GodpunishBuhari:
And at the end the masses are the ones to be affected.... apc and amaechi plans is to cause chaos in rivers state but it won't work that's one thing the masses rejected them they can't force themselves on the masses...

What chaos can they cause dats more than the chaos already on ground abi u were blind to see all the apc people that is said to be killed in the post. Mtcheeewww

How about because i am a cheating LovePeddler and i wanted to see wat its like to be a dog too.

What a joke, as a christian even me am not scared for El Rufai talkless of him a muslim. And come to think of it why is d socalled man of God twisting the law i have read excerpts from it and i got to understand it is mainly against the shiites and other extreme islamic teachers from spearheading any unnecessary agitation and ofcos to keep the overzealous men of God from causing noise polution. Where did the law say "christians" funny enough the governor wont take back that law and he wont die but still d followers will come and explain to us dat el rufau must have died but doesn't know yet cos for all they know their god of man cant lie. Mtcheeewww

HOW TO WORSHIP THE NIGERIAN GOD

The Nigerian god is one. It may have many different manifestations, but it is essentially different sides of the same coin. Sometimes, adherents of the different sides may fight and kill each other. But Nigerians essentially follow the Nigerian god.

This article is for all those who want to become better worshipers. If you are a new or prospective convert, God will bless you for choosing the Nigerian god. This is just how you must worship him.

First, you must understand that being a worshiper has nothing to do with character, good works or righteousness. So the fact that you choose to open every meeting with multiple prayers does not mean that you intend to do what is right. The opening prayer is important. Nothing can work without it. If you are gathered to discuss how to inflate contracts, begin with an opening prayer or two. If you are gathered to discuss how to rig elections, begin with a prayer. The Nigerian god appreciates communication.

When you sneak away from your wife to call your girlfriend in the bathroom, and she asks if you will come this weekend, you must say—in addition to “Yes”—“By God’s grace” or “God willing”. It doesn’t matter the language you use. Just add it. The Nigerian god likes to be consulted before you do anything, including a trip to Obudu to see your lover.

When worshipping the Nigerian god, be loud. No, the Nigerian god is not hard of hearing. It is just that he appreciates your loud fervour, like he appreciates loud raucous music. The Nigerian god doesn’t care if you have neighbours and neither should you. When you are worshipping in your house, make sure the neighbours can’t sleep. Use loud speakers even if you are only two in the building. Anyone who complains must be evil. God will judge such a person.

This is how the Nigerian god judges people who are your enemies- evil people who want to spoil your hustle; like your colleagues who don’t want your promotion; like your single old aunties who secretly don’t want you to marry that rich handsome man (who you haven’t met yet); like all your neighbours who are stopping you from getting pregnant: He violently consumes them by fire. He returns all their evil plans back to sender. So when making requests about all your enemies, do not pray that they be forgiven or that they change. Pray that the Nigerian god kills them off with such violent finality that there is nothing left of them.

Attribute everything to the Nigerian god. So, if you diverted funds from public projects and are able to afford that Phantom, when people say you have a nice car, say, “Na God”. If someone asks what the secret of all your wealth is, say, “God has been good to me”. By this you mean the Nigerian god who gave you the uncommon wisdom to re-appropriate public funds.

Consult the Nigerian god when you don’t feel like working. The Nigerian god understands that we live in a harsh climate where it is hard to do any real work. So, if you have no clue how to be in charge and things start collapsing, ask people to pray to God and ask for his intervention.

The Nigerian god loves elections and politics. When you have bribed people to get the Party nomination, used thugs to steal and stuff ballot boxes, intimidated people into either sitting at home or voting for you, lied about everything from your assets to your age, and you eventually, (through God’s grace), win the elections, you must begin by declaring that your success is the wish of God and that the other candidate should accept this will of God. It is not your fault whom the Nigerian god chooses to reward with political success. How can mere mortals complain?

The Nigerian god does not tolerate disrespect. If someone insults your religion, you must look for anyone like them and kill them. Doesn’t matter what you use—sticks, machetes, grenade launchers, IED’s, AK47’s. If the person who insults your religion is online and you can't locate them, feel free to threaten to kill them. Like we say in Nigeria: "at all-at all na im bad pass". Something is better than nothing at all.

The Nigerian god performs signs and wonders. He does everything from cure HIV to High BP. And the Nigerian god is creative: he can teach a person who was born blind the difference between blue and green when the man of god asks, and he can teach a person born deaf instant English. As a worshipper you must let him deliver you because every case of sickness is caused by evil demons and not infections. Every case of barrenness is caused by witches and has no scientific explanation. So instead of hospital, visit agents of the Nigerian god. But the Nigerian god does not cure corruption. Do not attempt to mock him.

If you worship the Nigerian god, you are under no obligation to be nice or kind to people who are not worshippers. They deserve no courtesy.

The Nigerian god is also online. As a worshipper, you are not obliged to be good or decent on Facebook or Twitter all week except on Friday and Sunday, both of which the Nigerian god marks as holy. So you may forward obscene photos, insult people, forward lewd jokes on all days except the holy days. On those holy days, whichever applies to you, put up statuses saying how much you are crazy about God.
These days, the Nigerian god also permits tweets and Facebook updates like: "Now in Church" or "This guy in front of me needs to stop dozing" when performing acts of worship.

In all, the Nigerian god is very kind and accommodating. He gives glory and riches and private jets. And if you worship him well, he will immensely bless your hustle.

Achuwa1:
Weep no more parents,coz there are lots of universities,polytechnics & college of education here in Nigeria..
They should all withdraw there lads from all those oversea schools coz they are using those kids studies oversea to delapiidate the little foreign reserve we have tht would have being used @ forex for importation of important goods into the country,,,
only students going to study professional courses & those going for research with guarantee tht they will return to practise should only be given preference...
why should a student be going abroad to study political sc.,sociology,etc with our foreign reserve s going down the drain.,,abeg let them withdraw all of them & send to schools in Nigeria,,afterall,there are still gud private universities here if u feel u dont like govt. Owned schools..

One of the reasons why we study abroad is because of your kinda English u are spewing out here. I mean why will i want a school that teaches me to spell dilapidate like dis "delapiitate" so u see my brother we are abroad to get better education so we can come back home to make the difference u cant ok

I just hope that after now do idiot will open mouth and say buhari or apc are in control of the courts cos wike has won now and we are all happy to hear that in case of future judgement we are all in agreement that the courts are independent. Congrats wike, congrats PDP and congrats to democracy

uselessgoat:
Why do igbos and SS find it easy to sympathize with corrupt politicians Many of those poverty stricken PDP followers who cant even afford a sausage roll are bragging about boycotting chicken Republic for making an advert concerning Thief metuh While they applauded AIT for making partisan documentaries about Buhari and Tinubu during the 2015 elections They claim Nnamdi Kanu is free to express his views by abusing Buhari and other Nigerians but are quick to criticize Chicken Republic for expressing their own views concerning Metuh. Talk of cheer hypocrisy :-/ Hopeless lpo-Baboons

Its unfortunate for south east youths seriously! Even if they witch hunt my region what do i care? When the elites are spending money on parties and travels did dey care? The government can destroy thier lifes for all i care. South east youths think of how to hold your leaders accountable and stop playing victim all the time. Even if u get biafra today as long as all your rich amd fraudulent elites are in office biafra will be worse cos by then there would be no buhari or opposition to scare them all they need to do is pay you and u will still follow dem without any disturbance. I just don't get you guys. My closest friend is from imo state he is 27 and a millionaire already in kaduna and he only moved there during NYSC of 2012 and still enjoys huge patronage from the northerners in the area so what marginalisation are u talking about? See NDDC now, an ijaw woman is appointed MD and akwa ibom are already crying marginalisation from a fellow niger delta seriously i just dont get it. Pls you youths should think we need each other the same way all corrupt politicians from all tribes need demselves cos if u really want to look at it from a neutral point of view all u have is the corrupt and us the suffering masses irrespective of tribe and region.

Topestbilly:
nothing last for ever...

If u ar truly fighting corruption why Amaechi,Tinubu & Co ar left out?
Your time will come 2 n we gonna be right here.

Edited:

To the people quoting me.
am not a supporter of either parties but I support a balanced justice.

And i ask u this question wat wud u rather have a village where some thiefs are caught or a village where no thiefs are caught because some cant be caught everyone is left to pillage and murder because wen caught the thief asks wat about the other if u camt catch him then release me is dat wat u will prefer. Politics is a game of compromise. Wen the current president came alone without the backing of other thiefs we didn't recognise him cos we only wanted thiefs, we only make dem popular and den get angry wen they still rule us and steal with our own support. I don't support a tinubu being free over a dasuki but if the last government arrested the tinubu and this government arrested the dasuki by the next government will there be a dasuki or tunubu or thier likes in power ? Dats a No! So since this government has started wat we call witch hunting of "some corrupt officials from the past government and the next government witchhunts the criminals from this government, the government after dat will be afraid to steal cos the next government also will witch hunt them until there are no more witches to hunt. So i support any justice dan no justice at all. Arrest some and wait for the next government to arrest others while we the voters choose non corrupt officials to vote. I dont give a damn about any of them they should all kill themselves for all i care cos wen dey enjoy thier loot me and u have no gsin in it. So i support wat u call witch hunting as long as the ones being hunted are actually witches. Thank u.

AhmadMind:
He stated..

""Luckily on November 28, 2015, I visited their house and as GOD will have it, their elder sister, Janet said that she wanted to go to school....""

SMH

I cudnt even believe he said that like seriously even to commit murder nigerians will still say its the work of God WTH is wrong with this country?

Also said they weren't making enough money from the church dat is is very confusing is the church a business or a company were money is to be made? Nigeria has collected religion and ave twisted it into throwing common sense out the window. Smh

Poechichon:
Igbos ur worst enemy is not the northerners rather de yoruba. The own de media, the money and the hate omo ibo. They want to own everything in dis country. So If were u, just stop satisfying de yorubas. Reject anything apc also find a way and invest into media as well. Come together and stop hating one another. Reject dis evil called biafra. And try to play objective politics in Nigeria.

Eehyaa and i had high hopes for u oh till i read the trash dat u came of your mouth so u are quelling one hate to fuel anoda. How far u na!

Maximus85:


And who is sojay?

Just check his hello cover on youtube

Maximus85:
On the Hello cover, Omawumi's cover is still the best. Niyoola sef try., same as Praiz but na that amusa yoruba actress cover make me vomit.

Let's see what vita oat has got

Have u listened so sojays hello cover. Omawunmi didn't even come close.