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^^people with functional brains, thats who.

i tried a new business venture but i think a have tooo many personel on my staff
and u know what they say, too many c[i]r[/i]ooks spoil the broth[b]el[/b]

error. invalid query format. do you wish to revise script?

okay

;DTHE BITCH-SLAP MANEUVER

A Concise Report on This Sociological Practice; Its Usage, Its Impact and Implication

Don T. Myndhim
Disclaimer:

This report is based on research carried out with consenting models aged over 18 years in simulated sessions. Documented response often does not represent real-life response as results may vary from legal trouble to aggravated physical assault.

The publisher of this report assumes no responsibility for the use, misuse or abuse of the information contained herein or any damage, loss or injury caused or sustained as a result of using this information. This information must be used at the discretion, or in most cases, indiscretion, of the user.
Description:

The Bitch-Slap Maneuver is a typical open-handed strike directed to the recipient’s face or the head which is primarily a gesture of aggression and, secondarily, an insulting act. This is executed with the front of the palm as opposed to the love-vendor-Slap (aka The Baqhande Method), which is performed with the back of the palm. The Bitch-slap is optimally applied at right angles to the face, but for theatrical purposes maybe struck at a 30-45˚ angle to the face. This, however, is at the expense of efficiency.

A Bitch-Slap can be incited as an insult or for punitive purposes but is not frequently used as a pugilist tool except in catfights. It is mostly used by females on both sexes, or males on females-hence the name, ‘bitch-slap’- and rarely by males on males except when used as an offensive, inflammatory or derogatory gesture.

Bitch-Slap is a milder form of the love-vendor-Slap Technique which is not usually used by females but is used almost exclusively on them.
Effects:

Bitch-Slap’s most popular use is as an ego-defacing tool. Studies show a 0.4 index ego decrease in simulated model researches. A geometrical decrease dependent on the number of witnesses present and familiarity with witnesses has also been observed. In these studies, it was noted that the more dramatic the experience, the more effective the result. For example, a louder bitch-slap will elicit more response than a more painful one.

Bitch-slap as a punitive tool hinges on the psychological correlation of displeasure converted to a hostile corporeal act and its application to a sensitive part of the physique. The proximity of the brain to the point of contact may be a contributing factor but the hypothesis has not been proved. Bitch-slaps often promote lachrymal stimulation (tear-formation) which is a vulnerability state and image-status degrader.

Bitch slap may be stress-defusing or a conflict escalator depending on various erratic factors

I recently uploaded a very fancy blogger template which I fell in love. Unfortunately, it has some minor problems. The blog has a preview feature on the home page where you could view the first segment of any post before deciding to read more. The problem is that instead of showing this, it sometimes displays only the name of the post and this error msg:

Normal 0 false false false EN-US X-NONE X-NONE ,

I need help to fix this, pls.

This is my blog:www.yakayakayak..com

u r welcome

I can almost hear the nut-sicles yellin tortured agony! AARRRGGGHHHH!!!

Man shall not leave by bread alone,
, or he risks the scourge of kwashiokor.

but seeriouslee somthing is rung wiz dis post counter. i know i have done more than 24.

Think what would hv happened if the used the rattle of gunfire in Rambo. the man's heart 4 explode!

I shout out to:
Me- very cool fella,but sometimes diffident
Myself- crazy dude, very crazy dude
I- the line that blends them both

did som1 say split personalities

whre is the condom factory. I'll be taking ur whole stock. I hope u'll be restocked by nxt wk. Hey, back that truck up inside here.

We have never been on good terms. But she cld b seductive sometimes, esp when my guard's down.

Oh neva mind. Pretty advanced stuff.

I need this info pretty desperately. Pls.

This is the type of terrorist we should beware of most: the one that will incite masses to cause mayhem. Someone should do the world a favor n muzzle that guy

mostly cerebral flatulence
no ofe nsi(?geddit)

I recently updated my status on Facebook with a statement that I hoped will spark a philosophical discussion on various viewpoints and merits of such. The first commenter veered it into a tangent, destroying any hope of sensible arguments and it morphed into a low brow battle of wits and pun, and it all went downhill from there. I may not be blameless in this matter as I was a willing, even enthusiastic, participant.

Igbokwe E**ka

Some see d picture 4rm d front, others 4rm d back. But I see it 4rm d a55h0l3. U may b shocked by looking thru my lens, but I wouldn't swap dat view 4 anything!

Nonso Nna**de U must hv a fetish attachment 2 BULL5h1t; dats d only ting u see when u stare up d a55.

Yesterday at 7:18pm via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka Yeah. And, FYI, we r approaching d 'Age of BULL5h1t'. I'm just gettin ready 2 rule d new age.

Yesterday at 7:38pm via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Nonso Nna**de Hahaha! Hvnt u hrd of Operation Kill the COWs? Dat age of urs aint coming. Get real!

Yesterday at 7:58pm via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka We are already training cattle as freedom fighters and insurgents. They r called The ReBULLious COWmbatants. U wont b meeting defenseless HERDs, no sir!

Yesterday at 8:06pm via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Nonso Nna**de U mean The BULLying COWards? I got 2 warn u dat our troops dont fire ordinary BULLets.

Yesterday at 8:17pm via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka We used radiation treatments on them and made them MOOtants; ur attacks will have no effects on them whatsoever.

Yesterday at 8:31pm via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Nonso Nna**de Lets lock HORNS then!

Yesterday at 8:42pm via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka Then I will leave that to my BULLs to handle it. Welcome 2 d dawn of a MOO Age.

Yesterday at 8:46pm via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Kaycee J E**h Interesting, guys continue

22 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka Kaycee, arrange make we sue this mass MOOderer to COWrt!

22 hours ago • LikeUnlike

Nonso Nna**de Court? Hahaha! Our judges hv UDDER MOOre impHORNtant tings 2 do wit deir time.

21 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka I see u r being HERDheaded. I will dispatch a team of sCOWts to recon ur location, some underCOWver agents to prepare the operation to MOOtilate ur intelligence outfit.

21 hours ago • LikeUnlike

Nonso Nna**de They all should say the GRAZE before walkin into my HIDEout.

17 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka of COWrse, d GRAZE BEEFore meals! They will consume your BULLigerent COWmrades.

17 hours ago • LikeUnlike

Nonso Nna**de So u guys want BEEF,huh? Do u have the TEAT 4 it?

16 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka Bring it HORN! Whatever you got can't GRAZE our BULLwark! MOOreover ur bunch r dimBULLbs who'll b easily COWed.

16 hours ago • LikeUnlike

Nonso Nna**de My CALFtains re ready. We'll MOOw u down. Pick a CATTLEground, sorry, battleground and lets MEAT there.

14 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka Says u n what army. Just a sCOWl 4rm d HERDend men of mine will make u MOOT. HEIFER thee well. What i'll do 2 u need not b HERD-ralded.

14 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka I can see u r now afrHAYd of me. I VEAL have shown u if u continued 2 flex ur MUZZLEs @ us.

11 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Nonso Nna**de Stop babBULLing. Step into d aREARna and witness ur MATADORm.

11 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka I think its PASTURE bedtime.For u 2 continue this FODDER is just OXEN 4 trouble. I'll eliminate all ur RUMINANTS!

11 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Nonso Nna**de NEIGH! U re d 'ORN PENcilled for elimination. U OFFAL people know i always WEAN!

11 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka HOOFinks u cld WEAN. Now we are fully entRANCHed, we will keep STEAKing in your FLANKS. I have UDDERestiMATED u long enough and am sick of ur pOESTROUS.

10 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Nonso Nna**de Dont u ever give HUMP? U must be at ur WHEAT's end. Take a break i imPLOUGH.

10 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka I was about 2 STEER away. I just want u 2 know we are STRAWng FORAGE has made us so 2 survive the ROUGHAGE ahead. I HERBy declare a staleMATE.

9 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Igbokwe E**ka By d way, u r so good with BULL5h1t that i think u will do well in d coming age. Viva la BULL5h1T!

9 hours ago via Facebook Mobile • LikeUnlike

Nonso Nna**de Ahem to dat!

I have always wondered how much it costs to start up and run a boarding secondary school in Nigeria. I would be delighted to recieve very detailed answers or suggestions to get such. If you could, pls state the costs under categories like fixed assets, recurring costs, staff salsries and so on. Your much-hoped-for help is appreciated.

Come on guys, its ok to say how bad u r. Dont b shy. I wont bite.

Continued here
When the banks got remodeled and got their new tube security doors with metal detectors installed, I visited my bank with my brother. He stepped into the door first. The other door refused to open. Then the electronic voice said, ‘Please exit and leave all metal objects in the box outside.’ He stepped outside, deposited his keys and other metal items, returned and was let through. I was next. When I stepped in, I set off a series of ear-splitting shrieks of alarm. The machine squealed, ‘Please exit and leave all WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION in the nearest MILITARY ARMORY.’ As there was no way I could get through save amputation, I had to leave. I don’t visit banks anymore.

The reason I was disqualified from the 1998—and all subsequent—World Kumite Karate Championships is that all other contestant registered their limbs as ‘Lethal Weapons’. I registered mine by their God-given attribute: ‘Mass Killer.’ They were ill-equipped to handle that.

The last time I farted, 2 people almost lost their lives. A series of operations and medical procedures was necessary to defuse the threat. After a series of operations: colonic bypasses, rectal filter maneuvers, gastric ferment-flux stabilizing processes and all medical what-nots—I was assured it would never happen again. And it never has. Now after a heavy bean-based meal with my friends, when a fart is perceived and no one’s passed out on the floor, it absolves me of the need to say, “It wasn’t me.”

Mosquitoes (or insects in general) biting me only do it as a suicide attempt; they just bite and die. Parasites in my blood get enslaved by my white blood cells. Vials of my blood cells are scattered in so many research facilities around the world where they are trying to isolate this elusive tyrant gene. It’s called the Triple X gene.

I don’t go to movies anymore; I’m tired of watching the confusion of my favorite actors when I watch them. In Rocky, Sylvester Stallone gets beaten because he usually is so nervous and afraid watching me watching him that he loses focus. In Vietnam War movies, the ambushing locals burst out of cover and run away if I as much as say ‘boo’. Cocky and confident Chris Tucker develops a stutter (“D-d-d-you unnerstand the wuh-wuh-wuh-uds that are coming out of my ma-ma-mouth!”); I just ruin the viewing experience for everyone. Chuck Norris goes cluck, cluck, cluck when he sees me and the Incredible Hulk gets wimpy and shadowphilic. The most exasperating is when James Bond, prior to ogling any chick he is likely to bone in the movie, cocks his head to my general direction and asks, “Is she yours?”. I shake my head like twenty-one times in a Bond flick. I also won’t watch three in a row or I’d strain my neck from all that exercise. And who the hell is Jack Bauer? The dude becomes very diplomatic and pacifist when I’m in the audience, like; “Please don’t kill our President” to a 6 year old with a slingshot. Enough said.

http://yakayakayak..com/2010/12/his-badness-i-heard-ruggedman-on-one-of.html

This is the jokes section, innit? Who looks for useful (or factual) info here? Just saying.

I think you are missing the basic point here.

I heard Ruggedman on one of his singles, ‘Me N My Swagger’, with Ice Prince saying, ‘I too bad…’ The rest of what he said I was unable to catch. It sounded like he had too much spittle in his mouth—maybe he was taking the phrase, ‘spitting lyrics’ too literal. I heard korusi, jamisi and sanusi, words that made no sense to me. It occurred to me that he was uttering words which will be inadmissible against him if he is arraigned to the Badness Tribunal because they are gibberish. This is because on the badness scale, he is yet to attain Level Zero. This was also one of the reasons Wacko Jacko got broke; the BT sued his ass for his ‘Bad’ hit song.

While Ruggedman is still a Jambite seeking admission, I am like the Vice-Chancellor of University of Bad. There has been a paradigm shift in the study of the evolutionary philosophy of badness: I am no longer studied as the mimesis of bad, bad is now studied as a philosophical abstraction of me. I looked up the word ‘bad’ in the dictionary and I was the only example featured. I googled it and the first 5 results were articles on my badassry. The world was created in eight days, most biblical records omit this: And on the eighth day, the Divine created him (that’s me, obviously) out of the fabric of the yang. And he completed it and saw that it was very bad. And the gathering of Badness, He called [me]. And He said, Go unto the world and show them…WHO’S BAD! *drumbeat of Michael Jackson’s Bad*

I once beat 11 men. As a direct result, 15 men died instantly, 13 were permanently paralyzed and 12 were hospitalized for over a year for serious internal injuries. You do the math. On one cold harmattan night, I encountered an armed robber sticking an old woman up. In anger, I picked up a deflated party balloon and clubbed the idiot unconscious. Anything heavier and I would have disintegrated him. In 1994, I decapitated a goat with one stroke of a blade of grass. I once climbed a NEPA pole without harness with two chicks on one arm, holding a 270 pound, 6 foot 6 inch wrestler in a half nelson with the other hand, smoking a 40 inch cigar and pulling a two ton weight with my foot. In a similar incident, I hugged a NEPA transformer. The transformer got electrified and blew and this put our whole hood in a 1-month blackout.

I am so bad I exude legendary amounts of ultra-concentrated testosterone. I am currently working on a business deal with the pharmaceutical giant, GlaxoSmithKline, to market this product under the name, ‘Liquid Hunk.’ A single drop would have even the most delicate chick a veritable Incredible Hulk with a Rick Ross beard for a day. I briefly attended Xavier’s School of the Gifted—re: X-Men Trilogy—where Dr. Gray and The Professor examined a peculiar part of my anatomy; my balls were made of adamantium. I didn’t stay long there and this, I think, was related to several scenes of pandemonium which my presence caused in the midst of the mutants. The Professor asked me to leave and I obliged for the good of the public.

When I play football with my friends we pick 11 players per team. When the game begins, its 21 players against me; they just dribble me around the field. Why they don’t allow me to get the ball is this: when I kick it into the post, it does not tear the net—it vaporizes it! The ball gets burnt in the process. Or I kick it into the nearest state; Anambra, Ebonyi or Imo State. That’s just a waste of good balls. When I get really pissed, I kick it into Cameroun. This has caused a diplomatic rift between Nigeria and Cameroun with Cameroun accusing Nigeria for launching missiles that kill cattle in ranches in the Futa Jalon regions.

Read more here:http://yakayakayak..com/2010/12/his-badness-i-heard-ruggedman-on-one-of.html

This is the rest of the ensemble:

Asaid Layd Oun - i said lie down
Clem A. Tree - climb a tree
S. Sault and B. Terry- Assault and battery
Hassas N. Ashun- Assassination
Kum P. Tahaka - Computer Hacker

D. Tech Teef (Detective)
That was close. Smart work, dude. lol

Just like a d.i.c.k to get caught in Poo like this. Effing 11th commandment breaker!

Boy u cant contest it; i'm the best in the groove//
The only reason u r hot is that i'm heatin you.

you may want to read the terrorist names again, slllooowwwllyy and carefully.