₦airaland Forum

Hmmn and you dey read am

myyansh68:
Sometimes I wonder why God ,brought me here.
So shameful .

This your assumption of a cheating partner dey make me laugh

You failed in the assumption

If you can’t tear your woman clothes you are not ready for sex

If you can’t scatter the house or the place when fucking

You are not having correct sex

Nothing wrong in tearing your woman clothes and buying her a new one

Some women want that in their sex life

This is why communication is key

If you no wan tear am allow the ones that will do it in their marriage

Let them do it biko

Or you no sabi bdsm oga

DrTee1:
Bro, e no need. Apparently, this female OP is hurting over a cheating spouse or partner - and is unwilling to accept the realities of the average man's multiple involvements despite being freely offered the multiple causes - by men, who should be the only gender respondents (and married men too) in this study.

In fact, the bolded above is so funny. Bimpe wrote 'tear her clothes, touch her body'. That's almost animalistic, if you ask me. Anyone who can regularly do that is capable of not only marital rape, but rape of anyone anywhere. How can you shred the clothes of an angry woman and grope her - even if she is your wife - because you want to achieve what?

You see Bimpe jumping on every answer she is uncomfortable with, responding as though Married Men who are replying have cone to her for some counselling.



When faced with inalienable fact, she responds that some married women need 'serious sex education', whatever that means.

It is as though the single ladies who often translate to married women later on required 'serious sex education' when they were serving 'the thing' hot-hot to their male partners per unit time until they got married and retired into other demands of life and family.

This is much unlike the men - who ironically bear the larger financial burden of the relationship before marriage and even after marriage in almost all cases.

So in other words

Are husband are for breeding

Boyfriend is for entertainment

Iceberghill:
Wife's are for breeding while girlfriend's are for entertainment

Lmao

Lols

thesilentman:
Simply becos variety is the spice of life...can't remember when last i ate my favourite food.

Lmao

thesilentman:
Simply becos variety is the spice of life...can't remember when last i ate my favourite food.

Oluwabimpe

I have never cheated and I will not cheat

Coder2Client:
Adebimpe, Ọya nún irọ̀ ẹ́nu ẹ́ nún.

A young lady like yourself must have cheated and jilted before, abi no be u ni?

We are not children

So mature minds make we respect our selves on this thread

Let this women share their views Biko

The men don talk

Women we are ready to listen to you

We are not children

So mature minds make we respect our selves on this thread

Let this women share their views Biko

The men don talk

This is why women don’t talk

Allow this women to talk

I no wan see discourage words for here

Make u na no vex me

This women need to talk

Can we at least be a good listener

Let’s listen to them

Starz825:
You no go hear shi shi from women....cos its already looking like you are the only lady on NL

Why are you people discouraging them to speak

Let them share their views

Because one guy don Dey talk hoes

And that will discourage them

The men wey Dey cheat don talk

It’s important we balance this and learn from the women

The men need to know

Starz825:
You no go hear shi shi from women....cos its already looking like you are the only lady on NL

I have never cheat and I will never cheat

Because am loyal 💯

Coder2Client:
Start it with you, let's read why you cheated on your bf, fiance, or husband. Oya, set the ball rolling

Am not dreaming we must allow this men who think is ok to cheat learn reasons why their wives will cheat on them

Let this women talk not by saying this to discourage them

HopeVictor:
If you expect cheating married women on nairaland to explain why they are cheating then you must be dreaming

Am listening

But she didn’t nail it or na him ?

onumadu:
LOL, you NAILED the whole thing. 100%
That is why I was asking her whether she really needed an honest answer.

I don open thread for that one

Am waiting for the women to talk

onumadu:
You never asked about women cheating (whether young or old women). You simply asked why some men cheat on their wives and I told you.
The day we enter women case eh ...

Hmmn

Start by defining it

Kobojunkie:
How do you define success in a relationship as it seems that in the Nigerian context, the men define it differently from the women, making marriage a joke of sorts?

Exactly

addictiv:
Companionship and Devotion are needed to make a relationship blossom. Most people are only devoted but they are not companions to their partners. There re other aspects but I have found out that these two areas are crucial if a relationship is to succeed.

Oh so your male gender wey dey cheat no be hoes abi

Let the women talk biko

livenija:
Hos are hos

They want big dick

Don't succumb to it

Let your woman be the only to enjoy the gbola

It's beautiful with one person 👫

ChngedChnges:
Note: I am not justifying why men should cheat. I do not support that and I pray i don't succumb to it.

Na that woman wey never ready for marriage

If you find your husband talking dirty words you need to hear to be manipulative

It should be a turn on

Some women need proper serious sex education

ChngedChnges:
Lol life is beyond words. There are unexplicable things that happen that there are no words to bring them to the understanding of men until it is being experienced.
Note: Being taken care of and a man being a sole provider is a natural instinct in every woman and man.

I understand you're talking of a balanced inter marital relationship but the truth is, is it really feasible in our world today or just on paper and the internet. We had something close to that during the days of our forefathers but with the tempo things are moving in our current world, lol it's well.

I hear you talk about sexing the wife by touching her right spots. Its good and fluent on papper but in reality it only works in the first few trials. Next attempt, She'll see it as you're trying to manipulate her by shutting her up with romance.

I have many talks but am tired of saying them out

And does the man think he dey make the four wives cum

He dey satisfy the women as well

Or na only him dey satisfy

mu2sa2:
I understand that the bible does not prohibit polygamy; in fact, the great biblical figures practised polygamy.The Quran allows up to 4 wives subject to certain conditions. But in western culture one man, one wife is hypocritically practised - with freedom to have other sex partners not frowned upon.

Let’s discuss

Mature minds

Let the men know what is the reason

In my other thread they are discussing it

It’s time for women to speak up

The honest and sincere truth

Still not valid but excuses

It's a conversation and we are discussing I disagree In This views

Now you talk of older men that go for younger women

What about older women that also go for younger men

The fact is spontaneity in sex is good

Sex education should be accepted as a norm to get rid of societal views

Some women who go for younger guys even when they are married is because they sabi hit that spot right

If men can learn the art of sex and how to make sex interesting

This topic of infidelity will be scrap out

onumadu:
But you are not referencing my points correctly.
You are talking as if I'm against all marriage types. I am not.
I however believe that the idea that all marriages must be monogamous is either a deliberate deception or a mischievous lie, because even the people that espouse it never live by it.

So, let's focus on the topic...

You wanted to know why men "cheat", and I told you why.
A quick caveat here: Not all men would cheat. Generalization is always dangerous.
Some men are perfectly monogamous. They may be fewer in percentage, but they are there.

When I cited a research on testosterone and monogamy, it was to make the point that some men freak out as they age due to visible signs of loss of interest in sex. And their wives can't really meet up with things that can keep the men interested in sex, to boost their T-levels.
Their wives (and this is where the man who said that men and women differ fundamentally, scored a knockout point) simply continue as normal, only to get shocked when their husband cheat.
In fact most women develop lower sex drive post menopause. And with that comes low sex drive.
They lose interest in sex, but live with it.
However men are not like that.
When they sense that they are about to lose the only thing that really makes them men, they react.
That is why men of old married younger women as second, third or fourth wives as they aged. To keep them humming along.
But since those are not available these days, they simply cheat.

Are you aware that a woman slept with so many men about a thousand in less that 12 seconds with the highest body count

We have seen women who do three some and who do twosome and even more

A man can be sastify when his mindset is only for one woman

The moment he already believe his woman can't sastify he is likely to cheat no matter the wife sex style

Men need to work on their mindset

victme1:
TELL YOUR WOMEN FOLKS TO STOP USING SEX AS A WEAPON.

ONE THING I HATE MOST IS reconciliatory sex.

You know I was asking a liberal female friend, do female enjoys sex? Because if the do they will not use it as a weapon.

It is what we will both enjoy.

By the way don't forget it is a man's world.
Weaklings that Oyinbo men are were the ones that brought that damaging mindset of one man one wife.

In war more men ware killed. Death count of men are higher than women. Can't look for stats now.

Who will cater for the widows and those that lost their fiance.

Let me rest.

But you female should just get it into your head that a woman cannot satisfy a man as a wife . Accept that and live peacefully.

Again did you ask for your husband sex and he says he cannot do because he just got of another female, haba!

The only movie you are talking about Sir is your own illusion

Number one I will reply your questions properly

1 Any woman I repeat that enter marriage without having a skills or having money to assist her man is a gold digger and a liability

Why enter marriage and you can't be able to keep the home because you feel the husband is the one to do the work

Any woman that want to be taken care of also have money, because when you as a woman have your own money and you spend it is very sweet

Imagine for instance, you and your husband go for shopping and he is having issues with his card and you aunty that refuse to work very lazy woman have zero in account is not a good thing

Because if the atm card of your husband is not going through as a woman who should have her own money should say “please use mine”, honey don't worry they will use mine and then he can pay back if you want him to or leave it


The same is applicable to school fees and family provisions

If your husband is low on the moment to buy grocery or to pay rent that's why you as the woman you are is help meet to assist him even in his lowest moment but be humble and not arrogant about it

I will wrap it by saying it is only a woman that don't love her husband that will allow him to go through all this ordeal by himself without giving him financial support

If you love your man also support him

ChngedChnges:
1. Then if a man should assist in all these and fail to meet up to the financial demand of the home, hope you'll not sex starve him too?

2. If a man does all these consistently will the woman help him on the streets of struggling, share the house rent 50-50 if they're on rentals, cover 50% of the utility bills, food, children's school fees, pressures from inlaws family and friends? And if he should do all these things what then will the woman be doing?

Men were created the way they are for a reason. Trying to change that will only lead to chaos (take the current happenings western countries for a good example). The same way the woman is busy taking care of the baby and house chores is the same way the man is busy jumping from one work to another so as to cover the extra expenses incurred by the reason of the marriage, new child and added responsibilities.

We are watching too many movie in this country.

Who told you women can't

In fact she can

There is a different between sex and love making

And most women want the two

Most of you men do more of sex than love making

Many of you men will just open your gbola you will not even take your time to relieve her

Make her to cum

You know do love making to the extent she enjoy sex

It's only a selfish man that will just thrust without doing love making

That willcum and his wife won't come

I will do another thread for women lets finish men section

Smartguyboy:
Not possible
Men can have sex for one week but women can’t
🍑 go pain you nah even retired olosho will run 🏃‍♀️

Even animals fight and make up

So because of small argument he goes and meet side chick

He is not ready for marriage then

Because in marriage this is where wisdom, common sense and maturity comes into place

You and your wife dey argue

You as a man what is her soft spot

If it's her nipples why are you still arguing

If it's her toes or hand or ear why are you still arguing

You as a man when your woman is angry

Be a dominant at that time

Tear her clothes into pieces

Touch her boobs

Play with her pussy

Suck her pussy

Then ask her again

Baby are you still angry

Many of you men don't know how to sex your woman

You need to learn it

Dottore:
Well you may not agree but the truth is that having a side chick helps to lessen the rate of quarrelling and disagreements in marriages.

Some wives will notice that their husbands suddenly don't complain about their wife's disobedience or deviance like he used to or he doesn't complain on issues that hitherto would have brought tension and blah blah blah. My dear thank God for a side chick. So in such case he used the side chick to douse tension in his home and to make his wife feel loved.

I have every right to disagree

If you want to have a husband that will cheat on you

Go ahead and accept your husband's gbola in another woman's pussy

You think is sweet to have infections many times because he can't be self discipline

Any man that cheat on his wife lack self discipline in fact he is a cheap man

You think is good for a man to also give his wife diseases from sleeping with a call girl

You look at it this way

As a woman if I want to cheat I will cheat but I chose not to because am discipline and am loyal

There are women who can have sex with men without loving the man

It goes both way

There are women who also loses attraction for their husbands

This is where counselling comes in

The two of you sit down and work towards building this marriage where do we go wrong and how can we go about it solving it

Not jumping from one pussy to another

Or from one gbola to another

Communication is a vital tool

Some partners even find it difficult to say I want to Bleep you so good

I want your gbola or your kitten

Because they are shy base on societal views

Forgetting if this marriage crash societal views will not care

Fix your marriage not by going to strangers

Fix it by communicating and being expressive to tell them how you truly feel

Fahvvy:
You're funny o ...

You asked a question, "Why do married men cheat on their wives?"

And men are giving you answers and you're saying "I disagree", na wa o ...

Since you already have your mind made up, why bother to ask? ...

@bolded...
First of, men and women are different and thus interpret and recieve love differently...

Having said so, it is 100% possible for a man to sleep with other women and still love his wife ...

That a man has other women asides you doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, nahhh...

Sex and love are two different things to men, they are not intertwined for men (for the most part)...

I know you'll "disagree" with the above statement cause your mind can't even begin to process this ...

Well...
It's to be expected, you're not a man, you're a woman and so you would NEVER really understand...

What you're doing right now is using the female matrix of love and relating it to men ...

Just like how women (in general) find super ambitious, alpha type men attractive and so they go ahead and cultivate those traits in themselves...

Thinking that the same way they find these traits attractive is the same way men find those traits attractive - it doesn't get any more delusional than that ...

Lemme give you (and other women) two pieces of advice that will help you...

1. When you ask men a question, allow the men answer the question and take it exactly the way it is said ...

2. For the most part, what women (in general) find attractive in men eh, the opposite of it is what men (in general) find attractive...
((N/B: this isn't a rule of thumb))

Research shows that shey you Dey whine me

Research shows that men in marriage and relationship with the right person they live and last longer

Research also show they sex really good and look very much healthy

Research also show they end up being rich together when they are team player with that they are able to travel across the world and provide better opportunities for their children

That’s my research

Marriage is beautiful

If you are not in the right marriage it is hell on earth

If you are in a good marriage it is heaven on earth

onumadu:
Research shows that men in monogamous marriages or serious monogamous relationships start developing lower testosterone levels.
In fact men in mono-marriages develop T levels lower than single men.

In other words, if a man wants to keep his T levels high enough, he better stay single or marry more than one wife.

Once a man's T levels drop, he can develop many kinds of sicknesses both physical and psychological.
Monogamy kills a man's T levels faster than most things.

Which is why I know for sure that God never commanded monogamy. God could not have commanded something that harms his creature.
The people that invented monogamy did so for their own societal peace and empire building.

They were killing themselves over women, and they figured why not command monogamy so that every man could at least get one woman, and end all the wars over women. If they kept fighting over women, they would not be able to build empires.

So how is this related to the reason why men cheat?

You know, some monogamously married men feel low T-levels happening to them, and gasp for air.
It is like drowning, and you use your last energy to swim up for air.
That "swimming up" is cheating.
To swim up for air, they do things that even single men don't do.
Now you know!

Let me correct this for you

Only a useless man will not assist his wife to feed the crying baby

Assist the children in doing homework

Assist in massaging her body

Assist in kissing her during her stressful moment

Assist in being kind by saying baby I know you are tired but I will assist you and also suck your pussy and if you want my dick to relieve you of stress baby just say it daddy I need your cock

Men you are not giving me valid reason for why you cheat

You can even tell her baby I will give you this money to buy ashawo lingerie I want you wearing it at night

Get a house keeper that won’t live in the house to relieve her of chores and go to their respective house

Buy a washing machine

Buy all the resources that will relieve stress at home

ITbomb:
Imagine coming back home with a high urge and meet your wife with a crying baby and two others struggling with their homework almost every evening.
After such stress, it will be unfair to ask her sex, that's where the other one plays a role. Because you love your wife.

But, it should be just "pay as you go", Only a useless man will abandon his wife and mother of his children and be taking care of someone else

So because my great-father is polygamous I should accept it into my own marriage

Bunch of excuses

We should not encourage the past history of what our great grandfathers did but write a new history to do much better

IgboSomalia:
Go and ask your great grandfather. He was polygamous.

The both are not ready to have sex

If you find someone attractive even till old age dem suppose dey nack

Even with children dem suppose nack

Sound proof the house

Do it in the car

Do it in an event on your date go to hotel as husband and wife

Go on vacation

All this reasons are very much not valid

Spontaneity is key

layzie:
Actually the number 1 excuse given by most men for cheating is lack (or very few) of sex in their homes. For most men, it's not immediately after marriage but a few years down the line.

It means there is something that makes the wives to suddenly stop being interested in sex few years after marriage. Ofcourse one can deduce thats when children are added to the family.

But then once u have a child, he/she will be in the picture till they finally leave the house or enter a boarding sch ( at least after 10years) and there could be other younger children as well thus extending the period considerably.

No matter your sex drives as couples, I expect that it should drop a bit ( when u both start raising children. But the issue is wen it doesn't drop slightly but becomes very few or non-existent in the wife or it's offered to the man only wen he has done smtn 'very special' ie it's been weaponised. Then a hitherto decent man may start looking elsewhere for what is lacking.

This is a mens' perspective in a family setting as deduced from most comments anytime this topic comes up. The women are actually mostly quiet. So pls u can share your own experience, give your perspective in a family setting, few years after marriage.