₦airaland Forum

CJStarz:
Brainjotter was born for his sake.
Sleep on, Legend.

I like how some people reason, kudos to you.

If you use Yoruba to interpret 'Edo', it means 'make una Bleep', not joking 😄

KnowledgePower7:
Turn 300 into 4000 naira
That is the only magic i want to see

Very simple! Carry 13.3333

Maxymilliano:
So what's the point of setting a up a panel to mediate when the recommendations of the panel will still be subjected to Tinubu's whims

Tinubu probably thought the panel would do the dirty Obasa work for him

PrinceofAgoAre:
Chemistry, easy .. lol

Then you must already be a guru ..


Chemistry wey wan Kee me for uni days

Don't mind him, studying chemistry in schools like OAU will make you regret the day you were born

franchasng:
packing your boobs to make it forcefully puff up for cheap boys to see and to entice them is not same as looking beautiful.


She doesn't appear responsible and cool-headed, she seems to be forcing sexiness on herself, thereby choking herself and making her look tacky and whorish


Fyi, I assumed the lady on traditional wear and the one sitting with a man is the Ada complaining, hope I am right?


You are very correct about married men and their side chicks wahala lol

That's the side chick, not the wife

This guy probably wants charm seekers to contact him so that he can scam them.

purples25:
Moved in two years ago or so. My first time of living in a neighborhood like that. Me and hubby trying to sit tight until things got better.

I came in right after having my baby and looked like shit with my natural hair. I relaxed the hair next month and it was very long. I also lost weight and started dressing nice. They weren't laughing anymore. I spoke good English. They looked depressed and intimidated. All the girlfriends of drunks in the area, all the market women wearing wrappers around and some even refused to greet me, that is they refused to respond to my greetings. My first few days there I was passing with my baby and attempted to greet a guy, he muttered that I should dey my dey while he dey on his own, with so much malice and contempt.

I made hair after hair. I used a baby carrier, I never really backed my baby. First day I did that, a drunk passed us and set his red eyes on my baby with such a glare that I was wondering what the little child did to him, is it his fault that his mom got something different to carry him with? My child was fair and cute at that point. People said I was fine and my baby was fine, some kids said when they grow up they want to have my style, some people came up to me and praised me. I didn't know the fire I was lighting up under my own ass ...

I saw a lot of things from those people. I was mocked, they sent their kids to ridicule me in the market, their kids on their own started insulting me and my child. Once I couldn't make that hair again it was a great victory for them, the boys from the betting shop close by will actually call their friends to where i am, point at me and laugh. They observed me very closely and mocked me anytime I wasn't able to keep to the former standard of nice dressing and hair, and dressing up my kid. They started loudly complaining that I never allow my child to walk even if he was just a year plus and walked well at home. Some people will even come up to me and tell me to allow the boy to walk. Someone directly told me it's because I use a baby carrier and not what Is common to the neighborhood, which is backing babies with wrapper.

When that mockery with intensity set up on making me an object of ridicule started, even aboki join in o. When the kids were following me with songs and the women and drunks in the area that I never greet were sated, aboki sef start to dey feel important, they will pass and look me up and down slowly, they would laugh. I had ignited so much hatred by suddenly moving in looking nice and being different with my baby.

A woman dropped a fetish substance of boiled eggs and God knows what at my door to scare me or anything else. A line of women sat in the narrow path we cross every day observing me and my son. They didn't stop observing until when after things got bad, my son turned dark in complexion then they stopped their close up mockery and left in smiles.

I cut my long hair to get them off, if that was the thing that made them angry. They didn't stop, they mocked me more. They started saying I looked like a man, some people will loudly comment to my face when their friends point me out. The stupid drunks in the area felt important, the cowards now felt confident that they now swerve when I pass, idiots. Who should be swerving for who. The same drinks that start playing abusive music about cheating wives and saying all sorts of things to make themselves feel ok because I don't greet them, they said I'm old, they said I've given birth, they said I used to sleep with senators and later they said na me go dey look for senators.

I started speaking pidgin because of the hostility and angry claims that I'm just a poor person who was forming, but that changed nothing.

I can't say all but it really affected me, I went down to feeling like nothing. Leaving for a while never stopped them , when I came back they resumed mockery and monitoring. I left again and now it seems they are sated because they have ridiculed me to a point when they can now take their eyes off me and afford not to care.

I now don't dare to do any hair style that the old women in the neighborhood don't do again, nothing flashy. I don't have that self esteem again, I became hard towards my son, I frown whenever I'm out because I wake up every day remembering my 'downfall' in the neighborhood. I don't know if I will regain my former softness or self esteem, right now I'm like whatever. Sometimes I hit my kid In public, I found myself acting just like those women tying wrapper, those old unfashionable women with hairstyles that make them look even older. I decided today that I'll try and mend my relationship with my son because he no longer looks sad when I hit him, he just got home today and started smashing his most loved toy on the wall. That's anger issues starting because of me, so I'll try to heal and fix things with him.

There are many animalistic people and most, not all, people in the hood are of that type. They can't see you shine and not make you miserable.

I'm glad we may be moving out soon.

Please tell me that this is a fiction and that you are only testing your writing skills😅🤣💔💔😂😂

leocollins:
Use the money to run ads on my page for customers.that will be of help.thanks sir

WhatsApp ads??

Goodlyhrt:
thank you at bolded.

---

More like a deformity in my right leg. An injection shrunked my right leg when I was a toddler caused me to not walk properly so I aid my rightleg with my righthand when I walk.. I bend to one side when I make a stride.

That is not much boss

floss:
One thing you must learn as a Nigerian,

If it’s legit, you won’t see the advert any where, it will be kept hidden. If care is not taken, one can hide it from himself.

If the format is Legit, you won’t find it anywhere except on reference.

Even those doing scam, you can never see hush puppy type online doing advert on how you can be a yahoo boy.


Legit information is very scarce and difficult to come across.. the difference between you and Obi cubana is information. That information that will catapult you to the level of obi cubana is difficult to come across, even him obi cubana won’t give you such information.

Real information aren’t available online…,life changing information, you can’t find it online.

Very sensible.
If you see how fast I normally scroll pass any fake shii like that on social media ehn, you will think I personally know the creator to be fake.

Goodlyhrt:
I am the kind of person that likes to put myself in the shoe of someone before I judge the person.

So I don't feel bad when girls reject my advances. I just feel like I understand where they are coming from then I quit bothering myself. But I cannot continue this way.

Never dated, no idea what sex is like nor what it feels like to be loved by the opposite sex.

To be really honest I wouldn't agree to date or have anything intimate with someone like me because obviously my form is not attractive ( I have a disability) and also my broke state.

But there is something that also puts me off and gives me great anxiety if at all I end up being intimate with the opposite sex is the hemorrhoids in my rectum area. It really discomforts me and I am anxious a girl I will make out with doesn't find out so I am technically suffering from PE.

Infact I have not had a full morning Glory for once since after my 18 years. And I am worried in no small measure for my life.

If I have the needed money to atleast take care of my health and eat well, then my life will be more comfortable even though I don't get to drive cars or build mansions or whatever. I will be contented with being whole.

Truly I am not happy in my life.

Don't talk down on yourself boss, everyone is battling with one or two.
Care to share what that seeming disability is?

Ebonygeek:
This Money, I Must Make Am No Matter What.

Efe could feel beads of sweat rolling down his back and stomach as he fanned himself vigorously with a torn-off book cover.

Why e be sey November dey always dey hot like this sef? he thought with a grimace.

It was almost 1pm and he hadn't had a single customer all day. He turned slightly on the wooden bench he was sitting on and surveyed the plaza. The place was almost empty. Even his neighbour, Tony, who was more skilled at repairing phones than him didn't seem to be having much luck that day.

How pesin won take chop this night now? he wondered.

As if on cue, a sleek black car stopped in front of the shopping complex. Efe silently prayed that the owner would come to his oga's shop. At least if the person bought one of their goods or paid for phone repair services, he would receive a small commission to buy food that night.

Unfortunately, his village people had called his name in their coven last night. The car owner entered the plaza and made a beeline for Tony's shop.

"Mchteeeeww. Which kind wahala be this na?"

Although his shop wasn't making lots of profit from his phone repair work, he usually had at least one customer every day. He also sold his oga's gadgets almost every day, and received a small token daily, which he usually spent on food or other small things that he needed. Recently, however, sales had dropped, and the number of people needing help with their phones had reduced.

Abi na inflation no dey let them dey buy things again? he thought.

Five hours later, Efe left the plaza feeling downcast. With no money in his pocket, he decided to stop at his friend, Chuk's house before going home. He knew there wouldn't be food at home. Ever since his mother had left his dad, he had shared the small one-bedroom apartment with his father and younger brother. They all worked, but neither his dad nor brother brought food to the house or cooked. At twenty-three years old, he had to fend for himself.

Chuks was about to leave his room when Efe arrived. He lived in one of those cramped face-me-I-slap-you apartments without a private toilet. He was just locking his door when Efe walked up behind him.

"Guy how far na? Where you dey go?" he asked, shaking his friend.

"One of my paddy dey do birthday this night. Better bottles go dey," Chuks replied, smiling.

"Ah. I fit come?"

"Sure. But you gats change first o. No come fall my hand with this your nicker," Chuks said, teasing his friend.

***

Efe sat with Chuks at a table near the celebrant and silently watched the birthday boy and his friends. The guy looked like he was almost his own age. He was a fleshy guy with gold-tinted spiky hair. Although the club wasn't bright, Efe could clearly see a large tattoo on the guy's left forearm.

The guy's table was filled with different kinds of alcoholic drinks. Efe had never seen some of the bottles in his life. When the birthday boy had asked him and Chuks to order whatever they wanted, Efe had asked for a bottle of Trophy and a plate of suya while Chuks had asked for two cans of Budweiser and chicken suya.

From 7pm till midnight, Efe watched the birthday boy and his friends spend more money than he had ever counted in his entire life. He was filled with awe.

This guy na almost my age, yet, see as e dey spend money na. While I dey there dey kill myself on top 1k every day. This guy no get two head abeg. Anything wey e dey do, I sure say I go sabi do am. Enough is enough.

***Two weeks later****

Efe sat across the table from Kenny Billions. That was what the birthday boy called himself. They were at a popular eatery, and once again, the guy had asked him to order anything he wanted. Efe had a plate of jollof rice, moi moi and chicken in front of him. Kenny had also ordered for two packs of Hollandia yoghurt for the both of them.

Getting an audience with the guy had not been easy. He had begged Chuks to introduce him to Kenny for over a week. Chuks kept telling him to forget about it. But how could he? After watching the guy make it rain for hours, pesin no go fit forget that kine thing na.

When they finished eating, Efe didn't waste any time before going straight to the point. He wanted Kenny to teach him how to make money. He would do anything he wanted. He would even give him half of his first paycheck. He was ready for anything. He was tired of poverty and wanted his life to change.

"Guy you no go sabi this one abeg. Na yahoo boy I be. You go sabi do yahoo? You get the mind?" asked Kenny.

Efe hesitated for a moment. He'd had a feeling that that was what the man was into. Internet fraud was very common now, but he had never pictured himself joining the trend.

But no be to friend oyinbo and later ask am for money? Las las na your online friend wey dey assist you in your time of need na. What's the big deal there?

"Guy for sure. I fit do am," he told Kenny.

Kenny Billions watched him for a moment, then told Efe he would text him his address. His training would start that weekend.

***
Efe was feeling frustrated. It had been over three months since he started his training, and he hadn't been able to get anything from his clients. Kenny said that it took time for these things to happen, but how long did he have to keep sweet-talking all these people before receiving something from them? It was taking too long.

"Boss, e no get any way wey I fit speed up this process? I done hear before sey some guys dey baf soap for their hustle to work. That thing dey work true true?" he asked Kenny one day.

Kenny burst into laughter. "Guy leave that one abeg. You no go fit. You no get mind for that one."

Efe suddenly felt annoyed. "Ahn ahn. Why you go talk that kind thing? You think sey na small pikin I be?

"No boss. No vex. The thing be sey no be everybody those baba dey give soap to baf. Some kine baba go tell you to do some kine crazy things."

"See ehn boss, as I dey here now, I fit do anything to make this money o. Anything at all. I don tire for this suffer wey I dey. This money so, I must make am."

"Hmm. Okay na. Come back tomorrow. I go take you to the baba wey do something for me. But keep in mind. Once you start the process, there's no turning back. Once you're in, you're in for life."

Something about the way he said it made Efe want to change his mind. But he had come this far already. He was so close to making this money. He couldn't turn back now.

"I'll be here tomorrow boss," he said.

As Efe walked home, he wondered whether he was going too far. But what other choice did he have? How was he supposed to make money? His father had nothing to offer him. He didn't have money for university, and he would never make it in life by repairing phones. He needed this.

As he walked on, he heard a man speaking through a megaphone. "Matthew 19:26: But Jesus beheld them , and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. My brothers and sisters, the people around you may say the thing you want is impossible to get, that you can't amount to much or become somebody, but guess what, friend? God says as long as you can think it, you can achieve it. All things are possible with Christ. Come to him today and allow him to make a way for you."

Efe was about to walk past the preacher when the man suddenly stopped talking and looked at him intently.

"Brother, hear the words of the Lord. 1 Corinthians 10:20-22: But I say, that the things which the Gentiles sacrifice, they sacrifice to devils, and not to God: and I would not that ye should have fellowship with devils. [21] Ye cannot drink the cup of the Lord, and the cup of devils: ye cannot be partakers of the Lord's table, and of the table of devils. [22] Do we provoke the Lord to jealousy? are we stronger than he?"

"My brother, I don't know who you are or what you're into, but God is asking you to come to Him today. Don't do something you're going to regret."

Efe was dumbfounded. How dis man take know say I won go see baba make e do something for me?

"Young man, if you do that thing that you're planning to do, you will not come out of it alive. 1 Timothy 6:7-10: For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain we can carry nothing out. [8] And having food and raiment let us be therewith content. [9] But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition. [10] For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows. Take heed my brother. Can we pray together?"

***

Efe lay wide awake on his bed that night. How did the preacher know what he was planning to do? He couldn't come up with a logical explanation for it. He had never seen the man before, so there was no way he knew the kind of friends Efe hung out with or what he did for a living.

Although he wasn't sure how the man knew, he was certain about one thing: he wasn't going to see Kenny Billions again.

Complete this thing naw

[quote author=Mosdiii post=133111029]This is very very true indeed [/quot
Weldone

It was your cousin that taught you the lesson, not the mechanic.

doggedfighter:
You mean a well rounded and exposed, classy girl with village naivety and timidity.

I am imagining how that one will be 🤣🤣🤣😄

U these girls ehn 🤣🤣🤣😂

Nazgul:
Some have built-in rechargeable batteries. Others can be powered by being connected to a power source, through a USB charger or a power outlet.

It just depends on the type you buy.

The lifespan of the battery when fully recharged varies based on the model you buy.

Thanks Legend.
I will make my findings.
Is the name exactly 'spy camera'?

Nazgul:
Just buy a spy camera and fix in your room. Cos you can't expect them to admit to you that they're having sex.

You'll buy it less than 15k on jumia and it would be delivered right on your door step.

With your camera in place, every doubt and suspicion would be earsed from your mind within days.

Please, what powers the camera?

XerXers:
How many times will the protest "lose steam"?

Errm, every time condensation occurs 😂😂

fergie001:
I don't know what to tell this girl now.

I blame the Dean of Students Affairs

She may be having 'affairs' with the Dean of Students Affairs 😁😁

MercyStan:
I can only speculate. But like I said, the no smoke people are the only ones that leave me with a sharp cold feeling when I come in contact with them. And the fact that every other group of people have a certain colour of smoke makes them very different. I don't think these people have a soul. That's my own theory.

In terms of sight, I have no issues with this ability. It's the way I have always seen people ever since I was a child. For you it might seem like a visual distraction because you are used to seeing people without the smoke, but in my case it's my natural way of seeing humans.

The only aspect that I might call it a burden is because it makes me form opinions about people without even knowing them on a personal level.

Please, let me have your contact

Sheistoopretty:
Men are dogs

What breed is your father?

columbus007:
Just as a tight friend he said.. Lolz

It makes sense since the said lady claimed she is "tight" down there 🤣🤣🤣

dangotesmummy:
I am really happy he won it because his jokes are healthy and clean not like Mr macaroni that his skits are over sexualized.everytime freaky freaky

If you say that about Mr Macaroni, what will you say about Sir Balo🤣🤣

Monaboo:
4 years ago, I met two men in a bar who were telling me they have been smoking and drinking since they were 15yrs old.

These men were in their 40's as at then.

I shouted.

They said they are childhood friends.

I asked them what will they do if God forbid, they gets diagnosed with Lung Cancer, Lung Problem due to so many year of Smoking or Liver Cirrhosis due to excessive drinking for so many years.

I asked them if they will be happy seeing their wife and children run around searching for money to cure them knowing that they brought the calamity on themselves.

They said they can never stop.

Hmmm....

They were not even feeling that their actions could affect their loved ones if the worst happens.

I've worked as a Health practitioner and I must tell you from experience that Family members are the ones that suffer most when their sick and dying loved ones are hospitalized.

You can not imagine.

I ignored their ignorance and I recommended a Health product I used to sell then to them.

The product is specifically made for Smokers and Alcohol Drinkers to help their organs. Especially the Addicted ones who cant stop.

They both didn't take it.

One took my number saying "Am only taking your number becos I like your spirit. You remind me of my mum and how she used to tell me to live right".

He later DM me after a week and bought some packs and has been taking the Health products for himself till date.

To cut the long story short, the one that didn't take my number is DEAD as we speak leaving his wife widowed and children fatherless.

He died from complications with his Lungs after coughing out heavy blocks of blood for months together with some Breathing complications.

The other one who has now become my friend is still alive. Still taking the Health product.

Value your life. Remember your loved ones. Nobody will take care of you more than you. Because everybody is doing it doesn't mean it is right. Your destiny is different. Do your own part and heaven will do the rest.

I love you all.

Moral of the story: We should all take your number😂

Mydazz:
After Messing Up is Cleaning Up,
No wonder Olamide said "Pound Sterling lawa fin se tissue"
If you no understand,..... who you epp?

That's really creative

Objectivist04:
It is a Yoruba culture, immorality and indecency is celebrated in that culture and that is why all their men are randy and women wayward.
Less than 3% of Yoruba men are free from sexual immorality not even their so called men of God. I almost threw up when I listened to exposition of TB Joshua's atrocities, imagine after sexual intercourse with some of his church workers, he will dress up without cleaning up and went to minister to god .

Tell me any Yoruba celebrity that is not emersed in immorality, Davido and Whizkid are competing on who will have more illegitimate kids ,
Mohbad's mother is telling everyone who cares to listen that she was sleeping are when still married to the late singers father and that she bore the late singer to another man !
Even the late singer's wife is not sure of who is the father of her son as she must have slept with other men during the period she was married to him and it continues.

In 2007 I was attending a very popular lesson center in surulere called "pathfinder " you need to see the type of jokes being cracked by the owner and other Yoruba tutors , o boy uncensored and vulgarism at the core. No innocent person enrolls into that lesson center and comes out the same.
For these people, live revolves around sex
Never you entrust your ward to a Yoruba man no matter how responsible you think he or she is . This is a fact

Your life has really spoiled