₦airaland Forum

wth

You know how having good hair and light eyes is valued in the black community. When someone has soft hair texture, I always hear the black women and men saying how "pretty" their good hair is. I want people to do that to me and say they wish they had my hair or light eyes.

I don't think they'll like me just for my skin shade but their perception of me will be much more positive. I want popularity, acceptance and status that comes with having those ideal features (lightskin, long hair, light eyes)

As a light skinned lady, I worry so much about getting scars because any little injury, it shows the mark very well, unlike the dark skinned person, it would not be so obvious.

That is not true. I've seen darkskin and lightskin ppl with acne scars that were very very visible.

now i see your problem. Low self esteem. Some men do care about skin tone, some personality, some weight, some races, there are different characteristics. Let me ask you this, what if you chnage yourself, and you still don't get a man, what would you do?

Live alone.

Which would you prefer? being an albino or darskinned?

Seriously, I agree with you that most perceive light skinned to be more beautiful but that's where it ends, nothing more. If a guy is looking for a pretty lady, whether she is dark, light, green, pink, red or whatever color, I believe he would still go for them. Those guys you encounter are probably ignorant or something.

I don't really understand what you are trying to say. You say most perceive lightskin to be more beautiful, yet guys are still looking for pretty ladies that are of any complexion. You are double talking. Which is it? Do they care about skin tone or not?

What is really your problem from this post? You want to be light skinned? You want to change "YOU" and be someone else or what?

Yes, I want to change me. Once I get ahold of some money I will.

Really, I don't need your trust.
I just need you to stop being ignorant.

I've never had good experiences with dark men like you. I don't trust you.

.

Yeah there are a lot of dark African models, but I don't live in the fashion world. I live in the real world and the standards are more like the commercial standards (lightskin, light eyes)

I've gotten really light before and noticed the difference.

I like to believe I'm dark skinned.

My dear, like others say, if you're ugly, you ugly. Making your skin brighter is not going to changed your body structure.

I figured. I really don't trust you.

Ok, so you know black men think this way yet you want to associate with them? How about trying other races? Besides, not all black men think this way, you're just attracted to the ignorant ones. says a lot about you.

stop crying about your dark skin preventing you from meeting men, that's just BS. I am dark-skinned, trust me there's no one better than me They don't holla at you because it's either you're ugly or you obviously lack self-esteem. Try plastic surgery or Oprah, something. But please, stop with the crap.

Men don't care about your self esteem. When men are looking at women in the street they aren't scoping for how high her self esteem is, they are just looking at the physical. they can't always read what is on your mind just by looking at you, not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve.

Where I live there is not alot of IR dating, all the racial groups tend to date within their own race

After your looks, the next thing a man checks for is your personality.
My dear, no matter how sexy or ugly you may look, ain't no one going to keep your low self-esteem (if you have any) sef. So get yourself together and stop sobbing about how ugly or how dark skinned you are.

Are you a darkskin black man?

Lol @ post, r u serious?? Gabrielle Union does not have a lot of status?? Girl, think again, I am light skinned and yes many perceive light skinned women to be more beautiful but there are a lot of dark skinned girls that are more beautiful than the light skinned ones. It has nothing to do with color, if you are ugly, you are ugly, if you are pretty, you are pretty in respective of any color and by the way, no one is ugly.

Actually, no she doesn't. Despite some of her success she still doesn't have as much notoriety as her lighter skin counterparts. She has discussed this. Maybe to the average person yeah, but amongst Hollywood not so much. Many of the rappers are still rapping about wanting lightskin women, and as pretty as Gabrielle is, they wouldn't want her because she doesn't have the status that lightskin and long hair brings

yes many perceive light skinned women to be more beautiful

I have a problem with this. Even you admitted this. And I cannot ever be happy knowing many black men feel this way

Yes.

Gabrielle Union was recently on a show discussing how she is often the only darkskin woman trying out for a lot of roles in Hollywood. Growing up, she was rejected for being dark, and still is to some extent. Yes, she is very pretty but being dark, she still does not have a lot of status. How many black men in Hollywood are dating women who look like her? Not many

Black men don't really care about all of that. Really, all they look for are physical attributes when scoping out women i.e lightskin, long hair, light eyes. If all it took was confidence than many darkskin women like me wouldn't feel slighted all the time

Because you reason like a child whos mother has not built up her self esteem and a father that has not shown you that you are beautiful.

This is something I would expect from my 7 year old.

I hope and pray that my daughter never thinks that her dark skin is something that will prevent her from getting what she wants or desires.  I would hate to think that she actually looks at other woman and wants thier skin or other atrubuites.

I would hope and pray that my daughter with her dark skin and scared legs still loves her enough to know that God will put the right man in her life for her at the right moment and that she might have to kiss a few frogs along the way.  

I would hope and pray that my daughtar knows that her beauty lies with in.


Just because a girl is lightskined does not mean that everything is all peachy and rosy for her that every where she goes the red carpet is layed out for her.  Because you are sadly misplaced.


I wish all the time that my skin was darker.

I am 23.

I have not been able to accept this. I have seen a therapist and taken meds (i have a cousin who is even darker going thorugh the same thing), it just does not work. I figured I might as well save up enough money and get some kind of intensive chemical peel that will make me light. I know pepole say all of this crap about loving yourself but once you step out in the real world, all that stuff just flies out the window. I have cousins who are mixed, and I remember hanging with them and feeling so ugly. They don't even have to try, they walk around in the neighborhood and the black guys start coming out and yelling "hey redbone" And they are not even that pretty.

Even with the hair, when I wear some long silky hair black men just strike up a conversation with me just based on the fact that my hair looks so straight, yet when I wear natural  hair styles that are more kinky, nothing. They aren't as friendly nor do they approach me as much.

try Tura or symba (they got it at walmart or target)

I've tried a lot of over the counter products. They don't get you light enough. It makes the skin even and smooth, maybe a bit brighter, but I am very brown, and a far cry from lightskin. When I take out a loan in the fall, I'll see if I can afford some extensive chemical peels. I hear that can get you very light, a lot of celebs do this

How old are you?

Why? What does it even matter

God will give you the one that is ment for you when you are ready.

I need for you to work on your self-esteem and self worth.

Guys can smell from a mile away an insecure woman and they run.

If you are secure about your looks and love yourself first they will be like moths to a flame

I am looking for status that being a lighter complexion brings in life. People associate more positive things with being of a lighter complexion. And I feel that my beauty has no value, no matter how pretty I am, I am dark, and with that I have no status or a value. Why do you think all of the most beautiful women in Hollywood are always light?

I am not trying to pit us against each other but lately I have been noticing since middle school how the black boys always gravitate towards the lightskin women. Now that it is summer where I live, it's gotten even worse. I notice when I get really dark from the climate being so hot, I don't get noticed as much until the climate gets warmer and I became a bit lighter even though I am still dark

My cousin and I have both suffered greatly from this in our life, we have even been put on medication because of this. Whenever our mixed cousins show up to the party, they take away all of the attention from us even though they are not particularly pretty. They get the better boyfriends and everything

I've been lurking this forum and read quite a few of the black men on here say lighterskin is more attractive and that is the reason why lightskin women get more attention. I was really floored by this as a darkskin woman

23 is my real age, and I live in the midwest.

oh, i understand now


so Trisha . . .  how exactly dod u get West African

Because they tell me I resemble ppl from West African countries(Ghana, Nigeria). And where I am from, there is not a large
east/South African population here. Most of the Africans who come to my state are from West Africa.

Please do. If u cant see the beauty in yourself, no one else will .

You're right. Thank you for understanding where I am coming from

It means you are a chronic liar.

You have no real basis for that accusation

I don't know anymore. I am dissapointed in the direction that this thread has taken

I am just going to work on myself and let the rest fall into place

Plz, make the person I quoted reply. opuro oshi

What does this mean?

Me, I don't care if she's ugly or pretty, the koko be, she's a liar.

She's comparing herself to GU of now, not the GU of then. GU of now is one of the beautiful women in US.

She's looked the same even before she was famous. She's never had any cosmetic surgery or anything

yeah, she was. She is the darkest person in her family, and was never considered the pretty one amongst her lighter complected cousins and other relatives. She even had a hard time dating but that was only because she went to a white school with a bunch of racist white boys

well why did Davidylan say this

its not to you but to most AAs, if you're not fair in complexion, with a fairly aquiline nose you're ugly period. the flat nose, coarse hair, dark features are what most AAs see as the "african look

I dont know. I just get from this forum that if someone tells you you look West African that means you look ugly. That is what Davidylan said. And you all are running with it

So what was it about AA men calling you a West African look alike that made you slice your wrist and have a poor image of yourself before you ever posted here

because of the negative perceptions tehy have of htem are not good

Did anywhere in that post did I say West Africans were ugly like Davidylan pointed out

By davidylan

i think they mean you look ugly.

its not to you but to most AAs, if you're not fair in complexion, with a fairly aquiline nose you're ugly period. the flat nose, coarse hair, dark features are what most AAs see as the "african look".[/