mirob:


I am wondering the same, because the bleeding is like period and period cramps but I will reconfirm on Friday in a general hospital.

.

I hardly comment on these type of topics and I might be wrong but everything you are writing/experiencing points to an ectopic pregnancy and worse it might be rupturing( cramps/neck pain/bleeding). It should be treated quickly. It's actually an emergency. Hopefully I'm wrong...

Ectopics are treated via Methotrexate ("injection", surgery or sometimes the pregnancy "dissolves" itself.

Good luck.

I think I know your other moniker(s).

Like some people told you above, you need to compromise on your ideals specially the type of (submissive ) woman you seem to be looking for.

Most relationships/marriages nowadays are based on compromises. So you will probably have to compromise on your "traditional" ( archaic?) views on gender roles. Also work on yourself. You are probably not the perfect catch you think you are.

Overall, It seems that you might be better off looking for someone who has a "similar" background as yours: a "recent" skilled immigrant, probably older than 26, in the process of "integrating" / settling in the "new" country etc. But you will have to open your mind to her not being as submissive as you would want it.

Good luck!

UrFears:
Am not in Germany yet, but with my "Common sense" I can tell you, you're not making any sense. Why should someone even change name and identity at the first place?.
Please everything Daniel is telling us here is based on the LEGAL aspect, not some illegal trash people get involved with. And I believe Germany officials are advanced and smart enough to detect false stuffs like that.

He is right though.

Being a Student is "better" than being an "Asylum seeker". However, being a "Refugee"( as in having your asylum claim/petition approved or at least granted some sort of protection similar to what Refugees receive) is in general "better" than being a Student.

As a "Refugee"( or assimilate), you can stay legally ( indefinitely?) in the country and you have access to all social benefits + free to work, travel or do whatever you want as long as it's lawful.

But, like he said, nowadays, most European countries hardly approve Asylum claims of Africans ( except in some specific cases such as homosexuality, human trafficking or the likes.). So most times, for Africans, seeking Asylum is a waste of time due to the fact that the chances of getting the status of Refugee- or assimilate- are very very slim. Unless they use that time ( it can take years) to seek for other alternatives(work or marriage but it's harder these days ) to get their "stay".

In short ( to me), for an African, it's better to travel to Germany as a Student( vs Asylum seeker except of course, there is a legitimate and full proof case of persecution ). At least with the education you receive, if you can't stay after your studies, you can migrate to other "developed" countries (Loads of Africans in Canada via Express Entry where once students in Europe with no possibility or fewer possibilities to stay in the countries where they studied).
You also have the time( for a genuine student at least) to plan what you are going to do after your studies. Heck even if you don't finish your studies, it's easier to get a visa as a student in another European ( Western country).

With Asylum, If they refuse( the probability of a refusal is close to 90%) your petition, due to what they call "Dublin Case", you can't claim Asylum somewhere else( at least not in Europe).

Of course, while they are reviewing your Asylum claims, in general, they feed, clothe or give you some stipends. You can even work but your life is somewhat "suspended".

Many Asylum seekers end up "trapped" or "illegal" unless they were able to change their status via another legal route( in a lot of cases via marriage but like I said earlier it's harder these days).

So your wife traveled to better your life( or at least give your family better opportunities in life) and it is how you reward her ? I wish she could read this thread.

Life can be very stressful in the" West" ( specially as a "newbie" ) and instead of being supportive or taking care of your children you cheated and want to keep cheating ? SMH

Indeed I'm judging you!

einsteino:


and broke if I may add.

But a guy who seems to have a plan and a good understanding of how the society in which he migrated to works, can't stay "broke" forever lol...

Really good job you are doing here!

Good luck in your future endeavors.

gabbyghandour:




Am a silent reader of this forum but this guy need to be caution, disable person are not sick people because from your reply to this man you trying to raise the issue of medical care and the man talking about Environmental facilities for his daughter to make life comfortable which is absent in his home country, quoting from his last message below.

*Sometime last year , my wife came up with the idea of going to Canada ,the first thing that come to mind is how disable people are well accepted in Canada society ,they can school , go on bus and many public places have facilities for disable people, hearing that alone bring relieve and joy to my heart*

I have a disable uncle and never claim any benefit and have no complicated medical issue over the years ,he live is life just like me and you with his family ,and he is a great man so your reply is an insult on disable people, and people who lobby for years to End to discriminatory immigration law for people with disabilities and the Liberal government major changes to Canada’s immigration policy that will make it far easier for persons with disabilities and their family members to immigrate to Canada. since last year ,you need to cover your face in shame !

And careful assessing your previous posting ,i suspect you belong to an anti-immigrant group who come online pretending to give advice but Stylishly showing negative altitude and Condemnation toward immigrant...you deserve to be ignore !

I hardly post here ( but long time silent reader) but wanted to reply to this.

Well do you realise there are different types /causes of disabilities and some indeed come with a lot of medication?

Anyway we should learn to live and let live. Specially in this case where he still offers some advices.Pick what you need and move on.To me it's even a part of life/living in Canada or somewhere else.

On a forum like this, to me ( at least), the question should be can I learn something from this post? If not just move on... If I don't like it, does not mean someone else can't benefit from it.

Goldenboy007:

. The problem started from Frankfurt to Nigeria. Lufthansa ensured they gave Nigerians the worst services they can come up with. The boarding gate was in the middle of nowhere, the gate lounge was not opened so we were standing at their corridor, finally when their staff came - no apology .she opened and we all trooped in like Sheep. I never felt so degraded - worst customer service I've seen at Airports. The flight time changed without warning and no apology, sometimes they made announcement in German without translation. They asked us to check-in the hand luggage cos they claimed there was no space in the plane. Finally we got a rowdy boarding - survival of the fittest. In my history of flying I have never seen such hostile hostesses, the aircraft bathroom was not working properly and they would leave your food trays with you untill you beg them to remove it.
When choosing airlines ..I always wanted to avoid the flying Turkey or those Airlines with terrible customer service - I expected more from Lufthansa - however some said they have excellent service , they just don't think Nigerians deserve it.

After 21 hours journey I finally saw Lagos Airspace - Looked like it was enveloped in smoke and dust - every other Airspace I saw you could see the houses clearly - Lagos had this fog cover that makes it look like a 2nd cloud. The next thing was the German announcement - a strange sound from the bottom of the plane and the English translation said Landing was aborted. Oh God of Moses - I didn't tell anyone I was coming home o - Jesus .. save your child .. Landing aborted bawo? After a period that felt like several hours of prayers and fasting - we landed.. and behold the glorious MMIA that looks a building from a CIA movie - when they want to go kidnap a fugitive from a remote jungle in deep Africa. Our airport is the first impression - it looked so dilapidated with missing windows and broken down trucks. Yep ! This is home ! I guess I was expecting more since 2013, however this is Nigeria. I started missing O'Hare immediately.

To be continued .....

I'm not Nigerian but I had to comment on your flight experience with Lufthansa cause I went through a similar experience while going back to my home country sometimes ago.

I also flew with one of those "renowned" Airlines and I had one of the worst customer services experience ever. Terrible...It's like some of those Airlines employees see African Countries as hell. Unhappy Hostesses, poor on ground services, poor on air experience. In my own case, they even "refused" to serve us food at an "appropriate"time. The flight was late, the plane "old", the seats uncomfortable..All around bad...When I think about how much money I paid for the flight ticket, I just shake my head.

The funniest thing is I flew the same airlines some times later to another part of the world( from the same airport) and it was a totally different experience. "Newer" and "cleaner" plane, respectful hostesses, plenty food, very nice on air service etc. You could feel that they knew they were talking to/serving fellow human beings.

Hopefully one day, some our countries will get "there" and we will be treated with the respect we all deserve.

smileing:
@vululadilolo

thank you so much. I have not reported to anyone yet
hurt, pains and disdain on myself have left me discouraged.

all these while, I have been offering him all I could (companionship, encouragement, emotional support, friendship, spiritual assistance ,inspiration ) except for my body. and he made me love him so much little did I know he would come for my body .

my worth is not based on the hymen but yet I value my chasity.
I'm broken cos I encouraged people to be chaste. who do I talk to. the therapist I tried talking to tried molesting me too

I'm deformed now as I am feeling suicidal
what I built in years just crashed within a twinkling of an eye

Although It's easier said than done, don't be too hard on yourself. He forced himself on you.He is a predator, you are a victim. You did nothing wrong. Don't let it break your spirit.

Look for a professional therapist( female if you fear being assaulted again). If you can't or don't want to, find a trustworthy ( non-judgemental) family member/friend to confide in. Don't keep to yourself. Get your mind busy and fight those suicidal thoughts.

I guess I don't understand what being chaste means because I don't see why you don't consider yourself chaste : You were forced to act against your belief/faith. If he "convinced" you to continue sleeping with him since you are not a virgin anymore and you don't feel at ease with it, stop it...

Life does not always happen the way we want it. We need to face it and rebuild ourselves differently. It can be hard but it's possible( that's why you need all the positive or professional help you can get).

Once again, don't keep (it) to yourself, find someone trustworthy to confide in, preferably a professional. Virgin or not, rape is a terrible assault to your mental and physical integrity.

Btw, If you are still in contact with him, cut it. It's toxic. I insist, if possible, report him. Wish you all the best !

He raped you to coerce you into marrying him? He violated your body to achieve his "goal" of "keeping" you for himself? Very sick, manipulative and pervert way of thinking!

I would not advise you to marry someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and can commit such a vile act (rape). I would however advise you to seek therapy/counselling/help for what he did to you. Did you report him to the authorities?

If he is raping you now, how do you think he is going to behave when you are going to be married to him? Marital rape exists in case you don't know.
His behaviour ( the rape) shows that he seems to be ready to do anything ( even the worst) to achieve what he wants and doesn't value his partner's opinions/beliefs or feelings. Do you really want to be married to someone like that?

There are ton of people who were not virgins when they got married and are happy in their marriage. Being a virgin (or not) does not guarantee a "good" marriage. Your husband should be interested in you as a person and not just your hymen. You should also bring more than "just" your body in your marriage.

You need to reshape your mind: Your "pride" should be in who you are as woman and not what you can "offer" in bed( Virginity). Your "value" as a person did not/should diminish because of the rape( or even if you had sex voluntarily). That's why I said seek therapy or talk about it to someone you trust.

Don't feel guilty for what happened or not being a "virgin" (easier said than done). Stay strong and good luck in whatever you decide to do!

So you are basically trying to defraud her by emotionally blackmailing her into choosing between "her" house and the marriage/children? Wickedness!