₦airaland Forum

olugenius:
So, i'D suggest a solution, it's quite easy and straight forward though- "dump her quick".

thanks man!!
although i wouldnt call it dump cos it shows disrespect for the times weve been together. i'd rather say i'll call it quits amicably.
av finally made up my mind

met sum1 else. strong green light . . . .

its simply a feeling of insecurity, thats all

Hi Nairalnders!

i've really taken time to read all your posts. I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL YOUR CONCERN. its not been easy for me i must admit. its not so easy to walk out on a relationship u'v given ur all to build it.

CodeRED:
The OP also needs to make it clear as to why his girl is reacting the way she is. I have a feeling he is not being 100% thorough. NO sane woman would just wake up and begin acting up without any valid reason. What has he been doing to trigger her behaviour? Too often men are guilty of provoking ladies, and we retaliate we are abled witches, Like I care,

My advise to the OP is to deal with his problem with his girlfriend. Take her away for a weekend and have a heart to heart talk with her. Listen ( a men deficiency) to what is bothering her and try to make ammends to the situation. Maybe, as I said, it's something you are doing that is causing her to react in that manner. If ALL have failed, and make sure you are NOT guilty of any sins yourself, then the onus is on you to walk. AS humans we can only take so much. Good Luck,

Believe me there's nothing av not done so as to figure out what her problem really is. whenever i try talking to her she bluntly tells me she doesnt want to talk about it. she likes going for a walk so i make sure i take her for a walk, say some nice things to her, buy her ice cream(she likes it), i mean try 2 make the evening worth the while. then i mention the issue and just then, the bombshell drops. i'm saying this so that someone may not think i try to talk to her when she's in a bad mood. as per what i've done to trigger this behaviour, blieve me i cant really figure out. i examine myself often to make sure i'm not found wanting.

yeah i know love is not pity although i still feel for her ernestly. i'm making up my mind slowly. . .

maedan:
@ poster

my advice: put your foot down, and tell her (and MEAN it) that if she doesn't change (i.e., be more respectful, caring and thoughtful to you and others) then you'll leave her.

when she realises she'll lose the only(probably) person in the world that loves her, she'll clean up her act.

this option really works. It did for me. I was such an ass (almost like her) and then my hubby to be threatened to leave. Needless to say, I changed my spots, hard as it was
to do. Now we're happy, because now I know better.
if you really do love her, make the last effort before u walk away. Therez no Ms Perfect, the next girl you date might be worse. Itz really your choice, no matter what we all say. Wish u luck!!!

but you changed!!! why can't she

maedan:
@ poster
if you really do love her, make the last effort before u walk away. Therez no Ms Perfect, the next girl you date might be worse. [b]You're used to this woman, MAKE her good for you.[/b]or not. Itz really your choice, no matter what we all say. Wish u luck!!!

THANKS, thats what i was really bothered about.

Hi Nairalanders!

please help me out. here's d situation.

there's this lady av been dating 4 about 16 months now. i mean it was a really strong relationship. at a point i started considering marriage. but the problem is her attitude. she's so stubborn and unwilling to change or learn. all she cares about is herself not minding how others feel. she's so domineering. she doesn't have a good relationship with her family because of her attitude. u may say if i just realised it. no i realised about few months in2 d affair but i thought i'D be able to change her. she tries to seperate me from my siblings. my kid sister was once sick. i had 2c  her (my girlfriend) that afternoon so i quickly rushed to her place to inform her that we couldnt have d date any longer because i had 2c my sis. she was so mad n asked me if my sis can't take care of herself that do i need to leave the office just because of her?

i was so shocked.meanwhile this is a girl who begs me to steal sometime off work just to be with her. she's so stubborn, which made me doubt the issue of marriage. av tryd all i cud do 2 change her but 2 no avail. av talkd 2 her, asked her close friends 2 talk 2 her, tryd 2 find out if she has sum psychological problems, etc

however, despite her shortcomings she has some good areas but d bad areas outweigh the good. she's really been there for me, stood by me, loved me when no other woman would, we've shared dreams and hopes together, she's not materialistic, she's been faithful, etc

i'm not saying i'm a perfect guy. av got shortcomings too. i lack much patience, devote too much time 2 my career and my future which she complains a lot. i tell her i need to make some money so i cud pay her bride price (joke!!) but believe me i always create time for us 2be together esp on weekends but she always wants me to leave my job and hug her d whole day. is that posible? when i politely say no she accuses me of keeping other girls.

recently i discovered there's a guy she's been hanging out with. well we talked about it and so on,
but something happened which makes me write this mail. she got sick while i was out of town. funny enough her siblings paid no attention to her. i was broke at that time but managed to send some money for drugs and stuff. unfortunately she couldnt get them due to her ill health which made me come over immediately to do so.

i cancelled most engagements that'll bring me money just to be with her but sometimes i had to run off 4 a while. d sad story is she refused to take the drugs according to dosage and after a while fell sick again. i disovered she didnt take the drugs and politely asked why (i didnt have to be angry i mean she was sick u knw) she got mad, rained insults on me for asking her stupid questions according to her and asked me out. i was shocked. i'm actually a quiet type which makes her take me for granted sometimes. we've quarelled for over 100 times and in all, she'll just wait 4 me to apologise else nothing even when she was wrong. we once stayed apart 4 over 2 months. i just wanted 2c if she'll apologise. she gets mad when u point her faults to her.

d issue is: will she ever change? do people actually change? weve been together for over 16 months. don't u think if she was willing she would have changed by now? i'm seriously considering a break-up. i'm a young man n all that matters to me now is my future. seems she doesnt want to be part of it. although i love her but i need to be realistic. i mean how would my home be if i finally end up with her? the thought of it scares me.

i still feel sorry for her, considering the past but sometimes painful decisions must be made.
I NEED UR OPINION


NB: this may be d longest post uv read on Nairaland. if uv never been in love u may not undastand. i know how most of u insult people n so on but know that this is just a passionate expression of real feelings.