and in other news. . . . . .

Sorry OP happy bday

[b]There is a saying in yoruba land that goes “Eni ti o ba mo eni ni o ma n she eni”(one who knows a person is the one that offends that person). I used to think such things apply to all these yoruba plays that we all watch in our lifetimes, but what happened to me tends to leave a sour taste in my mouth. Uptill today, i never thot that such things could occur in real life, until it happened to me. Mind you, this tale is true as i know some peeps out there will think it is some cooked up story to entertain nairalanders by someone who has no work or who is affected by the ASUU strike. This is a real tale and i wish for sensible and intelligent replies from everyone. It has been giving me sleepless nites and has already started affecing my concentration at work. Thanks to the efficiency of our local vigilante groups who work hard in our area, maybe i wouldn’t be alive to tell this tale today.

I live a quiet and normal life with my pretty wife and two young kids. I work as a manager in a computer firm somewhere in VI axis of Lagos. My wife nd i have been married for about 5 years now, and i can proudly say we have been building on our home together and have achieved a certain level where i can provide well for my family in all aspects. I am that kind of person who does not like outside interference when it comes to issues with my family, and as such i tend to try and sort out all my issues with my wife anytime we have an arguement here and there. I thank God that he gave me a wife who is so understanding and caring, doesn’t give me much trouble(though once in a while she likes showing herself as one tough lady), and have two lovely kids.

Back in the days b4 i got married, my dad was this kind of man who likes looking after his family. Being the only one that had a very good job(he is a medical doctor and worked in one of the UN organisations), he always wanted to help every member of his family. I had these two cousins who i could term as rascals, cos they just didn’t want to go to skool. My dad had promised to take care of them(they were his late brother’s kids), but no matter how much money he spent on them, they were never serious, especially the younger one. It got to a stage that they started stealing things from our house anytime they came around, and anytime we told my dad about it, he seems to get angry, and at the end start blaming us his own kids for leaving our rooms open. Till this day, that is what caused the friction between my younger bro and him. It got to a stage that they even stole my mum’s gold jewelery, but when she told him nd he got angry as usual, she decided that she will not mention anything again.

My dad continued to “waste” money on these kids. The older one later got a bit serious, but the younger one continued his wayward ways. I tried all my best telling my dad that “u can drag a horse to the river, but u can’t force him to drink” but he didn’t listen. We all got tired of the thing and decided to leave him to his ways. At least he who giveth never lacks.

To cut a very long story short, this guy continued his wayward ways. Anytime he felt he did bad, he’ll come back with an entourage of my dad’s brothers nd sisters to beg, nd he’ll take him back, only for him to return to his bad ways again. I then made a vow that whatever happens, when i get married, i will not help this guy in whatever way, even if it is at a point of death.

My dad retired a few years back and went to stay with his wife in America. I had to come back home after my masters to look after all his investments he had here. One day this my wayward cousin came to my house, telling me he needs money for skool, that he had repented finally, this nd that. I first refused but my wife pleaded, and with others like my dad’s sisters and other entourages, i ended up giving him the money. I later realised that he used the money for one useless business deal that flopped. To say i was mad was an understatement. I called my dad in US and told him that i will not do anything for that guy again. He started pleading but i didn’t listen. The next time the dude came to my house, i told the security guard to chase him away.

Last month, some thieves came to my house in the dead of the nite. That day was horror. They broke into my flat, ransacked the whole house, nd started beating my wife nd kids. I pleaded with them to leave my family alone. One of them shot my little boy in his shoulder. They later carted away so many things, but the life of my kid was what mattered to me most. I rushed him to a private hospital where they referred him to the General hospital. I thot he was going to die as he kept on passing out in my arms while my wife nd his sister kept on wailing. He was rushed into surgery, and to God’s glory, he survived.

It was about two days later that i got a call that these thieves had been caught, and that after so much beating, they started confessing. I got to know that it was this my wayward cousin that sent them after me to teach me a lesson. We planned with one of the robbers to catch him on the pretext that we will be lenient on him. He was finally arrested, but didn’t seem to be remorseful about his act. I had to call one of my friends who is a brigadier in the army, who then arrested him and took him to a guardroom in their barracks in ikeja. I didn’t trust the police, and this my friend nd i were classmates way back in secondary skool for almost 6 years.

When my folks heard, my dad flew back into the country. Everyone started pleading, telling me to forgive the guy, but for all i care, he shld die in the soldier’s cell. What would have happened if my son had died? He is not yet 5 years old. I told them all to leave me alone and ask my cousin why he did the deed. My wife still lives with the torment of almosl loosing one of her babies to a bunch of hoodlums, masterminded by a thug who calls himself my cousin. I told my soldier friend that unless he hears me say it, he shouldn’t release the guy. The last i heard, they kept on dealing with him in the cell and he was always pleading for his life.[/b]

I want to thank all of you people for ur replies, for all the solutions and criticisms made. Like what some people said, it is not easy for someone to learn that he will not be a father. I know i acted like a jerk. i realise i messed up by treating my wife like a slave instead of holding her close to my heart and finding a soluttion to the problem at hand.

I've begged her to come back home. She ended up staying in her older sister's house on the island. At first he did not want to see me, she even told the guard to chase me out of the compound. I later sent her flowers, chocolates(i know she loves chocolates alot, one of the things i used to win her heart back then in school), I even wrote her a poem telling her how sorry i was to have treated her that way. i guess that softened her heart cos she called me yesterday. At first she was acting all tough-like, but knowing my wife, i knew it was just a screen behind which she was hiding her emotions. i apologised to her and after begging and begging her, she told me she would only come back except i agree to some terms.

I'm still lonely in the house. Like someone suggested, we'll both go to another hospital to ascertain the ase from another angle. whatever happens then, we'll know. But i know that once she comes back, i'll have to treat her like a queen that she is. i have a lot of pampering to give her.

This is the story of my life, an issue which i wouldn’t normally brought out to the public, but things have really gotten out of hand and i need help from any angle i can get.

I grew up in a very poor neighbourhood in the squalors of my village in Oyo State. My parents were peasant farmers who could hardly afford money for my education, so i had to drop out of school when i got to primary five to start working on my father’s farm. It pained me in my heart to see all my mates dressed in bright school uniforms, carrying their bags and bouncing happily to school, but there was nothing i could do. So i had to help my parents in anyway i could to feed us and give our family a form of life to live. But i was gifted with a very sharp brain, and i was also lucky to have so many friends in the neighbourhood, and as such i had the opportunity to read their books with them.

One day when i was about ten years old, one of my dad’s nephews came home after so many years overseas. He saw the situation our family was in and he was so moved. Being that my dad virtually brought him up when the goings were still good(i had not been born then, so i was told the story), he wanted to do anything possible to help out. He told my parents that he came home to start plans on settling down finally, and he needed a hand in town. He decided that he’ll take me with him, and in return for all i’ll do for him, he’ll send me to school. I was so happy, but my mother was a bit reluctant. After so much persuation and promisies, she had to agree. I was overjoyed.

That’s how the man shipped me off to Lagos. He enrolled me into one of the schols there. Being the oldest in the class, i was at first ashamed, but with dedication to work, everyone began to respect me. I was made a prefect in the school. My uncle was so happy at my progress at school, and his children came to love me like a big brother when they finally came back.

The years rolled by. I went to the university, graduated with flying colors, and got a good job. I later met a lady and we fell in love, and after about 3 years courting, we got married.

For the next two years, my wife didn’t get pregnant. We tried so many methods, but all to no avail. We then decided to see the doctor, and it was at the hospital that i got a shock. On the appointed day, doctor told me i was virile and capable of having a child. He then tested my wife. It was the result after the test that gave me the shock. The first question he asked my wife was “have you ever had an abortion before?”. When he asked this, my heart jumped into my mouth. I recalled when we just started dating that she had told me about her past life, how her first boyfriend had used her and dumped her when she got pregnant, how she had aborted the pregnancy and nearly died from complications from the abortion. I never knew such a thing could now come and haunt our marriage of three years.

The doctor told us that as a result of the abortion then, the lining of her womb had all but been destroyed, and as a result the fertilised eggs had been refusing to attach to it. It wasn’t that she couldn’t get pregnant, but due to her weak lining, the blood flow will flush the fertilised eggs off the womb during her menses. It would be very hard for her to have a child.

My wife wept all the way home that night. I couldn’t bear the fact that i was being haunted by an incident i knew nothing about, something that wasn’t related to me in any way.

For the next two months, i treated her like a slave. I now look back and realise that what i did to her all that while was heartless. I was blinded by my grief. I got annoyed at any little thing she did, and even stopped making love to her. one evening, she came to me and told me that she knew i was sad, and that she knew how bad i felt about her not being able to have my child. She had decided that she’ll leave my life and i should get another wife. That statement she made opened my eyes to all what i had been doing to her. i thought she was joking until the following week when a plaintif of the court brought a summons from my wife nullifying our marriage. She wanted a divorce.

I realised i had gone too far. I tried calling her but she switched her phone off. I rushed home and saw she had packed her luggage out of the house. I tried calling her parents, but was told they didn’t know where she was.

I have been begging her to come back home since then. I refused to sign the summons of the court. I told her i would turn back to being the loving husband she knew before. I don’t know what to do again.