₦airaland Forum

not looking forward to that time!

@ thread title.

Looking critically at the bolded, one will notice that the writer places emphasis on family elders' wisdom and guidance in making a success of the entire courtship process.

This is not very realistic in a society like Nigeria where quite often, children/young people are often more knowledgeable about Islam than their parents. Relying on parents/family elders for a choice of spouse might translate into selecting a not-so-good spouse in terms of Islam because factors such as social status, wealth, beauty and even "modernity" may be favoured whilst the degree of understanding and practice of Islam of the individual may not be considered at all in making such a decision.

when you say knowledgeable, do you mean as in education, or in the practice of Islam itself?

while in my own view, i wouldnt totally dismiss family input as regards spouse [especially in nigeria], sometimes the family view does matter when a person is trying to decide who to marry.

it all depends on the individual environment perhaps, not sure there's necessarily a hard and fast rule.

especially these days when a significant number of nigerians are in diaspora and not really so much into their backgrounds anymore.

maclatunji: ^It is just a style of writing...I am trying to appeal to both genders whom are my readers. The gender in the specific questions could easily be reversed. That is just me being friendly to both men and women in my essay.

ok, i get it now.

As for the desperate part. My belief is that many people might want to shy away from such fora because they might see it as an admittance of the fact that they cannot independently woo a woman if they are male or are not good enough to attract quality men if they are female. This is not true at all. For example, an attractive lady may not find many guys approaching her because most feel intimidated by her success generally in life. That is why I made that comment to dispel such a notion.

well, i doubt wishing to marry is a bad thing, the issue of "desperation" is generally viewed negatively in a female context because there's the perception they might make wrong choices if they feel they're under pressure to find a partner. Also the "intimidation" factor which you pointed out.

Not too sure if it [match making things] are seen as a negative context for a man since he'd have more choices and more candidates, in a way.


but, i do get your points.

hmm, will follow from time to time.

hmm, interesting.

hmm, the first one was good although very sad.


wonder if the second will match up.

na wa!

gosh, una don bring una tribalism enter this hitherto quiet section.

that's sick.

did he drop some money with them, abi wetin dem go take his hanging out do?

romans did have black african soldiers, not sure of the number.

where they came from is relatively unknown, although it might be pushing it to assume some might have been acquainted with the ancestors of the current yoruba, maybe in a different location. eg egypt, sudan, etc.

few questions and comments, i'm wondering if the gender references are intentional or otherwise :

a. Is he/she single and unattached?

this is both genders, then from here, it becomes more specific

b. Is he introverted or extroverted?

c. Does he like kids?

d. Does she have a temper?

f. What would you say are his flaws that anybody he marries might have to handle?

^the last one is even more puzzling.





comment:

Attend Muslim singles match-making events: This might seem desperate but it really isn't

why would it seem desperate?

^will you also be looking at a roman connection, if there is one?

personally, i think the thread sort of goes beyond any of the titles, but thanks for modifying it.

In a document titled "The New Order of Iwere Kingdom"

where is this document and can anyone pull up the history of the title in question [Ogiame].