Hello,

This is a topic that I hate to discuss, because it is more of a problem than I would like to believe. Let's see how much you know about sexual assault and rape. The more we know about it, the better for Nigeria.

If you have anything more to say about sexual assault or rape, please feel free.

Seun.

"Most rapes occur at night by strangers lurking in dark places."

Hum most? Depends on the location. Location in terms of city, state, country ? I mean lets take a look at South Africa for example. Most Rapes there occur during the day.


"Most women cry 'rape' to get back at someone they are angry with."

Well not true, but there have been reported instances, where a girlfriend reports her boyfriend for rape, when they are quarelling. Happens is Asia.

"Only women get raped."

Well Men also get raped. Read it before in the news. Especially in the cases of Older women sleeping with underaged boys in the USA and UK.


"When a person commits a rape, he/she is mostly interested in sex."

Well this one you have to ask the rapist or the psychologist . I have no idea.


"If someone was raped, they must have been asking for it."

Asking for rape does not justify the reason to rape, under any circumstances. But do ladies ask for rape?


"A lot of times a rape could be prevented if the person had only fought harder."

This is not true, because in cases of gang rapes fighting against the assultants only leads to more damages (tears, wounds or even murder ) when things go out of control. Fighting against it has never been proved effective.

"The rape is not so bad if you know the rapist."


What? Its like saying Murder is not so bad if you know the assassin.

"If you don’t report, it’s not rape."

Whether you report or not, unconsesual sex, as in without the consent of the other party under any condition is rape.

"If you don’t resist or fight back, it isn’t rape."

Man this questions are driving me crazy? What?

"When someone says no, they really mean maybe."

That is not true. When someone says no especially when it comes to sex, it is NO, the person means it. But I have heared people argue, that their girlfriend likes rough sex and therefore, she likes saying NO and submitting later!! Well I really dont know about that, but come to think of it we arent animals for christ sake.


"If he paid for a date, she owes him something in return."

Well another ideology that a lot of people have. Thats not true. At the first place did she beg you to ask ger for the date? So whatever you spend is your problem. She owes the guy nothing.

It’s not rape if a person is too drunk or high to resist sex."

Resist in what sense? A drunk person raping? havent heared of such occurencies, the only one I have heared of is a drunk lady beign raped. and please under any circumstances , the definition of rapes would always stand.

Bottom Line is that, having sex without the partner's EXPLICIT approval is rape. Most men believe that a woman says NO when she actually means YES but this is a very deadly assumption, just ask the likes of Etim Esin, Tyson,Celestine Babayaro etc.

Rape is one kind of social violence in which young girls and ladies are mostly vulnerable. It could happen under the influence of alcohol and is done sometimes done to spite the lady in question. Perhaps she's been ask out by several guys and she never say yes to any of their proposal and that name her a snob. In return they plan a rape.

Rape is having canal knowledge of female without her consent, either through violence or any other means. Rape is punishable under the law only that the person in question is usually shy to discuss it because of the humiliation and stigma she gets from the society. I think people should be enligtened on how to face these and the culprit should be dealt with thoroughly.

What at all do they gain from it? Gosh, some men are goats!!!!

They are not goats; they are wolves. Goats are just annoying, but wolves are dangerous!

It is necessary for us to have the right orientation about these issues and to share tips that will help us re-educate those who think this kind of behaviour is acceptable. Because rapists are not aliens, they are men (and women) like you and me with wrong ideas in their heads. Hopefully we can help correct these wrong ideas before they are acted upon.

Please keep voting on the poll. I will post the correct answer when this topic leaves the front page.

My answers are all 'largely false' (which means I can't vote, because the poll won't let me vote without selecting an option).

What at all do they gain from it?

Tayotina, I think it's mostly a power thing - a way of the rapist saying "I want to show you that I am more powerful than you, and one way I can do this is by doing something to you that you wouldn't ordinarily allow me to do". So I guess a rapist would typically be someone who felt inadequate and needed to validate his authority.

It could also be a way of one group asserting its dominance over another, which is why you hear of rape during wars where soldiers in one army will rape women in an enemy community.

Rape is a gender offence in that only a man can be charged with rape properly so called as an attempt at rape without virginal or anal penetration (forgive my details) is indecent sexual assault with intention to cause bodily harm or grievous bodily harm.

A woman can only be charged with accessory to rape or aiding and abetting. At least this is what obtains in Common Law, although in a recent discussion re this issue with a friend in US, it appears kazey's summation on that is somewhat accurate.

Unreported rape is not rape as the aggrieved lady must not only report the crime but must be inspected by a qualified person before evidences of forceful intercourse vanishes. Rape, in Common Law, carries a maximum punishment of life imprisonment but this is rarely imposed on offenders. I think Nigeria only sentences rapists to 2 years imprisonment. In a funny twist to the Nigerian Legal system, a woman charged with rape (accessory or indecent sexual assault) is sentenced to 3 years in prison. How preposterous.

In any event, yeah, rapists (man or woman) are really sick people, the way I see it, and I don't say that lightly. Some rapists go a step further and smother their victims, snuffing the life out of them. If I were to sit on a rape case, I would use my discretionary powers as a judge; go outside the boundaries of the law and sentence the accused to life in prison, back to back.

For those who are not sure about the correct answers to this poll, please study the article below, titled 'Common Myths about Sexual Assault' from an NGO's manual. Take your time to read it and I assure you that you will be enlightened.

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The Assault

Myth: Rape results from an uncontrollable sexual urge of biological origin. Men rape impulsively and out of biological need.
Fact: Rape is a criminal act of violence, using sex as a weapon. Men rape to express hostility and to dominate. Since most convicted rapists are married or have available sex partners, rape is not primarily a sexual experience. Men rape because it allows them to express anger and to feel powerful by controlling another person. Studies show that 50% of rapes are planned, not impulsive. This supports the view that rape is learned behavior and does not arise from biological need.

Myth: Rapes are usually reported.
Fact: Rape is probably one of the most underreported crimes; researchers estimate that between 50 to 90% of rape cases go unreported.

Myth: Husbands cannot rape their wives.
Fact: Rape occurs whenever sexual contact is not mutual, when choice is taken away. Any man who disregards a woman's "no" is raping her.

Myth: Because of a few violent incidents, the issue of rape tends to be over-dramatized.
Fact: Over one-third of all women (in the US) will be sexually assaulted or abused during their lifetimes. In Virginia, in 1997, there were 1774 reported rapes. According to the FBI, this represents between 10 and 20 percent of the actual number of rapes.

Myth: Most rapes occur in dark alleys, or to hitchhikers.
Fact: Over 33% of rapes occur after an assailant has forced entry into a home; Over 50% of rapes occur in a residence.

Myth: Rape is always a one-on-one encounter.
Fact: Only 57% of rapes involve only one assailant. 16% involve 2 rapists and 27% involve 3 or more rapists.

Myth: Men cannot be raped.
Fact: Men, both heterosexual and homosexual, can be and are raped -- usually by other men. 1 in 6 boys are victims of sexual assault before the age of 18.

The Victim

Myth: When a woman says no, she really means yes.
Fact: No means NO! Without her consent, it is sexual assault. Everyone has the right to control what happens to one's body.

Myth: Sexual assault happens to careless people who are "asking for it" by the way they dress or where they are.

Fact: No one asks to be assaulted. All kinds of people, young and old, are sexually assaulted in all kinds of places and at all times. The idea that victims provoke assault by "being in the wrong place at the wrong time" assumes that they have no right to be as free as you. This myth shifts the blame from the perpetrator to the victim of this crime. No one "deserves" to be sexually assaulted.

Myth: Women often lie about being raped.
Fact: Police statistics show that the number of falsely reported rapes is no greater than that of other crimes - about two percent.

Myth: Women often do not report rape because they know they provoked it.
Fact: Rape can happen to women of all ages, races, or socioeconomic groups. Being raped has nothing to do with a woman's past sexual experiences or lack of them.

Myth: It is best not to tell anyone if you are raped.
Fact: Women who keep their feelings and thoughts bottled up inside tend to be more likely to have long-lasting negative psychological effects from the rape.

Myth: Since women have rape fantasies, they often derive sexual pleasure from being raped.
Fact: Most women do have sexual fantasies which involve being seduced, or forced into sexual acts. This is with a person of their choice and under circumstances in which they are in control (it's their fantasy!). These fantasies have little to do with what rape is really like and do not include the pain and violence associated with rape.

Myth: A prostitute will not be traumatized by a rape. After all, having sex is her job.
Fact: A sexual assault can be just as traumatic to an experienced prostitute as to anyone else, and she has as much right to treatment, protection, and justice. Remember, rape is a crime of violence, not simply a sexual act.

Myth: In a rape, the person who is raped is the only one who suffers.
Fact: Sexual assault affects the victim's family, friends, and neighbors. The fear of sexual assault affects all women. The economic costs of sexual assault affect us all. Sexual assault is a societal problem.

Myth: Sexual assault is impossible without some cooperation from the victim (also known as the "it's hard to thread a moving needle" theory).
Fact: Offenders are willing to use all the force necessary to accomplish penetration, even when it is physically injurious to the victim. Even a struggling victim can be penetrated if she is pinned under the assailant. In cases where the victim does not resist because she fears for her life, her submission is not the same as cooperation. If she chooses to cooperate because of the perpetrator's threats against her or others, her cooperation is not the same as consent.

Myth: If a woman agrees to some degree of sexual intimacy, she wants to have sexual intercourse.
Fact: Any person has the right to agree to any degree of sexual intimacy they feel comfortable with at that moment, and to not go any further if they do not wish to. A person may feel comfortable with one kind of sexual activity but not wish another - or she may decide she's not really ready for further intimacy.

The Offender

Myth: The greatest danger is from a stranger.
Fact: Most rapes, 50 to 80%, are committed by someone the victim knows.

Myth: Most rapists are "insane".
Fact: Although rapists have been shown to have poor self-images and a tendency toward violence, they are average in other aspects of their lives.

Myth: Men who rape other men are homosexual.
Fact: The vast majority of males who sexually assault other males (including children) are heterosexual. Men and women are assaulted for basically the same reasons: so the assailant can vent hostility and feel a sense of power. Fear of homosexuality ironically leads some men to attack gay men. The motivations for same-sex assault are power and anger. Sexual orientation is not a motivation for sexual assault.

Myth: Raping a woman is a sign of how masculine a man is and of how sexually potent he is.
Fact: Studies have shown that many (58%) rapists suffer from sexual dysfunctions such as impotence and premature ejaculation.

Myth: Rapists are sexually unfulfilled men.
Fact: 30% of rapists are married and having sex regularly

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What have you learnt?

well rape is a very serious matter thats all arround the world.its not just the women who r involved.men r also being raped.rape is in many forms.even a husband can rape his own wife.in the case the woman wife say she is not ready for it and he forcefully does it.well i think we should ask ourselves if we r humans or animals.it has even come to to situation when little children r involved.well the matter of reporting is not even too important cause nobody seems to even care some people r so ashamed after they hav been raped that they lack the words to say it out.i say evil doers plz search ur concience cause if u think no one is seeing u i beg u person dey wey dey see u oh!!!.And thank Kazey u hav a good knowledge about this topic i hope ur not one of them

well the matter of reporting is not even too important

The matter of reporting is very, very important. The only way to deter potential rapists is to make them realise that there will be very serious punishment for them if they try it.

Rape is about the man showing he has the power to get what he wants, and yes, a strong man has the power to get what he wants, but we need to let him know that after getting what he wants he will have to spend 2 years to life in a Nigerian jail. It is not a funny topic at all, especially not in these days where HIV is everywhere.

I have always wondered what would make a guy rape a lady.is it lack of sexual partners?lack of self-confidence to speak to a girl and say what he wants that he has to go to the extent of raping a girl?whatever it is,i think it is unexcusable for guy to rape a girl for whatsoever reason.any guy that rapes a girl should go and seek the face of God and go for deliverance.it is a spiritual problem.Chikena!!

a man can rape a fellow man also these dayz

I reserve my comment for now.

Thank you.

funny how i mentioned "rape" in one of my previous posts and it got edited.

The results of the poll are indeed interesting.

HERE IN ABROAD NOT ONLY WOMEN GET RAPED MEN ALSO, OLDER WOMEN OVER 70'S CHILDREN UNDER AND OVER 3 YEARS, AND IT IS GETTING WORST EVERYDAY. RAPED IS A VERY BIG OFFENSE AND IT SHOULD BE HANDLED VERY SERIOUSLY IN AFRICA BECAUSE OVER HERE ASSAULT OF ANY KIND IS HANDLED VERY SERIOUSLY TALKLESS OF RAPE, COMMITTING A RAPE OFFENSE U COULD GET 15 TO 25 YEARS IN JAIL. RAPE OF ANY KIND IS A RAPE IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THE PERSON IS CONSCIOUS OR NOT.

sage:

a man can rape a fellow man also these dayz

huh

Seun, thanks a lot!! some of the responses on the other thread 'why do many girls get raped?' were scary. it shows that many people are actually more accepting of rape as a non-crime than we think. it is one of the worst forms of abuse that can be carried out on another. the myth about women wanting to be raped as a fantasy was so disgusting. do people really think that?

i hope people are paying attention, and the errant ones change. many guys who take advantage of a girl because she's drunk (hey, didn't he deliberately get her drunk in the first place?) don't think it's rape. and many 'respectable' guys do it. more than you can imagine

It's such an evil act!

mama-g:

It's such an evil act!

absolutely. and may God grant all survivors of rape strength.

Date rape is the most convenient form of rape; no one ever believes the woman when she says that she's being raped by her boyfriend/husband.

the only statenent i agreed was the last one

yea. I think the last one of  the most accurate.

I am hoping people were confused by the poll and these are not actual answers

haha!

There are certain situations where the ladies start with [B] NO! NO!! STOP IT! [/B] Which will later turn to [B] YES! YES!! HARDER! [/B] I guess these types of situations can be classified as MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL.

From a legal point of view, Rape is very difficult to prove when alcohol is involved, Alcohol /drugs can inhibits both the man and the woman,
Is it really rape when the both the man and the female are both drunk to resist each others unwanted advances,

If after the fact, she cries rape
It’s not rape if a person is too drunk or high to resist sex."
The guy can also cry rape because he also was to drunk or high to resist the act.

Where do we draw the line, The point is that indeed there are rapes occuring all over the world but the onus is on the accuser to provide evidence beyond reasonable doubt that indeed there was a rape.

yea whatever, Rapists are Rapists, and for Men that rape women, Men will also RAPE their daughters if they choose to have one.

@Hanoobaba

There are certain situations where the ladies start with NO! NO!! STOP IT! Which will later turn to YES! YES!! HARDER! I guess these types of situations can

You are forgetting something here, when we mean " Sexual Assault and despoil it means there is a VICTIM and there is a VICTOR. Most times the women are always the victim fallen for the woes and wins of the despecable scumming masculine gender who call themselves MAN when in actual words they are wolves in sheeps clothing.

Ladies becareful thats all i ve got to say.

women shld not drink @ the club or bar~