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Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? - Romance (2) - Nairaland

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Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:25am On Apr 21, 2015
Teempakguy:
what does akata mean?:/

anyway, i suggest you get your parents to like him or at least acknowledge him. wait . . . are you white yourself?

No.... I'm Nigerian, raised in America.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by LewisO: 2:25am On Apr 21, 2015
Since he's AKATA why do wanna be in a relationship with him? undecided

1 Like

Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by tpiadotcom: 2:27am On Apr 21, 2015
TobiBabiOO:


Can you please let me know what your "Oh geez" means??

means heavy duty.



and I'm studying to become a Nurse Anesthetist

ok, i guess he's attracted to high achievers then.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:32am On Apr 21, 2015
tpiadotcom:


what are his reason/s for wanting to date you?

what's his marital status?

any kids/baby mamas?


what's your own marital status?

any kids?




these are probably some of the reasons why your parents arent enthusiastic



His reasons (His words)
1. I'm beautiful
2. I'm intelligent
3. I'm easy to talk to
4. I understand him
5. We have allot in common
6. I'm caring
7. I know what I want in a man
8. I always know what to say
9. He cares allot about me
10. He doesn't want to lose me
11. He loves me
we're both in our early 20s, no babies, never married, not attachments.

My parents are not enthusiastic simply because he's not Nigerian, that is the only reason I ever received. He's christian, he has a future, we're around the same age, he has good morals, strong family values, he's respectful, he treats me nice, none of these reasons are enough for them.

1 Like

Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 2:33am On Apr 21, 2015
[quote
author=TobiBabiOO post=32939557]

His father was in the air force for many years and is now a correctional
officer, his mother works for homeland security. His sister is a
psychologist. He wants to be a counseling psychologist, he'll be
graduating in December, and will do his masters shortly after than. He
has no tattoos or piercings, he doesn't sag. He's very clean cut and a
gentleman. [/quote]just quote the above verbatim to your parents. meanwhile . . . i think they're concerned that introducing non nigerian genes into their bloodline might lead to undesirable traits.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:33am On Apr 21, 2015
Doortun:


My initial concern was poor family orientation and up-bringing. African Americans with sense of direction are rare to find. You have one right on your feet so what are you waiting for? Enjoy before he grows wings and fly away and be a good Ambassador to other Nigerian ladies.


That's what I want to do but then I would be retaliating against them and bringing shame right? That's what it seems like I would be doing...
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:35am On Apr 21, 2015
Teempakguy:
just quote the above verbatim to your parents. meanwhile . . . i think they're concerned that introducing non nigerian genes into their bloodline might lead to undesirable traits.

But I have said these things undecided Undesirable traits, lol what, how ?? shocked
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:36am On Apr 21, 2015
LewisO:
Since he's AKATA why do wanna be in a relationship with him? undecided

I don't understand you.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by tpiadotcom: 2:40am On Apr 21, 2015
TobiBabiOO:


I don't understand you.

what people mean is you should change your thread title to read "African American" or AA.

You could also say "Should I date my AA boyfriend or not?"

something like that.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by tpiadotcom: 2:41am On Apr 21, 2015
TobiBabiOO:


My parents are not enthusiastic simply because he's not Nigerian, that is the only reason I ever received. He's christian, he has a future, we're around the same age, he has good morals, strong family values, he's respectful, he treats me nice, none of these reasons are enough for them.




yes, a lot of nigerian parents want their female kids to marry nigerians.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:41am On Apr 21, 2015
tpiadotcom:


what people mean is you should change your thread title to read "African American" or AA.

You could also say "Should I date my AA boyfriend or not?"

something like that.

Okay, I changed it.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:45am On Apr 21, 2015
tpiadotcom:



yes, a lot of nigerian parents want their female kids to marry nigerians.

Yes, I figured it had something to do with the fact that I'm a woman, men always have it easier when it comes to things like this... I was dating a Muslim who I really liked but my parents (ESPECIALLY my father who HATES the idea of marrying a muslim) didn't want me to convert and i was getting pressure from the other side to convert. If I was a man I would be able to date whoever I wanted, that's my rational on all this.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 2:47am On Apr 21, 2015
tpiadotcom:


means heavy duty.





ok, i guess he's attracted to high achievers then.

Yes, he said so himself, I know he wont be making as much money as me but I know that he'll be making a good salary enough to support a family, which is all I ask, money is not everything.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by tpiadotcom: 2:48am On Apr 21, 2015
TobiBabiOO:


Okay, I changed it.

cool.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by tpiadotcom: 2:51am On Apr 21, 2015
TobiBabiOO:


Yes, I figured it had something to do with the fact that I'm a woman, men always have it easier when it comes to things like this... I was dating a Muslim who I really liked but my parents (ESPECIALLY my father who HATES the idea of marrying a muslim) didn't want me to convert and i was getting pressure from the other side to convert. If I was a man I would be able to date whoever I wanted, that's my rational on all this.


seems you prefer dating outside your comfort zone, although being asked to convert as a condition for marriage is indeed a bit worrisome,
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 2:53am On Apr 21, 2015
TobiBabiOO:


But I have said these things undecided Undesirable traits, lol what, how ?? shocked
sexual and moral perversions in your kids.
also, i think your parents want a nigerian wedding for you.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by popweezy(m): 2:56am On Apr 21, 2015
TobiBabiOO:




His reasons (His words)
1. I'm beautiful
2. I'm intelligent
3. I'm easy to talk to
4. I understand him
5. We have allot in common
6. I'm caring
7. I know what I want in a man
8. I always know what to say
9. He cares allot about me
10. He doesn't want to lose me
11. He loves me
we're both in our early 20s, no babies, never married, not attachments.

My parents are not enthusiastic simply because he's not Nigerian, that is the only reason I ever received. He's christian, he has a future, we're around the same age, he has good morals, strong family values, he's respectful, he treats me nice, none of these reasons are enough for them.



oh lord,and u're still thinking if u should leave him or continue? Ladies aint contempted since the birth of pharaoh
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 3:00am On Apr 21, 2015
It doesn't sound like you love this man. I think you should finish your studies and respect your parents. Not once have you spoke about how much you love him. I think you are not ready for this as far as marriag. If you want to date him then date him but marriage I think you're thinking about marriage too soon.

HEdeserves someone that love's him as much as he loves you. He can do better. Imo.

1 Like

Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 3:02am On Apr 21, 2015
[quote
author=TobiBabiOO post=32939752]

Yes, I figured it had something to do with the fact that I'm a woman,
men always have it easier when it comes to things like this... I was
dating a Muslim who I really liked but my parents (ESPECIALLY my father
who HATES the idea of marrying a muslim) didn't want me to convert and i
was getting pressure from the other side to convert. If I was a man I
would be able to date whoever I wanted, that's my rational on all this.
[/quote]wow, you're funny. you think your parents would allow you to marry a muslim if you were a guy? no bloody way.
also, nigerian culture is awesome. nobody wants their children out of such.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 3:03am On Apr 21, 2015
tpiadotcom:



seems you prefer dating outside your comfort zone, although being asked to convert as a condition for marriage is indeed a bit worrisome,

Yes, He told me I'd have to convert to Islam, and I'm not doing that, so we stopped talking a few months ago.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 3:11am On Apr 21, 2015
Chiam55:
It doesn't sound like you love this man. I think you should finish your studies and respect your parents. Not once have you spoke about how much you love him. I think you are not ready for this as far as marriag. If you want to date him then date him but marriage I think you're thinking about marriage too soon.

HEdeserves someone that love's him as much as he loves you. He can do better. Imo.

We've been talking for 2 months, to me that's too soon to be confessing love but I respect how he feels. I'm not one to use that word so loosely because I dont want to say it and not mean it. I'm practical, he meets all the characteristics I want in a man and we get along very well so I want to date him, the decision for marriage will come later if it's meant to be but how am I supposed to get there if I do not have the support of my parents in dating who I chose??... saying he can do better hurts my feelings because I know I'm a good catch and so does he.

1 Like

Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 3:15am On Apr 21, 2015
Teempakguy:
wow, you're funny. you think your parents would allow you to marry a muslim if you were a guy? no bloody way.
also, nigerian culture is awesome. nobody wants their children out of such.

My words are true regardless of what you think, and no shit Nigerian culture is awesome, so what you're saying is I should disregard my feelings and date a Nigerian yes?
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 3:18am On Apr 21, 2015
TobiBabiOO:


We've been talking for 2 months, to me that's too soon to be confessing love but I respect how he feels. I'm not one to use that word so loosely because I dont want to say it and not mean it. I'm practical, he meets all the characteristics I want in a man and we get along very well so I want to date him, the decision for marriage will come later if it's meant to be... saying he can do better hurts my feelings because I know I'm a good catch and so does he.

So you open this thread to ask us if you should date him? Ok yes go and date him. I think he deserves a woman from a family who don't think he is bellow them. He sounds like a good catch. Igave you my oopinion if you took offence then it's yours to take.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 3:20am On Apr 21, 2015
[quote
author=TobiBabiOO post=32939919]

My words are true regardless of what you think, and no shit Nigerian
culture is awesome, so what you're saying is I should disregard my
feelings and date a Nigerian yes?[/quote]do you realize what you just did? you just insulted nigerian culture on a nigerian forum. i'll let the basher's handle that.
and yes i'm saying you should totally marry a nigerian. but you won't listen. #fact.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 3:31am On Apr 21, 2015
Teempakguy:
do you realize what you just did? you just insulted nigerian culture on a nigerian forum. i'll let the basher's handle that.
and yes i'm saying you should totally marry a nigerian. but you won't listen. #fact.

I guess you dont understand that phrase, because there was no insult I was agreeing with the fact that Nigerian culture is awesome, why would I say otherwise, calm down and I heard you

1 Like

Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 3:32am On Apr 21, 2015
Teempakguy:

sexual and moral perversions in your kids.
also, i think your parents want a nigerian wedding for you.

Yes they do, but I don't have to marry a Nigerian to have that
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 3:33am On Apr 21, 2015
Chiam55:


So you open this thread to ask us if you should date him? Ok yes go and date him. I think he deserves a woman from a family who don't think he is bellow them. He sounds like a good catch. Igave you my oopinion if you took offence then it's yours to take.


Well i'm not offended and thankyou for your advice.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 3:46am On Apr 21, 2015
TobiBabiOO:


I guess you dont understand that phrase, because there was no insult I was agreeing with the fact that Nigerian culture is awesome, why would I say otherwise, calm down and I heard you
hey! Then you should have used your punctuation marks well!
As i was saying, i'm biased because i'm in nigeria. I would want you to go for a nigerian. But this guy havs impressive qualities. I suggest you set him up with your parents.

1 Like

Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by LewisO: 3:54am On Apr 21, 2015
TobiBabiOO:


I don't understand you.
Just wanna let u know it's very wrong to have address him that way.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Nobody: 3:54am On Apr 21, 2015
I say don't marry him. Look for a primitive Nigerian from forest to do that with. angry angry angry

1 Like

Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by TobiBabiOO(f): 4:02am On Apr 21, 2015
all4naija:
I say don't marry him. Look for a primitive Nigerian from forest to do that with. angry angry angry

I will not.
Re: Should I Date This Black American Guy Or Leave Him Alone???? by Doortun(m): 4:06am On Apr 21, 2015
TobiBabiOO:



That's what I want to do but then I would be retaliating against them and bringing shame right? That's what it seems like I would be doing...

Make your parents see the reason why they should give you the chance giving his background, academics and how serious he is.

Your parents are still a lil bit cultural and that's expected for most African parents. But really, you need no one's approval to date someone you like, I am not saying you should rebel against your parent.

Get closer, give him chance and get to know him better. Hopefully he won't turn out to be an arse before the relationship reaches puberty stage and when things get serious and marriage discussion sets in then you should start worrying about parents approval.

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