₦airaland Forum

God loves a cheerful giver, not someone that gives with reluctance. If that's all you can afford, give it and if you can give more, do not hesitate to. Remember the story of the poor woman who gave so small, yet was said to have given the most because she gave all she had?

heavenly
serene
wonderful naija police

Necessary
Useful
Overrated


Men

I've not felt that way yet, and I hope I don't ever feel that way.

timba_bng:
Dogs are loyal while cats are . . . . . . .

Arrogant and selfish

Thank you all for your contribution. I got some really valuable advice here that helped me while preparing for my wedding. I'm well settled now and even though she still wants to dominate everything, she knows there's a limit to what she can do.*Phew*thank God for everything.

Emeka Ike is actually the highest paid actor now.I read his recent interview with a guy from punch(a week or two ago) and he confirmed it. Can't remember the date but it was on nigeriaworld.com

I don't know about women though.

There's really nothing I can't stand about him, but I will say he sometimes get me mad with the following:

Whenever we go shopping together, he makes me buy the first things I try on so we can leave the store asap
He's a fast and furious driver
He laughs when I nag


It's funny, but I used to like his fast and furious driving before we got married

At a wedding--my cousin's wedding.
It was love at first sight

IRPW respect themselves

It's a simple game. I'll start:

I respect people who (are). . .

passionate
resourceful and down to earth
know what they want and go after it
value God 
intelligent
generous and nurturing

What about you?

laudate:
But on a serious note, sweetthang why don't you guys settle in another city? If your mother-in-law lives in Lagos, I beg make una move go Abuja. If she lives in Ibadan, then choose Port-Harcourt as your base.

We don't even live in the same Country,praise God.

laudate:
Finally, don't you have caller ID? Just switch your phone on to voice mail, when her calls become too frequent. If she calls three times a day, pick up the phone once, and let the other two calls go into voice mail. Chikena!

I do that a lot,even the son does it more than me. Infact,for the past few days,he's not been picking all her calls. We pick like two out of five calls these days.

titilayomi:
I honestly think it's the guy's responsibility to untie the strings from his mom's apron and tie it to his wife's.
I understand it may seem uncaring and unappreciative to the mother, but for the sake of his own nuclear family (the mother becomes an extended family from the day he says i do).

Honestly, he's trying his best to do that. The problem is,he started rather late. He grew up obeying her and I was the first reason for him to defy her and I'm trying not to push too hard. She's really nice to me,but she's a pest. I think it's more of nature. Obviously,your guy's mum is not the domineering type but mine is, that's the difference.  

@st domain, I feel you and I'm trying my best to run my home the way I want, difficult as it is! I can see light at the end of the tunnel .

@night angel,
I must commend you on your wonderful posts! To say that you are not even a woman! Honestly your suggestions are working wonders for me here o,thanks a million times, didn't know we have guys like you here.

Thank you all for your wonderful contributions. I have read through your responses and I feel so blessed. I believe I am not a bad person,I try my best to be kind to this woman,i know she loves her son and because i love him too,i have had to put up with so much,but she seems not to appreciate it!

As for the aso ebi,me and my fiance will not wear her color for the main thing but immediately after the engagement we'll wear hers,what do you think? my pastor also said her pastor will be one of the officiating ministers that day,and she said she'll have to talk to her pastor first. Yesterday,she called to tell my fiance to pay some money into her account so she can buy our aso ebi. I have plans to buy them myself. . .i told her so and she said,ok o,have it your way,obviously she was angry!

I read your replies and I feel so light now,how true is the saying that a problem shared is a problem solved,at least half way. . .
Honestly,I almost didn't have the nerve to post something this personal for fear that people won't take it seriously,but thanks for your lovely responses so far. I'm trying my best but it seems this woman is just too possessive,always there,you understand?she's a pain in the a**!

cutey01:
let her feel you guys anytime you are in town.On the issue of pastor and wedding dress color,i suggest you wear the color she wants i.e blue and let your mum discuss with her on the pastor thing,your pastor should join you guys together.

She's feeling us o and we are feeling her(not the same way she's feeling us ) The second part of your post i.e the part that I should wear blue lace,isn't it ridiculous? i hate blue(powdered blue is fine but not her shade of blue) and my guy knows that!
@cute-ass,are you married? you sound soooo sweet! thanks,i think i agree with you somehow and i've always doubted that it's a spiritual strong hold,don't think she's that bad.Will try snd i've tried some of your suggestions,will keep trying.She disturbs usme everytime,home and abroad! Right now,i'm not in naija and i've spoken to her three times today!

@thiefofhearts, You are soo right! it's just not so cool to date,let alone marry an only child! I'm just managing the mum,you know,she's so young! if she were like 70something,i'll say she can die anytime,but she's so strong and healthy

ThiefOfHearts:
However this nonsense about her giving constructors a different plan is just ridiculous. See that's the thing I hate about Nigeria, ONLY in Nigeria can some random person come along and tell people "blah blah this is my son's house and this is the way it is supposed to be done" and someone would actually listen to that crap. No law no document, nothing. shio.Did you fiance even talk to his mother when that happened? That's some bull.

Yes he did and they didn't talk for over 2 months and that was the most beautiful two months we had together(with mama and son keeping malice,no disturbance) 
we both live abroad at the moment,but from dec,i'll be staying more in naija!!! and i'll be seing more of her

We’ve been together for three years now and we love each other so dearly. He’s so caring, affectionate, easy going ,brilliant and humble. He’s a complete gentleman and he cares so much for my family. We have a blissful relationship, but problem is his mum. She has this hold over him and he can hardly go to the toilet without her consent. Being an only child,I thought it was ok at first, since the dad is late. But even his family and friends said the only decision he’d ever taken on his own is his decision to marry me. We both fasted and prayed for her to endorse it! Anytime we are in Nigeria, we stay in the estate with her. She forces us out of our flat at ungodly hours. She calls her son 3-4 times daily on phone, and she speaks for at least 10mins each time! My fiancé is a doctor and she's always complaining about one ache or the other. Anytime he’s in naija, he becomes her driver and escort. She’s always hanging around us,home and abroad.

With prayer, fasting and my mum’s support and encouragement, I was able to convince him to start a building project. We both agreed on the design of the house and even started it before traveling back. But to my shock and horror,after we left, she asked the construction workers to bulldoze the foundation and she gave them another plan, erected the foundation, though with her money, but she robbed us of our dream house! That day I cried. At times, I feel like opting out of the relationship but one look at my guy’s tearful eyes melts my heart. My family and our friends are always encouraging me to look at the love between us.

We both traveled home for our Introduction last month and the wedding is coming up this December. The problem now is; she’s taking her dictatorship too far. She wants us to wear blue(her favorite color,not mine) for the traditional wedding, she wants her “pastor” to officiate at the wedding in my church! My mum isn't happy with that, and my fiancé had pleaded with her, but she refused. We’ve already been told that she has this spiritual strong hold over him. What do I do? This woman is 58 years old and doesn’t look like she’ll die soon. My patience is running out .

@topic,

NONE is final.Marriage is a matter of the heart,pray to God and follow your heart.

Any testimonies of people actually reunited?

I'm a lil' bit new here but having read through most of the threads, I found a lot of them dumb. Am I alone in this line of thinking or do you have a list of dumb topics?
For starters(In my humble opinion)

   90% OF ALL GIRLS ARE LESBIANS, by fellow
   BEAUTIFUL LADIES! UGLY LADIES! WHO ARE RICHER?   By pkrix
DUMBEST TOPIC(S) ON NAIRALAND, by sweetthang

what are the dumbest topics you've come across on nairaland? List according to how dumb you think they are. Thanks.

Free:
why would she want to look like an animal
she needs help, an intervention
pure madness

she's trying to look pretty cos her husband had an affair with a 21 yr-old girl,she over did the botox thing.

Talking about cosmetics surgeries reminds me of jocelyn wildenstein;how far will people go to get a [b]'PRETTY'[/b]face?

na wa for you o! you must be really shoooort to think short girls are better.Anyway,it depends on what you mean by tall,is it like 6+ or what? I'm a lady sha,maybe guys are better judges.

Who made any of us the judge of beauty?besides,i think beauty is in the eyes of the beholder.To me,if you are hot in body and face and you are cold inside your heart,you are really ugly.
However,if i meet two ladies with the description here and they are both beautiful inside,i'll choose the one with pretty face and we'll work on the body if it's too repulsive.

Orikinla,
   you said something about women wanting to be pampered and you living with a girlfriend that bored you. You seem to be forgetting that you are at least 50% of your relationship and that you have as much power as your woman to make the relationship interesting, fulfilling and rewarding. Success in any relationship is not all about finding the right mate; it’s about being the right mate.
  If your relationship or marriage is boring, please check yourself, the problem may lie with you. I know marriage is not without it’s ups and downs, but we need to realize that marriage is not an entity with it’s own independent existence, WE make the marriage .If your marriage is boring, it’s either you are not with the right partner or better still, you are BORING as a person.
One more thing, if you want a loving wife and not a boring one, you have to learn how to pamper women.