₦airaland Forum

Some Nigerians can be very funny.
I saw these abbreviations somewhere and it caught my attention. Look at them:
1. NAIRA= Never Allow Igbos Rule Again
2. PHCN= Problem Has Changed Name
3. HAUSA= House Animals Using Seat of Authority
4. APC= Association of Past Criminals
5. NYSC= Now Your Struggles Continues
6. PDP= People Deceiving People
7. PHD= Pull Him Down
8. MTN= Maintain Total Nonsense
9. ABACHA= After Babangida Another Criminal Has Arrived
10. NEPA= Never Expect Power Always
11. BUHARI= Brought Unnecessary Hardship Among Reasonable Individuals.
Don't laugh alone...
Send to people you love for them to laugh with you.
Good Everning To You All!

TrapQueen77:





Don't go back to church.... Go and relocate urself..

Ehu! I don enter am!

TrapQueen77:





Don't go back to church.... Go and relocate urself..

Ehu! I don enter am!

What Should I Do
It happen that after sunday services in our church today.
My Pastor called me and asked me how much I bought my iPhone? And I said ₦20,000 instead of ₦150,000 because I don't want him to shout and ask how much I give to God as tithe. Then he gave me ₦40,000 to buy two for him and his wife.
Now am confused what should I do?
Advice me please...

Describe him in one word...

I was invited to a wedding, last weekend , when i reached the hotel i found two doors written:
1. Bride relatives.
2. Groom relatives.
I entered the one written groom relatives and found two more doors:
1. Ladies.
2. Men.
I went through the one for men only to find two more doors.
1. People with gifts.
2. People without gift.
I went through the one one written people without gifts and found myself outside the hotel.
Good everning jor!

Which Of These Make The Best Couple?
A. 1
B. 2

kenir:
bros e reach like dat o, y him go carry all dat kyn muscle d slap old woman

I beg, pity the man maybe he'll repent jare!

kenir:
ama do it d African way, him go slap ma mom go alright but after I tie red cloth for African doll call him name 3times, start to slap d doll we go knw d 1 wer pain pass

Am tired! U no go kill me here... Still laughing sha! This ur own go bad pass, i swear!

Who is the strongest from the 3
ladies in the photo below?
A. Lady 1
B. Lady 2
C. Lady 3

Lets see if you can fixed the eyes... 1, 2, Go!

EpicMaurice:
Just kick him in his centre of gravity and he'll fall

Gbam!

ajasa4link:
I go just look malle and start to sing Nico Mbaaga ''sweet mother, I no go forget you, for this suffer wey you suffer for me o''

Malle sef go understand say the man of God needs to protect his life, since malle don pray say she no go bury any of her children, so na her prayer god answer tru that song wey I sing to save the day

I can't stop laughing... Good idea!

sarz:
As if dis OP don 4gt say david nai kill goliat oo

Yeah!

sarz:
As if dis OP don 4gt say david nai kill goliat oo

Yeah!

Bj5all:
Wisdom demands you call the police and press charge for assault, abi u no like ur life

Gbam!... I sight you jor!

TDstarr:
Woke up in the night the only bright idea you could think of was to come post this rubbish here?

Must you comment? You should have read and keep your hand off of typing. Instead of you saying trash!

bqlekan:
dude isn't looking at any direction! he is confused

Haha, has he ofended you before? You wicked gan-an o. Lolz!

bqlekan:
dude isn't looking at any direction! he is confused

Haha, has he ofended you before? You wicked gan-an o. Lolz!... Funny you!

dollyjoy:
They are all merchants of loot.

But Oby tried during his tenure.

Yeah, i can found my money missing here too... Lolz!

[quote author=dollyjoy post=49610544]They are all merchants of loot. Yeah, i can found my money missing here too!... Lolz.

peckebu:
you can do it for Love

peckebu:
you can do it for Love

Yeah!

Oya Lets Go! Be A Genius! Which one is the real dog

Who among them is your best president so far in Nigeria Be sincere!
A. 1
B. 2
C. 3
D. 4

PLEASE I NEED YOUR ADVICE!!!
My girlfriend is dating a Soldier and my friends said i should go and warn him at the barracks...
Should I go or not?

Where is he looking?
1. Front.
2. Side.
3. Both.

Can a Man ever do a wrong Transaction with God?
My friend invited me to his church for a thanksgiving service, and I sat at the front row. When it was time for offering, the offering basket was passed around. Despite the Pastor's charge for good offering, I still hurriedly and secretly pulled out #20 from my pocket and dropped it. Just then, the person behind me tapped me on the shoulder and handed me a #1,000 note. I smiled, so generous. Then majestically, I looked around and put the #1,000 in the basket and passed it on. Then I turned and thanked the man seriously for being so generous. He replied "don't mention'' be more careful next time, it fell from your pocket" Whaaaat!!!!!?......."Usher please wait, wrong transaction!!!!!!!!!".

DON'T LAUGH ALONE.
Two little boys stole a big bag of oranges from a neighbour & decide to go to a calm place to share the lot equally... One of them suggested the nearby cemetery. As they were jumping the big gate to enter the cemetery, two oranges fell out of the big bag but they didn't bother to pick them, since they had enough in the bag. Few minutes later, a drunkard on his way from a bar, passed near the cemetry gate and heard the Voice saying "One For Me, One For U, One For Me, One For U". He immediately sobered up & ran as fast as he could to a nearby church for the Pastor... Father, pls come with me... Come & witness God & satan sharing corpse @ the cemetry. They both ran back to the cemetery gate & the voice continued: "One For Me, One For U, One For Me, One For u... Suddenly, the voice stopped counting & said: "What About The Two At The Gate?"... Come see marathon race!... The pastor almost ran pass the church gate shouting:
"We Are Not yet dead ooo!!!. Good morning jare. Dont laugh too much.

Just imagine!!!
Surposing this man slaps your golden mother in your presence. What will you do

JOKE! JOKE!! JOKE!!!
Please don't laugh alone jare.
A certain family was having dinner, their six year old girl Joy started telling a story.
Joy: On my way back from school, I saw dad with a girl.
FATHER: Shut up! Dont talk with food in your mouth.
MOTHER: No no no let her talk.
Joy: Dad, you went into the bush, i followed you and you started kissing and undressed her and then...!!!
MOTHER: And then wat baby? Say it I will get you a bunch of chocolate.
Joy: They started doing what you do with uncle Daniel when dad was not around.
MOTHER: shut up, your dad has told you not 2 talk with food in your mouth stupid child no table manners.
I beg, good morning and happy sunday to you all!.

JixNation:
I will gladly give it to him the day will meet in heaven.

But op you can lie for Nairaland.

I no fit laugh ooo. I beg forget lie jo!!! Abi you dey there ni

Please Advice Me o!!!
I was travelling to Lagos from Ilorin, on getting to Oyo,I was arrested by an FRSC official who accused me of notusing my seatbelt (had removed it a few min. before when I stopped to buy maize). I begged him but he refused. He said he is going to seize my licence. But after much plead, hedecided to collect #2000 from me and which was the lastmoney on me. I gave him the money SADLY and went my way.I was almost at Ibadan when a phone rang beside me, and i was surprised to see a Samsung galaxy note 5 on mypassenger seat. I picked the call only to discover that the FRSCman forgot his phone in my car. If you are the person what will you do be sincere.
Thank you in advance for your advice!

At comment above me... No! Uhmmm! I can smell lie here!

I wonder,what is so special that Buhari was given a car worth $400k and he rejected it. Is there a big deal in it? Why are they praising him...is he the 1st to do it? Last December Oprah Winfrey called me and said she sent about a 700 million dollars to my account, I ordered her to withdraw it. Cristiano Ronaldo as a means of appreciating my support to him, bought me a 2015 model of ferrari, but after the cargo had arrived,I ordered it to be returned... Even Ahmed [Yes! I'm talking of Bola Tinubu], he sent just N3bn in forex, I got so mad with him, sent the money back to him and till now, he's still apologising! if you doubt me, just send 2,000 dollars to my account and see if I won't return it... Good morning to you all here!

See this lady wey i don dey follow talk tey-tey. Na because i no be footballer abi? Ok! Verry soon i go become musician or footballer. so that i'll able to date those beautiful ladies in nigeria. Emmanuel. Thanks for this inspiration!