₦airaland Forum

It's really sad to see how perverted people have become these days. Having sexual fantasies in the house of God? God don cool down sa, if to say na before na thunder go strike them both. Anyway back to the topic, to me everything people av said so far comes down to one thing partners should really talk about the extent they would like to go in sexual matters so that there wont be problems in the future.
Like I said b4 every man (& woman) want there partners to be adventurous in bed, try new things and all that but some things are just out of it! When placed sides by sides with what is accepted as a norm some practices are truly found wanting that's where the word "freaky" comes in. It doesnt matter whether u are in d 1920s or 2055 moral standards are d same stealing has never been an accepted conduct, not in the biblical times not now and definitely not in the nearest future, sexual perversion aint different. Why should a man who hisses at sluts on the street want his wife to dress up the same way in order to be turned on? It's sure hypocrisy what if he'd not seen one the idea wouldnt av popped in his head. That's why I dont see role playing as normal. What if d entertainment industry never introduced these things in the first place. To me fine people might want to try positions but why should a woman(or man sometimes) dress up as a nurse, funny school teacher some people even make use of scary characters just to please their partner some people even beat theirselves inflicting pain all in the same of pre-intimacy? I dont agree to the saying that all is normal as long as it is kept private no. Even tho sex is meant to be private everybody knows it just a normal thing to av it when u are married but not everybody might see anything normal in tying up urselves to av have sex. So only people that dont see anything bad in this should pair up with themselves. It's really unfair do people(men or women) to start demanding these from their partners when it is against their spirit. It negates the principle of marriage itself cos sex is fundamental in it so when people av to tolerate marriage it takes the flavour out of it. So with regards to sexuality men should only marry women who can fulfill there sexual fantasies and not force some woman to do it.
With regards anal sex, to me it's plain perversion, of course once again it's dependent on individual but fact that some people dont see anything bad in assisting their failing friends in an exam doesnt mean it's good. It's still exam malpractice if u re caught. God himself is againt it remember where d Bible says men are turning their natural use into that which is against the nature in Romans 1:26 dont mean to sound spiritual. Medically it aint good also, it could traumatize the rectum and the woman could suffer incontinence for life. Just even looking at it it's like suddenly deciding to start eating thru ur nose.

Giving should naturally be part of any relationship. As a guy I naturally know I should give to my girl. But for a girl to start demanding for an allowance, then I guess that's gonna av to be the end of the road for us. Howeve we must note that if a girl finds herself in some kind of financial crisis it's only natural to seek assistance from her bf just like she would have done he she found herself in any other kind of crisis and aint nothing wrong with that, mind u it could be the other way round I mean the guy needing assistance. Personally I belief a girl only has the right to ask me for money to make her hair cream and all that when she's my wife unless she just cant cant get it from elsewhere.

I think u should reframe ur question, men dont like to marry sluts but rather they want women who are conservative but still want to experiment with their sex lives and it aint men alone, most women want it as much as men. Women also want their husbands to do to them unimaginable things and of course there is nothing wrong with that as long as it is private or else sex life becomes boring.

You must understand that sluts arent so named coz of freakw picture they give sex but rather because of the privacy they removed from it, many people naturally like to practice this things. It doesnt matter how conservative she is if a woman's sex life is publicised she will be called a slut and such women aint exactly men's dreamwives.

The only reason why u are seeing these things as freaky is because they are taking out of movies, magazines etc but then ideas always come from somewhere. However some ideas are plainly psychotic and men(& women) who practice them need to see shrinks but then most men dont belong to this category.

Guy hope say u no dey look for excuse to be stingy?

Pls can someone tell me the dictionary meaning of joblessness? ainise lo n da gbogbo yin laamu

@ Romeo
That was a great explanation u've given there. I now perfectly understand. Thanks a lot and I think u should write a book. However since u said u're quite knowledgable on neuropathic matters I'll also like to hear ur view on this issue; there's this friend of mine who has not been sleeping I just cant fathom why a person will just not sleep. Whenever this goes on for like 3 days he starts to show signs of neurosis. So he's constantly on this drug(Chlorpromazine) which he takes at night everyday before going to bed (has been on the drug for almost 20yrs now). However in recent times he noticed that d medication is no longer as effective as it used to be there are nights he doesnt sleep more than 2-3hrs and there are nights he doesnt sleep at all despite taking the drug. All d doctors could say was that he should continue with d drug. Any ideas we are all getting worried. Is it still possible for him to sleep naturally without the drug? His sickness started around when he was 30, before then he was sleeping well and naturally.

Ever had this experience before?
While sleeping u suddenly open ur eyes and u are aware of your surroundings but u cant just move your limbs, turn ur head or even say anything out loud. It's like something is pressing u down. The experience however is short lived and everything soon returns to normal. Some said it's diabolical spirits pressing you and all that others say there's a medical explanation. Any ideas please?

@ iice
meaning?

My friends tell me "guy there's a time to try things, this is a time to enjoy life and date girls before u settle down for something serious". Somebody was telling me he has dated 7 girls in 2yrs can u imagine! Or worst still some date more than one person at a time. Then I begin to ask myself this dating thing is it really meant to be something u just try out like u do with other components of youthful exurberance? Is it really something u have to engage in over and over again each trial giving u the experience that makes u better in d next relationship? The thing going on and on like that till u acquire enough experience to sustain a lasting relationship. Is it really something u should try with different people so that u can have a basis of comparism and then choose who you think suits u just like u will do for a cloth or shoe in the market? I've actually watched a TV program where aldolescents were advised to try out dating with different people so that they can become better at handling relationships by the time they are ready. We are in d age when people now date because the in thing is that when u are in school u must have a bf or a gf. In fact when u see some relationships u will laugh. As far as I'm concerned, dating is something u should into only when u are matured enough, appreciate d beauty of companionship and of course ready to be serious with and commited to someone and not something u go into because u'll need somebody to fill the space beside u at ur departmental dinner or to show to ur friends when next u guys are gisting about who already has a bf or a gf as if it's some elective course u have to pass. I really need people's opinion on this, my friends and I argue all the time

Jokingly, Ha ha ha I must add that this is one of the situations where the words coming out of the mouth are not guided by the brain. Ha ha ha it's all about joking right? when was d last time a higher function test was perfomed on u?

@ poster
U still in school? If so e be like say this ASUU thing is really getting to u. E no good may person no get work. GET BUSY!

Guy why u dey take this thing personal, u don dey yab d girl too much. Those are not nice things to say to a lady. This is supposed to be an avenue for people to express their views in other to assist each other and not abuse each other. She brought up the topic so that people can help her out of the tight corner in which she has found herself and not to complicate things. So I suggest u guys apologize to each other and stop all the obscenities, some under 18s log on to this site pls

In 99.9% of cases a lady will say no when a guy asks her out it doesnt matter if she's already into the guy or not. This is understandable because of d deep seated belief that ladies that say yes too early are considered as cheap. No lady will actually say yes the first time she just might say other things like she'd like to think about it which of course doesnt me she will say yes eventually. This is where knowing comes into place. Try to get close and be her friend u dont expect any lady to say yes to a stranger, with this she actually gets to know who u are and maybe u are somebody she can trust her heart with. After this if she still tells u no my guy take a walk.

Unless she really wants to deceive herself it aint love. It is absolutely impossible. U cannot even love 2 guys at a time let alone 3. She actually might like all of them but may not love any at all, I think she has to differentiate between those two. This girl should really look into herself and ask maybe it's really love or her hormones working. As far as I am concerned you can only romantically love one person at a time. When you say you love somebody u are committed to him/her and that does not give a space for the 2nd person or what else is fidelity? Apart from that you are probably giving yourself an insurance policy just in case one bleeps up which of course it's not love.

Thank u guys for all ur advice I must confess I never thought of some of them before. Some I can & will take and some I dont think I av d mind to consider as I would have to be heartless to be able to carry them out but I appreciate d concern all d same. So I guess I shld give it a rest for a while, forget d love talk, try to enjoy her company as a friend & gain her trust and if all does not walk I shld take a walk. But I must confess that aint going to be easy but what choice do I av if she says no all d same? I just hope to be able to love someone else.
To The Seeker
Thanks so much for d wonderful advice but I dont think I have d mind to do that. To me it infact negates d love that I profess for her besides women are not play things that can be manipulated anyhow but I appreciate d advice all d same.

To Ujujoan
Thanks for d advice but u could av presented it in a more nicer way. I wonder why you are taking things so personal, ur own answer is even more hurting than what d lady is doing to me. I understand d fact that it's possible for a lady to really not be interested but then there are reasons for everything and it's only nice if she lets me knw why she cannot date me & this even makes it easy for my heart to let go. All d same thanks for d advice.

To Djfiki
You re right cos I've not had any feeling for any other lady not before this girl and not after her. I've got a few friends and I like them a lot but not the way I like this girl. Infact she's d only person that has really appealed to the romantic side of me and hence d first and the only girl I've asked out so far. It's really going to be a lot of hard work to get her out of my system if at d end of it all she still says no. You are probably right maybe I'm lonely but thanks weed is not the answer and I've got a lot of hobbies.

To ThiefOfHearts
I dont know what your own definition of love is but it's probably bizarre. If at this age of mine u are telling me I dont know what love is then u are probably one of those that expect to see stardust to be sure if they are truely in love. I didnt say she barely talks to me, we talk from time to time and also on phone it's only that she's evasive when this subject arises and I once again say I love her with the whole of my heart and I know it

On d whole thank you all for your replies.

I sincerely luv her, asked her out & of course she said no(actually put "really" in front of d "no" & told me she doesnt want 2 talk abt it. Ever since then she has been so unpredictable, most times she behaves & talk 2 me normally, bt at times it's like she hates seeing my face, might even walk past without saying hello at times. Funny enough we talk normally on phone but I try as much as possible to stay away from d topic cos she's always evasive about it saying things like "wht are u talking abt?" as if d topic has never come up before. God the tension I feel whenever she's around, I cant even look into her eyes sometimes and if I do I dont see any change of expression it doesnt matter if I'm smilling I might as well be looking into my lecturer's eyes, or do u think something is wrong with my confidence? I tried to get close to her to be her friend cos we really dont talk much but u know she has this way of keeping u at a distance, one word answers and all that 've never really been able to go beyond asking how she's doing. It doesnt matter what I say she keeps her face formal when she's talking to me and I wonder how a female can be so impersonal or even if she has any feeling at all she's pretty good at masking it. The truth however is that I love this girl sincerely with the whole of my heart and would do anything within moral limits to convince her of this but then I dont know what else to do I really need advice on this, cant seem to be able to think of any other thing this days & dont really see myself falling in love with someone else.