Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,158,839 members, 7,838,019 topics. Date: Thursday, 23 May 2024 at 02:06 PM

Spontaneous007's Posts

Nairaland Forum / Spontaneous007's Profile / Spontaneous007's Posts

(1) (2) (3) (of 3 pages)

Celebrities / Re: Blackface Sues 2face Over Song Theft by Spontaneous007: 2:14pm On Nov 19, 2019
like for 2face
share for Black face

21 Likes 63 Shares

Family / Re: Share Your Coming Of Age Stories by Spontaneous007: 10:00pm On Nov 17, 2019
The day i paid NEPA bill, LAWMA bill and still bought food stuff in the house. my mum started serving food for me in two plates

82 Likes 2 Shares

Celebrities / Re: Ned Nwoko & Laila Charani, His Moroccan Wife Take A Ride by Spontaneous007: 9:58pm On Nov 17, 2019
like for regina
share for vagina

11 Likes 311 Shares

Pets / Re: Indian Keeps Lion At Lagos Residential Building (Photos) by Spontaneous007: 9:56pm On Nov 17, 2019
like for lion
share for ekuke(bingo/

5 Likes 14 Shares

Politics / Re: Buhari On His Way Back To Nigeria From London by Spontaneous007: 6:59pm On Nov 15, 2019
like for London
share for daura

5 Likes 4 Shares

Crime / Re: Two Brothers Arrested For Using EFCC’s Name To Extort Yahoo Boys by Spontaneous007: 6:59pm On Nov 15, 2019
like for EFCC
share for SARS

7 Likes 3 Shares

Crime / Re: Stepmother And Herbalist Burn Teenage Boy’s Hand, Over Claims He Is A Wizard by Spontaneous007: 4:01pm On Nov 15, 2019
Which thunder do they want?

like for thunder from Liberia

share for thunder from Afghanistan

1 Like 13 Shares

Celebrities / Re: Teddy A And Bambam’s White Wedding In Dubai Holds Tomorrow by Spontaneous007: 3:52pm On Nov 15, 2019
d
Politics / Re: Atiku’s Lawyers Boycott Supreme Court by Spontaneous007: 3:07pm On Nov 15, 2019
Like for Atiku
Share for Buhari

18 Likes 7 Shares

Business / Re: Savannah Petroleum Acquires Seven Energy International Limited by Spontaneous007: 3:02pm On Nov 15, 2019
like this comment if you prefer being an ordinary citizen in UK

share this comment if you prefer being a rich guy in naija

14 Likes 67 Shares

Celebrities / Re: Bovi Shades Pastor Biodun Fatoyinbo: “That Your Penis Will Rise Again” by Spontaneous007: 2:43pm On Nov 15, 2019
like for bukola dakolo
share for coza

Wow.. the battle is a hard one.. who's gonna win?

MODIFIED
The man of God wins!

251 Likes 364 Shares

Politics / Re: Kogi Guber: Court adjourns suit challenging Bello’s eligibility by Spontaneous007: 2:34pm On Nov 15, 2019
like for yahya Bello
share for Musa wada

2 Likes 4 Shares

Sports / Re: Cristiano Ronaldo Mobbed By Pitch Invader Fans After 55th Career Hat-trick(Phot by Spontaneous007: 9:50am On Nov 15, 2019
like for Ronaldo share for Messi


MODIFIED

verdicts: Ronaldo wins!!

96 Likes 16 Shares

Celebrities / Re: Laura Ikeji: “I Have Never Bleached My Skin In My Life” by Spontaneous007: 1:50pm On Nov 04, 2019
this is escalating into an uncharted propaganda in a cosmos poho poho
Celebrities / Re: Emeka Rollas Re-elected As Actors Guild Of Nigeria President by Spontaneous007: 1:13pm On Nov 01, 2019
This is Insalubrious and Sardonic.
it seems Objurgates to vote a man with Mephistophelean and ferocious attitude

1 Like

Literature / Re: Tribulations Of The Campus Boy by Spontaneous007: 12:31pm On Nov 01, 2019
Yes! I shouted while jumping up for joy.
One would have thought I had won a jackpot worth millions of Naira.
Last stage don clear. The deal is done. I go use vex tear this girl hymen (that's if she's a virgin sef). I quickly score myself A in 'psyching babesology'. even after the F's in my school courses studying psychology. School NA Scam! I shouted.

That night I couldn't sleep. I had different dreams, seeing myself and Cynthia in different occasions. I had watched about 70 videos on xvideos that night to learn new styles. My soldier was active all night. He too had suffered a lot. 'calm down soldier, the war starts tomorrow not today' I said, patting it gently.

'....jo soapy, kirikiri jo soapy. jo soapy tobaniyawo nle jo soapy....'
My tecno f9 � rang, blasting out Naira Marley's hit single.
Slowly I opened my eyes, I tried to pick the call but I couldn't pick it on time. I saw 21 missed call on my phone. All from Cynthia.
Chai! It's morning already. I couldn't remember how I slept off without being able to sleep initially.
I called Cynthia back and she told me she was already five blocks close to my lodge.
Omo, come and see Swifty. I didn't believe I had so much speed in me all these years. In 5 minutes I arranged my room, took a quick shower and wore a nice top and a short that was tight enough to reveal my soldier's length.
I checked my fridge and found two bottle of Pepsi and a large nylon of cookie. Thank God this idiot never chop am. I said.
Tayo was fond of eating my food without my consent. There was a time he ate a full watermelon belonging to me and left the seed and the back for me to eat. �. I couldn't cry.
Then I drank a cup of the herbal mixture I had bought a long time ago without using it. After few seconds, my soldier started rising up for war. I smiled and said to myself 'today na today'.
Then my phone rang. I didn't look at the screen because I know it would be Cynthia.
*Hello Yomi

**Hello Cynthia dear. Where are you now?

* Yomi, I'm sorry I had to go back. My mum called. She came to school to take me home for the holiday. I'm sorry. I promise to see you next semester. Bye dear. Take care.
She hung the call.

Jessssssssssusssss!
Why hath thou forsaken me? . I cried.
This must be a joke.
I couldn't believe my ears.
I cried bitterly.
I also fell sick Sha.
Since then I saved her name as cynthiAmaka

I'm still in sifia pain right now.
My soldier has refused to step down. He wants to fight war by fire by force.
Literature / Re: Tribulations Of The Campus Boy by Spontaneous007: 12:28pm On Nov 01, 2019
What will I do now? I thought aloud.
'Make I borrow credit jare'. I tried to borrow credit but I wasn't eligible to borrow credit. Infact I was still owing Airtel 50 Naira. So I went outside my lodge to buy CREDIT ON CREDIT ��.. Chai! Suffering no good o. Before Iya tawa give me credit sef, I know wetin my ear hear and wetin my eye see. But I had to take the insult just to call my crush - Cynthia.

I loaded the #100 Naira card and I saw #50.05 on my account balance. I no fit cry. Airtel no dey waste time.
So I dialed Cynthia's number again to confirm our last conversation.

*Hello Yomi..

**Hello Cynthia

*Yes, is there any problem? You called me some few minutes ago.

**No o. Problem ke? The problem that will come to you should come toe instead. There's no problem o.

*LoL, you're a funny guy!

** Yeah, I know. That's why I'm always here for you to make you happy. I just called to confirm if you agreed on coming to my lodge tomorrow.

* Han Han Yomi, I said I'll come now. Or shouldn't I come again?

** Ehn?? Am I mad? Wy will I tell you not to come again? Any man that says you shouldn't come to his place should be stoned to death!

* Hahahaha, Yomi! You're funny o. It's not up to that na. Well, I need to go now! See you tomorrow.

** Bye dear. See you!
Literature / Re: Tribulations Of The Campus Boy by Spontaneous007: 12:20pm On Nov 01, 2019
'... ok! I will be coming tomorrow' Cynthia said.

'Ehn?? You say what?? You'll be doing what?? hello! he..ll..oo.. he..
Chai! she don cut the call Sha!' I said, staring at my amputated Nokia tonosobe (torch light).

This must be a dream,
I couldn't believe what I just heard.
I was confused and also happy simultaneously.
Cynthia of all the girls on campus, agreed to come to my lodge tomorrow??
Hmmm my village people are trying to play pranks with me. I thought.
Or maybe they auto tuned her voice to sound like what I just heard.

I wasn't really sure I heard what she said right. 'Chai! see my life. And doctor talk say make I dey use this ear drop o. I for hear wetin she talk well'.
I decided to call her back to confirm what she had said.
After some seconds of dialing Cynthia's number. A sweet voice sonorously spoke to me;

'Your account is too low for the destination you're trying to call, plea...'

Mtchewww! I didn't even allow her finish her statement before I cut the call. 'Your voice just sweet, you no get sense! Foolish customer care attendant' I cursed angrily!

But she's just doing her job though.
Na myself I suppose swear for. Me and brokenness don become best friend. Na Airtel #100 naira I dey always recharge every week.
Infact I got broke to an extent my roommates named me 'stock brocker', 'Brooklyn' amongst many other derogatory names.
Literature / Tribulations Of The Campus Boy by Spontaneous007: 12:17pm On Nov 01, 2019
Hello people!!
I'm Yomi Spontaneous.
I'd be writing on the above stated title to improve in my writing skills. I hope you all enjoy it. Please correct me with sense if you no want make sango olukoso fire your black yansh.

Grab a sit,
A partner,
And your popcorn!!!

Copyright.
Yomi Spontaneous
Romance / Re: Bride Looks Sad At Her Wedding, Video Goes Viral by Spontaneous007: 2:24pm On Oct 29, 2019
DaddyMorenike:
of Course! The spontaneous frowning is magnanimous in it's totality, therefore causing eye brows to be heightened beyond elasticity.

Yea... Correct!
A retroviral medication for malicious Gross
Crime / Re: Abuja Massacre: Shaheed Farouq Ahmad, 300 Level Student Of UNIMAID Killed by Spontaneous007: 2:22pm On Oct 29, 2019
H
Crime / Re: Meet Dr. Hassan Yusuf At 'Islamic Rehabilitation Centre' by Spontaneous007: 2:07pm On Oct 29, 2019
This is disregarding and cantarburous.
The isotope of injecting nuisance is not a good mimicry

2 Likes 2 Shares

Sports / Re: Ronaldo Reveals His Best Goal Out Of His 701 Career Goals by Spontaneous007: 2:02pm On Oct 29, 2019
He should reciprocate his porcelain in a dungeon and pith the wood in his courtyard. His level of nosioux nozzle is alarming

1 Like

Crime / Re: Amuwo Odofin Task Force Arrests Manhole Cover Thieves by Spontaneous007: 2:00pm On Oct 29, 2019
The level of deliquesce in this legion of introverted entity is nothing but a piece of clustered regency
Romance / Re: Bride Looks Sad At Her Wedding, Video Goes Viral by Spontaneous007: 1:56pm On Oct 29, 2019
This is Canterbury in Mecca!
The act is an uncharted propaganda to discern the husband's obligation!
She should have a retrobulbar installation in her version of privacy

3 Likes

(1) (2) (3) (of 3 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 25
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.