₦airaland Forum

Trypa:
Heheh see kidnap o!!! Lanicky o see they want to kidnap mi
Tohpehez where u dey!twaci they wan kidnap mi o

*cracks gun* Who be dat?!

john4aguero:
Hahaha...Really funny thread cutie...no worry e go better.

Amen! Thanks dear

JeffreyJamez:
Buhahahaha...... that your number 1 ehn twaci e funny die.... but in my own case, I do by hide it.... it's in the open... but if you get 2 head... chook phone na...... wa fe ku!!

Haha! Agbero! Why dem no go fear u?!

Chikili me, why dem no go carry me play?

Okay guys, thank God this fuel crisis is over (almost ). I mean, we ought to go for thanksgiving this Sunday to celebrate....its not easy. You should see the smile on my dad's face when this was announced.

So it came and went and I learned/noticed some strange but funny facts about fuel and/or electicity crisis. Did you?

Okay, let's go over mine first .

1) How to hide powerbanks.
When this fuel crisis began, I felt safe. I've got a powerbank that could power my phone for a day or two, till I could find where next to charge. I was contented. Well, that was before my family discovered my secret. At first I didn't notice it until my powerbank started dying on time. I would charge it full and before noon, it'd be flat, as in very flat that it wouldn't even blink again. I thought it was a device malfunction till I caught my cousin using it. I was vexed, was even more vexed when he revealed that everyone from mum to dad, to cousins and aunts...were "raping" my powerbank every time I turned my back.

So I started hiding it but funnily and annoyingly enough, they always found it. Hid it in my makeup bag...found, in my shoe...found, on the kitchen shelf...mumsi found that one, under the bed...still don't know the rat that found that one . Then I hid it in the dustbin....guys, I can't find my powerbank again .


2) 'Fine girl' no mean anything for queue.
So my mum had no choice but to ask me to get fuel. She didn't give me the money on time and I knew that there would be a very long queue at the fuel-station by the time I'd get there. So, I decided to turn on my womanly charms to get fuel on time. I madeup, wore a short red gown and a dash of an exotic fragrance, then I was ready . True enough, by the time I got there, I met a very long queue, so long that before it would get to me, the fuel would have finished (I mean also judging from the tankers some people had the mind to carry from their houses to buy fuel).

Undeterred, I catwalked to the guy who was next, batted my lashes and in the sweetest voice possible, told him about my little brother I'd left all alone at home to get fuel and if he would be kind enough to let me buy before him. The guy ignored the angry people behind him who demanded that i should be flung into a lagoon and listened to my sob-story with a smile.
"So?" I asked again, "Can I buy before you?".
See face transformation! The guy practically bathed me with spittle as he yelled, "If I slap u ehen! Them tell u say me too no get younger brother?! Abi you think say your maami water face fit move me?! Abeg go join line jaare! Onye ara!...".

Na so I jejely carry myself go join queue.

P.S: About 5 people don still add for the queue.

3. Black-marketers don't know fine girls too .
Before it got to my turn at the station, the fuel finished. In anger, I went to a black-marketer to try my luck. The guy didn't even smile when he told me it was N500 per litre. Shou?! This is the same guy that have been "chyking" me and should be glad that I came to him sef! N500 ke?! I smiled slyly and said, "Haba! Guy na me oh! Abeg help your girl sell am for N300 na...".

There came another spittle shower. "See, fine girl! If u no wan buy am for N500, disappear! I no dey look face for here!". I had no choice, ended up with 3 litres .


4) Dates with benefits .
My friend gisted me about how a guy asked her out and told her to meet him at Crunchies (an eatery). My babe's phone battery was low so she took her charger along. "Should we sit close to a socket, I'd charge my phone," she had concluded.

So she got there and all the guy could get was a bottle of cocacola for each of them and asked her to tell him about herself. She was pissed but decided to turn the annoying situation to a good one. Fortunately, they had taken a seat close to a socket, so she decided to use it. Only for her to discover that another phone had already been plugged there.
"Ooh", the guy said, "Do you want to plug your phone? Wait first let mine full then you'll charge. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting, tell me about yourself.".

My babe ditched him.

So much to relate! Other things I learned includes:
(i) How to push a car (with no fuel),
(ii) Trekking is a form of exercise, etc .

But enough about mine, let's hear your funny experiences!

CC: lalasticlala

Ipledge:
no give me another thing,If i get 3 tankers of fuel....They go Make me the owo obokun adimula of Ijesa land...

....and the king to my heart

chibwike:
you dont know how to share airtime?

Yeah

Ipledge:
I still dey hustle for the brideprice oo

Hustle well . Fuel don join am sha. Take a pen and. Include "3 tankers of fuel" as number 6.

chibwike:
Lets see if u re really nice...oya share with me

I don't know how to

Dygeasy:
Please help me test something on your phone.


Exit your browser and leave your phone for 30minutes.

Done...nofin

Dygeasy:
You this girl!!!!

That's how we roll sweedy.

Dygeasy:
1H8K2Y8K2V9G3K6G0B3W6R6X5F9Z9S0


AIRTEL!!!!!

Got this too

dyg30:
Dygeasy has been banned by badbelle spambot o






14795 99826 43783


Twaci you abi?


Lalasticlala unban me sir biko.

Yes oh!

Sleekyshuga:
I am so a learner

Priscaoge, a transfer won't be bad .

Twaci, you badt .

By hook or by crook

priscaoge:
This one strong gian

U never see

priscaoge:
Thief

Ole

JeffreyJamez:
Which network?!

Glo . I used two of my cousins phones

Hehehehehe

I got the Glo card

Dygeasy:
Now Glo!

Mizmycoli oya na!

khachee:
lolz...tosyne just load, clean mouth waka

As in ehen! Ghost mode all thru

adeh39:
Chaii! Twaci there is God oooo! U no fit call me make i load Free card ehn

Ha! Babe no vex! I no know say u too dey like this kain thing

KingTom:
I don miss awoof ooooo

U dey dey drag fuel tosyne2much load N1000 here

richidinho:
Fyne babe can get mouth
Lwkmd

How far?

Kachisbarbie:
Pls send for me

0703482015898

Babe ur number be like recharge card! I almost load am

Beamborla:
Lol
Na now I see the thread come peep o!

You self dey here
Who no like awoof.

Twaci, congratulations!
Towie it's coming late... Let's blame it on fuel scarcity

Thanks dear

Dygeasy:
Twaci how market?

Call am small small na.

I don vex!

I'm not playing anymore! No one wants to wait for me...NOT FAIR!!!!

subbieD:
See Werrin Dem Dey do o.....I No see card chop o

Lolz, sowie

agarawu23:
yes, I can't afford. should I send you pm ? mumu

Wickedt!

subbieD:
Chai!!!!! I Don miss o

Babe how far na?

Dygeasy:
Shey people dey use Airtel here so?

Sure

priscaoge:
I got this

Badt girl!

Dygeasy:
2031

And that completes the sequence!

I wee kill person!