₦airaland Forum

Seriously,is it really the religion thats the root of the perceived stress in this relationship or how the parents,family,friends etc will see things?
Sincerely,Love conquers all & if we look @it objectively what are the differences that really cause problems in a relationship/marriage?
xtians marry xtians, & still divorce
muslims marry muslims, & still divorce.
Lets be realistic with ourselves here and stop trying to base the cause of our worries on the shadows, leaving the substance.
To all those giving advice on what they think, seriously, are you sure youve identified the true cause of the problem?
Those with several examples to rely on (thesis) did you really talk to the couples involved?
lets be sure so we dont mislead others based on our sentiments.
For those still trying to figure this, the key word is UNDERSTANDING!!!!
@poster establish this amongst other things (trust,love,etc) and please dont forget to post the wedding iv.
Wishing you all the best!

To drop off her shirts and suits at the cleaners; casuals and all others in the washing machine pour detergent and hit fuzzy wash seriously dont we have more reasonable things to discuss?
This same womans' going to carry your kids for nine months to start of with, all those saying they cant do this i dare you to tell your wives what you said, show her this post, then let us know how much of a "man" this really makes you,im appalled!

If destiny exists how come "he that findeth a wife" comes into the equation?

Ahhhh!
The bliss that comes from the ignorance of men when they really choose to let their emotions over ride their reasoning!
Seriously how many people on this post have actually been on one side of the religious divide whilst their partner whom they truly love is on the other?
As far as im concerned all ive seen are posts & plenty more posts that fail to address the mans fears, sincerely!

On a general note,Let me ask based on both couples having the same religious backgrounds,which religion has a higher divorce rate, or more lightly put more complaints about spousal differences?

I keep saying this the bane of our problem is we never accept the truth,we just let our emotions & "religious preferrential differences" run riot whenever issues involving religion is involved.

Lets go back to the basics believing of course that everyone here apart from getting some form of education {which i must say im having difficulty convincing myself on its effect, sorry but i need to be honest!} also reads other books on self improvement.

At some point even if its just a snippet from a newspaper column on relationships, we all must have read something on the issue of relationships so i ask

WHAT ARE THE BASIS FOR A SUCCESSFUL RELATIONSHIP OF ANY KIND?

DOES MY GETTING MARRIED TO SOMEONE OF THE SAME RELIGION AS MINE GIVE 100% GUARANTEE THAT MY MARRIAGE WOULD BE FREE OF CHALLENGES OF ANY FORM LET ALONE DIVORCE?

WHAT IF MY PARENTS WERE OF YOUR RELIGION & MINE OF YOURS, WOULD WE STILL SEE THINGS THIS WAY?

&[MY FAVOURITE!], WHAT ROLE EXACTLY DID YOU PLAY IN YOUR BEING BORN INTO YOUR PRESENT RELIGION, THAT GIVES YOU AUTHORITY TO BLAME ANOTHER?, im just asking but your response hopefully would be intelligent enough.

Lets be honest with ourselves here, I believe people come here to share their views and concerns on issues so that they could be improved as individuals and so that people with similar challenges can learn, let that be at the back of our minds when we click on reply, please.

I know a couple both christains with three daughters today theyre seperated, theyre still christains even afterwards.

I also know a man who is a muslim married a muslim  for close to Eleven years today hes seperated from his wife, irreconcilleable differences he says, theyre both still muslims, with two sons and a daughter between them.

I had a Prof at school then whose wife was from a christain family,Hes a muslim, their kids are grown now all out of the house now the mans about retiring now.Met his wife the other day she said she came to get curtains for their home in the village according to her Prof was retiring soon & they had to leave the staff Quarters for our own house, I could be wrong but if she hadnt been happy with her husband all this while I dont think that look of peace on her face that day would have been there.

A friend of mines married to a christain wife hes also christain, & theyre both really happy with themselves just got back from a second honeymoon they called it in Ghana after 9yrs of marriage!

A really close friend of mine from a muslim family,you need to see the way her parents talk with each other youd almost certainly assume they were secondary school students, their first son is out of the university,the man still buys his wife chocolates!

If we all choose to look closely we all have similar examples from around us except our bias often blocks our view of things.

I really dont think God brings challenges that are beyond us our way,

How come the very thing that preaches love & peace becomes the basis for so much, ?

Dude i hope im not too late responding but if you both truly love each other, do you know even if its not the religion thing,theres tribe issue,social standing of both families?Trust me you dont want to even go there,you'd hear people of the same tribe say they dont think you should marry because of differences in your dialects!
Try raising the post and see.Youd be amazed!

, like i was saying if you both love each other, take time to be good to each other, be friends to one another,talk, talk, &more talk to each other, youd be amazed how far things will work out.

There really is a difference btw religion & knowing God.

All the best!

fab1
im not even going to trade words with you read the post again think about it line by line then if it still doesnt hit, sorry!

seems the religious rivalry will never end worse still when pple like david come on board being the type of person he is why don't people ignore him?
Take a look at all the replies how many have successfully encouraged the convert?
its sad when people are not aware of the vices that aren't of Allah &should be ignored.
please to all of you in the battle keep your opinions to yourselves better still exchange email & even house addresses then hurt yourselves if you want to.
some of us actually come on board to educate &improve ourselves so really if you dont have anything contributry but rather to hurl insults at one another would someone please start a thread for meaningless insults so we can be out of your way,please david &his cohorts i beg you all with Gods name.
Thank you.

It still baffles me when i read threads like this and see comments made by some people.
i believe the average subscriber to this sites seen the four walls of a higher institution?
When we come off using examples of people we see or stories weve heard as a basis of description of an entire religion i think its low, really low on the scale of reasoning.
Muslim girl with Hijab doing this christain girl pastors wife for that matter doing that, when will we as Nigerians actually grow (in our reasoning)?
I think its sad that in this time and age people will still make remarks like this.
Think of it does it take a tree to make a forest?
This is the very cause of why were still stunted as a nation and worse still even this generation with access to the internet and other forms of communication still talk like this!
sad, very sad.
you all keep on bickering and throwing stones at each other ok it really helps.
Then we say its the illiterates that start the religious/tribal wars.
From a bit worried about a relationship its now this.
Shame on all tribal and religious commentators,like there was so much you did to be on your side of the divide.
truly disappointed!

wait till you drop down dead cos you're working to make "the money" then see how much sympathy or respect is shown to you or your family then you'll know that alot of people in the sector are not thinking straight.
So cos you get paid so much money your life should be of no value?
Are Nigerian bankers the only bankers in the world or the highest paid?
The  system is really sick

Sincerely this is rather ludicrous but you need to get up get your act together &really move on with your life.
If you do manage to get back into the bank do you really think you'd like the kind of attention they would be giving to your work?
you don't need this seriously it might sound difficult to accept but you really need to move on with your life.
Read 'who moved my cheese'.
You lost the job with them so?
Is that the end of the world?
Get somewhere else please, seriously it could be your wake up call.
All the best.