₦airaland Forum

English please.....

teamv:
ba damoa

I'm 23 and he's 37. Is it a big age difference? I don't know much about benin men, should I worry about being used? (due to age difference)

I'm a christian and also urhobo. I sometimes pray in Urhobo or English. I've been studying the bible in more depth these days and also studying our traditional religions. I honestly believe that "God" and "Jesus" are just English versions of "Oghene" and "Oyise". Oghene is the one true God and Oyise his messenger. In the bible Jesus specifically says that no one comes to the father but through him and you cannot get to Oghene unless through Oyise, this is just me putting two and two together. My point is, I feel as though organized religion is fabricated and Africans in general need to just worship God as we always had. We are his people, we are the first people and modern day Christianity has been concocted from traditional religious practices. I believe in God no matter the name he is called but i think we need to stop acting as if our traditional religion is that much different than the Christianity that Europeans brought to us. If you're going to call me a heathen or whatever else please don't even respond, I'm finding the truth out for myself each day by the Grace of Oghene.

I actually never thought of it this way. Maybe separation is good for Nigeria long term.

ChinenyeN:
Immediate pro, respective regions would have to claim responsibility for their own downfall or success, rather than blaming FG.

Immediate con, respective regions will have to bear the responsibility of defending their own borders, since they can no longer depend on FG to mobilize and deploy the military when needed. The smaller regions will likely lack the manpower to pull this off and will end up either being absorbed or wiped out in conflict. Also, immediate con is short-term conflict and instability.

Long-term pro, homeostasis will likely be achieved sooner than some believe. The reconstitution of the entire region into a federation or multiple federations could lead to long-term wealth for all the regions involved.

Good answer!

ChinenyeN:
I see multiple questions in this thread, so I'll provide my opinion for each one...

Q1. How Does One Go About Learning Nsibidi?
Ans: You don't. Nsibidi is not taught anywhere, except for within any surviving leopard clubs. Even so, knowledge of precolonial Nsibidi has likely deteriorated so much, even within these clubs, that there is practically nothing left to teach (i.e. Nsibidi is, for all intents and purposes, dead)

Q2. Do you guys think this should be taught in schools?
Ans: As an extracurricular or an elective course, maybe. However, to begin with, general knowledge of Nsibidi itself is basically at the level of a faint memory. Beyond that, the system itself never developed enough to be useful to us in this modern day. I do not see any sense in teaching it as a core subject.

Q3. What do you think about the gov't implementing culture studies in schools?
Ans: I simply do not believe that the Nigerian government is up to the task. Would it be nice? Sure. Ultimately, it seems impossible. For now, the various cultures will have to bear separately their responsibility of implementing their own culture studies within their socio-cultural organizations (and I'm inclined to believe that all Nigerian cultures have at least one socio-cultural organization).

I understand Nigeria was constructed by the British but don't you think at this point it's futile to try and fight and divide? I think as Africans we're more than capable of living together peacefully. The north would surely suffer and would that not incite war between the north and south if Nigeria were to divide?

Also, do you guys think this should be taught in schools?

I feel as though as Nigerians we are losing what's left of our culture due to westernization. It makes me happy to learn and discover alot of these old cultural aspects many tribes had and It would be nice if the Nigerian Government would implement more ancient culture in schools and the society overall. I'm sure this is easier said than done but what do you guys think?

True... Thankyou

kilokeys:
Then u don't have a problem. Ur parents rebelled to be together most likely. So they'll understand if u do too

Uhm.... I can assure you he's a "real nigga" who respects me and everything I'm doing. Pardon me he's graduated and we live 10 minutes away from each other so it's not long distance anymore.

kilokeys:
When u get to 40 they ask u to bring anybody..


Dating in my house is not "spiritual".. But i broke the spell.
As cool and eligible as I may appear, I had my first gf at 27. I really tried to make it work, thinking I'll have to marry the first girl I date ( fallacious fantasy).

Right now, I am unto my second bae.. And i am very glad I did move on from the first.

U have a heart and a head, use them well.. Quit long distance and date some real nigga that has respect for ur choices when it comes to education, career, sex, spirituality and aspirations.

Thank me later

sauceTDA:
At 21 you don't know how to approach your parents even Davido wasn't this naive.

Why so rude? I suppose your parents are easy to talk to abi? My parents are NOT easy to approach. If they were I wouldn't be asking for advice ONLINE from people I don't know....

DikSin:
Summarize that Odu Ifa passage of yours and watch solid advice pour in

I presume you have no solid advice for me?

I'm a 21 year old female and I have a year left in college. I want to get married and have children by the time I'm 24 or 25. Apparently my parents do not expect me to be dating, yet they expect me to get married a few years after I graduate and get a job. I want to be able to know the guy for about 3 to 4 years before marriage but in order to do so I have to start dating now. My mom is confusing because she doesn't want me having a boyfriend but she already has a guy in mind that she prefers. She also doesn't want someone who is not Nigerian. It's apparent that my dad doesn't want me dating at all. I've been low key seeing an African american guy for 8 months. We hardly see each other because my parents would not be happy that I'm dating him. I love him and I see marriage potential in him so I have not broken up with him. He's already graduated college and has a job so there's no doubt he is able to take care of me when we get married. We have allot in common and we're both Christians which is a plus for me. I want to be free to date who I chose and I want to get married because I am in love with the person not because they are a Nigerian with allot of money. I believe that I should have a talk with my parents but I do not know how to approach them. Any advice? thanks.

MrsChima:
There are different layers of love. You can love someone but not be in love. He is not in love with you but I am sure he love you for being you. It is okay and it is not a big deal. Once you guys know each other more....the love will intensify if you guys are genuine and the foundation of your relationship is built on honesty. The love is not the culprit but if he is possessive and controlling then you need to be concerned . Don't be concerned about the man loving you...accept it and feed into it with prayer and understanding. Many women don't even get the blessing of love from a man....the real kind!

See...you just made me appreciate my husband even more cos that man loves me! Let me go kiss my baby!

One more thing...people including family didn't want me to marry my husband because he is Igbo. NO OTHER REASONS and I followed my heart and mind...we are still strong approaching a decade!

Don't let anyone dictate your happiness even your family. Family supports each other even when they don't like the decisions. You can get a man that your mother approved but ends up being the end of your life. Do you and trust God.

Good luck!

Thankyou so much

waiting till marriage is usually the best option, no regrets that way

YabaLeftist:
Grab a dictionary.

Lol gee thanks smh.

all4naija:
What is the matter?! Keep nagging on Nairaland and I think your boyfriend is probably reading your rude posts. Don't cry lady, I am not gonna hurt you again. Bwahaha...

God help you.

SkinnyDude:
is he a thug?

Not even close..

all4naija:
You are being petulant, lady! No guy admires an impudent person likewise a girl. I think that dude should be wary of you after getting to know you better. You sound like a modern 'feminist by heart' like Mandu94

All the words you've used to describe me is exactly what you've described yourself as evidence by your previous rude and ungentlemanly comments. No woman admires a rude and dismissive man. And since when is there anything wrong with being a feminist, the whole point of feminism was to grant women the rights and fair treatment that they were not being given in the first place. Granted some take it to another level but I wont be demonized because I believe I should be treated fairly. You came to me with insults and now you want to tell me that I'm the one being impudent and petulant, get a clue and get over yourself troll.

micktoxin:
You seem unwilling to acknowledge your mistake (which is the issue). I doubt you were raised in USA. Otherwise, your ignorant jungle village blood must be soo strong.

I acknowledged my mistake a long time ago, specifically by changing the name of the thread. I was raised in the USA at a very young age. Keep your unnecessary insults to yourself I don't deserve such foul and discourteous words, be a gentleman and show some netiquette.

all4naija:
She will make a nagging mum!I feel sorry for the dude.

You're not God, go and predict somewhere else.

micktoxin:
Do you mind if I address you by Nigga?!! Hence you see it appropriate to call someone that (Don't know the meaning), then I get you should be okay with it.
Anyways, if all those things are true, it's a no brained really. Your parents won't live with you, but equally it is important to know if he has any family values. Be True to thy self. Are you sure you have no reservations for this guy?

I don't use that word because I understand the cultural context of it, I'm not going backwards, it's already been addressed. As for the guy, I don't have any reservations for him, he has shown me nothing to be concerned about and I'm going to continue getting to know him.

all4naija:
Why should I, Dixie? I can see Dixie in your nature

Your feelings about me holds no value, you're words on a screen.

all4naija:
Why don't you ask your parents if they'd like you to date a forest villager from Africa?

Why don't you go meddle on another post

all4naija:
The reason is that you see a very ambitious guy who is interested in you and your well being yet ask for advice on a forum about it. You need to be with a forest villager to understand the mistake in your posts.

Ah I figured that was your attempt at insulting me, maybe you should open your eyes and read my post, I am very much interested in this guy and my parents are seriously opposed, I don't have support nor am I getting any advice from my family why not come to a forum where there are people who are going to understand what I'm going through, you're in no position to fault me because of that. Either way I'm not letting this one go so easily, it's just going to be difficult to convince my parents.

all4naija:
You should be because it will be for your best interest. I am not angry only frowning. Ironically, you seem to look like somebody who is attracted to forest village guys. I think that is funny!

And what brought you to this conclusion?

LewisO:
[color=teal] Just wanna let u know it's very wrong to have address him that way. [/color]

Apparently so.

all4naija:
Why not? You asked for advise though.

And I wont be considering this one, and why are you so angry?

Doortun:
Make your parents see the reason why they should give you the chance giving his background, academics and how serious he is.

Your parents are still a lil bit cultural and that's expected for most African parents. But really, you need no one's approval to date someone you like, I am not saying you should rebel against your parent.

Get closer, give him chance and get to know him better. Hopefully he won't turn out to be an arse before the relationship reaches puberty stage and when things get serious and marriage discussion sets in then you should start worrying about parents approval.

Thankyou for your sound advice, I don't want to stop seeing him and I believe he's worth dating.

all4naija:
I say don't marry him. Look for a primitive Nigerian from forest to do that with.

I will not.

Chiam55:
So you open this thread to ask us if you should date him? Ok yes go and date him. I think he deserves a woman from a family who don't think he is bellow them. He sounds like a good catch. Igave you my oopinion if you took offence then it's yours to take.

Well i'm not offended and thankyou for your advice.

Teempakguy:
sexual and moral perversions in your kids.
also, i think your parents want a nigerian wedding for you.

Yes they do, but I don't have to marry a Nigerian to have that

Teempakguy:
do you realize what you just did? you just insulted nigerian culture on a nigerian forum. i'll let the basher's handle that.
and yes i'm saying you should totally marry a nigerian. but you won't listen. #fact.

I guess you dont understand that phrase, because there was no insult I was agreeing with the fact that Nigerian culture is awesome, why would I say otherwise, calm down and I heard you