₦airaland Forum

Good day Nairalanders.

Yesterday made it exactly 3 months since my ex broke up with me. But the good thing is that I'm taking my time to build and discover all my hidden potentials.

Also,I've decided not to chase women any longer. Instead of channelling my time on that, I've thought of putting it into something's else; something that'll definitely be helpful to my life in general.

Several times I've sat aloof,and thought about what I even gained in the whole relationship,but unfortunately I couldn't come up with a single thing of importance. So, therefore,I've decided to finally leave relationships for those who have the big hearts to accumulate all the troubles that comes with it.

My greatest joy is that I didn't lose my life all the time we were together. Now, I'm getting better and have equally wiser.

Lastly,the sweetest lesson my immediate past relationship taught me was that,no matter what,never place any other person's needs above yours. Because when you, you'll definitely be left hurt when they finally get rid of you. And also, being a kind-hearted man doesn't equate to the fact that you'll be treated the same way. So , therefore,my fellow men, always stay guided.🙏

Nairalanders, specifically the guys,what lesson did you learn from your past relationships that helped in shaping you into who and what you are now? Please share so that others can learn from them.

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Host78:
A hungry girl is not and will never be capable of loving you. Believe this bro.

A 27 or 30 year old girl, most times, have been dating since the age of 12 or 15. That's almost 15-20 years of dating experience.

Imagine you have been doing the same thing for 15-20 years, you become so good at it, it becomes second nature.

But more importantly, it just doesn't impress you anymore. If you have been driving cars for 15-20 years, e no go "shark" you like the first time.

That's the position these women are in. Nothing you say or do is new to them under the sun.

Like for instance, What's something new do you think she hasn't seen in the dating pool? What kind of love language do you think she hasn't heard before? What kind of love has she not proffessed to another man before you?

Is it fvck? What kind of style has she not seen before in the bedroom?

My brother, the real issue is you're trying to make a retired player feel impressed with your dribbling skills.

It's like a child running to his father trying to impress the father by reciting ABCD. The father will 'act' impressed to keep the child happy but internally, the ABCD is nothing and he has seen all those things countless times.

My geography teacher in secondary school once said there's literally nothing you can write in my exam that will impress me, especially those of you that like to write long essays.

"I know more than you do, so writing those long essays will only take my time, just write the essential points"

This is the 30 year old woman you're trying to love. Love means nothing to her. She has given her heart several times to several men.

She don chop love tire. She don hear countless 'sweet things' for her ears.

So, each time you come go to her, telling her sweet things, doing romantic stuff, she has seen it long before.

Yes, she'll 'act' surprised and impressed like she had done countless times but at the core, in her heart of heart, those things mean nothing to her.

So if she must 'act' submissive (she's no longer capable of being submissive), it means you must be offering her what she cannot get by herself anymore: money.

So if you find a 30 year old woman acting submissive and pleasing her man, trust me there are two things involved, one she was desperate to survive (nothing is working well for her) or the man is spending.

Both of which involves the man having money.

. Thanks alot bro for taking your time to hit the nail on the head.

Jman06:
You have made the right decision by resolving to go for girls of 18-23yo. That age bracket is the best to marry because aside that their fertility is topnotch, they'll develop further in your house with little to no tendency of getting corrupted by the older unmarried women.

Older ladies usually think that they know it all and will be there rejecting suitors for flimsy reasons. At such older ages, they are usually very confused and find it hard to make the decision to accept suitors. Having dated multiple guys at such ages with numerous body counts, they are usually confused about which of the numerous boyfriends to accept for marriage.

Marriage is not for the "I too know" people and that is why it is better for ladies to marry young because as they age, they become too "wise" and picky and that is one reason men run away from such older ladies.

. Abi oh. After touring around ladies of 30yo +,I now believe it'd be a suicide mission for any young man to be thinking of settling down with them.

Goo0dHardDick:
She told you she has 4 body counts and you believed? Lol

A woman of 31 has approximately 65 body counts, excluding other men who she knacked for fun and konji. Adding those ones will make it 87

. I believe you 🤔

favour32:
Your aga is not known.
18_23 is suitable if you have enough resources.
If not,you will dating a child.
I bet you,you go correct tire.

. It'll be more preferable for me to be correcting her than to settle down with the one that will never heed to correction simply because she feels our age different isn't much.

Besides,I'm 32yo.

Good dey everyone here.

It's me again, . The young man whose fiancee just broke up with without any reasonable reason

But now,I've gone into the dating pool fully again and my observations of ladies of nowadays is sometimes I'd really like to discuss here,with you my brethren.

First and foremost,I must really say that relationship in Nigeria has become transactional and it seems ladies now go into relationship with the mentality of being fed and taken of.

Recently,after my first date with the 27years old lady ended abruptly and chaotic,I decided to go for an older one.

The new lady I met,a lady in her early 30s, precisely 31 years old was nothing to write home about . Imagine a lady at that age bracket having the mentality that --"men are everywhere" that she doesn't have to respect me simply because I'm in a relationship with her. She's rude and ill mannered. The worst part of it all was that she was into idol worshipping and not only her,but her entire family

Though I had almost fallen in love with her but whenever I remembered how my previous relationship ended badly,I had to clean my slippers and ran for my dear life.

Funny thing is that,how can a lady of her age with more than 4 body counts still have that mentality that "men are everywhere",when in reality no man would want to end up with a woman of that age who has bad character

Finally, I've made up my mind. And for now, I'll only be considering 18-23 years old girls. I won't mind if I spend my money on her after all she's still a baby who will someday outgrow her childish behaviors. Unlike the ones who have crossed the bridge of their prime.

So,my fellow Nairalanders,what do you guys have to say to me, about the age of the ladies I'm considering? Hope I'm not about to make a wrong decision?

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Bullman:
Brother let me give you an advice.
Seems you are doing well for yourself
The next work leave you get, go to benin republic Togo or Cameroon(more preferable they speak English).. they have very very cheap hotels decent guest in for about 5000 naira or even less for a day.
Enjoy the ambience of the country. Meet their women , oga if you don't find your missing rib in any of dis African country ? Calculate all you spent with proof and I will refund you your money for wasting your time..
My wife is from Guinea Bissau , she's highly educated, and she worship the ground that I walk on.. I provide for her and she appreciates every single dalasi I give to her.
She doesn't nag.
Shes family oriented.
Her family treat me like a biological son without me trying to impress them.
Nigerian women will stain your white with their entitlement mentality.
There are still some good ones left , but they don't come in the type of body that you want.
I wish you good luck my guy

. THANKS BRO🙏. I really appreciate.

TONYE001:
I'm so happy I got married 12 years ago.

Scary to imagine still being in the dating pool by this time.

God forbid.

In 2011 of so, while dating my wife, when I bought her a Samsung mini laptop (N75,000.00), she refused to accept it. In fact, we had an issue over it. She was angry that I got her something that costly.

When she finally accepted it (the next day), she went straight to her mum to show her. Her mum rang me, asking me how I got the money to buy such an expensive item for her.

. You were lucky then bro. These days,if you like,buy a mansion for any woman you're dating, she'll still be inappropriative and be behaving as if she's entitled to it since you're dating her.

kiddaz:
No one ticks all the boxes, that na childish fantasy. Know yourself first as a man and build yourself, not just material but in every aspect. If you like get money wey long make you no get sense or self respect you will always see rubbish in their hands and will always be used. The same girl when dey do you like trash dey crawl for another guy when fit no even get half of wetin you get. Know yourself

. Thank you very much bro.

OlaOfLagos:
Hahahahahahaha

Just thank your creator, you just dodge a bull£t

Exactly the same thing my elder bro told me. Anyways thank you bro.

Stephen0mozzy:
Dear Single Men, if you meet someone from a referral or online, and the first time you guys are having a conversation is on phone, make sure, make sure, make sure that there is some vibes from the conversation before you schedule physical date.

If e nor day when they still have a fantasy of you in their head, e nor go still dey if they meet you in person.

If you force a date with an uninterested female, and she comes she immediately assumes that you owe her compensation for her time.

Good thing I have a beautiful and great babe, mehn, me for just end up doing surrogacy for a child. I too get pride to tolerate rubbish. 🤧

. You're lucky bro, to have found a responsible woman. These days,it's almost becoming more or less like a Herculean task to find a woman who's responsible to tick all the boxes of a healthy relationship.

Traay:
most people dating girls these days are pressing serious funds to sustain that relationship.
those that can’t press funds are going through hell in their relationship, if you think i’m lying ask any of your friend that’s seriously committed.

ever since late buhari spoilt these country, nigerian girls entered survival mode.
the worst are those cooperate ladies. they bill without conscience.

You're so right my brother. The thing jux tire me. But how guyman wan take see wife marry now?

Good evening everyone.

Lately, so I decided it was high time I tried my luck with other ladies since my fiancee broke up with me. I must really confess, it has been hectic after meeting a couple of single ladies.

The first lady, a lady of 27 years was the first one I encountered and she was introduced to me by my cousin. M After texting and chatting on Whatsapp for a week, we decided to finally meet. We booked a date and I paid for her transport. On the day of our date, I noticed she wasn't paying attention to everything I was saying and that really killed the vibes I was expecting from our first date. Funny and awkward thing was that she didn't even spend more than 20 minutes on the date and I was the only one asking all the questions. After she left, I only called her to make sure she got home safely and afterward, I didn't bother to call or text her because that wasn't the kind of relationship I wanted.

Then, what actually buried the whole thing was that, even after everything, I was trying to build up a relationship with her even though I wasn't really feeling the vibes. The question that dug the final grave was--"Since the day I left your place, you haven't sent me any money for food and upkeep".

At first, I kept quiet for a while and then replied her--"haven't you been eating before we met?". That was when hell was let lose. The insults I received on that day from her were so much and annoying that the only way I thought I could pay her back was to block her ASAP.

This lady was someone who had her own hairdressing saloon business and I thought I could build something meaningful with her. But to my greatest surprise, she wasn't different from the hungry, younger ladies out there.

I don't think I will commence on my mission on the dating pool from now on because it seems most of these ladies nowadays are hungry and only looking for men who will bail them out of their poverty

So single guys in the house, has anyone of you had a similar experience with single ladies?

Wrong caption then..

They were only fanning her,not that they wanted to harm her.

Amovingman:
The worst part is that this fake story will reach frontpage on because of traffic to make money that's all

. It's not a fake story. Simply because you're not the one it happened to doesn't make it a fake story. This is one thing I dislike about many of you here on Nairaland because you take many things for granted.

Bahamas95:
Keep it at the back of your mind that whenever you visit a spiritualist or pastor, they may come up with a story to tell you, which could end up worsening your problem.


The funny thing is that your friend's wife could even be the source of the problem. I know of a woman who wasted her husband's time for almost seven years in marriage until he eventually discovered that her womb had been damaged due to a series of abortions she had undergone in the past.

Women can be very deceitful, and that spiritualist might even be her partner in crime.

. I get your point. I just pray this friend of mine doesn't end up breaking down emotionally further more than he already is.

Good morning everyone.

It's only been two days ago since my friend and his fiancee visited a spiritualist ,to know where the fault of their inability to get pregnant was.

My friend said when they got there,the spiritualist who's a woman told my friend that he was having a spiritual wife and had been the reason why he'd been unable to impregnate his fiancee. Mind you,this friend of mine isn't an impotent and like he said,his bedroom performance is topnotch.

Since they came back,my friend said his fiancee has been behaving cold towards him. She had been blaming him for wasting her time all these while, thinking she was the problem. And truth be told,this had thrown my friend into a state of dilemma and depression and of which I'm here to ask,if such things do exist.

I told him I don't believe in such beliefs and advised him to seek medical attention from a medical personnel instead of one spiritualist who may probably be hustling for her own daily bread.

Please my fellow Nairalanders,has anyone here had a similar experience or known of anyone who had? Please share your experience and thoughts 🙏

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FitCorper:
Where was it written that you have to trust a lady before you flow with her? Better break that mental barrier and go with the flow.

. Ok sir. Thank you very much.

Good afternoon everyone.

So it's been over 2 months since my fiancee broke up with me. I've asked her to know what I did that made her to take that decision but she certificate has no reason for it. Finally I've decided to move on with my life and that was after I send a friend of mine to help me speak with her. She told my friend she had moved on with her life ,and that I should also do the same. So,I've accepted my fate and that's it .

But here lies the problem,I've met a couple of ladies. Some have equally shown interest too but my problem now is that I'm finding it difficult to trust any of these ladies, considering what I went through in the hands of my immediate ex.

Please, Nairalanders,what can I do to build up my trust back especially around women.

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Good day my fellow Nairalanders. Of late,my fiancee and I broke up and I've been considering about going into a new relationship. I must really say all the time I was with my ex,I was so commitment to her to the extent that I didn't even have time for any other woman. She knew that and Peru that must be one of my weaknesses she saw.

But the truth is that it's been over a month we ended the relationship and I really long to go into another's relationship as an escape route for me to stop thinking about my ex.

So,my questions to you my fellow Nairalanders,how long should a man wait before going into another relationship after a break up? Is it right to find love as soon as possible considering the fact that the it was my ex who ended the relationship for reasons only known to her?

Are you for real

That's 1m in total man

Nehyooh:
I walked away from my nonsense, ill-mannered and disrespectful ex, it over four years now and I am still happy I made such decision.

Bro, there are many well-mannered and well-trained girls out there.

Forget about that girl!

Thanks alot bro.

Movingname1:
I am really sorry you’re hurting like this. What you’re feeling makes sense .When you have invested your heart and your future in someone, their distance can feel overwhelming.But I want to gently say something that might help you breathe a little easier: the block, as painful as it feels, might actually be a gift in disguise. It’s giving you the space you haven’t been able to give yourself. It’s creating a pause in a cycle that has been exhausting you for a long time.You have described a relationship where you were often disrespected, dismissed, and left carrying the emotional weight alone. No one can thrive in that. Wanting to walk away but feeling pulled back isn’t weakness , it’s what happens when your heart and nervous system have been stretched between hope and hurt for too long.This moment, as hard as it is, can be the beginning of your healing. You deserve peace, kindness, and a relationship where you don’t have to beg to be heard.Please be gentle with yourself. Reach out to people who care about you, talk to someone who can support you, and take this time to reconnect with your own wellbeing. You don’t have to go through this alone, and you don’t have to rush anything. One steady step at a time is enough.

. You have really said alot of helpful words bro and I so much appreciate. Thanks alot.

HopeNeverDies:
Chief… walk away . I walked out of mine which was 5yrs… I dated this nincompoop throughout our school days in uni. What amazes me is that, this idi0t was mostly the one being disrespectful to me and nevertheless I won’t react but once I’m being disrespectful, that’s when sudden useless talks come in…


Chief… Leave that Banny and Move away!!!

. I'm really trying to move away completely bro. Thanks alot.

mkpologwu:
Just walk away from toxic and disrespectful woman, even if your entire breath depends on her.

Just get up and leave. It's better to leave without breath than stay with a toxic and disrespectful woman!!!

. Thanks alot bro. I really appreciate.

Good day everyone out there.

Lately, I have been traumatized. Like so depressed. My fiancee and I have been together for over 2 years and we've been planning to take the next step,which is our marriage arrangements.

But recently,I have noticed how she has been distancing herself from me. Though we had a little quarrels not quite long ago,but I really wanted to settle things up. And unfortunately, before I could calm things up,I noticed she had blocked me on Whatsapp.

Now,the pain in me,is that I've tried to talk to her,but she seems like who doesn't want to listen to me and it's really hitting hard on me.

This is someone who has always been toxic and disrespectful to me,but whenever I try t walk away completely from her,i always find myself going back to her. And I'm so tired and fed up with the whole thing.

I have tried to walk away,like forget about everything we've together in the past but the healing process hasn't been easy. I really want my peace of mind back. Please,has anyone been in this kind of situation before? How did you navigate yourself through it. Please,help a brother in need.

helinues:
The Obidients shouldn't do their as usual tantrums on this thread

I listed some facts over there, if you can't dispute any of them, stay out. It get why

. Now I'm beginning to believe when people say you're jobless. I believe none of Tinubus kinsmen are as jobless as you who claim to love him more. Please try and find something more useful to do with your life.

helinues:
You can create a thread about Atiku or Amaechi.

Make una no sound incoherently on this thread as usual

This thread is about Peter Obi, stick to it

. Why can't you create a thread about your lord and personal saviour,Tinubu and leave Peter Obi to be discussed by those who see him as their lord and personal saviour.

Johnbull, is Peter Obi the only aspirant on ballot against Tinubu or you just want an unnecessary attention upon yourself this afternoon?

Good day my fellow Nairalanders.

There's something I've come to realize about the current political system in Nigeria. And of course,I've equally noticed the changes as well.

Here in my area, ADC came to limelight the very minute Peter Obi joined the party and everyone was busy aligning with the party.

But the moment he left and joined NDC,they all left the ADC and joined the NDC. The funny thing is that I've seen lots of people here on Nairaland saying NDC as a political party doesn't have a structure but I must really say they are all wrong. The name,Peter Obi is a structure on its own.

A quick reminder to those who said similar things back then in 2023 during the time of labour party. But after the election,we all saw everything that happened.

Mind you, before you lots come for my head, I'm not a politician neither do I belong to any political party. But I just want a better Nigeria and these are simply my humble observations.

Who else has noticed this too,in his/her area? Please kindly share and let's have a reasonable conversation.

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Good afternoon Nairalanders.

A friend of mine came to seek advise from me yesterday and I only gave him the little I knew I could give.

There's the girl he has been dating for over a year now and things had really gotten serious between the both of them. So, taking the next step which is about going to see her people has been on his mind for some time now.

Now, here's the problem. This particular lady in question is presently working in a hotel and she has been holding a very big position in the hotel. Just like how we are made to believe, concerning ladies working in hotels. Of course, we've heard of various cases of how ladies working in hotels turn out to be promiscuous and render their bodies for men who comes to lodge in those hotels which they're working in. This friend of mine is worried,and has asked his lady times without a number if she would quit the hotel work after getting married to pursue another career. He has even promised to open a super market for her but she didn't obliged to his request.

As a matter of fact,my friend is currently considering walking out of the relationship but I told him to speak with her one more time. And if she should insist on quitting the hotel work,then,he could do whatever he has on his mind.

So,my dear fellow Nairalanders, especially the guys ,how do you guys view this kind of situation?

Hey my Nairaland fam.

There's this neighbor of mine,a girl in her early 20's who's still living with her parents. Recently,I got to know that that took jamb and had even written the exam. So,this morning she came to me to advise her on the next step to take since her result came out and she scored 173. First,this is someone whom I know who doesn't have any skill or handwork. Secondly,her parents aren't that well-to-do type that can see a child through any university at this moment considering how expensive the Nigerian higher institutions have become.

I told her openly that she should go and learn a skill from now till next year and can retake the jamb next year. Though she agreed to what I told her but since then,she has been behaving so cold towards me. Someone who used to respond to me jokes before no longer talks to me. And I've been wondering if what I did was wrong. Or perhaps,I should have just mind my business and let her continue with what she intended on doing.

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