gurus of literature section; therock5555 et al will soon show up.

big ups, smoothvee

ogakpata kpata u say make u show ur boi love...u welcome bro....i hope this gets more intresting,i got my whole friends reading ur write up..my pregnant sister nearly gave birth laffin,i hope i wont let u guys down.... i get ur advice Ade

obstead200: Don't force urself. U are doing good. Just have a plan to use in gradually building Ur story. Don't try to copy adegwurulez; he has a unique style and swagger of his own. Just do Ur thing as it comes from Ur heart.
NB. I was a masters student at unizik b4 I abandoned my program due to job challenges.

giant!! thanx bro...i will try to try

m003: ok i don follow but no forget to update regularly ooo

my oga at the top of gp tank !!u are highly welcomed to the front seat...i promise i am goin to be doing this regularly..once the comments flow in.

https://www.nairaland.com/1523938/washing-setting-unizik-fine-boy

Check dis my story i just started out..show some love

Oga Ade u inspired me man
..thanx

https://www.nairaland.com/1523938/washing-setting-unizik-fine-boy

Check dis my story i just started out..show some love

Nd warri 2pac we dey wait u ooo!

Sir goodmorning..abeg no vex i said, u know what..what...what is the website of NSCDC....fear made me say what i didnt intend to and i heard kpozaaaa! Again this time it was clear to me that it was that monster slap..that son of a thousand fathers that sent me into the gutter and made me see the heavens open... and here was i thinking i was a prophet when i saw the angels playing match...

But bone oo!! Angel michael dey play die!! See as him dribble angel gabriel....mtscheew if say i dey there eh...i for don score moses tire>>> i didnt know this second slap sent me into another trance where i thought Moses was an angel..chai! E no go better for this arrober!! (Arrober is what we use for armed robbers..or guy men..una suppose know na)

I looked up at this guy and i felt sorry for him,he didnt know i am a black belt holder...from the jackie chan and jet lee movie collections i watched when i was a kid,i already declared myself a black belt holder......

I was still in my lane of thoughts when i was awakened by patricks ganja voice...patrick is my very good musician friend who is known world wide for singing inside his head and he expects you to hear it even when he is on stage....strange?? You've not met
Philip and magnus.

Back to reality>>
i opened my eyes to see patricks face and i almost fainted again..patrick resembled the guy i saw last night----- did i mention that i was at the hospital?? Okay i am at the hospital and patrick picked me from the gutter where that guy sent me to short sleep cycle before making away with my phone. Truth be told,i think its because of the model of my phone that made them hit me this hard...i used a nokia 2626 that i use toothpick to press the buttons..so i think that angered the new friend i made yesternight(the robber).

Patrick told me whats up..how he found me in the gutter and all but i couldnt thank him.......Y

<<<TO BE CONTINUED>>>

Pass me the ginger! Yea man!,pass me the lighter,
Pass me the ginger!,chai! This ganja man don burst my brain,their father! pass me the lighter!

Those words changed my life as at exactly 11:37pm, in the front of Mariam plaza,tempsite in unizik(nnamdi azikiwe university) Awka,Anambra state.

"Wondered how i got the time right?! When i tell you the situation even you will know the exact weather condition,temprature level and air moisture level"

Back to reality>> i was coming back from ifite(the permanent site to our school)..brothers and sisters all i remembered was a touch flashed at my face nd i was still about to complete my legendary song ... pass me the gin..... kpozaaaa!!! I shouted jesu!! and jumped into the gutter to take refuge, "in unizik u dodge before confirming"

Well just incase u intend visiting us take this from me as an advice, every action you take depends on the sound you hear....if u hear screeching tires...my brother run for your life!! Either its sarz! Or its sarz!!

Back to reality>> kpozaaaa!! Jesu! I screamed and dodged... "no b say i dey fear oo i just wan arrange"
I looked around to see who was shot! But all i could see was white!! angels where playing football up and down..from heaven to earth... i shooke my head and said confirm!! "Na me b dis?"!! Me washing and setting go heaven hmmm.....

Suddenly suddenly! (the music that was playing in my ears changed to dbanjs song "suddenly suddenly" i didnt know two tracks have passed already before dbanj started singing...the song "pass me the lighter" was playing on my headphone before this one.

And all of a sudden as if he heard the song.. i was still watching the angels playing football..a dark ugly figure was headed towards me for my mind i said shuu! i was like "satan y na now u go show,u wan take your fuji disturb my michael jackson abi"

my vision was now getting clearer and a huge guy asked me.. "mr gangster badman your phone!!!!! Or else!
It was just like they dropped me from heaven wey i dey watch better match down to the indian ocean....

Sir goodmorning..abeg no vex i said, u know what.......

<<<To be continued>>>...tell me what u think about my use of words nd story pattern and i promise to drive till the end..am learning. Thanx

I typed in a rush.

ive been kipin quiet for so long bro...but now u hav to upload anoda one!! more grease to ur elbow..nd make amaka no spoil ur new catch oo!

meanwhile i am a theatre arts student(unizik) u r good bro,u can sell this for a soap opera later in life