₦airaland Forum

Vieira:
Good Post.

I believe lack of patience and not trying to endure stuff is to blame.

Nowadays divorce is no big deal hence where before due to shame you would try and work things out nowadays at the first sign of yawa people will just split.

My first year of marriage for me was the worst and I thought many times of quitting but I did not.

I stuck it out especially when she got pregnant and realised that any rash decision will also affect my son.

The marriage is no longer just about me. I see what happens to kids brought up by single parents and while having two parents is no guarantee at least we are giving the kid the best of all options.

After the first year it got easier and easier and you soon realise it is all about compromise.

Make no mistake I still struggle at times but no longer do I think of splitting as the first solution.

from the age of 16 I have been Independent, living on my own and doing what I like for upto 15 years, so imagine the shocker when I got married and all of a sudden someone was asking me where am I going? when will you be back? you cannot go? be back by 2 am??

It takes getting used to the fact that my freedom was no longer mine.

and it was worse becuase my wife has never lived by herself and hence is not the independent type but the type that dislikes being alone. Almost my opposite!

But I am still married to her after 5 years and we have mellowed a bit, no more crazy fights just normal arguments!

I hope that helps.

Wish there were more men like you, and women too. Then perhaps there will be less single-parent families

All of this rhymin

Is making my head spinnin

Ade.f you be trippin

Cos i'm  here, simply chillin

Yet don't you go flippin

The lady here's just teasin

'Sides, look at the start of this threadin

I wasn't first with the 'mating'!

Ade.f - - - - see wetin you don start ooooooo!

In response to people's requests in wanting to meet up, intreact, and hook up with other fellow Naijas living in London,  London Naijas Group has been set up.

Great way to hook up with other fellow Niajas living in London, exchange messages, catch up on news and gossip, meet up socially - maybe even find a date.  We hope to start with at least one social event a month and see how it goes. 

Join the group by going to the groups homepage.

Details below.

Comments, questions or suggestions, contact me via the group's email address or my email address on my profile page

Hit me back




Group name:    London Naijas
Group home page:    [url=http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/londonnaijas ]http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/londonnaijas  [/url]
Group email:    londonnaijas@yahoogroups.co.uk

I have set up a Yahoo Group for Naijas living in London.

Great Opportunity to interact, catch up, exchange messages and even meet up for social events.

Here are the contact details:

Group name:    londonnaijas 
Group home page:    http://uk.groups.yahoo.com/group/londonnaijas 
Group email:    londonnaijas@yahoogroups.co.uk 


Spread the word   

whitelexi:
Ehm. . . Tega, there aint no contact info in your profile

Sorry, about that, i have rectified the situation now.

If you still can;t find it try naija_inlondon@yahoo.co.uk

okay then, anyone interested send me an email (check my profile) be sure to make your subject title LONDON NAIJAS MEET-UP
You will be part of the mailing list and when any events come up, you will be informed, simply RSVP yes or no

causes for marriage or relationship failure?

People giving up too easily too quickly.

"Falling in love is easy; staying in love requires work"

will leave you guessing,

Come on - we can be creative about it.

How about this -
the organiser for the event looks around London (online or whatever) for any events they think will be of interest to us and gives us the details by sending an email to those who wish to come saying something like:  "  Disco/Jazz/Whatever event taking place at such and such place/club/pu at such and such time on such and such date.  We meet up, boook a group table and have a laugh.  We can decide to buy our own drinks and pay something like £5 into a 'pot' when we meet up

As time goes on and we feel more comfortable, one of us may decide to host us at their home - we turn up with a small contribution for the host or bring a bottle and party food.

Seriously - there are many ways to go about this, if we reallly really want to

Bite me! 

annoying

irritating

mating

With HIV growing at an alarming rate- not just in Africa, but all over th world, it makes no sense to completely ostracise the infected.

Nowadays there are non_HIV people who date and even marry HIV-people, without it affecting their lives - much. It has been said that is is possible to date and even have sex with a HIV positive person without catching the virus yourself. If the HIV person is on medication, the chances of them being infectious to others is very low, especially if it's a woman as it is statiscally harder for women to pass the the virus on than it is for a man to pass it on. Practise safe sex, always and you would not get infected. Even mixed couples (where one is positive and the other is not) who do have unprotected sex often escape the risk of transmission, especially if the HIV positive one is on medication - not that am saying you have unprotected sex with HIV positive person ooooo!

New medications are being developed all the time and a lot of HIV positive people live happy, healthy active lives - the survival rates has increased to more than 30/40 years and the scientists are actively searching for a vaccine and then a cure

With regards to children, once again, a lot of healthy children are being born to same-status couples (couples who are both HIV positive) and mixed-status couples (couples where only one is HIV positive). The mother is administered medication in pregnancy, the baby is via Cesearean section and given medication for a few months after birth - alll this results in a completely healthy child, completely free of the virus.

In any case, in answer to the topic, it would be very hard for me to make that decision if i was in that situation - it all depends on the strength of love between us.

Check out my profile page and then check out my last posts to view some of my comments.

edygirl:
how about driving 65mph on a highway and someone just stupidly enters your lane I mean infront of you and start driving 30mph.

Or having someone tailgating you (driving very close behind) and flashing thier headlights incessantly

Someone driving towards you with their headlights on full beam, always!

Some one driving in front of you and always indicating left and right at every junction, yet never making a turn off into any junction.

Someone driving in frront of you, who is following the bus, pullling up when the bus stops at every bus-stop, rather than overtaking, Godness!!! I could go on and on

LOL, this is hilarious!!

No 5 - would not annoy people, it would simply freak them out!! Eeewh! Gross!

No 49 - poepl woul simply think you are escaped mental patient,

NO 52 - IS THIS ANNOYING YOU GUYS YET, LOL!!!

Hre is number 102, and this infuriates people in the UK

102 - talk VERY VERY loudly on your mobile phone and laugh racuosly when in public places

No worries.

Me sef I be newbie here, discovered the site about 2-3 days ago and am already finding it hard to tear myself away.

Ade.f, browse the site, make a few posts, reply a to few posts, chat online/offline if you wish, meet online/offline if you wish - but above all, have fun and enjoy

But i must warn you, though, this site can be veerrrrryy ADDICTIVE !!!

@ Balogun:  Trying my very best to uphold naija's good name down here in the UK


@cute-ass, sorry about yesterday, i had work, work, and mroe work.  Hope you are having a good day today

[quote author=ade.f link=topic=12974.msg1029544#msg1029544 date=1176278736]tega78, Interact and connect, but electronically!!!! if it were otherwise we'd all be joining a book club![/quote]Okay ooooo

People join nairaland for various reasons, some to connect and interact electronically, and some to meet up socially and make friends.

No one says should interact anymore than you wish to, but no need to come down so hard on the people who want to interact socially with other naijas in their location.

As you're a newbie on the forum, i'll let you off on this one, sha

Have a good time on the forum, and welcome, ekaaabo, waado, nno

Hi again Idinrete

Love the message, but perhaps some interpretation of the passage for our non-naija/non-yoruba speaking readers

In view of the amorous topic, here are a few quotes to uplift the despondent and caution the impulsive (people like me, LOL)

The greatest ironies of life: having the right person at the wrong time, having the wrong person when the time is right, and finding out that you love someone after that person walks out of your sight , "

The higher you climb on love's ladder; the harder you fall."


Everyone must go through a storm to get to a rainbow."

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: It goes on."


The biggest mistake of my life is that I said yes, when I had to say no."


"Breaking up is just like having the worst nightmare after having the best dream


No man is worth a woman's tears; the only one who is, will never make her cry."

Love from one side hurts, but love from two sides heals."

Friendship may, and often does, grow into love, but love never subsides into friendship."

The reason you haven't found the love of your life is because the love of your life hasn't found you yet!

Tears which last a lifetime speak for the most cherished memories made

The more you get hurt in the world of love, the wiser you are in the life of love

"Plaisir d'amour ne dure qu'un moment; chargrin d'amour dure toute la vie.
Love's pleasures last but a moment; love's sorrow last all through life."


"I miss the way you used to hug me, I miss the way you used to kiss my lips, but most of all I miss the way you held me and my heart. I miss you, "

A life filled with love, must have some thorns, but a life empty of love will have no roses


@everyone in love, out of love, losing love, hugs n kisses ((((  ))))))   ****

IBDat:
I'm in NW, Wembley to be rpecise. How was dinner? Or shall i say breakfast. Where abouts in East are you?

Ilford/Chigwell.

I know Wembley quite well.  Actually, Edgware/Harrow


Send me a PM naija_inlondon@yahoo.co.uk

@IBDat am in east london, and you?

@ stevetop, cheeky

I currently have a female cat and a tortoise


I grew up with 7b alsatians, a monkey , and a hutch of rabbits, all in lagos!!

If they are going to practise an open marriage, wy bother getting married in the 1st place?

I beleive that the main motivation behind adopting the opne marriage philosophy is acknowledging that we as humans will always be vulnerable tom being tempted. It is saying: "we love each other, but sometimes we may feel the need for other sexual partners. Therefore we want to be able to satisfy our physical needs wihtout it being a threat to our marriage. being open about our 'affairs' will prevent the said affairs from disrupting our family"

pardon me, but i think that is all pure BS.

Whilst it is entirely possible to have a sexual partner wihtout any emotional involvement, we humans are not built that way. We make connections, physical, as well as emotional ones.

What happens if the husband or wife who has a brief fling with someone else fallls in love with that person?

The family unit/marriage is then under threat of being disrupted and they would choose to either divorce or include the new partner into their relationship. Carry on that way and things will end up getting cimplicated.

Marriage/commmitment is about giving yourself (physically, emotionally etc) EXCLUSIVELY to one partner.

If you are incapable of doing that, why bother getting married?!

@ Rlst84sale - welcome back.

Cany you guys believ am just settling down to my dinner, not good at all, the addictions is seriosu.

I think am a confirmed nairaland-aholic

monshege:
Haha please tell them oooo
half of the people saying they will marry the person havent really thought about it. love or no love, when it comes to marriage, there are other forces that would make sure you don't marry HIV patient. and personally, i would not marry the person, whether we are in "love". i shall render my help and love, that don't mean i am going to marry you. lol. thank you jare for being truthful
one day the virus is going to mature and grow into a full blown disease, and thats when the talk will change.

on the other side, there is talk that people of African descent has a "CCR5" receptor gene that makes them immune to the HIV virus, hence they become carriers, so if you want to gamble with fate, go ahead and stick with the person and marry him/her and live happily ever after in the land of no return

basically, what you are saying is HIV people should stick with HIV people and non-HIV people should stick with non-HIV people. What next, isolate them in a seperate state like lepers?
This does not solve the problem

hmmmmm

okay oooh, it was meant as a joke

@monshege, don't be gross
what i meant was " I am so addicted to nairaland, i haven't left my seat for 2 days!

beavers007:
Same here! We need help!!

Perhaps we should set up an NA (nairaland-aholics Anonymous) club

yeah well, i am glued to the seat, have been for the past 2 days, can't move