₦airaland Forum

adeaks:
How come u were posted to police. Abi you worked it ni? Your work must be very interesting then. But are you sure about the pay thing? The police lawyers I meet seem pretty comfortable.

my dear o. a corper lawyer in enugu police, i hear he is paid 40k. I dnt get a quarter of dat, but I dont rilly mind. all na service to father land

easrael:
Please, do you have any link to join the force, would not mind that though

if to say I get, height for no be my wahala now

adeaks:
Gbam. That's the way now in Nigeria.

But what if ur current PPA wants to retain you. Would you take up the offer?

current ppa na police. I get peanuts for d job I currently do for them. if they are to retain me,they wont up my pay....u knw dier way now. i only benefit if I join d force as an ASP

Caucasian:
Lol .. God is Almighty. Not PMB
Please

na d ratings dear. some ppl feel d dude is out to do d extra ord #fingerscrossed

Caucasian:
Hehehehehe.. extremely funny lady. But you suppose dey do mitigation and litigation oooo.. abi na inside union homes you wan they practice am? See wetin Nigeria economy dun cause ooo lol lol

na d way o. praying d almighty PMB changes tinx asap make I fflw chop better for dis him regime

tearoses:
Keep it up
You may not be popular now with the "happening peeps" but it will pay off in the end and you can hold your head high.

As regards your second sentence. Both parties should be open to each other.

nagode dear.

harveyspec:
I know you didn't ask me, but my question will go thus

Though I have to state it that it's quid pro quo, I'll be open & truthful to your questions & I expect same from you. I can't stomach lies

1. How many relationships have you been in?

a. In these relationships, did you cheat on ur partner? If yes
ai.how long did the affair last
aii.what led to the affair & how did it end?

b. where they healthy relationships, were you abused verbally or physically or sexually
c.were you sexually active in these relationship

The above questions is to help me ascertain if she is a damaged good & also to check if there was a pattern that repeated all through & to also see if she has turned a new leaf(assuming she was a cheat) to also check if she sought for help in terms of counseling and all of that

2.have you procured an abortion before?
a. how many times & were there complications in any of the procedures

b. did you go for checkup to ascertain that all was ok, I.e no complications

c. Will you be willing to go for a comprehensive checkup with me

3. Do you have any child or children, if yes

a. What was the circumstances that led to that birth

b. is the father of the child involved in the child's life or your life or will there be a future interference ?

4.have you ever contemplated suicide or have you attempted one before(my coz once dated a lady like that, so am taking no chances on that)

5. Do you have any health condition, eg HIV, Hepatitis, sickle cell, hypertension, ulcer, asthma etc if yes

a. How have you been managing it, what's your lifestyle like

I ask this cos I can't be with someone who is hypertensive & is still involved in smoking & drinking (for us to be together I have to see the willingness to change or at least a pattern of trying to live a healthy life)

6. have you promised anyone marriage before? If yes, how did it end, was it amicable?


There are more questions but we can peg it here, someone might say that I'm setting myself up for disappointment cos I will likely hear what I want to hear

That's why I will cite my caveat emptor, if you decieve me into marriage, the day I discover the heavy weight, that's the day the union will end

The answers to some of the questions throws a light into how the person has lived, the kind of crowd the person moved with, if the person has realized his or her mistakes, is willing to change etc

Cc:cococandy

Anaskie come see Bar part 4 question. open test o

all4naija:
Why do married women with family always think they are special?

my dear. its special o. its not easy to keep a home running. I wld too when I get dere

tearoses:
What we should be teaching is good behaviour and good morals from the start
If everyone behaved them selves, there wont be need to hide anything

exactly wat I was telling a friend. I try to lead a gud life so dere wont be room for 'pastgists'. I only condemn d philosophy dat makes women d only once who need to spill dier guts to show they ain't deceptive.

babyosisi:
Yes
And if you ever as much as look at any man and any unholy thing flashes through your mind,it is equal to adultery biblically, that ,you must also confess to the husband to be forgiven.
That is the wife rule
Open your bible and read it
Every woman must do total disclosure to every man she meets and dates so he can make an informed decision
Anything short of that is deception and God hates deceptive women who won't blab


Kitikpa rachaa kwa ha anya dia

ra kwa ma onu shi ha. Some1 be saying am using u as my role model. let me continu

Caucasian:
Hehehehe ... so u be lawyer corper wey sabi tease people so..hope I have the locus standi to commune with you ? Lol.. well, as for that legal officer interview, just pray they don't decline it because of your yet-to-have-3yrs experience. But that of union bank is very promising for you.

my dear o. nairaland give everybody locus o. imagine small pickin go dey insult him snr cos its a faceless forum. my dear. any job I see wey pay well am so going for it. wanted to join force but I fail for height

Caucasian:
Lol.. its true. You are in the spirit. Have you done any interview so far on ur pushcv dashboard ??

yh! am in d legal world. did one legal officer interview tho it has a 3yrs experience criteria and that of union bank. Am still a serving corp member

Caucasian:
Lol lol lol .. you really amaze me .. ta lo wa so fun eh nsi kpe girl inyen ni ife mi ?? Ehnnnnn ? Ta lo sor fun ehn ? O ti mankpa mi lerin ju ..

its all in a bid to bring smiles to ur face as we "push" our "cvs"

Pinkieblue:
O yami lenu o

it shldnt dearie

babyosisi:
Yes
I heard my name

in all honesty dear, I really do not like when ladies throw caution to d wind and behave in a whorelike manner. why wld a lady even av sex witout protection or wit protection self forgetting abt d .00001% chances of getting pregnant or an infectious disease. I tot d fear of HIV shld keep some ppl's libidos frozen in an iceberg. I dont like it. I had a room8 who was like dis and kept on taking pills to remove 'unwanteds' while d guy walk around freely nd comes back when he has d itch. I am not daft dear. I wld never bear d consequences of.......its advisable to wait untill u av a ring on ur finger.

for d question on dis thread likes can only attract likes most times in relationships. it just hurts when it doesnt. if d dude is certain he cant continue, he shld let go. no need seeking advice when u av lost ur respect for dis lady

urchbarbie:
lolx. Anaskie dear. if the guy has never given any girl belle, let him cast d first stone

Anaskie:
Cc. Babyosisi, Urchbarbie

lolx. Anaskie dear. if the guy has never given any girl belle, let him cast d first stone

Anaskie:
Why do you always turn every thread to be a male vs female contest?

The topic clearly said "Things your fiancee/husband is better off not knowing". If you want to look at the male perspective, you can as well create your own thread and title it accordingly.

That being said, its really sad to see such disgusting advice coming from a lady. Why on earth would a lady who had 5 abortions not tell me! Its just plain wickedness!

If she doesn't get pregnant in time, she'll start going from church to church and accuse my poor mother or grandmother for being the cause of our woes.

She was once a prostitute and she thinks its best to keep quiet. If I eventually find out that all my friends have once banged my beloved wife, I'll clap for her abi?

I'll kindly advice all wives and intending wives to please disregard the OP's advice. A marriage should never be built on lies.

Anaskie. hello dear. I for one am glad av got no really dirty past to spill, but I am all for letting ur partner know stuffs dat may be injurious to d relationship when discovered. It hurt me to hear men say stuffs like its only women dat can av dirty pasts. have u not heard instances whr men knw they are infertile and let dier wives bear d brunt of every fertility test all in a bid to hide d fact his workhouse aint in working order? I wld always maintain do unto others wat u want to be done to u. ....respects all se x cos we all av feelings. No1 shld champion d secret mission and expct d other to spill dier guts. if I av done so many abortions and I spill in all honesty why wont d guy tell me how many abortions he has sponsored....let me borrow babyosisi words.

cococandy:
you don't know it's a sin for a man to be chaste?

Know it now.

tnx to nairaland. I now know

ApexTitan:
It's amazing seeing the level rationalisation of deception on this thread.

People have to ask themselves what is important; to enter into a relationship based on trust and understanding or to build on one with insincerity and fraud.

Is the end game to stay married no matter what?

The bulk of female opinion here agree that that is the aim. Don't rock the boat, let sleeping dogs lie, the past doesn't matter. The fact that men are sold a lie regarding their partners is of no consequence. It is what the women want that is of primary importance.

And what they want is that after rocking their party years they should be free to settle down as they please. The campaign is open and real. And so we see rationalisations that say society should be less judgemental on women, that not all men are capable of bearing the truth...

Even Joseph the earthly father of Jesus was about to cancel his engagement with Mary when he learnt that she was pregnant with child, it took an angel from heaven to persuade him to continue with the marriage. No man will readily accept a promiscious partner.

Women innately know this. They innately sense that their chances of marriage are slim if their colourful past is opened up before men so the rationalisations continue in earnest.

Men, Be ever vigilant!

must it always boil dwn to women. When dis it become a sin/taboo to av a chaste man?

drealtruth:
sextape or No sextape, as long as the man knows about it ,he may quit the relationship OR move on and get over it.A Man will marry a woman after weighing his options. Kanye west married Kim kardashian despite her sex tape with singer Ray J, past divorce and numerous Ex boyfriends .Also former playboy model kendra wikinson got married to her football hubby despite sextape. The point is couples should come out clean to each other. *In Drakes Voice* No lies No lies No lies.

see u referring to ppl who av come to terms with the fact that people shld not be judged by their past. The western world are more civilized, and advanced in dis aspect. name a well known Naija man who did...
its highly impracticable in our country.

Chivee:
Indeed I've made what turned out to be futile efforts to work on my temper.. I really intend to do anything it takes to have a hold on my out-of-control emotions& my deeds still hunt me till today.
Just like i've said, As long as she doesnt push my buttons I believe we'd do just fine

amen dear. also dont do stuffs to unleash d 'woman' in her

ApexTitan:
From a purely biological view point one has to agree that the sexual drive is generally stronger in men. The average male has something like 17% more testosterone (the hormone that is largely responsible for libido) than the average woman. This amount of testosterone is mainly stable throughout the man's life. Such a high sexual drive ensure that the man is able to spread his seed effectively and ensure the survival of the species. The woman on the other hand has a much lower level of testosterone and her drive is cyclical, that is, it is affected by her menstrual cycle...

I think this is part of the reason men are generally considered polygamous in nature.

[Human beings are however much more than the sum of their biological systems so other factors are at play here. Discussing all of that would only derail this thread so we'll leave it for now]

why! u av don justice to it. We are worth more dan our biological make up. tnx plenty sir

zeb04:
If your past has no negative effect on the marriage please don't tell me.

I don't want to know how many abortions my husbandhas sponsored in the past.I don't need to enter m3riage with that sort of information.

My husband should only tell me when it affets our marriage one way or the other like if he has a child from his previous r/ship.

If I were a man, I would only take you to a hospital to know if you are able to bear a child for me nd not in the abortions you have commited such things are not a bother as long as I can see for myself your womb is intact.

cool. Hope u wld also take him to be sure his stuff can produce the necessary ingredient in creating an empire

ApexTitan:
This is not a matter of what I think. This is something that I have seen repeated over and over again. Any disspassionate observer will arrive at the same conclusions as I have. These different rules for the genders have been in play for almost as long as civilisation itself. The exceptions to the rule do not negate this fact.

A man with a large number of previous sexual encounters is not seen in the same light as a woman with a similar history. The man is not castigated like the woman, if anything he is celebrated and the woman is condemned.

Cue the Hugh Hefners of this world.

You would be hard pressed to find any female equivalent of Hefner or King Solomon. The rules are indeed different for women.

the question is why? aint both sex humans? Some say the itch is greater in men making them polygamous in nature. pls care to shed more light dear

Chivee:
This is so releaving.. What's the point telling her about my past. I have an extremely bad temper. I have disfigured the face of an ex with ex poisoned amother & fatally poisoned another & got away with it.
Had to secretly bury their remains.
Telling her now would serve no purpose.
I think I love the one I'm presently with because she doesn't push my buttons.
I plan to propose next week

Thank you O.P.
People are indeed hypocrytical in our society.

kai! ure a walking time bomb waiting to explode . on a lighter mode dear,, I trust ure genuinely repented

VintageCocktail:
I feel you.

Some logicians here will think otherwise. A repented cultist-turned-pastor reliving on how he used to be bad pissed me off talk more of a better half of mine spilling how she aborted five or more pregnancies and how she tries to make ends meet by engaging in runs......hian hian. Abeg make we take true.

true talk sir. a frnd I respect so much has gone dwn in dat aspect. A gospel artist/motivational speaker who I hold in high regards, just told me he was an executor in his cult days. . its really hard for ppl to bear such truths. My question is how many ppl does 1 confess to in d instance whr they keep leaving cos of such gory details?

Pinkieblue:
U, uyosolo and abdulleh no Go kill person with laugh

u knw as e dey go dear

Caucasian:
Hahahahahah.. This one is serious issue ooo. how did you know that I took time? Were you watching me when I was typing? Well, as you can see, pinky already believed me. She trust I don't lie. You see ??

a woman in luv believes anything.........just anything!

Caucasian:
Hehehehe see wahala oooo. Lol ..barbie am serious. Ok how do u want me to prove it ? Just tell me and I will ...

u painstakingly took time in explaining dat. guys dont do dat. its a carefully thought lie. #winks

Caucasian:
Lol .. Dear, .. I don't. My eldest sister put to bed recently and then I decided to use this downtime period to visit her..

iro nla

luchee:
chi amazing! i don catch you today

abeg modify change dat name. God bless u sis Luchee

it hurt me so much esp knowing. d lady. very calm and easy going. rip dearest

hmmmm