₦airaland Forum

Teempakguy:
wow, you're funny. you think your parents would allow you to marry a muslim if you were a guy? no bloody way.
also, nigerian culture is awesome. nobody wants their children out of such.

My words are true regardless of what you think, and no shit Nigerian culture is awesome, so what you're saying is I should disregard my feelings and date a Nigerian yes?

Chiam55:
It doesn't sound like you love this man. I think you should finish your studies and respect your parents. Not once have you spoke about how much you love him. I think you are not ready for this as far as marriag. If you want to date him then date him but marriage I think you're thinking about marriage too soon.

HEdeserves someone that love's him as much as he loves you. He can do better. Imo.

We've been talking for 2 months, to me that's too soon to be confessing love but I respect how he feels. I'm not one to use that word so loosely because I dont want to say it and not mean it. I'm practical, he meets all the characteristics I want in a man and we get along very well so I want to date him, the decision for marriage will come later if it's meant to be but how am I supposed to get there if I do not have the support of my parents in dating who I chose??... saying he can do better hurts my feelings because I know I'm a good catch and so does he.

tpiadotcom:
seems you prefer dating outside your comfort zone, although being asked to convert as a condition for marriage is indeed a bit worrisome,

Yes, He told me I'd have to convert to Islam, and I'm not doing that, so we stopped talking a few months ago.

tpiadotcom:
means heavy duty.





ok, i guess he's attracted to high achievers then.

Yes, he said so himself, I know he wont be making as much money as me but I know that he'll be making a good salary enough to support a family, which is all I ask, money is not everything.

tpiadotcom:
yes, a lot of nigerian parents want their female kids to marry nigerians.

Yes, I figured it had something to do with the fact that I'm a woman, men always have it easier when it comes to things like this... I was dating a Muslim who I really liked but my parents (ESPECIALLY my father who HATES the idea of marrying a muslim) didn't want me to convert and i was getting pressure from the other side to convert. If I was a man I would be able to date whoever I wanted, that's my rational on all this.

tpiadotcom:
what people mean is you should change your thread title to read "African American" or AA.

You could also say "Should I date my AA boyfriend or not?"

something like that.

Okay, I changed it.

LewisO:
[color=teal] Since he's AKATA why do wanna be in a relationship with him? [/color]

I don't understand you.

Teempakguy:
just quote the above verbatim to your parents. meanwhile . . . i think they're concerned that introducing non nigerian genes into their bloodline might lead to undesirable traits.

But I have said these things Undesirable traits, lol what, how ??

Doortun:
My initial concern was poor family orientation and up-bringing. African Americans with sense of direction are rare to find. You have one right on your feet so what are you waiting for? Enjoy before he grows wings and fly away and be a good Ambassador to other Nigerian ladies.

That's what I want to do but then I would be retaliating against them and bringing shame right? That's what it seems like I would be doing...

tpiadotcom:
what are his reason/s for wanting to date you?

what's his marital status?

any kids/baby mamas?


what's your own marital status?

any kids?




these are probably some of the reasons why your parents arent enthusiastic

His reasons (His words)
1. I'm beautiful
2. I'm intelligent
3. I'm easy to talk to
4. I understand him
5. We have allot in common
6. I'm caring
7. I know what I want in a man
8. I always know what to say
9. He cares allot about me
10. He doesn't want to lose me
11. He loves me
we're both in our early 20s, no babies, never married, not attachments.

My parents are not enthusiastic simply because he's not Nigerian, that is the only reason I ever received. He's christian, he has a future, we're around the same age, he has good morals, strong family values, he's respectful, he treats me nice, none of these reasons are enough for them.

Teempakguy:
what does akata mean?:/

anyway, i suggest you get your parents to like him or at least acknowledge him. wait . . . are you white yourself?

No.... I'm Nigerian, raised in America.

tpiadotcom:
oh geez.

what's your own field?

Can you please let me know what your "Oh geez" means?? and I'm studying to become a Nurse Anesthetist

tpiadotcom:
take him to nigeria and see if he's still interested after that.


not set in stone though.

alternatively, take him to nigerian functions and see if he copes.

Okay, thankyou

ronald4lif:
The context to which it's used is irrelevant. Akata is inappropriate and that's for a fact. How are they perceived and regarded in the U.S? Blacks are referred to as negros as well so how does that sound to you? Can there ever be a good context referring to someone as a negro.

That everybody around you refers to blacks as Akata is another baseless ground to tag an acquaintant with same brush.

This is a Nigerian forum. We would have understood "black guy" better than Akata.

Thankyou for the lecture and your passion, but I asked this question for advice on what to do about my situation not to be attacked and made to feel even worse than I already do now simply because I used a word that I hear every time Black Americans are brought up, good day.

Doortun:
From the description above he appears to be someone with direction in life.However, I have few questions.

What is his family dynamics? Single mom raised or stepfather raised?

Does he have any thug-like attitude like piercing, tattoo and sagging?

His father was in the air force for many years and is now a correctional officer, his mother works for homeland security. His sister is a psychologist. He wants to be a counseling psychologist, he'll be graduating in December, and will do his masters shortly after than. He has no tattoos or piercings, he doesn't sag. He's very clean cut and a gentleman.

Ipledge:
At op,Please which city is ur akata from...

He's from Texas, USA

kinibigdeal:
And you call him "akata"

Oh lord, forgive me for using the word okay.... I just want some good advice now because nobody in my family wants to hear me, can I get a break somewhere?

ronald4lif:
Don't mind her, she can't address someone she intends to have a relationship with properly. So much for love. Akata ko apapa ni.

You're very aggressive.

ronald4lif:
And you had to use the "Akata" slang to describe him? How does that even sound.

That blacks are referred to as Akata in the States doesn't mean one should call someone she claims to love such a demeaning name. I couldn't read this story coz of that blunder. Learn to address people you hold dear appropriately.

I don't see it as demeaning unless it's used in a negative context, that's how everybody around me refers to them and I assumed not everyone here would understand me unless I used the word. Do not attack me for doing what I know, it's not nice.

I've been talking to this Black American guy for about 2 months now and we have allot in common, he's funny I really like him and he seems very serious about dating and getting married. He's been there for me when I had a death in my family, we talk everyday and we've talked almost 12 hours a couple of times. He's really sweet, I do feel I can tell him anything and not be afraid of judgment, so all in all I do see potential in him. My mother HATES the idea and she will have no part in it. I understand her reasons, she feels she will lose me if i marry out of our culture but I don't think that is fair or reasonable. The guy has developed strong feelings for me over a short period of time which I did express concerns over but I do believe that they are genuine, he said he wouldn't let me go so easily and has even considering moving closer to home for his masters so he can be closer to me. I just want the freedom to be happy with who I choose to be with not because I want to please my parents, I don't want to disappoint them but I also don't want my parents telling me who to be with. We've met in person he drove a few hours to come see me during spring break we spent an entire day together, we will also be attending summer classes at the same community college so this entire summer we should be able to get to know each other more. This situation is stressing me out and is completely unfair I understand Naija culture being raised in a Nigerian household but spending most of my life here in America has made me more open minded and I wish my parents would feel the same way. I don't want to disappoint or bring shame to my family but I dont want to jeopardize my happiness because of it, Advice??

Define virgin

SEGAD:
. I prefer to vote for ruling with iron fist than no fist

I pray for the sake of Nigeria then

June 23 here

This is nonsense when will Nigeria change for the better?? and who in their right mind voted for that Muhammadu Buhari dude, boko haram will rule with an iron fist if he gets in office...

na pressure oooo all d corrupt bastards in office will kill him if he no take time and please dem!!!! naija politics na wao

I would like to add All those including Nigeria are Countries, and Nigeria is doing it's best right now, give your country some credit, I pray Jonotha sticks to his name, Good luck [i][/i][size=8pt][/size]
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DIS ONE NA JU JU OOOOO!!!!!!!