Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / NewStats: 3,195,687 members, 7,959,092 topics. Date: Thursday, 26 September 2024 at 10:39 AM |
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences (2849 Views)
Breaking News: University Of Lagos Shut Down Over Fuel Crisis / Africa's Richest Man Will Fix Nigeria's Chronic Fuel Crisis / Share Your Past Christmas Experiences!!! (2) (3) (4)
Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by Twaci(f): 8:18pm On May 26, 2015 |
Okay guys, thank God this fuel crisis is over (almost ). I mean, we ought to go for thanksgiving this Sunday to celebrate....its not easy. You should see the smile on my dad's face when this was announced. So it came and went and I learned/noticed some strange but funny facts about fuel and/or electicity crisis. Did you? Okay, let's go over mine first . 1) How to hide powerbanks. When this fuel crisis began, I felt safe. I've got a powerbank that could power my phone for a day or two, till I could find where next to charge. I was contented. Well, that was before my family discovered my secret. At first I didn't notice it until my powerbank started dying on time. I would charge it full and before noon, it'd be flat, as in very flat that it wouldn't even blink again. I thought it was a device malfunction till I caught my cousin using it. I was vexed, was even more vexed when he revealed that everyone from mum to dad, to cousins and aunts...were "raping" my powerbank every time I turned my back. So I started hiding it but funnily and annoyingly enough, they always found it. Hid it in my makeup bag...found, in my shoe...found, on the kitchen shelf...mumsi found that one, under the bed...still don't know the rat that found that one . Then I hid it in the dustbin....guys, I can't find my powerbank again . 2) 'Fine girl' no mean anything for queue. So my mum had no choice but to ask me to get fuel. She didn't give me the money on time and I knew that there would be a very long queue at the fuel-station by the time I'd get there. So, I decided to turn on my womanly charms to get fuel on time. I madeup, wore a short red gown and a dash of an exotic fragrance, then I was ready . True enough, by the time I got there, I met a very long queue, so long that before it would get to me, the fuel would have finished (I mean also judging from the tankers some people had the mind to carry from their houses to buy fuel). Undeterred, I catwalked to the guy who was next, batted my lashes and in the sweetest voice possible, told him about my little brother I'd left all alone at home to get fuel and if he would be kind enough to let me buy before him. The guy ignored the angry people behind him who demanded that i should be flung into a lagoon and listened to my sob-story with a smile. "So?" I asked again, "Can I buy before you?". See face transformation! The guy practically bathed me with spittle as he yelled, "If I slap u ehen! Them tell u say me too no get younger brother?! Abi you think say your maami water face fit move me?! Abeg go join line jaare! Onye ara!...". Na so I jejely carry myself go join queue. P.S: About 5 people don still add for the queue. 3. Black-marketers don't know fine girls too . Before it got to my turn at the station, the fuel finished. In anger, I went to a black-marketer to try my luck. The guy didn't even smile when he told me it was N500 per litre. Shou?! This is the same guy that have been "chyking" me and should be glad that I came to him sef! N500 ke?! I smiled slyly and said, "Haba! Guy na me oh! Abeg help your girl sell am for N300 na...". There came another spittle shower. "See, fine girl! If u no wan buy am for N500, disappear! I no dey look face for here!". I had no choice, ended up with 3 litres . 4) Dates with benefits . My friend gisted me about how a guy asked her out and told her to meet him at Crunchies (an eatery). My babe's phone battery was low so she took her charger along. "Should we sit close to a socket, I'd charge my phone," she had concluded. So she got there and all the guy could get was a bottle of cocacola for each of them and asked her to tell him about herself. She was pissed but decided to turn the annoying situation to a good one. Fortunately, they had taken a seat close to a socket, so she decided to use it. Only for her to discover that another phone had already been plugged there. "Ooh", the guy said, "Do you want to plug your phone? Wait first let mine full then you'll charge. Meanwhile, I'm still waiting, tell me about yourself.". My babe ditched him. So much to relate! Other things I learned includes: (i) How to push a car (with no fuel), (ii) Trekking is a form of exercise, etc . But enough about mine, let's hear your funny experiences! CC: lalasticlala 7 Likes 2 Shares
|
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by agarawu23(m): 8:20pm On May 26, 2015 |
when you are on the field playing football and your brother came to inform u mama sikira don use your 1liter fuel u bought for #600 3 Likes 2 Shares
|
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by Nobody: 8:23pm On May 26, 2015 |
Still very angry over the issue that occurred between Folake and i yesterday. . . I spent my last 8k to buy 7litres of fuel at black market jez to pick her up, on getting home, the last kongo of garri in my house, i used it to make Eba for her and i had to beg soup from mama Busayo despite the fact that i received some heavenly bashes from her before she could give it to me! Collected 2 Malta guiness from Aunty Amarachi on credit! When itz time to reap all what i sowed, she now told me she was on her period!!! I fainted 7 consecutive times due the shock i received from that statement 6 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by steppin: 8:23pm On May 26, 2015 |
Op, For your mind now, u wan open thread wey go reach front page abi?
The big head on top of me don book space sef! |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by steppin: 8:23pm On May 26, 2015 |
Op, For your mind now, u wan open thread wey go reach front page abi?
The big head on top of me don book space sef! |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by KingTom(m): 8:24pm On May 26, 2015 |
I suppose go lash one babe for Atimbo but jez see my cars jez see wetin I dey pass through? Thunder fire Nigeriaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!! 2 Likes 1 Share
|
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by kinglekan: 8:25pm On May 26, 2015 |
[b] Haahahahaha!!! ROTFL.. LMAO. Twaci u don kill me with laff oo. But your family bad ooo. Una get many detectives and investigators for house. Chaii see as dem dey discover your power bank. So your power bank got violated several times cos of the fuel scarcity? I think you should hire Naijaboiy to take up the matter. LMAO. ***Modified*** Ok I experienced quite a lot during this period sha, but the one that happened last night still dey make me laff. So I was busy roaming my neighbourhood with my extension and charger looking for where to charge. I kept jumping from one shop to the other cos everyone was still trying to conserve fuel considering the fact that PHCN have not given us light for over 3weeks. Finally I ended up in my barbers shop who seems to have a striking resemblance with orijin101. He was looking tipsy but I just ignored, plugged my phone and relaxed. Few minutes after, an elderly man strolled in saying he wanted to charge. We asked if he had a charger and he said No. He said he uses a Nokia pin mouth charger and he would just like to boost his phone a little so he could call his son who had been missing since noon. Na im we commot person phone give the man ooo. Next tin I heard was "honey bawo ni". I was like My suspicion was cut short when he said he called his wife. In my mind I was like this man can lie ooo. After the call na so the man relax oo, na im we ask am say make him comot fone na. Dt was how the man started begging us that he wants his phone to have 2bars. Ah ah!! 2bars ke!! How many hours dt wan go use. Na so we change am for the man ooo. [/b] 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by BreezyRita(f): 8:43pm On May 26, 2015 |
KingTom: Atimbo? |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by dechandel(f): 8:44pm On May 26, 2015 |
Hahahahahahahhahahahaha Now this cracked me up!! No electricity and no fuel? Choi Naija i hail thee This is me postponing my visit.. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by Nobody: 8:49pm On May 26, 2015 |
90% of people's comment will be complaints about their phone battery.. |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by JeffreyJamez(m): 8:49pm On May 26, 2015 |
Buhahahaha...... that your number 1 ehn twaci e funny die.... but in my own case, I dont hide it.... it's in the open... but if you get 2 head... chook phone na...... wa fe ku!! |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by KingTom(m): 8:51pm On May 26, 2015 |
BreezyRita:Yes Atimbo |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by JeffreyJamez(m): 8:52pm On May 26, 2015 |
KingTom: See as red Light full your dash board!! |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by Twaci(f): 8:55pm On May 26, 2015 |
JeffreyJamez:Haha! Agbero! Why dem no go fear u?! Chikili me, why dem no go carry me play? |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by john4aguero: 8:59pm On May 26, 2015 |
Hahaha...Really funny thread cutie...no worry e go better. 1 Like |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by Twaci(f): 9:03pm On May 26, 2015 |
john4aguero:Amen! Thanks dear 1 Like |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by JeffreyJamez(m): 9:04pm On May 26, 2015 |
Twaci: Lol no time to shine teeth o..... |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by BreezyRita(f): 9:07pm On May 26, 2015 |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by KingTom(m): 9:08pm On May 26, 2015 |
JeffreyJamez: |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by kannymoore(m): 9:17pm On May 26, 2015 |
Heh heh heh heh heh!!!! Who wears mini skirt and koi-koi shoes to buy fuel for queue? Nne..u get liver sha... .....erm but only say... ......yur liver dey for the wrong place ! 1 Like |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by kinglekan: 9:19pm On May 26, 2015 |
dechandel: Abeg send me invitation naa!! Naija don tire me. *sobbing* |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by Twaci(f): 9:22pm On May 26, 2015 |
kannymoore:Had to try na! 1 Like |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by dechandel(f): 9:33pm On May 26, 2015 |
kinglekan:Lmaooo!! Shey you voted for change? Wait and witness the change |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by kinglekan: 9:35pm On May 26, 2015 |
dechandel:Chaiiii!! But I nor vote naaa!! *sobs more* |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by Twaci(f): 9:36pm On May 26, 2015 |
kinglekan:Lolz! Sharp guy! 1 Like |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by KingTom(m): 9:37pm On May 26, 2015 |
BreezyRita:Yeah |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by JeffreyJamez(m): 9:46pm On May 26, 2015 |
KingTom: Na hin you wan follow my Ford Raptor race!... you die well!! |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by KingTom(m): 9:50pm On May 26, 2015 |
JeffreyJamez:Bring your ketu raptor come, mumu I go show you say Hyundai Sonata na Beast |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by JeffreyJamez(m): 9:53pm On May 26, 2015 |
KingTom: Hahaha Only the sound of my engine alone, your Hyundai Don off...... not to talk of say I raise am o!!... your four doors go fall commot be that! |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by KingTom(m): 9:58pm On May 26, 2015 |
JeffreyJamez:Wait make I start my Ranger , make my poor Hyundai no miss her period |
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by JeffreyJamez(m): 10:04pm On May 26, 2015 |
KingTom: Ranger?!.... mcheeeeewwww........ that one dey learn work lol Make you look rear view mirror see this kind thing for your back...
|
Re: Fuel Crisis And Its Experiences by Nobody: 10:06pm On May 26, 2015 |
LOL! Twaci your number two got me laughing real hard. I had the same experience too, it was not really a queue, the only problem was the price. I needed fuel in my car,I was thinking I would use my pretty girl swag on this guy. choi! Nigga didn't even look at my face , he was looking at me, but the look on his face could kill someone The worst part he started yelling , I had to wrap myself around my friend, who was busy laughing I'm not the type to price things , but this fuel issue got me mehn! I was pricing the fuel 300Naira for a litre when in the actual sense it's N500, I bought it, but I gave him a very dirty and tore single N500 note, the rest was okay It was payback time 1 Like 2 Shares |
Five Easiest University Degrees And Five Hardest University Degrees. / Happy Birthday Ishilove! / PHOTOS: 2 Die In Fatal Accident Along Oshodi-apapa Expressway This Morning
(Go Up)
Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 50 |