Even if you marry someone from Nigeria direct, they will still divorce if they want to.


Canada for example has provisions for victims of abuse who want to divorce. They get PR sharp sharp.

annex1:


Another man missing the point. So when you finally meet this remaining two, wont your current fixed mindset also judge them as that - only being interested in his North America?

Having an open mindset is the best thing you can gift yourself. Besides what is bad in a lady wanting to be engaged with someone abroad? Even boboz will be ecstatic at this prospect.

If you read my posts, I spoke about mirror guy making TRADE OFFs because he cant have it all.

A. So yes he feels if he marries some Nigerian girl he is going to offer her North America (good trade)
Now look for what she is also good at and going to offer him and the marriage. Many ladies in Nigeria are gainfully employed in multi-nationals, single, industrious and living effing comfortably. At the same time they'll still fancy the option of relocating. Appreciate the fact that in difficult Nigeria she is doing well, consider how elevating her to your North America will benefit you and the marriage. As for attitude, as a sound young man and "christian" that you claim, at some point you will always know if someone's attitude is off - by discussing various diverse topics and situations.
So tell me how will he give those remaining two a chance when he already has a fixed mindset?

B. Marry someone in North America that dont care about where you are. He is considering this option and this option eliminates his fear of Nigerian girls feigning love because of his "being in North America"
But NO, he wont because they are feminists and not under 26. Worst of all they like divorce.
So again why dont you make a TRADE OFF by accepting and appreciating the profits of equality in gender, marriage and household duties. Some men would jump at this. AGAIN, if you truly uphold respect and equality in marriage, why would you be afraid of her divorcing you if arent bent on frustrating her like you may or would have with no repercussion if yall were in Nigeria?

My Brother, you cant cut your cake and have it. This is marriage, you must make trade offs.

izzou:


The same way you make it sound like marrying an over 30 isn't great

The same way you make it sound like people don't marry great women who are based there

The same way you make it sound like any girl you meet online would automatically be after your money, because you are in the abroad.

A lasting marriage is built on love, understanding and compromise... Something you have shown us here that you don't have

You're too perfect to marry any woman in Nigeria or even in North America. Your own angel will be deployed to meet you soon.

Till then, Bonne Chance

This comment is EVERYTHING!

saucecode:

My dear,you love lying and talking abt your life on nl, this is why you can't keep up with your lies and stories anymore

Always resist the urge to SHALAYE.

Always resist the urge to be on my matter.

annex1:


Youve said so many things without any tangible construct toward solving his issue. Every generalization he has made or is making is impeding him from solving the problem. I dont generalize subjects because I haven't carried out quantitative analysis of the 8 of 10 that you speak of. If you have, give us real statistical data and stop calling numbers like we are playing baba ijebu. Let me even play baba ijebu like you, if 8 out of 10 girls will fall face down, I'm sure 9 out 10 guys will fall face flat at having an abroad based girlfriend. And will also feign love and attitude likewise. So it cuts through both sexes.

And I think you may be near sighted if you think there aren't substantial gainfully employed and comfortable ladies in Nigeria. Please when you have an idea that mirror guy can key into so he can find iyawo, say it so that we can discuss instead of carrying out bedroom research and generalizations.

NBS agrees with me. Go and argue with them about their nearsighted poverty statistics in nigeria. Generalizations are always formed from majority, full stop!

I already told the guy to follow unnerve's suggestion,that was actually the only thing I read from someone also in diaspora. The rest of you are simply filling the thread up with your emotions.

cooooooks:
Even if you marry someone from Nigeria direct, they will still divorce if they want to.


Canada for example has provisions for victims of abuse who want to divorce. They get PR sharp sharp.

I was only discussing the options he provided and weighing all sides. So in lieu off all you just said maybe mirror guy should not just marry.

saucecode:

My dear,you love lying and talking abt your life on nl, this is why you can't keep up with your lies and stories anymore

Always resist the urge to SHALAYE.

izzou:


The same way you make it sound like marrying an over 30 isn't great

The same way you make it sound like people don't marry great women who are based there

The same way you make it sound like any girl you meet online would automatically be after your money, because you are in the abroad.

A lasting marriage is built on love, understanding and compromise... Something you have shown us here that you don't have

You're too perfect to marry any woman in Nigeria or even in North America. Your own angel will be deployed to meet you soon.

Till then, Bonne Chance

Lmao @ deployed.

The angel is coming. Perfect people them.

Lol.

The overthinking of things may ultimately be useless tbh.

The problem is that OP is thinking in generalities.

OP is not talking about specific people. He's talking about 'abroad Naija', ' Naija based' and 'foreign'. He's reducing every single woman to a stereotype.

I understand OP tbh. I stayed in Nigeria for 2 years recently and, even though I was not 'looking for wife', I still met just 2 people that I could see the possibility of something meaningful.

I'm not saying that wife dey everywhere but dem dey. Na d same Naija Al of us come from.

annex1:


I was only discussing the options he provided and weighing all sides. So in lieu off all you just said maybe mirror guy should not just marry.

pocohantas:


His prick so longgg, it stretches across the Atlantic. Your gfs are even getting more fcked than I am. Some men like them BAD! Kinda like, the devil you know...

You know why I love diasporan guys? They don’t have time to waste. Will they enter plane to come fck toto? When no be say them never fck before. Once they see who they like, they strike.

Jeez

Ariza:
If we ask Op what he has to offer the lady, he will probably say good or comfortable life (material things) in North America . I'm beginning to suspect the guy is into programming or data analysis or information technology. They deal with too much binary that they begin to see life in 1+1 form. . Them go dey work emotions for paper for you.


Op I lie?

And they can stress someone’s life ehn. You will just be walking on eggshells, trying to be Miss Goody-Two-Shoes.

Ishilove:

Jeez

Sorry o. E shock you?

You and saucecode should call me when the rice is ready abeg.

pocohantas:


Always resist the urge to be on my matter.

cooooooks:
You and saucecode should call me when the rice is ready abeg.

As in, I should leave my sucre papito for saucecode? I get brain problem?

Maybe OP will marry him. If he is finding it hard trusting women, he can try men.

This your constant emphasis on perfect people dey suspect.

pocohantas:


Lmao @ deployed.

The angel is coming. Perfect people them.

pocohantas:


And they can stress someone’s life ehn. You will just be walking on eggshells, trying to be Miss Goody-Two-Shoes.

LOL. Once a guy has that "she may be after my money" or "she is probably pretending" mindset it takes lots of work to change his mind that's if it's possible self because at the end,it is either the woman lose her true nature or she stop giving a hoot. It's very stressful dealing with people who are likely to misunderstand little actions because they "have something to protect" .

Op should go back to option 3, let him build things from scratch but heaven help him if the lady he finds isn't interested in relocating to the country he's based only then will he realize that things aren't set in stones anymore. Ladies are no longer eggs you can pick and go "hatch" wherever you want. They demand more than just money from Marriage these days.

pocohantas:


Sorry o. E shock you?

The image of a gargantuan preek surging out of the Atlantic ocean like Willy the Whale flashed through my mind. It shocked even me

izzou:


The same way you make it sound like marrying an over 30 isn't great

The same way you make it sound like people don't marry great women who are based there

The same way you make it sound like any girl you meet online would automatically be after your money, because you are in the abroad.

A lasting marriage is built on love, understanding and compromise... Something you have shown us here that you don't have

You're too perfect to marry any woman in Nigeria or even in North America. Your own angel will be deployed to meet you soon.

Till then, Bonne Chance

Sense wee not kee you

cooooooks:
This your constant emphasis on perfect people dey suspect.

For Christ sake, nobody has it all. Make compromises...

GuyInTheMirror:


Thanks for your input.
While I may not agree with some of your assumptions up there, I was hoping you'd put forward a more robust explanation about why you think that option is not tenable.
It is true that not all people married in Nigeria are married to good wives, but you make it sound as if there are no people married to great women in Nigeria.

I think the point he's trying to make is that, like every other option, there are no guarantees.
Of course there are fantastic ladies in Nigeria that would make superb wives, BUT, you've further reduced your chances of finding one by putting up all these requirements that some people see as unnecessary.

If you want to explore the option of coming to Nigeria later to find a spouse, how do you think that'll work? considering you've only recently left and you were unsuccessful in all the time you lived here. Do you think you were not intentional enough?

Ariza:
LOL. Once a guy has that "she may be after my money" or "she is probably pretending" mindset it takes lots of work to change his mind that's if it's possible self because at the end,it is either the woman lose her true nature or she stop giving a hoot. It's very stressful dealing with people who are likely to misunderstand little actions because they "have something to protect" .

Op should go back to option 3, let him build things from scratch but heaven help him if the lady he finds isn't interested in relocating to the country he's based only then will he realize that things aren't set in stones anymore. Ladies are no longer eggs you can pick and go "hatch" wherever you want. They demand more than just money from Marriage these days.

Story for the Hindu gods

Romangalactic:

NBS agrees with me. Go and argue with them about their nearsighted poverty statistics in nigeria. Generalizations are always formed from majority, full stop!

I already told the guy to follow unnerve's suggestion,that was actually the only thing I read from someone also in diaspora. The rest of you are simply filling the thread up with your emotions.

Mr NBS statistics. Sorry NBS hasnt carried out such jobless baba ijebu statistic of "8 out of 10 girls will fall for abroad based man" and men wouldn't (reversed)

However, sensible statistics that has been carried out as I've seen in NBS is for example unemployment statistics by gender and that was last done 2018 third quarter.
That also piqued my interest considering someone likely and I hope as educated as yourself can call this Lies?

Many ladies in Nigeria are gainfully employed in multinationals, living effing comfortably. LIES

[url]https://nigerianstat.gov.ng/elibrary?queries[search]=unemployment[/url]

As per females 26% unemployed while 25.9% under-employed. You cant tell a dullard the remaining 48% wont or cant be living comfortably. And that itself is a substantial amount for mirror guy to find skilled set to trade off.

Let me again quickly employ your baba ijebu expert mode of statistics. You are likening unemployment and poverty rate of females as sole reason for your baba ijebu "8 out of 10 will fall face flat". So in what order should baba ijebu rate men who have unemployment rate of 20.3% and 15.4 under-employment? "7 out of 10"? Let's make it 11 out of 10. You know how Nigerian Men are master deceptors

Does this make sense to you? How does it relate? Even both gainfully employed members of both sexes would still fancy an abroad based spouse.
Oga NBS has no time for such jobless statistic.
Petition baba ijebu to carry one out for you.

Romangalactic:

Story for the Hindu gods

You likely want me to argue the bolded but I won't here is why:
You are probably surrounded by money gulping bunch of women who would rather choose money over sanity. Women who are dependent , lazy, unambitious, self absorbed and materialistic. No it would be unfair of me to try to impose personalities of women around me on you. You won't even comprehend.

So dude, you are entitled to your opinion, let me have mine. Thanks.

I think I know your other moniker(s).

Like some people told you above, you need to compromise on your ideals specially the type of (submissive ) woman you seem to be looking for.

Most relationships/marriages nowadays are based on compromises. So you will probably have to compromise on your "traditional" ( archaic?) views on gender roles. Also work on yourself. You are probably not the perfect catch you think you are.

Overall, It seems that you might be better off looking for someone who has a "similar" background as yours: a "recent" skilled immigrant, probably older than 26, in the process of "integrating" / settling in the "new" country etc. But you will have to open your mind to her not being as submissive as you would want it.

Good luck!

annex1:

[s]Mr NBS statistics. Sorry NBS hasnt carried out such jobless baba ijebu statistic of "8 out of 10 girls will fall for abroad based man" and men wouldn't (reversed)

However, sensible statistics that has been carried out as I've seen in NBS is for example unemployment statistics by gender and that was last done 2018 third quarter.
That also piqued my interest considering someone likely and I hope as educated as yourself can call this Lies?



[url]https://nigerianstat.gov.ng/elibrary?queries[search]=unemployment[/url]

As per females 26% unemployed while 25.9% under-employed. You cant tell a dullard the remaining 48% wont or cant be living comfortably. And that itself is a substantial amount for mirror guy to find skilled set to trade off.

Let me again quickly employ your baba ijebu expert mode of statistics. You are likening unemployment and poverty rate of females as sole reason for your baba ijebu "8 out of 10 will fall face flat". So in what order should baba ijebu rate men who have unemployment rate of 20.3% and 15.4 under-employment?

Does this make sense to you? How does it relate? Even both gainfully employed members of both sexes would still fancy an abroad based spouse.
Oga NBS has no time for such jobless statistic.
Petition baba ijebu to carry one out for you.[/s]

Took you a while to finish browsing NBS. And still at the end, you still didn't understand what living effing comfortably means. Perhaps being able to eat food and pay rent of 200/300k a year is what living comfortably reach for you, not my fault. As u also don't know the population of females in nigeria for you to claim that many work in multinationals, still not my fault.

Just apply for wife position so the OP can consider u and stop pouring saliva on my mentions.

Ariza:
You likely want me to argue the bolded but I won't here is why:
You are probably surrounded by money gulping bunch of women who would rather choose money over sanity. Women who are dependent , lazy, unambitious, self absorbed and materialistic. No it would be unfair of me to try to impose personalities of women around me on you. You won't even comprehend.

So dude, you are entitled to your opinion, let me have mine. Thanks.

STORY

Ariza:
LOL. Once a guy has that "she may be after my money" or "she is probably pretending" mindset it takes lots of work to change his mind that's if it's possible self because at the end,it is either the woman lose her true nature or she stop giving a hoot. It's very stressful dealing with people who are likely to misunderstand little actions because they "have something to protect" .

Op should go back to option 3, let him build things from scratch but heaven help him if the lady he finds isn't interested in relocating to the country he's based only then will he realize that things aren't set in stones anymore. Ladies are no longer eggs you can pick and go "hatch" wherever you want. They demand more than just money from Marriage these days.

It is draining trying to prove yourself to someone. This is not even about OP’s gender, I will tell the same thing to anyone in his shoes.

You can NEVER get the best out of people when you constantly put them on the spot! Be open-minded and make healthy compromises.

Y'all love arguing in this section.

Romangalactic:

Took you a while to finish browsing NBS. And still at the end, you still didn't understand what living effing comfortably means. Perhaps being able to eat food and pay rent of 200/300k a year is what living comfortably reach for you, not my fault. As u don't know the population of females in nigeria for you to claim that many work in multinationals, still not my fault.

Just apply for wife position so the OP can consider u and stop pouring saliva on my mentions.

It is what intelligent people do. They read to understand. Not going to baba ijebu to collect numbers and juxtapose them on stupid generalizations.
Your reply dropped my IQ a bit.
You by your baba ijebu self came up with NBS poverty level statistics as basis for your unintelligent and now infamous "8 out of 10". Oh you can use it as yardstick to measure females "gold digging for NORTH American husband" but a bad yardstick for Men. You are the S.I unit of confused.
As for the claim that many women are gainfully employed. I dont know what hole you've been in but It is glaring, public offices, sensitive positions they are there. I dont need to remind you how most organisations now enforce diversity and inclusion especially in employment. So for every 6 men employed, at least 4 women are taken too. Something baba ijebu wouldn't let you know.

No I dont need a baba ijebu quantitative researcher like you to conjure fake numbers.

Just apply for wife position so the OP can consider u and stop pouring saliva on my mentions.

And no, I am not the one confused about marriage and ladies "penchant for feigning love to north american husband". It is mirror guy and you clearly. You should be his spouse.

Creamychic:


I think the point he's trying to make is that, like every other option, there are no guarantees.
Of course there are fantastic ladies in Nigeria that would make superb wives, BUT, you've further reduced your chances of finding one by putting up all these requirements that some people see as unnecessary.

If you want to explore the option of coming to Nigeria later to find a spouse, how do you think that'll work? considering you've only recently left and you were unsuccessful in all the time you lived here. Do you think you were not intentional enough ?

I think so .

annex1:

[s]It is what intelligent people do. They read to understand. Not going to baba ijebu to collect numbers and juxtapose them on stupid generalizations.
Your reply dropped my IQ a bit.
You by your baba ijebu self came up with NBS poverty level statistics as basis for your unintelligent and now infamous "8 out of 10". Oh you can use it as yardstick to measure females "gold digging for NORTH American husband" but a bad yardstick for Men. You are the S.I unit of confused.
As for the claim that many women are gainfully employed. I dont know what hole you've been in but It is glaring, public offices, sensitive positions they are there. I dont need to remind you how most organisations now enforce diversity and inclusion especially in employment. So for every 6 men employed, at least 4 are women. Something baba ijebu wouldn't let you know.

No I dont need baba ijebu quantitative researcher like you to conjure fake numbers.



And no, I am not the one confused about marriage and ladies "penchant for feigning love to north american husband". It is mirror guy and you clearly. You should be his spouse. [/s]

Many are gainfully employed and effing comfortable out of over 90million females in nigeria = those found in multinationals, public offices, and sensitive positions.

You are the best statistician ever

Romangalactic:

Many are gainfully employed and effing comfortable out of over 90million females in nigeria = those found in multinationals, public offices, and sensitive positions.
You are the best statistician ever

A lot of organisations and multinationals have a detailed percentage of female staff in their employ by regions. An example of this is KPMG and there are a host of others

https://home.kpmg/ng/en/home/about/people/diversity-and-culture.html

If you learn to read do a proper research you'll know this. But baba ijebu wont let you be great. Broaden your horizon.

LoL in your mind. And how typical of you to say this. I even thought you were a homosexual to suggest it. When someone bruises your stupid misogynist ego you assume it is a woman you are dealing with. Multiple Shames on You!

Just apply for wife position so the OP can consider u and stop pouring saliva on my mentions

Ariza:
LOL. Once a guy has that "she may be after my money" or "she is probably pretending" mindset it takes lots of work to change his mind that's if it's possible self because at the end,it is either the woman lose her true nature or she stop giving a hoot. It's very stressful dealing with people who are likely to misunderstand little actions because they "have something to protect" .

Op should go back to option 3, let him build things from scratch but heaven help him if the lady he finds isn't interested in relocating to the country he's based only then will he realize that things aren't set in stones anymore. Ladies are no longer eggs you can pick and go "hatch" wherever you want. They demand more than just money from Marriage these days.

For every demand i belief their should be a corresponding supply. yesteday i read a post, a lady challenged men to propose with valuables and properties instead of old fashion ring.. no wahala buh there is one question that as remained unanswered for centuries .. Q: Asides "sex" what can women supply.