kweenkong:
My dear why are u bothering yourself. Left to me she is a non issue. They married her just like they will marry you. Give her space, be cordial don't be rude to her. Talk to her but totally ignore her insecurities with time she will soon expose herself. I know their type.

Lessons for new wife, when you get to a new family be cordial to all. Know your allies and your enemies treat them all the same. When insulted behave very maturely. With time they will expose themselves. Don't enter a new home with enemies you don't want to start on that foot.

On point thanks for the advice

ClassicQueen:
You dont understand i didnt say i attent meetings. What i said is that my man said i will always have one or two things to do with her in subsequent meetings when the need arises. By saying this, i mean in the future that is after marriage. It is even a Taboo and Abomination where i come from to participate, attend meetings or even Live with a man that have not paid my bride price. All these things happened when i was trying to meet his family members even his mum it wont be good if i dont get to meet them now.

OK, it's easy to ignore this woman nah,you hardly meet her. Enjoy what you have now till the meeting time comes, it's too early to worry ones head over one woman jare.

ClassicQueen:
My Dear i am not doing any scattering i am coming in with a free mind this is a woman i met with open mind to the extent that if she see what she like on me provided its not too expensive, she will tell me she likes it i should get her one and i will gladly do eg Earrings, Perfume etc. Even her kids love and always want me to be with them... I started to distance myself from her when i noticed what she was up to.

You're getting too involved with this lady to the detriment of your fiance. Everyone gossip at one point or the other with slanderous motive. She's trying to impress on the family and wouldn't want to have you take off the shine.

Get use to it or beat her at her game

Mindfulness:

This is nice of you. I like.

byvan03:




OK, it's easy to ignore this woman nah,you hardly meet her. Enjoy what you have now till the meeting time comes, it's too early to worry ones head over one woman jare.

Chikena OP.

As long you will not live in the same house, just chill.

By the time life, work, kids etc come in the interactions will be minimal. With people like that a polite distance is the best strategy and sometimes it wont even be deliberate just no time.

Babes,babes,babes...
Try and distance your self from the man's family as far as possible until he marries you. Courtship is not marriage. You are not permitted to pick quarrels at this stage. Quit if any issue makes you uncomfortable.over visitation is not good in courtship o. Make dem no see you finish!

byvan03:



Sting her like scorpion and be the first to invite CNN with lots of tears in your eyes. E get as dem dey take deal with such people, she go fear fear.

Beev!

byvan03:
Please be exactly yourself from day 1 and create your boundary now, if not it will be difficult for you to do later. Playing mumu for as long as she lives won't be an easy job.

Exactly.

Is there anything special you are supposed to do for her?

Or is it family house yall will live after marriage?

byvan03:
Every family has people like that, just face your front and don't hesitate to call her out to her face if she tries that rubbish again. Don't form goody two shoes and endure her rubbish.

Exactly.every family has pple that behave that way..

modaru ti de.

she wont rest until she completes her mission of destroying whatever she met in that family.

Gaborone:
Is there a title like that now? "First Wife of a Family".

looool.

i guess!

freshvine:
You're not yet married you've started picking fault from his extended family

dem send am.

ClassicQueen:
Yes i have discussed it with him o its a Yoruba Family and i am from the Southern part of Nigeria my man said i should just pretend whenever i am with her, i should not react, do what she wants, bla bla bla i told him i am not a slave and cannot pretend the best i can do is to distance myself from her he said it is not possible cos we will always have some family things or meetings to do with her once in a while when ever the need arises. :-

is it mandatory folks must marry Yoruba?

ClassicQueen:
Yes o it is called "Iya Le" in Yoruba

and who told you that?

op so when you visit your boyfriend's place, you just lounge around like the queen of the jungle?

typically, a new wife or girlfriend is supposed to do chores and help out around the house.

who is this your boyfriend sef?

ClassicQueen:
One of the wives is doing that right now whenever the woman insult her or scold her for what she didnt do wrong, she will just kneel down immediately pleading with her not to be angry you can imagine the rubbish. Whenever this woman have issues with me, the sad part is that she wont confront me and say oya this thing you did is wrong next time, do it this way etc, instead she will go behind my back and tell some other members of the family, adding pepper and salt to it those ones will now call me on fone sayin Ms A why did you do this? its not good o next time dont do it o. When next we meet, she will just lock up as if nothing happened feeling bitter but cant voice out to me you can imagine the rubbish all these things is what i am trying to correct when being myself. So much for being a woman these days!

ha human beings and eye service!
kneel kor kneel ni!
abeg Op
stay your lane and be the best you can be at all times
allow the silly thing! her space and enjoy your life
never start what you cannot see through sha!
meaning politely keep her for here hell hole
they are a million and one ways to finish person without even saying a word sef!

zemaye:

ha human beings and eye service!
kneel kor kneel ni!
abeg Op
stay your lane and be the best you can be at all times
allow the silly thing! her space and enjoy your life
never start what you cannot see through sha!
meaning politely keep her for here hell hole
they are a million and one ways to finish person without even saying a word sef!

Thanks

tpiar:
op so when you visit your boyfriend's place, you just lounge around like the queen of the jungle?

typically, a new wife or girlfriend is supposed to do chores and help out around the house.

who is this your boyfriend sef?

What is the Thread saying and what are you talking about? you look confused

Funny

bennyrazz:
Who are you marrying exactly? Your Hubby's elder brother wife? or your Hubby? because seems to me you want to marry your Hubby's elder brother's wife. If she doesn't love you, what is your business? must she love you? both of you are married to different men of the same family, why the competition? women and their wahala sha smh

I taya o

Op face your front and stay ON your lane. If she bring it hot give her hot and ig she brings IT cold give her cold.never ever respect hypocrites gossipers OR backbiters regardless of their age.they're capable of creating unnecessary divisions bad blood and tension in a family and can even destroy your relationship If you're not watchful

Just ignore her. After the greetings no let anything bring you together. Smile when it's required, invest in a dark sunglasses and wear it the rest of the time. What the heck does she want from you...just face front.

If she has any of her "corrections" to dish out, so long as she didn't mete it out to you directly, no acknowledge. Life is really too short to have so much sorrows. Good luck with your marriage.

sisisioge:
Just ignore her. After the greetings no let anything bring you together. Smile when it's required, invest in a dark sunglasses and wear it the rest of the time. What the o much sorrows. Good luck with your marriage.

Thanks

dangotesmummy:
Op face your front and stay ON your lane. If she bring it hot give her hot and ig she brings IT cold give her cold.never ever respect hypocrites gossipers OR backbiters regardless of their age.they're capable of creating unnecessary divisions bad blood and tension in a family and can even destroy your relationship If you're not watchful

You are so right. Thanks

Wedding is almost a year and this woman have refused to stay on her lane o. Helllpppppp

I hate it when some in laws just take it upon themselves to be troublesome just to show power.
Continue to distance yourself. I know people like her, she wants to break you.
She wants to turn you into a fearful coward whenever you stand in front of her. Position of first wife is shacking her that's why she isn't happy you have not started kneeling down to beg her from fear like the other wife.

It's left to you to understand her and deal with her how best you can.

I have an in law like like that and the truth is that your case is even slightly better because the one am dealing with is like a year younger than me but wants to flex muscle cos she is my husband sister. If she visits she completely ignores me for God knows what reason, if I speak up among her family she just starts contradicting and opposing me with such hostility for God knows what reason. I truly have no idea what I did to her, no warmth or friendliness at all. Before I married her brother I did everything to get close to her, even gave her money although we are almost age mates. The one that pained me the most was how she snubbed me at my wedding. I went to her to greet her warmly but she just nodded briefly and walked away from me quickly.
I have started giving her chance abeg. I have enough issues to deal with in my life and I can't add an emotionally unstable in law.

I would also advice you to distance yourself from that woman. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you break and act fearful of her.

thotianna:
I hate it when some in laws just take it upon themselves to be troublesome just to show power.
Continue to distance yourself. I know people like her, she wants to break you.
She wants to turn you into a fearful coward whenever you stand in front of her. Position of first wife is shacking her that's why she isn't happy you have not started kneeling down to beg her from fear like the other wife.

It's left to you to understand her and deal with her how best you can.

I have an in law like like that and the truth is that your case is even slightly better because the one am dealing with is like a year younger than me but wants to flex muscle cos she is my husband sister. If she visits she completely ignores me for God knows what reason, if I speak up among her family she just starts contradicting and opposing me with such hostility for God knows what reason. I truly have no idea what I did to her, no warmth or friendliness at all. Before I married her brother I did everything to get close to her, even gave her money although we are almost age mates. The one that pained me the most was how she snubbed me at my wedding. I went to her to greet her warmly but she just nodded briefly and walked away from me quickly.
I have started giving her chance abeg. I have enough issues to deal with in my life and I can't add an emotionally unstable in law.

I would also advice you to distance yourself from that woman. Don't give her the satisfaction of seeing you break and act fearful of her.

Don't mind the idiot people like that r always in a family dunno y. U can imagine that ur silly sister inlaw. Whew so much 4 being calld a Mrs! I think that distance and silent treatment works perfectly.

Thanks

Update. I gave her silent treatment for a whole year I press my ignore button and she almost died... thank God she finally realized her mistakes I have forgiven her sha but will keep my distance let it remain hi hi tins...I dey enjoy my marriage with my bobo no time. Dem no fit stop my shine na dem go die if dem wish me same. ...first to do no dey pain o I should start a diary soon sha of course with another moniker stay tuned