₦airaland Forum

Excellent. She is beautiful .carry on!!!

I had a similar issue and I went ahead and married my sweetheart. I went againsty mum and succeeded. If mum has doesn't have a cogent reason for her disapproval, please go ahead with your plans - life's too short for you to live your parent's life. Youst understand that most mothers see their sons as their "boyfriends" and get jealous when the issue of marriage comes up. You have to man up and do what you see as good for yourself. Above all, be you a Christian or Muslim, pray fervently before making your decision for God to guide you. If you are still convinced, go through with it.

Eventually your mum will come around, just like mine did. I guarantee it

johndan103:
Background
I am 28 years old (will be 29 on the 18th Oct) and I am ready to go the family way. I have a lovely girlfirend lets call her Hauwa, she is 28 too (will be 29 March next year) and is emotionally matured and ready to settle down too, but the problem is my mom.


Statement of Problem
My mom gets irritated when I tell her i am ready to marry. She keeps hoping i dont get married soon saying i am ungrateful for all the care she has shown me. I have a Job and i have promised to do what I should do. But she said i must not marry the person i love. She has rejected every lady I have brought home. In fact she has never approved any relationship I have ever been in. Every lady i date is either a prostitute or a low life according to her.


More Details
She wants to match make for me. She is always talking about her friends daughters, so last year i tried to reason with her and allowed her to send me her choice (this was before my present relationship).
She sent the lady's number and i contacted the lady. Very rude lady who thinks being a medical student is the best thing that has happened since sliced bread. We didnt gel at all cos i feel she's too slow and not my type of woman, she also wasnt digging the match making thingy. The lady eventually told me she is in another relationship and i felt relieved. I told my mom and she said theres another medical student (daughter of another friend) of hers.



My Point of View
I am tired of her trying to match make me with her own opinion of the best choice for me. I love this lady I presently am dating to the moon and I cant see myself leaving a matured, humble and independent woman for another slowpoke i dont even know.

My mom has said if i go ahead I wont have her blessings in the marriage and that i have been jazed. I used to think moms will be happy that their son wants to start a family but mine has made it harder for me. I know parents want the best for their children but this is a tall oder for me.


Hauwa's Point of View
Hauwa is already feeling rejected about the whole saga and has asked me to keep peace with my mom. She says she undestands moms are protective. She handeled it well with maturity. I delibratelty asked her to visit my mom from the begining of the relationship so that they can familiarize with themselves but my mom wont accept her. Hauwa is saying it will be difficult emotionally for us if our relationship and marriage is not accepted.


Mom's Point of View
The first reason my mom gave is that Hauwa is Igala while we are okun (i have introduced my mom to an Okun lady in the past she said our village doesnt marry from Yagba, I also introduced her to another youruba lady she said the lady parents are not together so she wont keep a home).
The second point my mom raised is that the lady is financially independent, makes money and drives a Jeep. (I have asked Hauwa about her financial status and I am convinced runs is not not her way cos she has elaborated on how she affords her lifestyle and its genuine).She also asked for the 4million she loaned me before I talk about marriage which I will. I asked her if she wants cash or a car and she said a benz. My plan is to get her an SUV before end of the year so i can focus on settling down next year. I am very lonely and tired of bachelor life. I want to settle down and start have kids not sleeping around like a fuckboy.


Family point of view
My family is very educated and well travelled so i dont understand why this issue is coming up. I am already processing visa for Hauwa cos i cant keep breaking my heart by ending relationships at her command just to to make her happy. My dad is neutral but he wont want to offend his wife so he might try and reason with her. My sisters have said they will support my chioce but I shouldnt complain if I make the wrong choice even tho my mom will try to convince my siblings not to give me any kind of emotional support.


My Question
What are the repercussions of going ahead with the marriage plans?? Has any man successfully gone against their moms wish and turned out happy??


NB: No one can change my moms mind, not my dad, not pastor, not her sister. on one because she will convince them she is right and tell them I am lying, that she has never rejected anyone except this person.
Please I dont want to give the impression that my mom is a bad person cos she has trained me in the right path and I have never lacked because of her. She is also very supportive and has provided everything and more at all times for all her children.

Please be kind to us cos im sending the link to Hauwa to read matured peoples opinion.

Cheers

Meaning you can do the same.

iLegendd:
Weak men everywhere.

You are a good person who wants to do the right thing. Love is not a one-way street, which is what yours is. A woman having a daughter for you and a traditional wedding isn't enough as you must ask yourself if you are ready to beg her all through the marriage - that's if she eventually agrees to marry you. Move on man, she's most likely found another man and is sending you the messages which you aren't getting clearly. I know it can be painful but I guarantee you, it's a lot less painful now than 5 or 10 years down the marriage. Use your head man

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Don't report them EFFC.how much will EFFC give you if you do. And They might come for you later.report to your landlord.

My own advice is give him a chance.forget all the negative reports on Nigerians. Even Christ was born in small town called Narazeth. And there is saying that can any good thing come out of Nazareth come and see. Forget the programming. And read a book by Anthony de mello "a call to love".thank me later

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Marry her if she is of good character and respects you as the head of the and leader of the family.Since your Dad approves your mothers approval can be over looked

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