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Sochey's Posts

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LiteratureRe: What Book Are You Reading Right Now? by sochey(f): 1:05pm On May 22, 2020
I'm still looking for this book though(The seven sisters) A friend of mine sent a PDF of the first part and it got me hooked...

The book is very good and well described. I will rate the author 10/10 Lucinda Riley smiley
LiteratureRe: What Book Are You Reading Right Now? by sochey(f): 12:45pm On May 22, 2020
Hathor5:
I put it on my list. Have you read any of her other books?
Nope, I will probably search up more of her other books once I get the chance to read other books.. Right now, I'm kinda stuck with completing my own books smiley
LiteratureRe: Petals Of Rose by sochey(op): 12:39pm On May 22, 2020
Khriztarl:
am here baby. please add the humour sochey.
lol.. I will add it in the next chapter...
Thank you for reading smiley
TravelRe: Kwara Sends Travellers Back To Niger State by sochey(f): 9:14pm On May 20, 2020
Where dem wan travel go for this kworona vilus??
LiteratureRe: What Book Are You Reading Right Now? by sochey(f): 8:58pm On May 20, 2020
Incidents in the Rue Laugier

lts an international book though but I must confess that the book is something that should be read over and over again!

10/10 for Anita Brookner(Author)
LiteratureRe: Petals Of Rose by sochey(op): 8:49pm On May 20, 2020
I didn't notice or feel emotionally while starting this story but after this last few chapters, I realised that there a so many emotions attached to it and I was struggling with words in this last chapter...

Maybe I should probably add a little bit of humour so that even if it leads to tears, it should lead to laughter as well smiley
LiteratureRe: Petals Of Rose by sochey(op): 8:44pm On May 20, 2020
SITUATIONS


Part 8

::Ink boiled, when I wrote your name..

Mother wrote another letter to me. This time, it wasn't brief and straight to the point. It was lengthy, at least words written in eight lines.

Dear Rose,

I want to talk about things, maybe before I kiss reality goodbye. I'm not supposed to say this, but I really do hope to see you soon... I've read your letters and I must confess that you are really a strong woman, just like your mother. Can you come back, Rose?
***~

I read this letter over and over again, tears dripping from my eyes. At that moment, I wanted to scream, wanted to rip my hair apart and run back to the village. But I knew I couldn't, I couldn't leave my work, I couldn't leave all that I've built over the years. So I waited, worked vehemently with a feeling of guilt and tardiness.

At some point, I felt like I was making the wrong decision, I felt like I was punishing life for its circumstances. But there was nothing much I could do.

I went home that night, feeling like Eve after the fall. I would always sigh, taking more sips of coffee than I probably should. I could tell that I was longing for someone; at least a steady partner, who wouldn't be so shy to stay with a lonely woman as I.

I momentarily wished for Okon, for his presence, for his touch but that was immediately replaced by a strange realisation that I would probably never see him in a long while.

Whatever went on in my mind's eye was evidently destined to remain opaque. But I was generally if diffusely keyed up by the prospect of going away, of seeing Mother, of seeing anyone, although I knew much too deeply that I was only being overly emotional.

It rained that night, not rhetorically, with a cloudburst that would have satisfied everyone's taste for drama, but softly, insistently, and with a northern steadiness. Playing a game of twists and turns on my bed, in an empty vast room that only bore of an appropriate apparatus for a single woman's room. I lay sleepless, with clouded mind, listening to the faint hiss of the rain which filled the night with a kind of surreptitious activity, as if it was urging on a change of season and marking off the past from the present.

My thoughts consumed me, made me numb, made me unsatisfied. I knew I should probably know a little about my parent, how they met, how they eventually got together and how a planned perfect relationship turned to that of hate and disgust.

Morning came quicker than expected. I rose out of the bed with a slight headache and an aching toe. Immediately massaging the aching area, I saunter into the bathroom.

Running a hot bath, I allowed the water to caress all parts of my body, believing to spiritually heal my aching soul. Miraculously it did, returning into the room with a feeling of hope and perspective to start another long day...
2 Likes
CelebritiesRe: Sister Afia And Freda Rhymz Nearly Fought At TV3 by sochey(f): 6:24pm On May 18, 2020
one thing's first, THEY ARE HAWT smiley
LiteratureRe: Sochey's little Rant book! by sochey(op): 12:50am On May 16, 2020
Hello Rant book,

It's been so long since I last updated you. I'm sorry about that, I'm just working on other things.

But today, id like to remind you it's my birthday once again! I finally clocked another age. I'm glad to see today, glad for everyone I've met both IRL and online.

Y'all are amazing cheesy

Happy Birthday to me once again smiley cool
LiteratureRe: Roses And Thorns by sochey(f): 11:46pm On May 15, 2020
Khriztarl:
Starberg, u know. This life na small thing, sleep, wakeup, read damselposh's post, eat, criticize, suggest, play, accept criticism, laugh, say whats on your mind, accept whats on another's mind, explore the world with ur phone, stay at home, hug mum and sleep again. No need to over stress things, no need to cause conflicts, no need to cry over solved issues. Arguing with mhizv, listening to akinwale14 that said he wants to bomb us grin , accepting damselposh and preshbeauty's Apologies should be done with love and happiness. There's no need to get fraustrated, angry, depressed or aggressive. You only live ones. Stop overhyping things. You would find out they don't even matter. Lets just order popcorn, read and be happy. cheesy cheesy cheesy
I kind of like this analysis smiley
1 Like
PoliticsRe: General Buhari And Ibrahim Gambari In 1984 (Video) by sochey(f): 6:07pm On May 12, 2020
Bubu all de wayyyy grin
LiteratureRe: Consequences: Fate Of The Known!(continues) by sochey(op): 8:55pm On May 11, 2020
Dew04:
aww... You could have reported it. The mods would have rectified it. It's really nice. I had clicked your profile just to read your stories grin
Thank you so much, I really appreciate kiss

I might ask for this book to be rectified but I will have to finish DEADLY MATRIMONY and PETALS OF ROSE cheesy
LiteratureRe: Consequences: Fate Of The Known!(continues) by sochey(op): 8:30pm On May 11, 2020
Dew04:
Sochey, goodevening!
How come you haven't updated this story? It's really nice. Not cliche cause the storyline seems original.
Good evening to you too dear,
The book was banned by Nairaland spam bot. I kind of uploaded three chapters but didn't see it so, I lost the mojo.. I might probably ask a friend of mine here to help me recover it back smiley
PoliticsRe: Interstate Lockdown: Ugwuanyi Monitors Enugu-Ebonyi Boundary (Pictures) by sochey(f): 6:54am On May 11, 2020
Make him come Abakpa and monitor na..

This people no dey hear lock down.. Them go still open regardless.. Ndia Abakpa Ntike smiley)
LiteratureRe: Best Stories In Nairaland by sochey(f): 12:21am On May 11, 2020
Am I free to nominate my books?
if yes, then I'd say you read TILL DEATH DO US PART by Sochey (Which is me smiley)
You can check out my profile. I assure you, the book is boom!!
LiteratureRe: Devil In Red (story) by sochey(f): 12:15am On May 11, 2020
This is like my first time coming across high school romance and stuffs on nairaland.

I thought Nl was more like traditional stories that has to be specifically Nigerian centred..

Anyways, big thumps up. sounds catchy but please can you avoid leaving too much space when you want to start another paragraph? it made it look like i was jumping through the lines smiley
LiteratureRe: Comedy And Riddles Time by sochey(f): 12:06am On May 11, 2020
Kolymuiz:
1. I dreamt i was forced 2 swallow a giant marshallow, when i woke up, my pillow was gone, please, i am still looking for my pillow.

2. An old woman always bring a bus driver peanut.
first, the bus driver enjoyed but after a while it got too much for him so one day he asked
please do not bring peanut for me anymore, can't you have them for yourself.
the woman replied
you know am old, i don't have teeths anymore i just prefer to leek the chocolate before giving it to you.
WHAT?!!!
Ewwwwww.. lol
LiteratureRe: Petals Of Rose by sochey(op): 8:46pm On May 10, 2020
Dew04:
Hi Sochey,
I just read this story and i think it's really nice... You're a poet also? You work has that poetic feel to it... Plus you're very descriptive.
Maybe i'll upload a story of mine... Despite the fact that this is a faceless forum, i'm extremely shy.
Thank you so much. I'm not into poetry that much but I'm trying.. I thought using poetic description would give the story a better feeling.

And, do upload your work, I'd be glad to read it smiley
1 Like 1 Share
LiteratureRe: Start Voting For 'Nairaland Top Writers' For 2020 ***CLOSED*** by sochey(f): 8:16pm On May 10, 2020
Dew04:
smiley
A little. I'm working on myself!
Wow.. I'd like to read your works... I write too, you can check it out wink
LiteratureRe: Keep Holding On! by sochey(f): 6:35pm On May 10, 2020
Debbyboboye:
Running here and there,
Just to keep on,
Being on track is the goal,
Struggling for space in there.
Yet, the world moves on
The storm rages more
The wind blewth high

And everyone, looking for a safe haven
Yet none in sight.

Breeze threadth on
But daily as it grows
Only few will remain
Not fainting, though panting
Road dreary, yet not weary.

To the courageous,
Keep holding on,
Though the world not giving a chance,

Keep holding on,

Till a big smile ends it all,
A story to share
A smile to spare.
For conqueror you shall be
For a crown you deserve.
��

Beloved, the world is filled with a lot of struggles, troubles and disappointments but the word from God to you is to keep holding on for there is hope.
You will smile after all and share your story to all if you don't give up.

In all situation, remember you are not alone for you have God there by your side. And since you have God with you, then I can say you've got no reason to fear but in all, keep holding on!

Deuteronomy 31:8 says, "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the LORD will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you.” (NLT).

Place your hands in His and let Him lead the way�

He is waiting...

Shalom!



SOURCE: https://brookoflove.com/2020/05/10/keep-holding-on/

CC: Lalasticlala, Olajihidey22, ASHSALT, trophygracie, Botapreneur, Beccawumi, PeculiarInspiro, Faithfulwrites2, Fayodamilola, ShalomA, treasuretaiwo, nueltosin, Ruthina, TemidayoRiches, Clemency24
Awww.. I should be mentioned too.. I'm a lover of good write ups and I write too smiley

This is beautiful, thanks!
1 Like
LiteratureRe: Start Voting For 'Nairaland Top Writers' For 2020 ***CLOSED*** by sochey(f): 6:32pm On May 10, 2020
Dew04:
This is nice. Maybe i'll be nominated next year.
Do you write? :"wink lol
LiteratureRe: Start Voting For 'Nairaland Top Writers' For 2020 ***CLOSED*** by sochey(f): 6:32pm On May 10, 2020
is it still onhuh
LiteratureRe: Petals Of Rose by sochey(op): 6:26pm On May 10, 2020
Love life

Part 7

::Beauty is he who loves with all the heart, not withstanding the circumstance.

Okon was the ideal definition of perfection. He was every girls dream, including mine.

Most often times, I'd visualise him as one of those characters I've read in a romance novel. He was tall, with a slightly drawn jaw which looks perfect on him and a brown eyes.

I wouldn't say he had a perfect body, I'm not that type of girl but I'd say he had intelligence, brewing up his brains and magnificently acting just the way he is.

When he talks, he drew attention. When smiles, he takes the air off your lungs.

I met Okon in one of the meetings I attended as an upcoming entrepreneur. I was ready to leave my boss and start off on my own.

Okon happens to be one of the Coordinators who was good at his job. Eventually, we got along, I was happy to finally find someone who could understand me.

We started a relationship at the first week of my leave to establish my own business.

He could have came with flowers and a card, with an inscription of how beautiful he thought I was. But he came with chocolates and an invitation to have dinner with him that night.

I agreed to the dinner, silently expecting to be swept off my feet by this prince charming. I listened to every tik tok of the clock in my office, mentally calculating the type of dress to wear once I get home.

Getting home, I settled for a red body hug dress, which revealed all the curves I didn't know I had. I sat at the parlour, holding a glass of wine, sipping it's contents noiselessly and patiently waiting for an uber that I had called.

Apparently, the uber came through, knocking at my door and indicating that it was time to kick-start the long night.

I walked down my pavement, clutching my little purse and trying not to trip on my heels.

The uber driver stopped at the exact restaurant and I walked out the vehicle, paying him off. Telling him I would probably call him to take me home if things didn't go well.

I had read about how the supposed lover would take the woman home for the night after a wonderful evening but just in case the evening goes south, the woman would have to get home by herself.

I walked into the lush restaurant, all eyes trailing my every move. I felt a rumble in my stomach and I clutched my purse tightly against my abdomen.

My eyes finally caught Okon, sitting at the far end of the room in all his magnificent three piece suit. He looked good as usual, his eyes focused on his phone in his hands.

I came around the table, plastering a smile on my face and trying not to trip over due to anxiety or excitement.

He lifts his eyes off his phone and settles those brown orbs on me. He let his eyes roam shamelessly and gave a slight nod with smiles.

I pulled out a chair and sat down, trying to remain calm. My heart was beating very fast against my chest. This was my first time doing this and didn't know how to react.

Okon didn't say anything for about few minutes after I had taken my seat. He kept mute, watching me, taking in every single attire I put on.

‘You look lovely, red suits you’ I had heard him say. I smiled shyly, feeling butterflies in my stomach.

‘Thank you’ I muttered, taking my eyes off from him and looking at anything but him.

The waiter finally came around with the menu. We picked our meals and the waiter hurried off to get the orders.

We stay in an uncomfortable silence, each lost in thoughts. He was supposed to say something but instead, he chose not to. I didn't know how to start a conversation, I've not particularly being good at starting conversations so I stay muted, biting on my lower lip.

The waiter finally returned with our orders. We ate in silence. I was grateful for the jollof rice with chicken and crisps of plantain. I ate it like a modest woman whom I've turned into.

We finally finished our meal and that's when the conversation started. He began..

‘How long I've you been in this city?’

‘Five years’

‘Hmm.. You look really beautiful tonight. I love the dress’

‘Me too and thanks. You are not looking bad yourself’

‘What made you choose beauty collections?’

‘Books!’

‘Huh?’

‘I've read books of how most women are underrated. They say they feel ugly and unwanted. They couldn't come out of their shell. Beauty collections is an opportunity for every woman to gather all that she had lost. Not only facials, but all around.’

‘So you are saying its not just beauty products but also a therapy centre?’

‘Yes, something like that. A place you can let it all out, without feeling ashamed!’

‘Sounds wonderful... What made you do that? Something must have triggered your interest!’

‘Because of how I grew up’

‘Tell me more about it?’

‘Maybe some other time’

We stare at each other in a comforting silence. I wanted to ask him questions, ask him a lot of things but didn't know how to start.

‘Why did you choose to help young entrepreneurs?’ I had began.

‘Because I know how hard it is to start off something on your own’

‘True.. Any other work apart from that?’

‘Yeah, I manage my father's group of companies. We sell parts, mechanical parts of vehicles’

‘Wow, that's big!’

‘True.. Big but tiring’

‘I've you been in a relationship before?’

‘Yes.. Few of them that didn't turn out well’

‘Why?’

‘Let's just say I'm looking for my own woman!’

‘Hmm.. Seems like you're still searching’

‘Maybe..’

‘Why maybe?’

‘Seems like my search will be over after tonight!’

We stare at each other again, with smiles etched at the corner of our lips. He's eyes were telling more than he could say and I tried to keep any emotions from revealing in my eyes.

‘I want to see you again, everyday even. Will it be possible? Maybe I can help you to build that company the way it supposed to be!’

‘Yes...’ I say breathlessly. He stood up from his seat, came over to me. Picking up my hand from were it laid on the table, he placed a peck on it, gently dragging me on my feet.

‘Come, I'm taking you home. It's late and you have a long day ahead of you tomorrow. There's so much to be done!’

I wilfully stood on my two legs and let myself be dragged out of the restaurant by him.

The drive was silent. We talked more, he asked questions of how I want the building to be and promised to help me set it right.

I had saved up enough money for the project but he promised to pay more than I should.

He dropped me off at my apartment, looking straight into my eyes, he had said...

‘I will see you tomorrow, Rose’

‘I will see you tomorrow too, Okon!’

Wishing me a goodnight with a kiss on the cheek, he drove off.

I stood outside, watching his car until it disappeared into the night.

I went to the house, with hope for a beautiful tomorrow...
LiteratureRe: Petals Of Rose by sochey(op): 10:44pm On May 07, 2020
Part 6

::Negligence, an act of backwardness.


Months
passed like an obscure broken glass, stabbed into the arm of a thief. It went slowly like a snail, refusing to go fast. I experienced repeated nights of rape and malnourishment.  Sorrow was my drug, agony my supplement.

On several occasions, I thought of writing to mother, to tell her of the recent happenings in my life. To inform her that I wouldn't give up no matter what. But each time I put a pen on paper to write, I could see that my sentences where that kg hatred and blame.

Dear mother,
How have you been? You must be good now, happy even. This is all you have always wanted, for everyone to leave you alone. I hope you are enjoying your isolation? Anyways, I just want to tell you that I'm not good, I've never been good ever since I came into this big city.

I have been hopeless and fed less. Now, I'm grateful for the yam/potato porridge we always had for dinner. I only feed from passers by who are kind enough to give a dying girl. I also have lost my virginity due to constant rape by those evil men who I can't remember their faces.

I'm sorry I didn't turn to be what you wanted, but at least, I'm going through a process and dealing with the decisions I made few months back without your knowledge.

I don't hate you mother, at least I try not to. Even though I knew you were the course of father's death. He was a good man, he deserved more.

You should be good by now, mother. This is all you have always wanted. Hows Mma Amina, your gossip partner? I'm guessing by now you have placed her in the gloom, ignoring her and her entire family.

I don't have much to say but I must assure you, I will pass through this, Mother. I will become that great woman you have always wanted me to be; though not the way you had planned it.

Your daughter,
Rose.

After writing it, I would fold it into four places, placed it in a DIY envelope and walk to the postal services. For some reason, I was allowed to post without being fined.

Mother would write back after few weeks. How she got to do that, I don't know and how I got the letter, I don't exactly know.

All I know is that a postal man will come to where I sat on a bench next to Mma ike kiosk. He would hand the letter to me, which is folded in neat four folds and say...

‘She made sure I delivered it to you!’

The contents of the letter didn't exactly surprise me, in fact, I expected such boldness from a woman I had grown to call Mother. She was straight with her words, not revealing much like she had always done.

Dear Rose,

You will forever remain a disappointment, just like your father.
Take care...

Your mother,
Nkechi.

I would look at the long paper in my hand, which only bore few sentences written on two lines.

My hands will start shaking, my feet will become limb and I will just bow my head, trying to hide the pain.

I knew I didn't want to turn out to be like mother, that was why I had to start looking for a job.

Eventually, I found one, around the busy street when I was just parading the whole city without any aim.

‘Are you sure you can do this job?’ My employer had interviewed me on my first day.

‘Yes..’ I would reply coldly.

‘Where did you stop at school. Did you finish?’

‘No! I only had the privilege to finish junior class’

‘How did you know how to read and write and even speak’

‘Books. It were a part of my life, my teenage years’

I got the job, which for my first month was demanding. I had to put on better clothes and for some reasons, my employer was exceptionally kind towards me by buying me a wardrobe full of clothes...

LiteratureRe: Petals Of Rose by sochey(op): 11:47pm On May 06, 2020
Khriztarl:
Wow nice one.
Thanks dearie smiley
1 Like
LiteratureRe: Petals Of Rose by sochey(op): 11:15pm On May 06, 2020
Tbc..... :"wink
LiteratureRe: Petals Of Rose by sochey(op):
City


Part 5

::Words are most often times, thoughts that didn't come from the heart.

Paul
introduced me to his friends while in the big city. We found a place to lay our heads. I was exhausted from the long journey, immediately going to bed without thinking of bathing out the dust on my body.

The next day I awoke with a banging headache and a bloodshot eyes. I lifted myself from the bed, stretch my frame and headed to a provided bathroom attached to the room where I had passed the night.

I did my business, going out of the room to see if I could find anything to eat. When I got to the sitting room, Paul and some other man I didn't know where deep in conversation. When they saw me, they immediately shut their mouth and looked up at me.

‘I'm hungry..’ I announced, not bothering to greet the men. Paul looked at me and smiled.

‘I'm guessing you had a wonderful night?’ He asked as he stood from his seat and dragged me out of the room into the kitchen

‘I don't know if they thought you how to greet in your village but here, you have to greet people especially the person that was kind to give you a place to pass the night!’ He says as he tightens his grip on my arm. I wince a little and he let's go.

Breakfast was bread and a watery substance which they called ‘tea’. I didn't like tea so I just had bread which I was sure was going go hold me till anytime I get to eat lunch.

After breakfast, Paul announced that we wouldn't be staying here for long and I need to prepare myself to go into the real world. He talked about finding a job with steady income. I was surprised at that, I never thought I was going to do any strenuous activity. I was never trained to stress, mother never allowed me to do anything except cooking.

She did the fetching of water and firewood while I just cooked. Food that doesn't last more than twenty minutes.

Paul introduced me to his friends as his girl friend and made them call me one. He started making sexual advances towards me. Most times he would come into my room at night and try to seduce me. I would push him away and leave the room for him.

This continued for about a month until I decided I couldn't take it anymore.

‘Why do you think I brought you here in the first place? Of course to make you mine, Rose!’ He once told me. I wept that day, feeling ashamed, vulnerable and broken.

Perhaps, mother was right when she said people will break me and make me miserable.

I left the house without either Paul or his friend's knowledge on a rainy Sunday night....

LiteratureRe: Petals Of Rose by sochey(op):
Hope


Part 4

::He died with his heart filled with regrets...

Father
died on a bright sunny day. A day which I had planned of a rendezvous with a male counterpart in the village.

I turned twenty few weeks ago. At that time, I had already known all parts of the village, I had gotten acquainted with people of my age both male and female.

I was always out and about, trying to figure why things worked the way they did. I was grateful that I was slowly coming out of my shell, slowly drifting from the depressed state mother had gotten me into. I became free, alive; or so I thought.

Fathers death came as a shock to the entire family. He died with so much pain in his heart. He died disappointed, never there to take care of his only daughter.

I couldn't tell if mother was happy now. I thought that's what she wanted, I thought she wanted him forever gone.

But I guess she never wanted to loose him that way. I guess she wanted him back, wanted a happy family but her pride has brought her ever lasting sadness.

After father's death, Mother became more depressed, more alone. Never going to see Mma Amina who had became her best friend. She would always lock herself up in her room, maybe afraid to face the real world. She had refused to eat for days on repeat. The last time I saw her, I couldn't believe she was my mother.

She looked old and thin with sunken cheeks and hollow eyes. She looked like a walking corpse, like she was going to join my father soon.

Sometimes, she would stand at my door frame, still, trying to say something to me but no words came out of her dried lips. She would start crying, using her palm to muffle the sound. She would leave immediately, locked away in her room, again.

I became terrified of all these. I didn't know how to approach her, how to make her speak what she wanted. I became scared of her, always trying to run away from her.

Father died a good man; at least, I'm sure of that. He wanted happiness but never found it. I was broken about his death but for some reasons, it didn't entirely break me. Maybe because I hardly knew what he truly was.

Shakira and I had a fight few months before my 20th birthday. She knew she was wrong but couldn't admit it. I wasn't one to be told differently, so I had to cut the game. Few weeks later, I heard she had eloped with her said lover.

For a month, I was devastated, alone and confused. I didn't know what to do at that point,i didn't know the road to follow at that stage. Maybe that was why I had to fall for Paul's trick when he promised to take me away from the village.

I never loved Paul. In fact, I never hated him. I only adore him because of his free flow of words. He was swift with words and can easily manipulate ones mind.

I was jealous of him, jealous of how much he said while I said little. I wanted to be with someone like that, needed to be with someone like that. So, I had to go with him when he talked about going into the big city to pursue life.

I didn't mention a thing to my mother. I didn't tell her of my escapades. I couldn't tell her, I didn't want her to change my mind.

I resolved to not telling her a single thing until I left the village at night with a nylon of fresh clean two long skirts and two shirts.  As soon as I was able to write, I wrote a letter to mother, telling her of my little secret. Whether the letter reached her or not, I didn't know.

All I know was that I wrote something, explained why I acted that way and promised to come back for her....

LiteratureRe: Petals Of Rose by sochey(op):
Exposure

Part 3

::There are true lights that shines out in darkness, the light of the night...

Shakira
had always talked about eloping every time that I found time to be with her. To her, she was tired of the village, she wanted to go out, to see the world, to meet with real people.

She had always talked about someone, a man precisely, whom she said would help her escape. She had talked about how kind he was and how he had houses in the big city. Shakira was a fearless girl, she trusts easily and does according to what her heart tells her.

She persuades me to go with her, into the city, to see more life and live according to how I've always wanted. I would get worried about all these, I would get confused and kept telling her I would think about it.

‘If you're ready for go, just tell me’ I would say to her. We would seat and talk about other things until when I see mother, coming out from Mma Amina's house. I would take off immediately, bade her farewell and run back to the house.

Mother would come back, pretend like she didn't see me and go into her room. After waiting for her to come out which she didn't, I would go into the kitchen to prepare dinner.

I would eat dinner in silence, occupied with my own thoughts. The thought of eloping with Shakira and her said lover will creep into my mind and I would try to place light on it. Maybe there's something to live for after all, maybe there's life on the other side like Shakira had said.

Half way through my already cold potato porridge which had become our everyday meal, mother would come into the dinning with a growl on her face. She would sit on one of the seats, staring right at me.

‘I know you think I'm a bad person..’ She began. I look up from the plate in front of me, into her eyes, trying to read her like a book. She appeared emotionless, with her eyes not revealing a single thing.

I keep quite, not knowing how to reply, or what to say to that statement.

‘I'm sorry you didn't have the kind of life you wanted’  She continues.

‘I just want to be allowed to go out. I'm a young adult, I can take care of myself!’ I heard myself say. She looked up at me, probably never expecting a reply. She coughs lightly, as if trying to ease the tensed atmosphere.

‘Yes, maybe you should be out often..’ She says, for the first time in my eighteen years of living, agreeing with me.

‘While you are out, I wouldn't want you to meet the wrong persons. I wont be there to guide you, just be careful’ She says, not looking at me. I wanted to laugh, to smile even but I couldn't. I kept a straight face, pretending to love potatoes more than life.

She stands from the seat and went into the kitchen. Before she could come out, I was gone, carrying my empty plate into my room.

She would sigh when she meets an empty dining room, place her food on the table, sit down and eat in silence.

In my room, I would try to understand why she acted that way. Why she apologised. Mother never apologised, she never admitted she was wrong.

I was glad she let me free, even though she made it clear to me the next day that I wouldn't stay outside more than five hours in a day.

To me, five hours was much. I was free to see Shakira, she was happy when I announced to her about mother's change of heart. She leapt with joy, dragging me into the village square where we danced and shake our waists to the rhythm of the music.

We had fun, she made sure of it. We bought roasted fish from one of the village popular fish roaster. We ate it like our lives depended on it.

We went to the stream to fetch water, for the first time in a long while, I saw our village stream and was happy for nature.

I had to fetch water for mother. Shakira and I took turns and counted seconds when we will return to the stream with an empty bucket.

I felt alive, fulfilled and for the first time, not thinking of prince charming in a neverland book.

I noticed that on my way home, I got compliments from people, especially the male counterparts. The would look at my face, my bosom and finally to my hips. I would get shy and walk away in fast motion.

I talked to Shakira about it, she squealed and congratulated me for been a full grown woman. I couldn't understand what she meant by that but with the help of the books I've read, I was able to differentiate between a prying man and one who has no evil lurking in his thoughts.

The day finally buckled up with dancing with the village teenage girls around an open fire. They would sing and dance around, each happy and sound.

They would sing songs that I didn't know about but with time, I was able to catch the lyrics.

I will finally retire to bed, with hope of starting a new day....

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