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5. Respect in our assumptions
Unfortunately, in one area men have every right to read something into what we say—and that is when we have jumped to negative conclusions about them. When we really examine our communication, we’ll be astounded at how often it assumes something bad about the man we love. See if any of these assumptions ring a bell.

We assume, “He needs to be reminded”
To us, repeatedly asking “Have you done it yet?” is probably not a big deal. But inherent in the question is our assumption that the guy needs the reminder—that he is either incapable of remembering on his own or that he remembers just fine but needs our prodding to do the job. What they are accurately hearing is, “I don’t trust you.”

Just realize that his reason for not doing it may be different from yours. Remember, half the men on the survey indicated that sometimes they just have different priorities. Or, they could just be unable to handle one more thing. One man with a stressful job noted that he sometimes feels like a computer that will crash if he tries to load one more thing onto it. For him, procrastinating on something his wife wants him to do at home is his warning sign that he will emotionally crash is he tries it.

http://www.imom.com/the-five-respect-needs-of-men/#.WI75cVUrLIV

4. Respect in public
Now we come to one of the most important points of the book. There appears to be an epidemic of public disrespect for men, and the biggest culprit is not the television, movies, or other media, but the women who are supposed to love their men most.

The most fragile thing on the planet
Dozens of men told me how painful it is when their wives criticize them in public, put them down, or even question their judgment in front of others. One man on the survey said that the one thing he wished he could tell his wife was that “at a minimum, she should be supportive of me in public.” That wish was repeated dozens of times on the survey—it was one of the strongest themes that emerged.

Consider this statement, which I have heard (in essence) from many men: “My wife says things about me in public that she considers teasing. I consider them torture.”

Be respectful even when he’s absent
Having seen how important public respect is to men (it is almost impossible to overstate), I have become incredibly sensitive to how often we might talk negatively about them behind their backs. The effects are much the same even when a man isn’t present: The women’s disrespect of her husband becomes even more deeply embedded as she harps on it, and those in listening range may begin to feel the same!

The little things equal one big clue
We don’t realize that the act of forcing ourselves to trust our men in little things means so much to them, but it does. It’s not a big deal to us, so we don’t get that it’s a big deal to them. We don’t get that our responses to these little choices to trust or not trust—or, at least, act like we do!—are interpreted as signs of our overall trust and respect for them as men.

A man might think of it like this: If she doesn’t trust me in something as small as finding my way along a road, why would she trust me in something important, like being a good breadwinner or a good father? If she doesn’t respect me in this small thing, she probably doesn’t really respect me at all.

The next time your husband stubbornly drives in circles, ask yourself what is more important—being on time to the party or his feeling trusted. No contest.

3. Respect in communication
Women hold an incredible power in the way we communicate with our men (both husbands and sons) to build them up or to tear them down, to encourage or to exasperate. Some things just push a man’s buttons. This goes beyond what we say—such as questioning a man’s judgment or his abilities—and into how we say it (and where we say it, which is the subject of the next section).

The disconnect
In my interviews, a large number of men said something like this: When my wife says something disrespectful, I often think, I can’t believe she doesn’t know how that makes me feel! I had to reassure these men over and over that their wives probably didn’t mean to disrespect them and were likely just clueless.

Let me give you several common examples of how a man might hear something negative where the woman never intended it.

“A man’s highest need is to feel respect, whereas a woman’s highest need is to feel loved.” {Tweet This} Marriage expert and researcher Shaunti Feldhahn came to that conclusion after a scientific study into what men really need. But she first came to that realization while on a singles retreat before she got married.

“This retreat speaker said the same thing that I said in the book and asked the men on the survey—which is to recognize that, for women, the highest need in general is to feel loved and cherished. But the highest need for a man is to feel his wife’s respect and trust and admiration and honor.”

Shaunti says we can lavish lots of love on our husbands and that’s great, but, as she says, “if we don’t also show that we respect them—and maybe criticize them in public or question their decisions all the time—they’re going to feel disrespected, and then they won’t feel loved.”

Do the words respect husband go together in your house? Look at these 5 respect needs of men.



1. Respect his judgment
A man deeply needs the woman in his life to respect his knowledge, opinions, and decisions—what I would call his judgment… many men wished their mate wouldn’t question their knowledge or argue with their decisions all the time. {Tweet This} It’s a touchy (and difficult) thing in these liberated days, but what it really comes down to is their need for us to defer to them sometimes.

Several men confessed that they felt like their opinions and decisions were actively valued in every area of their lives except at home. Some men felt that their comrades at work trusted their judgment more than their own wives did. Also, while a man’s partners or colleagues will rarely tell him what to do (they ask him or collaborate on the decision instead), more than one wife has made the mistake of ordering her husband around like one of the kids.


2. Respect his abilities
Another strong theme that emerged was that men want—even need—to figure things out for themselves. And if they can, they feel like they have conquered something and are affirmed as men. For some reason, spending hours figuring out how to put together the new DVD player is fun. Problem is, we want to help them—and guess how they interpret that? You got it: distrust. (It’s a wonder any relationships work and that the human race didn’t die out millennia ago!) And, of course, our attention is not all benign. Sometimes we truly don’t have confidence that our man can figure something out on his own.

Russia has compromising information on Trump, says report
Washington – U.S. President-elect Donald Trump was presented last week with classified documents containing allegations that Russian operatives claimed to have compromising information on him, U.S. news reports, said on Tuesday.
Read more
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2017/01/russia-compromising-information-trump-says-report/

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Your mum is starving to keep you in school. Your younger siblings eat twice a day. Your father works for his son's mate. They suffer and bleed in their hearts. But they comfort themselves with the hope that you will come out of school and change the condition of things. Your father believes that one day, he will no longer be someone's driver because you will get him a driver.
Your mother believes that one day you will make her wear one wrapper just once because you will buy plenty. Your siblings are hoping to boast to friends about you one day.
But you're in school slaying!!
You lie about the price of textbooks to them and use the surplus money to buy clothes and makeups. You jump from one party to another uninvited. You snap with undies and post for us to like.
You're slaying! Different boys drop and pick you with their cars. You're a slay queen!
You miss lectures. You sleep with lecturers and course reps so that you would pass. You get pregnant and remove it. And you open your mouth to say you're slaying! Hunger is killing you in your hostel yet you call yourself a queen. You boast of your family but hide to talk with your dad on phone .
You've never invited your siblings to your hostel because the looks of hunger on their faces will tell the world where you come from.
You borrow clothes and get insulted. You don't care because the world thinks they are yours.... I don't want to keep talking. You know all you're doing that's not good. Stop them!!!
I see so many girls doing this on campus and all they have to show is the fact that they slay on social media.
Don't disappoint your parents. Prepare to change their lives. Wipe their tears away.
Don't let their suffering be in vain. Make them proud. Leave those boys alone. Let those girls laugh at you. Your parents are more important. Become someone in life, and I bet you, one day...Just one day, all the slay Queens will come to your company and submit employment letters. Just make it first and see how the world will tuRns

what do you think

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Former military Head of State, General Yakubu Gowon (rtd), yesterday said the invasion of judges’ houses in gestapo-style and their subsequent arrest by the Department of State Services (DSS) could be a threat to democracy if the federal government allows security agencies to operate outside their purview.

The former Head of State stated this during the 20th anniversary of Nigeria Prays in Abuja.
He bemoaned the recent slide in the application of force by government agencies particularly, in civil matters, calling for a more democratic approach to such issues.

Gowon said: “Honestly, it is a serious thing and I hope that the government would give directives to the operatives not to go outside the precepts and the law because if the situation is mishandled, it can be a threat to democracy.



“We pray for better solution to those problems; we pray the government should look for ways and means to deal with this problem of reccession which I know they are doing.

“I can assure you that I saw the president before going to Botswana for the golden jubilee of their independence and one of the things we discussed was the concern of the people as far as the economic situation is concerned. He was honesty to say that he knows about these problems and that he and members of his government are doing all they can to find solution to this problem. Discussed the economic situation.”

He explained that governing “is not easy, I am talking from personal experience, theses things are not achieved overnight and a lot of Nigerians expect the problem to be solved within a day or two because we got to go through the reasons we are having this recession.

“It is obvious that because the price of oil keeps coming down so low, at a time, oil sold for $150 per barrel but now you struggle to get it at $50 barrels also lack of other things like industries which needs to be established to help.

“We missed from some of these things some years back, that is why industries, businesses are unable to make up for the shortfall of revenue from oil but I know every effort is being made to address the problem. Let us give government that time and keep reminding them that there is this problem and they got to do whatever they can to solve it.

“Let us cooporate by helping to ensure that the government hears the concerns and do something about it, criticise constructively don’t just condemn outright,”

This came as the Catholic Bishops Conference of Nigeria (CBCN) yesterday said the gestapo-style invasion and subsequent arrest of judges across the country did not portray Nigeria in good light, arguing that, Nigeria is not a banana republic.

CBCN President and Catholic Archbishop of Jos, Ignatius Kaigama, speaking on the arrest, insisted that the rule of law must be followed notwithstanding the culpability of those involved in corruption cases.

Kaigama explained that at several official meetings with President Muhammadu Buhari, the Catholic Bishops had impressed it on the president to always adhere strictly to the rule of law.

“We have been very clear with the president in our various meetings that the real law must be upheld and there should be no sentiments in the application of the rule of law. We are not in a system of government where people are just fished out of selfish or political interest.

“It should be clear that people are guilty before they are arrested and if they are found to be guilty there should also be no sentiments. This issue of ‘they are arrested because they belong to a party or to a particular geographical area and others’ is why Nigeria has refused to move forward. Whether President or Ex President if you breach the law, you are a target for legal action. In Nigeria we’re not used to that.


http://www.thisdaylive.com/index.php/2016/10/12/gowon-judges-arrest-could-be-a-threat-to-democracy/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=facebook

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