so far so good

doing well by myself so far

no yeye update from the B! so far

Thanks Obasijoy - I was vividly warned by memebers of my peer groups
About commiting myslf 6yrs ago into a relatnshp with this girl..
Well all d same, I just happened 2 find myslf back 2 square 1 - as I've asked dem
Why didn't dey bitch slap me back 2 reality wen dey noticed, I was takin her so seriously
They all seem 2 wash their hands away from both of us and @ one time - I almost became a laffin stock amongst my frnds fightin over a 1kobo girl who's roots I've known rite from her recharge card days till I got admission 4 her 2 when she managed 2 graduate flirtin in between even if I must suggest that d 2nd and 3rd year she seem 2 have her head down in d rlatnshp- well all d same Thank God 4 my life

@ busy body
Please kindly explain what u meant by its her loss
I don't want 2 recall d money, times, efforts, investment, sacrifices
And even disgrace I've either invested or gone thru in d hands of this girl- clearly I was @ loss here which is why I'm even confused on wat u meant by its her loss

@ ATMC
Bruv as we speak, I don't even knw myslf cos I don't tink I even love her anymore,
I'm a lover and not a fighter but I found myslf fightin over dis girl, I'm jst in my mid 20s and I stil av lots of years ahead of me and least I forget I'm nt in anyway claiming 2 b d all round perfect gentleman
Myslf and had both had our issues all round our relationshp - fights and all tins normal teens av durin their relatnshp bt I have always stuck by one tin and which was my relatnshp as I never joked with it - it meant so much 2be during those yrs cos I felt its always a gud tin knowin sum1 u wanna marry so early and yes maybe I wud av married her - I brushed aside so many chances and ladies in my life as a result of dis rlatnshp my NYSC yrs was completely wasted as I ensured she was with me tru out 2 stop any forms of fornication and heart break 2 her - she was d first persn dat knew I was gna leave d country and I never knew she didn't take it so well but she was quick 2 inform me dat she was goin 2 wait 4 me but just 4months away and she was in d hands of a new guy same finals with her which was last year

I'm a happy person today knowin fully well dat d fault never came frm me - I don't nid 2 go in2 hiding just cos my woman cheated on me while I was away - she's d one who can't stand anyone who knew wen we dated as she's feelin d heat and disgrace and resorts 2 hidin each time she's witin town (no wonder her family fled her away frm town) - so ATMC in regards 2 ur qustn I'm no saint and I dnt knw if she's a devil but I never wish dat girl well eida now or in her future endevours cos d pain she made me go tru - she wud reap in a 1000 folds - (u can blame me later) I'm not hurt just sayin tins as it is

Thanks obasijoy but i would be quick enough to brief a summary of what happened last year between
March to September

[size=28pt]PLEASE THIS IS AN OLD EVENT THAT HAS SINCE LED TO WE BREAKING UP[/size]


i left nigeria 3years ago and after leaving tried all i could to keep in touch with my woman (21 by that time) whom ive been dating for the past 5years, although we had issues then but i tried to remain positive on the relationship and wanted to serious see if she could stand the test of time, i cut down all financial aspects at my young age , I wanted to see what she had to offer and if she could wait for the one year duration, to cut all story short may this year reports started getting to me bout my woman dating a dude a 400level finals student like herself, i confronted her with this story and she denied it - i pressed on, she opened up that she had to give in to the pressure of the dude during a period when we had some misunderstanding and that he guy has only kissed her and helped her out financially but hasn't slept with her, My world came crashing before me, my 4year relationship was going down -

I had to run back to Nigeria and i indeed confirmed tins for myself, flooded in her fone were pics of this guy, she had locks on all her fone and was so phone concious the whole time, I gave her a ring which she accepted after some serious talks trying to make her remember the past we shared before i departed the shores of Nigeria, she agreed but the next day - I noticed the ring was no where to be found on her hands -i asked her and she claimed it was missing somewhere in her room, i ignored it knowing fully well that she might have kept it
and whenever I asked why, she said the feelings were not there and that "like you said, they would come back with time" although we still Were Intimate but it was terrible as her mind didnt seem to be in it

Fast forward to a week later we had issues again as a result of that same dude and in the midst of anger, demanded my ring back cos im very temperamental and she returned the ring, i was ready to break it off this time and head back to europe - her family intervened and got the info of the dude and asked him to leave the girl alone (so i was told) had a couple of words with her and then she wanted a meeting - which i acknowledged, she wanted space to work on ourselves so she claimed - she said she no longer felt love for me any more and that she had like 40% love for me - tears rolled down my eyes knowing im so emotional but she wasnt moved - i wished her all the best and we agreed to give ourselves the space, she claimed she could always call me - try to keep in touch etc but i made up my mind that the sooner i left nigeria, the better for me as im going to delete all contacts of her from my life.

Sorry its quite long but it sure would make me feel better typing this all out - 2days after she asked for the space, she got in touch with a friend of mine and told her she needed tins to work out and then proceeded in asking me that we should make things work, I would like to maintain that ive since cut off all financial aspects away from the relationship which she never complained about - My family went behind me and my father personally asked her himself that we do some sort of introductions before i leave the country back to cyprus and she turned the offer down saying she wasnt ready - My family whom she was so close to saw how depressed i was and knew exactly what was happening to me as i took to alcohol and they were amazingly shocked - they washed their hands away from this girl and everyone within my family circle hated her

This time she seem ready and was more back to her senses but then a problem happened, her birthday happened to be october 19th and on the 18th nite to the 19th morning - i asked her to spend the night at my place after much talking she agreed but then she did something which i noticed and frowned at cos she stays at her school hostel - before coming to spend the nite at mine, she bought a new sim and placed it in her fone leaving her real sim back in the another fone at her hostel - i believe her intention was to avoid calls from whoever she was expecting calls from to wish her a happy birthday wish - 12am that nite she was sleeping already, i got up and called her line it kept ringing but her phone right in my hand was mute then i knew something was up, i woke her up and complained why wont she drop this cheating habit of hers and she said she did it knowing my temper decided to avoid any issue that would cause us having an arguments

the next day 19th (her day) , she decided to read that nite for her upcoming exams which i agreed to because i value education so well - i was completely cool with it, then 20th afternoon - i saw a friend who asked me where was my girlfriend last nite and i was quick to defend her that she was reading the whole nite back in her hostel the guy laughed and asked me to ask her well where she was last night - then i knew i was in trouble again.

I approached her house and on getting there she wasnt in but her bag was in the living room, i angrily took the bag dropped it in my car and sped off waiting 4 her to call me so she cud tell me where exactly she was last nite, she didnt call. 6pm that evening the 20th october her mom rang me on my way there, i met a friend who confided in me that my girl did some birthday bash in a club that nite and that same boy whom her family has warned she stay away from was indeed there and after the birthday on their way to her hostel or where-ever got arrested by the police and locked up in prison, i thanked him for this info and went to see her mom on getting there - broke the news to the woman who apologized to me, reported her dad and he threatened to disown her after her entire family kept apologizing to me.

the 21st she came to meet me and went on her knees and confessed that it was a friends birthday bash after reading decided 2 go with some of her friends and met the guy coincidentally in the same club and by 11pm he was going to drop she and her friends off when they got arrested, she also confessed only kissing the guy and collecting money for up keep from him but never Were Intimate with him (Who cares) her father had a meeting with me a day before i travelled and it was agreed that December this year, i should come for some family introduction but my family are not in anyway ready for this because they hate this girl now so much cos of what shes done to me and the fact that she couldnt wait - they seem to have their own way of getting info about my girl from random sources close to her (all eyes fixed on us)

I met another young lady during my stay bout 2weeks (NOW CURRENT GIRLFRIEND WHOM I TALKED ABOUT EARLIER AND WHO'S CARELESS ABOUT HER OWN LIFE NOT TO MENTION RELATIONSHIP) before i left just to allow me get this girl off my head and my family immediately accepted her


I got talking with a friend of hers whom i happen to know through her and stays very close to her room in the same hostel and here was what the girl told me -
In quote " I know since ,she told people dat she loves d guy,dat d guy is caring,she said u always shout at her.when d boy called her, she said my boyfriend is calling me and i know becos she was wishing him sucess in his exam.a friend of mine stay close to d boys house and she told someone dat (my girl) do spend nite in d guys house.all her room mates and friends know about this."

I believe what this girl is saying but im blinded by love so is taking it all as lies, even if its true - theres notin i can do cos ive seen worst things from her



Looool well thats just past events but its just a summary of events that happened between us last year
I really dont care about her anymore, I have a strong notion that if you love something then you would fight for it and dont give up on it
I have seen young ladies wanting 2 commit suicide over issues of the heart and 2 be sincere, if the tables were turned - i think i wouldnt waste anytime apologizing especially as she knows she has wronged both me and my family

Obasijoy age has notin 2 do with what she did or why she has refused to apologize - till date she hasnt apologized either for her actions not even to me and i could so predict that she was not going to apologize 2 my family too and she proved me right, we are not in talking terms
as we speak, shes just an infrigment of some child's play which took place years ago to me, a shadow of my imagination as i careless what she does or think,

I dont even know if im in love with her again or not, Ive never been so strong enough to stand up to her and fought her off asking her to back off away from me, Neither do i care if she loves me or not, She always had her young lustful eyes on the streets even before i met her
at age 17 she has already dated as much as 4/5 boys and i did everything do-able just to make sure she stayed between the boundaries of the relationship, to be honest maybe i would have married her but that BIG TEST/Distance and everything crumbled!


Thank God for my FOUND STATUS anyways not having 2 care about anyone's feeding, clothing, or anything,
best decison ever is never to date a girl from a family who cant afford 3square meals
Going for some fucking vacation soon

Of all d 6 options listed

90% of Nigerian girls are associated with all 6 of them
Its inbred in their DNA

Thanks Madam chaircover - that's all I needed 2 hear from you
Should that girl ever cross my path again - please is there a special message you
Could please write out for me so I could send 2 her or is incase she calls shoild I just go directly with
D hanging up which some people have suggested

I'm prepared 2 do anytin nw 2kick her out - madamn cc please if there's any message
Which I could send 2her which wud make her flee or make her seat down and think about her life
Please share

Thank you Mr.brown Jay and MR. Okontami

I shall heed 2 your advices as I have indeed cut of all sorts of contact
Off that girl, I seriously hope she doesn't contact me anymore -

I sincerely don't think I can love again till I'm married as most relationships esp
Nigerian based are just coupled with headaches, I'm doin better each passing day and commiting myself
2 other motivational things in life, she has indeed taught me a lesson which I would never forget in a life time, this lesson shall indeed be told 2d kids of my kids as lessons -

Don't know why I choose 2learn d hard way commiting all my life, money, resources everyting in2 a relationship that crashed only 4months away from Nigeria - I certainly do not wish her well and she clearly knows this - its everyone 2 their tent, she seizes 2 exist in my world since we went apart, I have no regrets she's gone but what I can't understand is why she choose 2 wait this long 2strike and why are people just so unreasonably wicked -

She knows she has messed up and had 2 away 2 a south south state, coupled with her wayward friends - I really don't give a fu#ck - all I have in my head are fragments imagination of her, what she looks like,

Well Thank God 4my life - I only pity d man who wud marry such girl
Do such cheats ever fall in love

Not your fault

Thanks sisi-kii

And atmc - I understand what u meant, but I've really hardened myself
Towards emotions from women- how I managed 2b like dis is beyond me
I'm nt willing 2 fight 4 her anymore, I've given up totally on this love issue
Its not worth d pain it goes with
Dats my 2cent


@moremi- what я u talkin about,dat thread was clearly not for me - biko

Another decison I've made is never 2 date girls who's family can't afford 3 square meals

Loool @ it is either she is full of pride or too ashamed to face your family in the first place. She chose the easy way out.

That totally cracked me up - I was away for a year +
Now I see things from her point of view, I'm nt gna say she's gat pride cos she's nt from a proud family, I tink she jst choose nt 2 apologize 2dem cos she knew she cudnt stand them - eyah so sad and so bad-
Its well,

@denzel - if it were aids - I wud av bin typin frm a prison cell cos she wud av bin dead by nw

Ronkebp - I now totally understand what you mean..
And completely see things from your point of view especially
As she's fully aware of d damage she's done even in my absence,
Anyway what I expected was no matter what she should have still apologized
No harm in trying esp when she was once that family's favourite...
If she really cares about me den she wudnt av seen anytin wrong with apologizin,

@rockafella and dayokanu
Thanks 4 both advices but I'm serious fed up wit anytin relationship esp as d new gurl
In question isn't even showin any seriousness - well all d same, I need a vacation

@ronkebp - its not by force which is why she should leave me alone
Cos we clearly don't have any business been together...
I wish you knew how well she trampled upon d rites of my family just because
They choose 2b close 2her...

One question I wanna ask u ronke is - u have brothers and would you and your family
Smile at d fact that their women cheat on your brothers beyond reasonable doubts even before
Their faces and d clues where rite there-

Is that how carefree your family is . .

Thank you

Am I really over her

Thank you fellow forumites,
I am indeed greatful for all your advices, and I simply know what exactly 2 do
D NC / No contact from me has been on since January this year till I foolishly allowed
Her back into my head by just receiving that one call from her 2days ago -
I'm much better now and stronger, I'l avoid her call and don't respond 2 her sms
Even on my fast approachin birthday which I'm sure she wud try and strike again
Maybe via sms or calls, concerning my current rlatnshp she is just there and I feel she isn't even
Serious with her own life not 2mention me nor our relatnshp - she has proved that so many times
I have since found new motivation since I broke up wit my ex - money chasing as its since
Required a lot of time from me, I feel I can't give my best 2 any woman again and can't tolerate
Any pranks from them as I have met quite a few girls since my breakup but whenever they
Try acting up, I simply show them d door -

I'm totally fine now forumites, gone are th e days where I took t o drinkin and even tried smoking
As a result of this girl, she tinks she's in charge and control of my life and feelins but too bad
She clearly doesn't knw who I am anymore, Its 6months nw and I don't even know what she looks like anymore
I hardly even know what her voice sounds like, all I remember is we dated for 6yrs and there was someone
Like her once in my life, I had 2 resort t o a life of hate just 2 find myslf bin happy on my own

I believe I stil hate her and I certainly don't wish her well in life and hopes she dies off soonest
(Please don't blame me forumites) she has certainly caused me more pain and harm than good
She knows she can't stand my family and she takes 2 her heels anytime my surname is been mentioned - dats 2 show d gravity of what she has done 2 hurt nt just me but my family.

This used 2b a girl dat cooks 4 my father, and a girl dat my mom shops 4 even she goes 2 school
I'm totally fine now forumites, there was something someone told me - which I would repeat here and was
For every girl out of your life, u are a step closer 2 findin d lucky one
I'm starting not 2 regret leavin this girl as I'm startin 2 c it as my own Good- everyone really saw us as a couple and she messed up and before she ran away 2 port harcourt, she is virtually in hiding each time she's back in town, there is certainly no way we can ever bump into each other again as we are miles apart
And with what I've done over in a few days now especially telling her 2 kindly back off and stop calling me, I really wanna congratulate myslf,I knew she wud never NEVER agree 2 apologize 2 my mom which she clearly showed in her response and claimed 2 have called it quits rite from d first day it was over - looool how hilarious, women can be complicated and confused beings (no offence) 2 d one who knw what dey я doing in life but I thought she told someone she had a bf 2weeks into her arrival in PH and den she kept calling me. As in WTF - I think she tot d grass was greener on d other side but not knowin it was just a reflection of wat she imagined....oh well sorry for d sermom, I'm jst laffin @ my ex dis mornin, she's jst too young and confused and doesn't know what she wwants in life, b4 we broke up - I remember tellin her dat she wud never find sum1 who wud love her or a family dat wud accept her like my family did 2 her and she repeated dat I wud never see a girl dat wud do evrytin 4me like she did 4 me - ask me wat she did, cos she usually helped with some cookin and lil washin for me..lol - I'm a bachelor and since she left, I've bin cookin and doin everytin myslf


What a pathetic looser - punk

Thank u bur wat if she calls again - wat do I do
If she sends an sms - wat do I do

I'm nt thinkin abt her cos I have my head on sumtin important
But d issue nw is wenever d witch calls - it confuses me.
She said she won't call again and I've asked her stop -
Do u think she still would + its my bday in 2weeks I dnt knw if
She would capitalize on that 2 torment me again

Dats tru

Thank u

Okay - I have since stopped calling her, deleted her number but still have it off hand, also I haven't deleted her on facebook cos she's hardly there - 2 be sincere, I still care much about her but I now know she doesn't care about me too although she keeps saying she wishes me well and t o honest, I don't wish her well or any happiness because of what's she's done - why should th e wicked choose t o remain happy - I still don't know why some people have this inbuilt selfishness deep down In them -
I'm happy with my new stress free life, @least now I have 2 worry only about myself and myself alone - I can't be friends with her not under any condition not in this life nor d next - its everyone 2 their own path and tent


.F.uck it

Sad