₦airaland Forum

newyorks:
to me i treat bea based on how she presents her self.

like one bea i took to crunches at aka road uyo,i asked her what she would take cos me as a regular there my favourite na poridge plantain with the likes of fish.babe say anything u take i will also take i ordered for two.

fastfowarded. it happened that she's nt used to it to cuppled with pepper and so she couldn't eat the food,just to clear my consiense i have to other for fried rice though she ate it bt she was shy this time and i used that opportunity to win her easily cos she fall her hands.

lol, there's nothing wrong with being a little shy. It doesn't especially help, if you're out with someone you are irresistibly attracted to.

klassykute:
arrange dis tin nahh bush girl giv m space

omg, lwkmd, you actually called me a Bush girl and it's so funny I'm almost forgetting to get offended. But will do just what you suggested.

stancod:
do u reside in ikorodu

lol. I'm not even in Lagos.

Recently (4 days back to be precise), I went to see someone and the whole thing was sham. Really a waste of my time. It wasn't a date per se but it made me think of all the dates I've been in and I ended up compiling this list, so yes, everything in it is first hand experience, some done by me and the others committed by the guys I went out with.

1. Don't get so drunk you throw up all over the place including their car seat and the night ends with them taking you to their house because they don't even know where you address. Seriously, don't.

2. Don't show up dressed like you are just getting out of bed. I know it's not Christmas but please, try your best to look nice and presentable.

3. Don't go introducing them as your girlfriend/boyfriend. It's annoying. I barely know who you are, it's just a date, it's not flattering when you call me your girlfriend.

4. Don't get all hands on. And by hands on, I mean, don't try to touch my legs under the table or brush your shoulders against my boobs. I'll land it dirty on your face or straight out bite you.

5. Being rude to the waiter/waitress ain't cool. Nothing says problem than someone with rude manners.

6. Don't diss their outfit. Someone did this to me - kept repeating over and over again that I was putting on a choir uniform. It was just not funny then even though I'd laugh about it now.

7. Or their profession- so what if they are a low earning sales person, what's so funny about that?

8. Don't tell them your serious issues. It's just a first date, I'm more interested in knowing your favorite color and food. Not how you've been struggling with depression or financial problems.

9. Don't go through their phone and sneakingly read their texts. Why do people even do this?

10. Don't go through their phone and see a photo of their hot friend and then unashamedly go ahead and ask for that friend's number. This has happened to me twice so I'm a living proof that it's a real thing.

11. Don't offer them a photo album filled with photos of your numerous exes.

12. Don't blurt out "I like to Bleep"!

13. Don't ask" do you like to Bleep"?

14. Don't talk so much about your bestie (that is a member of the opposite sex)

15. Don't start comparing them to anyone (especially that your bestie) or worse still, an ex

16. Don't fake an accent. Don't try to be yoruba when you ain't. If na pidgin you sabi speak, stick to pidgin.

17. Don't stuff yourself with overfeeding that you end up spending majority of the time in the toilet, then you come out and start complaining about pepper in your yansh.

18. Don't stare open mouthed at the good looking/hot dude/girl at the nearby table and comment about their nice physique or sexy ass.

19. Don't say anything like "I hate Igbo guys" or "you are an Ijaw girl? I heard Ijaw girls are good in bed"

20. Please smile. You were not tied like a goat and dragged to the date at gun point.

21. It's okay to state what you want. Just be mature about it. Are you looking for something long term or just a short term non committed fling or whatever it is?

22. So be yourself and be honest. If you don't like cooking, don't claim cooking is your favorite hobby. If you hardly care about going to church, don't claim you are a dedicated member and even in the choir. If you can't step out of your house without your makeup on, don't claim au naturale and say you only make up for special occasions.

23. Flattery won't take you anywhere. Stop being so condescending. Compliments I appreciate, but flattery, anyone can spot the fakeness in it.

24. Please, leave your phone alone. I don't know what you are doing on whatsapp that can't wait. Would you please pay full attention to me!?

25. Don't borrow any of their stuff, then disappear into thin air. I'm still looking for the dude that did this to me, vanished with my powerbank.

SirWere:
Her lies are not well thought out at all...

Desperate bloggers and the urge for attention sha....

hmmm. It's easy to sit and type in opinions. Do I start explaining everything bit by bit to redeem myself? Maybe, but I don't think it'd be worth all the stress. Am I desperate? Most likely yes, because I'm confused about what decisions to take and I admit I really need help. Am I just seeking for attention or traffic for my blog? Neeh. Some dude asked questions, do I have carryovers? How did I switch from medicine to pharmacy? I don't have any carryovers, and yes, you can switch by deferring and reapplying immediately you get the admission, they'll approve your request if you meet their requirements and they have space for you in the department. Like I said it's no biggie. I really didn't post this topic to spend majority of my time battling with words, what I wanted was simple - useful advice and opinions. So far, so good.

Mammangaddafi:
Medicine won't take her anywhere in Nigeria so she decided to switch to pharmacy 'a better alternative'. This girl is a clown.

Now you just crossed the boundaries. Seriously? To sink so low as to name calling? Medicine seems promising right? Everyone wants to get into it? It's a dream come true? Well Goodluck with that if it's your dream too. I rest my case here. Just please next time, don't insult me.

SirWere:
You missed "studied physics for a year."

She's prolly seeking attention.
It's not new sha...

your low minded ignorance is both heart wrenching and pathetic.

Joephat:
just tell us the truth, do you have any carryover to write in your current Field?


maybe is bcz of your lapses in the field that's why you're contemplating to leave it for English and literary studies but to be frank with you, you don't need to study English n literary studies to be a good writer.


just focus n tidy your carryovers and then do whatever you want with your life.


finally, you didn't tell us why you av been changing from Nursing to Medicine and from medicine to pharmacy..

No biggie. The original plan was to be in medicine. My first jamb landed me in physics, second one in Nursing, and third one in medicine. But check the country, medicine won't take you anywhere, so I was allowed to transfer to pharmacy. It's not really a big deal.

Daviestunech:
Like which types of book do u intend to buy?

I made a list already, three textbooks, a couple of novels, one etiquette book and a journal.

LePrezident:
I like you, unfortunately I'm far from you I woulda done this.

It's okay. I'm not even in Lagos myself.

aflyingbird:
If it's posted on ur blog already then u're posting it here so we can try beans with it, right? Ur blog is already in ur siggy. All ur threads consists of posts already in ur blog. Like I said people do anything to generate traffic on their blogs , even if it's making fake threads. This is just so people can read ur blog.

On the contrary, I post more for the words written than the blog itself. Like I said, without leaving the back links, I'll get banned. You called me 'attention seeking' and that hurt, now you've switched to 'people do anything to generate traffic on their blogs', excuse me, did I offend you in your past life or something? I love writing, and I love being read, so yes I repost my blog articles here for it to reach a wider audience and for that, I remain unapologetic. Since you've decided to personally carry it on your head as a sort of proclamation of your self righteousness, please continue - #wehdonema. Keep having a salty opinion, maybe someday you'll finally reach wherever you've been flying to.

dessz:
this pic speaks my mind like this if it speaks yours as well.

You know, you could have just not commented and I'm sure you won't die. I wonder what you gain from a hate comment.

aflyingbird:
She just wants people to read her blog. The things people do for attention.

Now you are just being annoyingly narrow-minded. A link to my blog is on the post because it's posted on my blog already and if I don't put a notification about that, I'll get banned. Calling me attention seeking is just so shallow.

GSteve001:
lol. seriously?

yes, seriously.

Drabeey:
But our society regards the husband as head of tge family... Why should he resign... Moreso, the society frowns at a man who is jobless and probably at home tying napkin.

The man's obligation is not to the society, but first to his wife and kids. If their jobs prevent them from having time for their kids, both of them should resign, just that the man should go first since the wife earns more, no need risking the family's financial security all in the name of society and male ego.

I want someone to take me for book shopping in any reputable bookshop in Lagos. A girl can dream right?

Most likely pour her acid or something. Lol

Drabeey:
Let's learn..

In a family where the husband earns #150,000 every month, and the wife earns #1million every month and they both work in d same company, and the kids are lacking parental care and love. who among them should resign to take care of the kids?


Please reply with your answer and reasons behind your take.

Lets learn and improve our society.


#copied

It's all down to compromise. Husband should obviously resign first, get a job that allows him more quality time with the kids, and until he gets a new job (which we all know can be really hard and frustrating in this country of ours), the wife gets to be majorly financially responsible for the home, something that shouldn't be much of a big deal. Once the husband is back on his feet, time for the wife to resign too and get a job that allows her quality time with her kids. Parenting is not for one gender alone, both the husband and wife have vital roles to play, their jobs should never come first before the wellbeing of their children.

Snow5:
You don't even have a diary here self...so I can savour a little of your writing skill..


You are still holding much from me personally.. I really wanna know you with your writing skills.

You could always check out my blog, there's a link to it on my profile page.

Snow5:
How old are you? Just wanna know before I drop my advise.

lol. Sorry to say but that I can't tell.

GSteve001:
op, would you believe that I had this thought last week? I know our stories are not exactly the same. they wanted medicine for me too; friends said I'll be one hell of an architect or artist. people around me picked careers I couldn't have wanted then, just because I excelled in related subjects, and that confused me the more.

I loved reading too. even though no one noticed enough to buy me a book. but they allowed me learn the use of a sphygmomanometer at a tender age, because 'we' wanted medicine and surgery.
but now, I couldn't see a future without writing, seriously.

please don't quit school o. look at john grisham, studying law made his stories special. you don't just write a story filled with some legal jargons and events when you have never been there.

you can take a creative writing course. I am considering that, too.

awwn. I really can't send a reply to all the comments but I just had to reply yours. How about you email me your contact info, then we'll talk about the 'getting you a book' thing. *smiles

ADEWUMIMichael:
let the OP do whatever he wants to do in life so that he won't do someone else's job

for some reasons, I can't tell if you meant to be dismissively sarcastic or just sassy, but either way, I actually did laugh when I read this (in a good way), thanks for commenting, at least it's the first time I'm laughing genuinely about this.

SirKriz:
OP, I understand what you are going through. Trust me. I had similar experience too. I studied Civil Engineering whereas I'm a sucker for all things ICT.
I had 3 choices to make; Transfer to Computer Science, Take another Jamb form or Continue with Engineering and do computing on the side.

My friends were always saying I was in the wrong department. Lol

At the end, I finished well and still dedicated time to practice on my passion. It would be crazy and demanding, sometimes you will lose focus but ability to stay in the undesirable will make you stronger later on in life. When you are through with school, you can then decide what you really want to do, right now just prepare yourself to work harder. Hope it helps. All the best, dear.

Wise words, I really appreciate the optimism here. You are a gem.

oldfoolnigger:
Op dont do what u mind is pushing u to.is not a must that one has to do eng.and literary stu.before one becomes a good writer.field of study plays little role once u are a gifted writer,u only need guidance.there are many medical doctors who are great writers and novelists today.

this is a really nice point. Thanks for the great insight, I'll surely be penning it down.

0700Jesse:
Mummy come & see, they've start following your child again

probably it's funny to you, maybe a little bit stupid even. But please, do learn not to make fun of people, no matter how tempting. Nobody knows tomorrow and the tales it may bring with it. I do not beg for your kind words, but I'd prefer your silence to this matter if all you have is words full of mockery.

It wasn't real because I have never given it a real thought, well until three days ago, when I just blurted it out to Babe. It had been nagging in my chest, slowly becoming a nuisance, but until I actually said the words to Babe, the idea of dropping out had never been a real thing.

Dropping out of school isn't the sort of thing a girl like me would/should consider. A girl brought up in a good home with everything catered for and stuffs stuffs stuffs. But more reasonably, a girl with so much academic excellence and promise. My secondary school was filled with the same phrases from everyone when I told them I wanted to be a writer, "you want to waste your brains" they would half say, half question. My Papa hammered, drummed and sang the medicine thing - you will be a doctor. They so much believed in me, the girl with her face always buried inside a book. I still wonder why they didn't see it then, why they still can't see it now. Or maybe they can, they are just ignoring it, labeling it insignificant, a child that doesn't know any better.

I grew up reading my Papa's newspapers (with much encouragement from him), then I shifted to novels, history books, documentaries - different sizes, hundreds to thousands of pages. I was so immersed in books (still am) and writing only followed naturally. One time Papa called me into his bedroom and told me he didn't want me to do medicine just because it was what he wanted. That day, he asked me what I really wanted - I said medicine.

Maybe then I didn't know (who the eff am I kidding, I've always known!), but all I've ever wanted to do is write. Nobody was just listening because they felt self assured that someone with brains like mine should automatically choose medicine.

Only Babe has ever looked at me with eyes full of genuine understanding when I say I just want to write. I did physics for a year, then pursued Nursing, got into medicine and surgery, and now switched to pharmacy. And I finally realized the truth that I would not rest if it's not writing. It goes deeper than this, the uncertainty, the shallow feeling of emptiness, it's all irregular and just too depressing. I do not possess the elaborate vocabulary or literary prowress to put into words, how it really feels, the reality of the weight it puts on me.

I told Babe I wanted to drop out. This time, do it my own way. Fill out my jamb form by myself and perhaps go for English and literary studies even if it means rewriting waec. And until now, when I finally voiced it out to Babe, and now typing it, the prospects of dropping out has never felt so real. It seems reckless and foolish but my spirit wouldn't be still.

Originally posted in meetmitchell.

ReneeNuttall:
my dad used to tell us that if u want to live long learn to mind ur biz, it's their private life who knows both might be cheating too. don't be the cause for their breakup bcus ur conscience will know no rest. my neighbors(guys) brings in all manner of gals Wen their baes is not in and yet nobody poke noses and we are all living in peace.

You'll obviously mind your business when it's about your neighbor, but what about in the case of a really close friend?

There are quite a couple peculiar things about me that make me just believe I am some unique child from the universe with a special purpose. One of those peculiar characters would be my ability to walk into people's secrets all the time. So my life is always filled with stories of other people.

Sometimes I like the feeling, it's immature, but I can't help it - to have an edge over someone, to have them give pleading stares and say nice things to you like you've been cool pals since childhood. It's stupid but duh.

Gist Of The Day

I was walking out of Babe's hostel this morning and for some unknown terrible divine reason, I was pushed to use the back gate, only to walk into two of the neighbors smugging it out in the gym. Their guilty looks said it all. It was so awkward all I could do was stammer a "good morning" even though for sure the morning for them was automatically no longer good. I turned around and bolted back into Babe's room to divulge the whole details (he's my living diary).

The gist is, neighbour A (male) has a serious girlfriend and she's even living with him. I was morbidly pissed on her behalf, just the evening before, he was all lovey dovey with her to the point it was embarrassingly and annoyingly distracting because I was sitting not so far away from them. I'd have left but it was the only spot in the building where I could get mobile network but all I was getting then was my ears filled with "ooohs" and "aaahs" if you know what I mean.

Babe and I concluded it was none of our business. It's their private lives and we barely even have the rights to gossip about it. His girlfriend may find out but it wouldn't be from us.
But What If It's A Friend?

The case is a whole lot different when it has to do with a friend. Before BB moved to another town, we had just one issue. Her boyfriend she was so in love with was seriously asking me out while giving her hell in the relationship and doing everything to end it with her. I couldn't tell her, didn't tell her, until months later - it didn't go down well and it remains a topic we both avoid for the sake of our friendship. I wouldn't have even told her if not that I found out Babe's girlfriend then was being unfaithful big time and mistakenly divulged it, but he took it cooly though he was really hurt and told me never to withhold stuffs like that ever again if I'm really his friend. And with that confidence, I went to tell BB about the real reason her ex boyfriend broke up with her.

Even I at one time had to listen to that dreaded news, happened with my last boyfriend (relationship lasted 3 weeks or so). But it wasn't so bad for me because he was merely my rebound and I was never really into him.

Over time, I've learnt to mind my own business no matter what. Opinions should only be given when asked for. I don't want to be the snitch, but I don't want to be a bad friend and I certainly do not want to cross unknown boundaries. But it happens so often every now and then and I get lost for the decision to take.

"To tell or not to tell? And if to tell, how, when and why should I tell? If not to tell, why not?"

Originally posted in: www.meetmitchell.

Wolf In Sheep Clothing?

I've known Mr A for quite a while now, well not really known him, but we've been cool chat buddies. Like really 'cool' chat buddies. He's always online when I am and for the first time in a while, I'm actually chatting with a stranger that I seem to click with.

He's in his late 30s, owns a Banga (palm fruit) business, has his own house, car - really doing well for himself. He's unmarried with no kids though,which is something quite unlikely amongst men of his caliber (I should have taken this as my first cue to get suspicious), he said "nothing" when I asked why.

Trouble started when...

I ran into a bit of financial issue and I desperately needed help, so I asked my friend Mr A and sure enough he agreed to aid me with the amount. But he asked to meet with me at my place first (and this should have been my second). We haven't really met offline and I felt it was only fair a request, besides we're talking money here and with the rise of Internet scammers, we all know how sensitive it is.

So we pick a date and he shows up just in time, his perfume was weird, like burnt wood (at this point, I should have started suspecting foul play if I were paying attention to detail), I really couldn't pin point it yet.



It's all nice and normal until he starts professing love! (I should have kicked him out right then if I were any wiser) "Excuse me sir, forget we have chemistry, love isn't like that". I know he really likes me, but for a man that advanced, I guess I expected more maturity. Professing love to me on the first date (if we even want to call it a date) is childish. He started referring to me as his girlfriend, "seriously! is dating that casual to you, like it's something you just get into because she's got a pretty face and nice shape and keeps interesting conversations Don't you want to know the more serious things about me first, you know, something other than the made up online impression you have of me"? And then, he moved over to where I was sitting and attempted to touch me! (it was okay to call the police now) It took my last calm nerves not to land it dirty on his face.

And It Only Got Worse

He begged for a bj, then to go down on me, then outright sex- he kept begging for things that shouldn't even have been uttered. He buttered his phrases and made promises full of sugar and spice. He actually succeeded in disorientating me. Needless to say, it didn't make it any easier that I was attracted to him and I eventually ended up giving him a bj.

Another Bad Decision

Am I a bad person? He left with a satisfied smirk on his face and gave me 1k for dinner that evening (I felt a disgrace to my generation). I used it to get mouth wash. Our chats stopped because suddenly he hardly ever came online, he never picked his calls and neither did he reply the numerous texts. About a week later, he called again and begged to come see me. This time I flat out refused! I was still seething with embarrassment from the last time, I felt like he forced me with all his begging and coercing and stolen touching. But he kept begging and assured me that it won't repeat itself, (I already realized by this time that he has top notch begging skills, you just can't say no), I eventually gave in and next day, he was at my place at 12pm sharp.

A Chance For Redemption

I was mid way through my makeup when he arrived. I had lectures by 4. The first thing he did was try to hug me and make a grab at my boobs. I wasn't taking any of that nonsense this time, I am not his slut and last time was just one of my many many many bad decisions. I told him off immediately and he retreated. We talked about life just long enough for him to explain away his snubbing for the past week, then start asking me for a bj again, begging to suck and go down on me, asking for sex, making promises of how he'll take care of all my needs and I was important to him and he was seriously in love with me. I just kept saying no and continued preparing to go to class. He begged for a long time, it was minutes to 4pm before his tone changed.

He started telling me I was disrespecting him, making him beg like a child, I was heartless and cruel and I should remember this day because he must pay me back in the way it will hurt me as much as I have hurt him. He kept on this rant until I couldn't take it anymore. First, his silly talks and secondly, the smell about him which I finally deciphered to be the smell of cigarettes! He effing told me he was health conscious and neither smoked, nor drank. His excuse was that he smoked to kill the sexual urge. If stares could kill, he would have dropped dead right then.

On Self Respect And Lessons Learned

But it was a tentative decision making, he didn't have to tell me, if I didn't comply with what he wanted, he wouldn't help me with what I needed, it's a man's world they say, I was just caught between the devil and the deep blue sea. This man, professing false love, smelling cigarettes and trying to emotionally blackmail me, I just couldn't stand it. I wanted to hit him so bad, I was getting to that point where I get really pissed off and start barking like a mad woman, who did he think he was!? Has this been his plan all along!? Did he really look at me and concluded I was so easily manipulated!? I just wanted him out of my house right that instant and that was exactly what I did.

Maybe I was out of my mind or blinded by the desperation to get help or just plain stupid and reckless by letting him in the first time, but I was done and whatever wanted to happen, let it happen. I wasn't in to be manipulated and taken advantage of. He was supposed to be helping me, not asking for sex in return, was I wrong to have trusted him?

As disappointing as the whole experience was, I did learn a couple of valuable lessons about men and about life, the most important being it's never too late to make the right decision. Nobody can take advantage of me except I let them, and nobody should.

Originally posted in : www.meetmitchell.

debbie:
Is this not the famous NKITA-OKU.....Kai days of ITI-MMANWU .

Jesu. Lwkmd.