₦airaland Forum

Hi there, before I give my advice, let me paint a couple of scenarios for you: 1. Suppose she loses her life in the course of abortion or suffers other complications, would you be satisfied you insisted on abortion? 2. Suppose she aborts, goes on to do her waec but gets pregnant again, would the previous abortion be justified? You don't know the future and that is why you must leave her to make her decision. She made this bed and she must choose how she lays on it. If any kid decides to do what is meant for adult, then such kid must be ready to face the consequences. Having a kid at her age is not the end of her career. In fact it will make her more responsible. She could abort successfully, pass waec and not gain higher institutions for another decade. She could have the kid, and still pass waec and still go on to uni in less than 3years. In a nutshell, this has to be her decision and please forget that crap about shame on you and family. She won't be first or the last to be pregnant at her age. Let her know you will support her whatever she decides, if you truly care more about her than your reputation.

Hi there, Your note says everything about what is going on with your husband but you are not seeing it. I have extracted some of your comments below that reveal your situation:

"...though I noticed he bones a lot with his siblings."
"..He used to give me practically everything I wanted (affection and care) even before I asked. He showered me with so much love that I thought I was dreaming."
" ..His office rent was due that month"
"...the pressure of providing for a new family is getting to him"
" ...I jokingly told him he has changed and that day he smiled and said he had to give me all I wanted cos he didn't want to lose me since I'm a pretty girl!"

Your husband is facing financial difficulties. It appears your relationship is more about him giving financially and you receiving. It's time to be his helper, sit down with him and figure out how you can support him financially. His way of dealing with financial difficulties is to bone (borrowing your word) whoever reminds him of that situation. This is why he was boning his siblings. Now you too are getting the same treatment. Sit with him and let him understand that you married him for better and for worse. Let him know you are willing to support financially as you both make expenses cuts where necessary. And please refrain from dishing out a cold shoulder so to get his attention. The last thing he needs is being deprived of affection. Just sit with him and have a heart to heart. If you can't get him to sit and listen then write him a message. The good thing about writing is that the other person gets to read through before discarding your view. I hope things work out.

Sorry I did mean 18
(3+3)×(3-3+3)
6 X 3 = 18

18 is the correct answer

The answer is 27
(3+3)×(3-3+3)
9 X 3 = 27

Thanks for sharing this. The decision to move on or stay is ultimately with you but here are what I would consider if I were in your shoes:

1. Her honesty in sharing her past with you is commendable considering that you have only known her for a few months. Many are married for years and have never found out about their partner's past. I know of a friend who only discovered his wife had a lesbian sexual experience after they broke off an 11 year marriage. She could have lied to you at that lunch.

2. What is Love: Love is when you have known enough about someone like their history, weaknesses and strengths and you still consciously accept them unconditionally or if you accept someone unconditionally regardless of their history, weaknesses and strengths. Therefore, if you truly love her, her past should not change your acceptance of her.

3. I would get in touch with that guy and get all the information he has. It is essential to get all the facts before you decide no matter how unpleasant they may be.

If you have lived, you will have a past you are not proud of. You can go on to have a honest and secured relationship with her because she has been truthful with her past and desires to put it behind her. I have no objection to all these advise on deliverance but let's be clear that the Bible says FLEE EVIL DESIRES (2Tim2:22). Deliverance is not deliverance if you don't flee that past. Fleeing is a conscious decision to severe/separate from the past and it appears that is what she is trying to do or has done.

Finally, do not let this issue cloud your judgment on all the other good things about her.

I always fail to understand why most response is always judgmental attacks when someone posts something serious to them.

My advice is that you do not say anything to your boss unless he asks about it. If he did, simply tell him you were treating an infection and you were too drunk to realize what was happening otherwise you would have warned him. If he does not bring it up then you need not mention it. He is as much culpable as you are. I sense a bit of subjugation in your post; your boss do not have right over your body. He is as responsible for what happened if infected.

Finally, sister, you need to be more careful. You should not be drinking so much that you lose control, if that is truly the case. You could have been infected with a deadly disease. Be careful at future events.