₦airaland Forum

09073600125

when you refuse to train your dog in the way of the lord

08180265259

Add up 08180265259

Add up 08180265259

Add up 08180265259

After Dating her for just 3months, she
started disturbing me that She wants
to meet my parents.
My parents
I was like, Oh baby, Chill now, I waited
for 9months in the womb before I even saw my own parents….

As warri big reach so, dem no get federal university....
Is not because, they don't want it but is because they don't have a name for it..
Imagine lagos (UNILAG)
Benin (UNIBEN)
Calabar (UNICAL)
PH (UNIPORT)

Then,Warri would be UNIWAR

I asked you out you said no. I asked your friend out and she agrees. You then open your fat mouth to call me a womaniser, my sister lemme ask you this.
If you apply for Admission in UNILAG and you no pass, won't you try LASU??

STUPID QUESTIONS GIRLS ASK, AND HOW GUYS
SHOULD ANSWER THEM.
GIRL: Are you a player?
ANS: Yes, Chelseafc wants to sign me next season.
GIRL: Why do you want my BB pin?
ANS: NO, i want to use it and burst ballons
GIRL: Baby, My subscribtion will soon expire, what will i do?
ANS: Return the phone to the seller, and ask for nokia torch.
GIRL: Jesus! Chuka, is that a condom you are bringing out?
ANS: No, its my bank ATM
GIRL: If i sleep over in your house, hope nothing
funny will happen?
ANS: Trust me, We will do night vigil.
GIRL: Baby send me card
ANS: Yellow card or Red card?
GIRL: Can you really date me without sex?
ANS: Eh, are you HIV positive?
GIRL: I hope you are not after my body?
ANS: No, am after your spirit
GIRL: I have missed my period
ANS: Ask your course rep for the next class.
GIRL: Baby, i want to make my hair
ANS: Chai, but am not a hair dresser na
GIRL: Why dont you have a car?
ANS: Did your father have a car at my age? Mtchew
Nwa park well joor

I ve decided to give away #10,000 RECHARGE
CARD of any network to you if you can answer
all of these questions correctly
1. Who was Nigeria's first wheel barrow
pusher?
2. Who was the first indigenous woman to
fry Akara and Yam?
3. What is the full name of the first Nigerian tout
(Agbero)?
4a. How much in total did Anini steal during his
lifetime as an armed robber?
4b. How much did he give to the masses?
4c. How much did he give to his mother?
5. Who was the first child to trek to school?
6a. Where was the first indigenous
madman/ madwoman from?
6b) What was his/her name?
7a. What is the full meaning of the acronym
SUYA?
7b. Who invented it?
7c) Who was the first customer to buy it?
8a. Who was the first woman to spend the
#1000 naira note?
8b. Where?
8c. When?
8d. What did she buy?
9. As at April 2013, how many mosquitos
were in Aso Rock? (give your answer in
binary form)
10. Who was the first Nigerian to drink Garri
without Sugar?
10b) Who was the first Nigerian to drink
Garri with sugar?
Answer the questions above and win a
N10,000 recharge card of your choice
network.
Good Luck!!

08180265259

Lolz

Whr d pix

When you left your former boyfriend because he was childish, but he still shows up at your wedding day.. . Lolz

Lol

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE MADE HELL
FIRE:-•
1: Your phone is full of different types
of
porn movies and you have the Holy
Bible in the same device. 2: Your breast has been pressed more
than
the T.V remote in your parlor.
3: You've had sex more than your age
( years).
4: You see a mad woman and you quickly have an erection.
5: Your pastor is praying and he says
"First of all" and the first thing that
comes to your mind is "Go down low"
or your pastor is praying and says
"Lord, all I want is your......" and you silently say "Your
waist".
if you fall in any of this category then
you
can't make OUR Heaven unless u
REPENT...

DECEMBER IS HERE! TIME 4 BOYS TO BREAK UP LOL!!!

1. YoU saw me sweeping my room and you never cared to collect the broom and finish the sweeping, It's over!
2. YoU don't bend properly wen you sweep, you will have pride issues, & I can't marry a proud
woman, *its over*
3. Did you just call me honey? You are trying to say my mum is a Bee? We're done! *its over*
4. My mum checked my future, you are not in it. *its over*.
5. Baby, my mum says that there are a lot of witches in your village so we can't go out anymore! *its over*
6. YoU smiled at the guy in the car while we were trekking. *its over*
7. YoU don't use my picture as your profile picture, *its over!*
8. YoU cook the eggs instead of boiling them, it's over.
9. Yesterday, you hugged me instead of kissing me, you're cheating on me, it's over!
10. Anytime you enter my house network will disappear it's over and over!
11. I gave you six eggs, boil 3 and fry 3, you boiled the wrong 3 and fried the wrong 3, *Its OVER.
‪#‎Lol‬
DON'T STOP THE FUN .ADD
YOURS

Yahoo guy runs mad

08168170172

There was this robbery in Central Bank of Nigeria,
the robber shouted to everyone: “All don’t move,
money belongs to the state, life belongs to you”.
Everyone in the bank laid down quietly.
=>This is called “Mind Changing Concept –>
Changing the conventional way of thinking”.
—————————————
One lady lay on the table provocatively, the
robber shouted at her “Please be civilized!
This is a robbery and not a rape!”
=>This is called “Being Professional –> Focus
only on what you are trained to do!”
—————————————
When the robbers got back, the younger robber
(MBA trained) told the older robber
(who is only primary school educated), “Big bro,
let’s count how much we got”, the older robber
rebutted and said, “You very silly, so much
money, how to count? Tonight TV will tell us how
much we robbed from the bank!”
=>This is called “Experience –> nowadays
experience is more important than paper
qualifications!”
—————————————
After the robbers left, the bank manager told the
bank supervisor to call the police quickly.
The supervisor says “Wait, wait wait, let’s put the
#5 million we embezzled into the amount the
robbers robbed”.
=>This is called “Swim with the tide –>
converting an unfavorable situation to your
advantage!”
—————————————
The supervisor says “It will be good if there is a
robbery every month”.
=>This is called “Killing Boredom —
>Happiness is most important.”
—————————————
The next day, TV news reported that #100 million
was taken from the bank. The
robbers counted and counted and counted, but
they could only count #20 million. The
robbers were very angry and complained “We
risked our lives and only took #20
million, the bank manager took #80 million with a
snap of his fingers. It looks like it is
better to be educated than to be a thief!”
=>This is called “Knowledge is worth as much as
gold !”
BE EDUCATED

Sure

When u try to carry kidx and they start crying
2.whn d pastor or imam is preaching n whn he sees u he change d topic to God made us in his image
3.whn dogs barks at u vigously
4.whn ur mum tel u "my child try to put powder on ur face n smile
5.whn u look at d mirror every 5minutes
Make i stop

Passport

N100.... Clap 4 me