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Woke4all's Posts

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Jokes EtcThe Crazy Parrot by Woke4all(op): 6:47pm On Jan 26, 2011
[b]A guy decides
that maybe he'd
like to have a pet and goes to a
pet shop.

After looking around he spots a parrot sitting on a little perch; it
doesn't have any feet or legs.

The guy says out loud, "Geez, I
wonder what happened to this
parrot?"

"I was born this way," says the
parrot. "I'm a defective parrot."

"Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It
sounded like this parrot actually
understood what I said and answered me."

"I understand every word," says
the parrot. "I am a highly
intelligent and thoroughly educated bird."

"Yeah?" the guy asks. "Then
answer this: how do you hang
onto your perch without any
feet?"

"Well," the parrot says, "this is a
little embarrassing, but since you
asked, I will tell you. I wrap my little parrot penis around this
wooden bar, kind of like a little
hook. You can't see it because of
my feathers."

"Wow," says the guy, "you really
can understand and answer;
can't you?"
"Of course. I speak both Spanish
and English. I can converse with
reasonable competence on
almost any subject: politics,
religion, sports, physics,
philosophy. And I am especially
good at ornithology. You should
buy me; I am a great
companion."

The guy looks at the $200.00
price tag. He says. "I can't afford that."

"Pssst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over with one
wing. "Nobody wants me because I don't have any feet.

You can get me for $20.00; just make an offer."

The guy offers twenty dollars and walks out with the parrot.

Weeks go by and the parrot is
sensational. He's funny; he's
interesting; he's a great pal, he
understands everything,
sympathizes, and gives good
advice. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home
from work and the parrot says,
"Pssst," and motions him over
with one wing.

The guy goes up
close to the cage. "I don't know if
I should tell you this or not," says
the parrot, "but it's about your
lover and the mailman."


"What?" asks the guy.

"Well," the parrot says, "when the
mailman came to the door today,
your lover greeted him in a pair
of briefs that showed
everything
and kissed him on the mouth."

"What happened then?" asks the
guy.

"Then the mailman came into the
house and put his hand on your
lovers crotch and began petting
him all over," reports the parrot.

"My God!" the guy says. "Then
what?"

"Then he pulled down the briefs,
got down on his knees and
began to lick him, starting with
his chest, slowly going down and
down." The parrot pauses for a
long time,

"What happened? What
happened?" says the frantic guy.

"That's what pisses me off. I
don't know." said the parrott. "I
got a hard-on, and fell off my
fccking perch.".
[/b]
RomanceRe: Who Comes First? Mum Or Girlfriend? by Woke4all(m): 5:34pm On Jan 26, 2011
Ujujoan:
If I understand correctly, the way it works, someone can have your number as his/her magic number and you, at the same time, can have someone's else's number as your magic number![b]

My advise . . . . Use your mum as your magic number and let your girlfriend add your number as hers. Either way you get to call both of them free of charge and them you. cool cool

Na wa for all this broke backside people for hia sef . . . . embarassed embarassed
[b]If that's how it works then this thread is useless!


[s]i dumped my mtn line for etisalat since 1800 [/s]
RomanceRe: Text Messages That Can Make Your Partner Go Gaga by Woke4all(m): 5:25pm On Jan 26, 2011
iyatrustee:
*as you read this, i am on my way to maiduguri for my wedding ceremony! sorry i wasted 7 of your years*. angry angry
cheesy[b]*faints*[/b]
RomanceRe: Who Comes First? Mum Or Girlfriend? by Woke4all(m): 5:09pm On Jan 26, 2011
agoshofin:
The dilemna here is nt cuz I speak to my babe often or I call my mum regularly, the moment there's free call wiv mother, it'll be like knowing everything going on wiv her & she wiv me, [/b]if it is a gf who my mother sparcely knows, she can just be expecting dat I call every minute, while I ve @ d back of my mind that when I had d opportunity to speak to her free 4 every wknd where she'll only pay 100naira, she declined,

my thinking is this, pick your mum cuz u don't ve an extra burden dat u ve to call regularly, moreso,[b] she would nt need to call u again, she can just flsh u & u call, dat way she is eating the fruits of her labour already,


the gf can just bolt away d nxt day dat u did nt call her every minute despite having free airtime to call,
That's not fruit of labour it's a free thing.

Besides what will you discuss with with ur mum the whole day?
RomanceRe: I Luv My Frend, But Dis Is Beyond My Power. by Woke4all(m): 4:49pm On Jan 26, 2011
ZIM DRILL:
1 the pregancy  is a result of ra.pe  "you wake up to find him on top of you "

2 according to law (i dont know in nigeria) thats one of the really you can abort in a country where abortion is illegal

3 if he will marry you its not that he really love but he did it only becoz you carrying his child

4 what if he wants to marry you to avoid a jail term (if he marries you, you wont report the violation)

5 why marry on shaddy deal like that its ra.pe though you might call it love and also betraying your friend
All you need is in this post!

He threatened you abi? It's ur turn meet him tell him you've reported to the police that he raped you then asked him to make a choice between JAIL & ABORTION. grin
RomanceRe: Who Comes First? Mum Or Girlfriend? by Woke4all(m): 4:33pm On Jan 26, 2011
In this case i will put the babe 1st because with 1500 airtime, mum would be satisfied and i believe there won't be much to talk about and secondly i won't be calling mum everytime like i would call my babe.
RomanceRe: Is There Any Good Reason For Committing An Abortion? by Woke4all(m): 3:49pm On Jan 26, 2011
REASONS NOT TO CONSIDER ABORTION


1. Its Murder


2.Its not the babies fault that you had bad timing.


3.You will regret it later if you have a heart.


4.It gives you more of a chance of getting infected.


5.The girl could die during the procedure


6. You would be better off just having the baby and giving it up for adoption than killing it.


7. There is no greater
miracle in life than a
baby,  so why would
you want to destroy it.


8. You are alive because your mother didn't have
an abortion.


9. Abortion is torture to the most innocent thing in the world.


10. Babies are beautiful gift from God.





Bros so na you get dat thread abi?
Why you no use CD na?
RomanceRe: Who Is Morally Corrupt? by Woke4all(op): 1:20pm On Jan 26, 2011
ragdollz:
@ Woke you might as well ask MzdarkSkunk as she specializes in both :X. RofLol A grin.
cheesy cheesy angry huh lipsrsealed
RomanceRe: Who Is Morally Corrupt? by Woke4all(op): 1:03pm On Jan 26, 2011
190:
Woke back to your question

I just want a lady who isnt a LovePeddler
A liar or a cheat,

Dat one hard o
Spclst900:
both.
Will you choose a love-peddler over your girlfriend?
RomanceRe: I Got A Question by Woke4all(m): 12:54pm On Jan 26, 2011
Somegirl know 9ja finish oo. cheesy
RomanceWho Is Morally Corrupt? by Woke4all(op): 12:10pm On Jan 26, 2011
A
honest prostitute or a lying/
cheating girlfriendhuh


Considering that so many of us
lie and cheat on our partners,
girlfriends/boyfriends,
husbands/wives, a thought
came to mind this afternoon and I
would like your opinion on this.
Who do you think is morally
more corrupt?

A prostitute who due to her
circumstances/needs or just a
weak personality ended up in
this degrading trade but never
lied in her life or cheated on
anyone.

OR

A 'normal' woman who is a
loving girlfriend/wife and a 'caring'
person but has cheated and lied
to all her past and present
partners while being in 'normal'
relationships?

Thanks in advance for sharing
your opinions/thoughts.




Una well done grin
RomanceRe: 190 Relationship Therapy by Woke4all(m): 10:47am On Jan 26, 2011
^^
angry
RomanceRe: . by Woke4all(m): 8:59pm On Jan 25, 2011
I have another NL ID and I will
try to twist my usual words as
much as possible to avoid
detection. I am using the ID
because I will prefer to be
anonymous espcially since a lot
of my friends (both NL and my
present location) are unaware
of it. I will try to provide as
much information so I wouldn't
have to come back here to
answer questions.
Why is everyone creating a new I.D just to post rubbish?   



You know the circumstances surrounding her yet you couldn't afford ordinary GOLD CIRCLE ?

The way forward is either you abort or you deliver. So make ur choice
angry
RomanceRe: Yoruba Girls by Woke4all(m): 1:53pm On Jan 25, 2011
THREAD cheesy
Dating And Meet-up ZoneRe: Flexed Enough, Need A Lady To Start A Family With, by Woke4all(m): 11:19am On Jan 25, 2011
^^ wink
RomanceRe: 190 Relationship Therapy by Woke4all(m): 11:13am On Jan 25, 2011
iyatrustee:
^^^ You thought u did but I found of you tied a nylon bag to your lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
After deceiving Beync it's a carrot you ate it at last huhhuh





Na wa ooo

RomanceRe: 190 Relationship Therapy by Woke4all(m): 10:31am On Jan 25, 2011
iyatrustee:
hey doc  angry angry i just found out that i am preggie and i have not known any man. could it be another immaculate conception grin grin
cheesy cheesyouchhhhh,  Babe but i taught used a CD? angry angry
RomanceRe: Could She Be Cheating? by Woke4all(m): 10:22am On Jan 25, 2011
^^
wink
RomanceRe: s by Woke4all(m): 10:20am On Jan 25, 2011
Black lady? Hmmm MOBO broke the rule!
RomanceRe: Could She Be Cheating? by Woke4all(m): 9:39am On Jan 25, 2011
^^
When did it became a crime for a girl to call a guy?

So girls don't all you? If yes aren't they someones chick?

There's nothing to worry about for just that bro! What if he see his girlfriend hugging a guy? Nai be say he go just kill himself na.
angry angry
RomanceRe: Could She Be Cheating? by Woke4all(m): 8:57am On Jan 25, 2011
My girl: hihope u r great

The dude:  yes hun, i am doing
fine, had a hell of a day at
training but thought of you the
whole time.hope you are
reading for your exams, miss u,
xoxoxoxo, hugs and kisses

My girl:  i tried your number dis
evening but it was off.might
talk 2 u tonight if not 2morow.
take care and make sure u go to
church 2moro.

The dude: So sorry hun, my
phone has been acting up, keeps
going on and off, i wont be able
to go to church tomorrow
because i will be having another
training.But make sure you go
to church and pray for us, okay?
take care princess.
I see nothing to be suspicious about the conversation! Or it is a crime to call ur girl honey?

You don't hv proof yet that she's cheating wait till you see them kissing grin or till you see a message that relates about their last performance in bed.    
angry kiss
RomanceRe: I'll Be A Proud Father Of A Nairalander's Baby Very Soon by Woke4all(m): 9:15pm On Jan 24, 2011
See thread grin You go fear!


Anyway Congrats hope you'll name one Seun and the Other Nairaland? ,
wink
RomanceRe: 190 Relationship Therapy by Woke4all(m): 3:50pm On Jan 24, 2011
Beync:
@work, Pls return dat carrot inside before lipsrsealed anyway i wil help u, i no one prick enlagement therapy. it works, trus me.
carrot get size na.  

where is Dr 190 self?

@MR CORK grin



am outta here

RomanceRe: This My Neighbours Sef! Na Me Be D Only Fine Man Wey Dey? by Woke4all(m): 3:42pm On Jan 24, 2011
Creamish:
. . . . . like our views will change your decision . . . mtscheeeewwww . . . fu**k de go!
grin

Abeg shook every hole wey she get. Make sure you post the link for sexuality session latter sha grin
RomanceRe: 190 Relationship Therapy by Woke4all(m): 3:15pm On Jan 24, 2011
iyatrustee:
^^^^ [s]iya drags beync aside to know what size woke4all's kasanplanca is[/s] is it a carrot, crayon or a cucumber angry angry angry
[tr][/tr]Babe pls come in for counsel/treatment i know you are not sacred of taking injection. tongue
RomanceRe: 190 Relationship Therapy by Woke4all(m): 3:11pm On Jan 24, 2011
Beync:
**gaze at his gini with disapointment and Vomit**
Dr 190, pls what should i do to this one?

I haven't even inserted/touch her with my prick Stethoscope and she's screaming & throwing up! angry

Dr my Johnson is only 20inches long and 10inches thick.

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