Onegai:


So, let's get some things some things straight:

Rule no.1: don't apologise if you don't mean it. YOU ARE 26 YEARS OF AGE AND A MOTHER OF 1. YOUR MATES ARE DANCING AT THE ALTAR EVERY SATURDAY AT THEIR WEDDING AND GOING TO WORK EVERY MONDAY. You have NOT finished school, you have NOT finished your Beautician course, you have NOT held a job down in your life, you could NOT even do Olosho work properly (go to Benin, girls are using ashawo work to build houses, go to VI and Ikeja, babes dey use kitten open store and are paying their parents' bills. You're here).

You need to succeed at something and start turning your "I have NOT" into "I HAVE ACHIEVED".

If you like, please listen to those petting you. I will not pet you, I am hard on you because that means I really think you can change. If I pet you and am gentle on you, that means I assume you are a lost cause and I'm just being kind to you to fulfill my daily dose of Likes and arse-kissing on NL. I owe you nothing, I have not even helped my cousins. Some of them are you, they learned how to born throway from their mothers and now they are doing the same. I could not help them, but I may think of trying with you.

It's upto you to decide what you want yo do now. Rule no.2: you have to start owning your own decisions and accepting their consequences of them.

We cool?

I have so much restrain myself not to comment on this thread ever since i started following it immediately the Op opened the thread day before yesterday but i think its time i aired my own view.

I laughed the first day i started reading this thread not because of anything but because i know people like @moji26 very well, i have been there before with my immediate younger sister, i knew how it started with her just same way like this and i know where she is presently with virtually this same semblance of character. The basic truth is people like @moji26 needs to be tell the hard truth just like as @onegai is doing ( seriously appreciate what you are doing).
To me, helping her with money is not the issue here rather what she needs is total reformatting of her brain and her way of thinking (If i can say that). From my experience, all she need is a quick fix to what is happening now, so what happened afterwards? she said she want to go into business, does she have the capacity to run a business? what happened after he get the financial help and able to feed his baby and be alright? If she abort the present pregnancy, what is the assurance that you wont open your leg to another guy that will flash you love and he will run away once you are pregnant? back to square one i guess.

Common, "who blame other people for the consequence of their actions at this age and time". @moji26, you are the architect of all what is happening to you presently and you need to take responsibility for it. stop blaming everybody around you for your predicament. Your mum is a good mum and what yoruba people call "", you seriously need to seek for her forgiveness, submit yourself to her, amend your ways with her and be a good child she want you to be. I guess you are a muslim and i know you must have read/hear what the prophet said about our mother that "Our making heaven is at the feet of our mothers". in fact when someone asked him that among our parent who should we do good to and he said "your mother", the second time he said "your mother", third time he said "your mother" and not until the fourth time he mentioned "Your father". This shows how important our mothers are in our lives.

Let me tell you a little story, i have a younger sister who acted just same way like you.despite having all the luxury of life and total support from our parent most especially my mum because we are just two, she got pregnant at early stage when she was suppose to face her studies, everybody was devastated and it was agreed at that time that the best option was to terminate the pregnancy even though my dad didn't support, me and my mum followed her to the hospital for abortion. She was given close marking and everybody was strict with her, she started keeping malice with everybody at home but six months down the line, she was pregnant again for another guy. I went to the house of the guy that put her in the family way and i was accused of being a thief and almost lynched, thank God for people that knows me in the area before my mum arrived and saved me. Mum was so furious and had to sent her away from the house to her suppose hubby house, it was all blame game anytime she is narrating her story, my parent didnt like me, they didnt cater for me, this and that.
She was sent back home after she gave birth to a boy, she claimed her in-law was maltreating her, as a mother, my mum accepted her back and started taking care of her and her baby but there was always problem about her laziness, not helping out with chores and in the shop all in the name of having a toddler she was catering for, since she decided not to continue with her education, she was put in somewhere to learn handwork but she will stop going after like 3 months (At least i was aware of four different places, it was always complain about people she met there or her boss was this and that). It got to a point she found herself in this present situation that you are, mum was not contributing anything to her again as she was fed up with who she was, she really suffered then that anytime i visit home and see her, i will always plead on her behalf with mumsy as she was nothing to write home about. At the end of it all, people wade in, beg mum on her behalf and she started supporting again like she always says[b] "omo eni o ki n buru titi ka le fekun paje" (Your child cannot be so stubborn that you will give her to a tiger as food) [/b]
Fastforward to when her baby was over one year, she was okay by now and everything seems normal back, she already forgot about the past. Suddenly mum realized she was pregnant again for her baby father. The question was how did it happen? well it happened already, the guy didnt deny the pregnancy even though his parent denied it. Mum was so furious that this time around, they had to force them to do even if it was small introduction since both of them believe they were ripe for marriage so the best thing was to let them be. (Husband was still a student and doesnt have anything same as wife to be).
To cut the long story short, she came back home again after the second baby as she couldn't cope. Mum establish her in a business, both capital and gain were nowhere to be found after like 3 months. The same mistake happened again as she got pregnant for the third time, mum had to go and drop her at her in-law place and told her never to come back to her house again nor call her number again. She meant it this time around as she never listen to plead of people on her behalf. Even though my mum was not listening to people when we were alone together at home, she always cry about the path she chose for herself and wish she could turn back the hands of time, her question was always if she didnt try enough to raise her well.
After the third child and there was no support from anybody not even the father that is not having tangible work, her brain reset and no one teaches her to brace up for the challenge ahead, the handwork she didn't want to learn before, she had to go and learn it by force going there with her two kids and at the same time looking for part time job to do.
@moji26, nobody will help you except you are ready to help yourself, you need to brace up and pick up your life from where it is now, no matter the amount of money we give you (Either for business or to settle immediate issue), they will all be over in a matter of weeks if not days. You need to stop the blame game and see your mum as your savior. (She is all you got as nothing much those of us here can do).
I will seat by the fence here while continue to see the way i can help one way or the other.

Coming back to comment

dominique:
I got the text a few days ago and I've been eagerly waiting for this current plan to finish so I can get on with the new plan. This airtel is something else. I'll jejely stick with my 5gb plan for N2,500

Please stick to the 5gb N2,500...i regret ever subscribing to this their offer. This their offer is the scam of the highest order.

I subscribed just last week and data is all gone

idupaul:


Can't you see how pathetic you sound ..I pray for your soul because you have just damned it with Ur callous brain

And who are u please? Do we have any issue here?

Subscribed.....

The text message is a cunning one because they never indicated if its for BB or Android but its a promo of BB 1+1 offer.

Its BB subscription apparently the zapping rate will be higher than normal android subscription.

On a comparative analysis with 5gig for N2500 android subscription, i believe its still a bit cheaper.

This policy has been in existence since only when God knows, FG subsidize dollar rate for the yearly pilgrimage. If i dont know any, am still very sure for last year that it was sold at N160 to $1 for 2015 pilgrimage when the official rate was N197 to $1. This was for both muslim and Christian pilgrims of 2015.

More reason why there is a ceiling to how much individuals can buy and banks are expected to make returns to CBN after sales.

We must not turn everything to politics rather what we should be clamouring for is government removing her hand from religious activities. If you want to go for your religious activities, its your problem and you should be able to fund the cost rather than using tax payers money that will be useful somewhere else for some certain religious activities that will only benefit little

KINGinVAHALA:

Good morning boss! please if its OK by you I will appreciate few minutes of your time for a chat offline.

No problem sir

banmee:


My question to you is, why are you so interested in someone else's marriage? Seems to me like your's is not very interesting so both of you enjoy the drama of others. What will you do if and when they move out. Find another leech to suck the drama off?

Thanks for your observation boss

5minsmadness:



Damages and compensation for what When she is the one that moved out of the house? When she is the one that packed things that didn't belong to her? When she put the man through emotional torture not knowing where she was?

Op is the man rich? Maybe it was a financial trap? I hope he has a good lawyer, he should countersue her st[upid as's!!

WTF!!


Also@snakie86 I'm not saying I doubt your story, but u can't sue for divorce before 6months of marriage. It's the Nigerian law. Unless there's something else we don't know?

I was surprise too

Olami90:
Op, thanks for all your effort so far to the ex couple. Thanks for sharing too, this has opened my eyes to certain things and I have learned one more time.


That singular part of a domineering spouse is a no no for me. One of the reason I never regret losing my last relationship one bit and thanking God for the relationship coming to an end. It is a red flag that most guys should not ignore.
From my experience, ladies like that always know best, never take others idea/advice and always want to have their ways.

The husband should just take it as his loss for spending that much for the wedding(on someone that doesn't worth it) to the extent of having debt to settle. He made the mistake of ignoring the reg flag probably with the mind that it is not a big deal.
The more we continue to be real and to use our head instead of allowing emotion to control us, the better we will be and the better our marriages would be.
Thank you once again. I appreciate

Sincerely, have learnt a lot myself

Am still in a shock

I had a lenghty discussion