in a rape situation ,as a female would you like to submit yourself for medical treatment.the reason for this question is because people tend to stigmatize a victim , what if is you what will you do and what if it's your sister what will your reaction be?

what do u mean by medical treatment- counselling ?yes i did.

examination ? i had it.

awww

i don't like the sound of that. anything rape. . wouldn't wish ma enemy that.

@ Busta, i totally agree with you.
I just think rape is the worst thing ever. . . . . nobody should have to go through that treatment. It is the act of stripping a person of all human rights

BUT should it happen, then i advice they go for medical check-ups and councelling to help them recover from the trauma.

Some people remain hurt for life due to that BLACK experience

yes Busta won't wish that on any one. It is hard for those who go through it, some do not go for any examination, for the feeling of shame or idea that they won't be believed. I think , well i pry those who get raped find the strength to report it and hopefully the wicked person can be caught. In Nigeria it's a different story though , many many women live with the trauma of rape and never report it,our justice system is non existence In countries like America, etc there are chances of a fair hearing, but something holds many back here too when it comes to reporting it. Do you know 4 out of every 5 rape victim knows their attacker?

Yes, if whoever get raped should immediately go medical treatment to check-up for STD/HIV/AIDS and prenatal care counseling, also if you have your courage to report who is the attacker to the police to catch them in most COUNTRIES such as US, UK, others. ALL HOSPITALS, all college/Universities' infirmaries, and some ambulances have rape kit---to gather semen/sperm/blood and to take pictures on every injured body for the purpose of court evidence as well as to trace finding DNA match to catch attackers.

Person who is victimized as rape can severe trauma to hold back too long, scare of men and cause sex problem or unwanted sex without seeking counseling.

Moved to crime section. It's a pity that women are too soft and forgiving to stamp out this problem from society.

what do you mean by that?
you have no idea how lousy this society is.
the only rapists that ever get whats coming to them are those that rape the daughters of big men or soldiers.
there was this very prolific fellow in scholl, complete perv-even used 2 take pictures.not until he messed with the wrong chick and even then, he was only in jail 4 a short time.the only thing that came out of it was that everybody knew 4 sure that he was a rapist.
whats worse, suffering in silence--- or reporting and watching nothing happen.don't kid yourself.theres no justice in nigeria.

Why are they suffering in silence? Why are they allowing the rapists to roam free?
Are they not part of the "society" that you are blaming for this problem? Why do they not fight hard for change?

this fellow i talked about raped this poly chick. she came 2 his place, and he forced himself on her, then intimidated her.
back home, she started acting v strangely.her dad got concerned.they got a psychiatrist .the story came out. the guy was arrested, charged to court, and nothing eventually came out of it. he went on till like i said, he messeed with the wrong chick. even now, he's a free man. all the arrests came to naught. think about that , you find the courage to come forth, accuse the person, you get your day in court, if it gets that far, and he isn't imprisoned.he's set free .
am not supporting doing nothing, but what's the point in going to court, or the police, reliving it all in testimony or on the stand, and not getting justice.
i think it comes down to karma.cause this actually happens in other societies too esp gehtto america.if you read chapter 2 or mayb 3 of Nathan Mccall's Makes me wanna holler, you'll see what i'm talking about.plus if you read his essay, Men we just don't get it, (which i can't seem to find anymore).
the justice victims get comes down to something tom clancy wries in his books
'daughters are God's revenge on you for being a man'
there is justice, it just might not be the way you see it.this mccall fellow particuipated in several gang rapes(running a train) as a teenager.and at that age he didn't see anything wrong with it. these days he has to deal with remorse. also, once a girlfriend of his confessed the same thing to him, she'd been 'trained' as a teenager.and he felt soo sooo bad.

all i can say, for societies like ours, u can't expect conventional justice.

Rape and victimization are the number one killer of self esteem in women.

Its easy for outsiders to blame women for keeping quiet about the ordeal. Rape has become so stigmatized in that, women are often blamed for it. Some even blame them for dressing in a certain way claiming that it provokes rapists!
But, how does one explain a 2 year old child, 70 year old being raped? Do we blame it on their clothing?

Rape is a disease and I cannot wait for the day that rapists are given a death sentence. I JUST cant wait because it kills an individual intrinsically and one can never be the same again!

this is d essay i was talking abt b4

MEN: WE JUST DON'T GET IT
At about the tender age of sixteen, I carried around in my
wallet a wrinkled piece of paper that contained a notorious
list. I'm ashamed to admit it now, but back then I proudly
showed off the contents of that list, often during winebingeing
bragging sessions with the boys on the block.
The list contained the names of some twenty or so teenage
girls-in our vernacular, babes, broads, bitches-who held
the unlucky distinction of having been laid by me.
In most cases, I had "talked the drawers off" the girls,
meaning they'd willingly yielded to empty promises designed
to persuade them to prove their devotion by hopping into
my driver's license and my Social Security card. There
was enough written evidence of confessed sex crimes, scribbled
in my distinctive handwriting, to put me away in prison
for a long, long time.
But that didn't matter to me then. I wasn't afraid of exposure
because I honestly didn't grasp the tragic implications of
the thing. I just didn't get it.
That might seem unbelievable, but what's more stunning is
this: I was far from alone in such cruel stupidity. Of course,
there were many exceptions. There were lots of decent, selfrespecting
teenage boys who wouldn't dare take advantage of
a girl even if the opportunity presented itself. Still, in addition
to my hoodlum partners and me, a sizable number of other,
"regular" dudes-bookworms, jocks, and other everyday,
play-by-the-rules kinds of guys-also held cloudy notions
about the distinction between consensual sex and rape.
I've heard all the macho men's-room talk, and I'd say the
number of boys and men who harbor blurry notions about

the liberties they can rightfully take with a female is nothing
less than mind-boggling. If the truth be told, on some level of
awareness or another, most men don't get it.
That massive male blindness accounts for the boatload of
sexual-harassment cases filed by women in government and
civilian workplaces every year. That obtuseness explains why
some of the highest-ranking men in the nation-including the
President of the United States and a U.S. Supreme Court
justice-have been accused of taking indecent liberties with
women.
William Kennedy Smith, Mike Tvson, the late Tupac
Shakur-theirs are among the high-profile sexual-assault
cases that have made headlines in recent years, but they represent
only a small fraction of the incidents that do untold
psychic damage to girls and women every day.
From this male's perspective, the pervasiveness of men's
problem with sexual aggression suggests one of two things:
Either God developed a defective sensibility gene when he assembled
males, or there's a major flaw in our cultural conditioning,
and that flaw feeds this madness that's corrupted us.
After much soul-searching, I'm inclined to believe the latter
is true: that even in these so-called modern times, we still
uphold a supermacho cultural climate that helps men feel
comfortable-even justified-in forcing their attentions on
the opposite sex. Certainly, the role of individual responsibility
can't be dismissed, but in a sense our whole society is an
accessory in this thing called rape. In America, where sex
seems to sell everything, from new cars to good beer, it's not
hard at all to become a sexist pig. All that's needed are eves,
ears, and a hearty store of testosterone.
As I look back on my own warped past, it's impossible to
say just when the boorishness toward females first kicked in.
I suspect that for me and for most other boys who mistakenly
embraced sex as a rite of passage into manhood, the foundation
for our brutish ways was laid early and deep.
Long before Tonka trucks and G.I. Joes assigned us our sex
roles, we boys were sent clear messages about who we were
to become. The sex-typed toys that we were cheerfully given
at Christmastime simply reinforced the negative stereotypes
that we were already being force-fed every day.
It's very likely that adolescence was the time when the crass
sexism seeped in deeper for my buddies and me. Maybe it was
somewhere around middle school-when zealous cheerleaders
leaped in the air and did phenomenal splits in support of
the boys' more celebrated exploits on the football field-that
we were thoughtlessly handed the double standards that
would govern us.
Somewhere amid all the TV ads showing half-naked
buxom women selling products that had absolutely nothing
to do with the female body, the notion of male dominance
crystallized: While the girls learned to view males as the ob
jests of their love, we boys learned to regard females as mere
objects.
For many guys, that notion creates a major emotional disconnect.
That disconnect makes it easier to regard females as
something less on the human scale. Once that disconnect occurs,
it's entirely possible to discount a female's humanity; it's
entirely possible to subject a woman to sexual harassment or,
worse, to rape.
For my buddies and me, our inclination to strong-arm girls
related directly to our definition of masculinity. Men, who are
schooled by other men, are taught to see themselves, first and
foremost, as conquerors. Our movie heroes attest to that.
Heros such as John Wayne were almost always big, strong,
domineering men who often boasted a sharp, sexist wit. In
their movies, the settings, story lines, and subplots were secondary
to the underlying quest. The bottom line was obvious.
It was about pussy: The conqueror got the pretty girl.
That's how the fellas and I thought of it, too. We didn't
think of what we did as rape as much as we saw it as the ultimate
macho conquest sport. Our competitive language reinforced
that. In the male idiom, where men were called
"hounds" and women were dubbed "foxes," it required no
great leap of logic to extend the realm of conquest to sex.
Life's purpose was made clear: The hunt was on, and females
were the game.

As teenagers, operating with that kind of twisted vision as
a frame of reference, we singled out as potential prey every
little cute thing who even thought she had a crush on one of
us. (Strangely enough, females in our families-mothers, sisters,
cousins, and so on-were afforded respect.) With few
exceptions, everybody's "phat" daughter who crossed our
path was an unwitting candidate for our respective lists.
And why not keep a list? Almost from day one, we boys
had been primed to score.
What is clearer now than it was back then is that the social
scientists' take on rape is absolutely true: It's more about
power than about sexual enjoyment. Think about it; nobody
i n his right mind can truly enjoy forcing someone to share
something so intimate as sex.
Sometimes, the fellas and I engaged in the conquest sport
alone, but we occasionally formed teams that carried out a
male rite called "running trains." Often with the help of guys
secretly stationed in closets in the appointed room, we simply
i ntimidated our victims with fear or might or both, then took
turns having our way.
It was a perverse exercise in male bonding; it was a bizarre
camaraderie that boys and men shared as a way of showing
off; it was a reenactment of the primitive caveman's rite of dividing
the spoils of the hunt.
Really, we didn't get it.

Probably the clearest indication of our utter confusion
about the seriousness of sexual aggression was the conflicting
attitudes we held about rape. If you'd walked into the very
room at the very moment one of our sexual escapades was
going down, we would've been highly offended-pissed off
even-at any suggestion that we were committing a serious
crime.
It's true. We frowned on rapists. We regarded rapists as deranged
men, social misfits, outcasts, freaks who were so hard
up they couldn't get sex on their own. Reports by the American
Medical Association show that 80 percent of rape vicrims
know their assailants. But in our limited vision, rapists
were people who attacked perfect strangers to get their jollies
off. Rapists were weirdos who went alone to darkened theaters,
slouched low in their seats, and masturbated while gazing
at the movie screen.
Looking back, I find it hard to know exactly where the
moral breakdown occurred. I suspect that it erupted somewhere
amid all those puzzling instructions that were handed
down to us boys from men who were no more than grownup
boys themselves. Where females were concerned, we boys
were given general training about right and wrong, but we
also were granted broad latitude to interpret what a woman's
rights really are.
I now know this: A woman has the right to say no when-
ever she wants. A woman has the right to change her mind
anytime she chooses. But I remember being told, straight up,
from men I respected, that it's OK for a man to take sexual
liberties with a woman if she "leads him on." I recall hearing,
over and over, that a woman is required to "give it up" if a
man spends a fair amount of money on her during a date.
Indications are that the notions my buddies and I were
taught back then are still being passed along today. In an
AMA survey of high school students, 56 percent of the girls
and 76 percent of the boys believed forced sex was acceptable
"under some circumstances." Among eleven- to fourteenyear-
olds, 5 1 percent of the boys and -I1 percent of the girls
said forced sex was acceptable if the boy "spent a lot of
money" on the girl.
And so much of what we were told was male ego driven.
We were assured that, regardless of what they say to the contrary,
most girls and women really want to have sex: "They
j ust need to be coaxed along."
If all this strikes you as appalling, then try this next thought
on for size: Where the general oppression of females is concerned,
there are also a good number of women unwittingly
playing supporting roles. There is some subtle and blatant
voodoo being worked on them that even a whole lot of young
girls and grown-up women just don't get.
That includes the vast number of women who squeal in ex-
cited glee at men flaunting the same macho behaviors that
victimize them; that includes the Miss America wanna-bes
who strut across lighted stages in high heels and swimsuits so
men can judge their considerable "talents"; that certainly includes
the pseudodivas who shake their rounded rumps for
those gold-chained misogynists in some rap-music videos.
It's no mystery why so many females are so gullible. While
the boys were conditioned to be sexist oafs, the girls were socialized
to seek happiness by providing the services men value
most. Almost from birth, they are well primed by the likes of
Barbie dolls and Suzy Homemakers to cooperate in this sexoppression
thing.
"Our parents gave us girls tea sets for Christmas," Debra
Dennis, a friend, told me recently. "And we didn't even drink
tea in our fucking house!"
The females were hit with it nonstop. Still are. And you
have to know that for young girls there's a cumulative effect
of seeing so many women everywhere serving so many men's
interests-all the time. At some point, the message sinks in:
Gals exist for the sole purpose of pleasing guys.
All that bull, piled high as the heavens, made it easier for
my buddies and me to get our way. And the confusion that
those messages created in young girls' heads is what enabled
us to get away undetected with the things we did.
It's no wonder, then, that the AMA survey found that
among college-age women who have been the victim of rape
or attempted rape, 4? percent never even reported what happened
to them.
Like so many others, my partners and I usually got away
scot-free, usually without being punished for sexual assaults.
But in the years since then, I've often wondered whether any
of us really got away.
Life has a way of avenging folks who've been terribly
wronged, even if the victims never get a chance to witness poetic
justice firsthand Life has a way of revisiting you with acts
of meanness that you may have committed against someone
i n some long-forgotten rime. Among the guns in my bunch,
some got their wickedness shipped right back to them, almost
exactly the same way they'd dished it out.
When I consider this idea, I'm reminded of something that
happened during one of our street-corner bragging sessions
years ago. A number of dudes were standing around in a tight
circle, listening to a guy called Foots gloat over some girl he'd
strong-armed the night before. A dude I'll call Alfred Towns,
who'd also been known to do such things, happened to walk
up and join the circle. Foots was so wrapped up in his boasti
ng that he didn't even see Alfred approach. He went on jabbering.
And Alfred went on listening-only to get what must've
been the shock of his life: Alfred heard Foots call out his sister's
name.
When Foots spotted Alfred in the crowd, he smiled sheepishly
and apologized. As everyone turned and looked his way,
Alfred stared straight ahead. His eyes glazed over, and he
stood in stunned silence. Alfred was deeply affected; he was
shocked to learn that his own sister had been raped.
In the years since those crazy days, I've changed my thinking
about women and sex, but still, life's revenge has come
back to haunt me, too. The first time revenge paid a visit, I
was involved with a woman I really felt strongly about. In
one of our intimate conversations, she disclosed that some
guys had run a train on her years ago, when she was a teen.
Another time, a former girlfriend confessed that she had once
been "taken advantage of" bN1 her boyfriend in a violent
episode that left her permanently scarred.
These stories hurt me. But more than anything, they forced
me to face my own past cruelty and helped me understand the
truth about what I'd done: I had committed one of the worst
offenses one person can commit against another and somehow
had failed to see the brutality inherent in it. I just didn't
get it.
Those stories told by my women friends also underscored
just how widespread assaults on females are. They revealed
that sexual violence is no respecter of color, race, or social
standing, that it happens in all quarters, from church pews,
where preachers take liberties with female members of their
unsuspecting flocks, to college campuses, where frat brothers
often carry on such manhood rites at the expense of hapless
coeds.
Of all the life experiences that have taught me about the common
threat to females' humanity none has provided greater
enlightenment than fatherhood. I think the Creator devised
the best way to help me fully get the point when he gave me
a daughter. She's twelve now and fast approaching that stage
when boys and men will start eyeing her with that certain
hungry look.
I look at her with a father's love-and also with a father's
dread. As a man, I know what young predators might see
when they look at her. They might see a vivacious, trusting Little
girl who is a stranger to no one. Or they might see a babe,
a broad, a bitch, an object whose good nature makes her easy
prey-a candidate for somebody's sordid list.
And I fear that my daughter may just fall for some boy who
she thinks cares the world for her. He could be a nice guy. Or
he could turn out to be another messed-up young man who,
like me, was improperly schooled in matters of respect and
sex. He might be another male who just doesn't get it.

theres a pdf attachment

Even if all you do is get a rapist to spend one night in jail, it's better than nothing.
Even if all you succeed in doing is making other women afraid to date him, it's better than nothing.
Do you think if men were being raped by women they would sit down and do nothing? Abomination!

sometimes i wish the men were the victims of rape

rape is the worst thing that can hapen to someone
that is something that is not even worth forgiving for
when someone rapes you do not forgive
give him hell

mukina
don't wish rape on anyone please, even men. It is the few low esteemed, lesser-men who rape women, they have no significance in this life, and try to gain a few secs of power by fear. They are cowards people who rape are nothing but cowards. i watched a documentary about a rapist from his cell, and he said he was very insecure and the victims were women who walked around looking timid, those with their heads down were his pickings, he would walk right by a woman in a quiet street who walked with her head up( even if she had on the shortest skirt), and appeared really confident. Those who walked around looking scared were the ones he raped. Asked why? he said it was just the body language, and he felt intimidated by women who looked and walked confident. Sickos

sisi
you wouldnt understand
no no no its not low esteemed, lesser-men who rape women, they have no significance in this life,
but respectable men .people we are supposed to look up too
people who are supposed to protect you
some of them are well respected .that whats pains me the most .
this are people if you say a bad word against them .people think you are going crazy
i wish it were them who were being raped left and right

mukina2:

sisi
you wouldnt understand
no no no its not low esteemed, lesser-men who rape women, they have no significance in this life,
but respectable men .people we are supposed to look up too
people who are supposed to protect you
some of them are well respected .that whats pains me the most .
this are people if you say a bad word against them .people think you are going crazy
i wish it were them who were being raped left and right

but respectable men .people we are supposed to look up too
people who are supposed to protect you

------------hmm yeah i know but darling they appear this way , truly they are not men, they are really low. What you see with people like that is a mask, they are good at lying. Appearances can decieve.

i do know where you coming from yes that is painful, especailly in cases where family members rape young girls,(uncles, cousins etc) even fathers. yeah it makes my blood boil too

i'd rather they reported it
yes, they are stigmatised
that's why most of them do not report it
when the case is taken to court, they are treated like 'the accused' instead of 'the victims'.
sometimes, when the jury/judge gathers from evidence that she was dressed 'half naked' they tend to poin the finger @ the female victims

how many rapists are caught and convicted of rape?

what is very funny is that fact that to you yeah they are not men .they have  a mask on
but this are people that if you attempt to say what they did wrong .
people will narrow it down to jealousy or rudeness most uncles are demons, aunties are devils and some fathers are just evil
sometimes even ur family members cant help you out even though thwy know what the 'so called  men trully are'

report a rape case against a 'respected member of the society you'll be frowned upon .

if you are old enuff to know whats sex is all about .they'll accuse you of seducing him

I'm tired of hearing all these lazy excuses. Action is what makes a difference. Women are so full of excuses.

If you report, and people don't believe you, report to someone else. Keep on fighting until you win! Grrrrr!

When a man rapes you, and you leave him free to rape other women, that is woman's inhumanity to woman.

Fight first, complain later. Nothing is free in life. You can't sit down and expect an oppressor to magically repent.

MUKI
yeah we on same side darling.
i know many people will call the girl a liar especialy in our own communities.
Do you know there was a girl in my sister's college who was being raped by her step father since she was 10yrs old, jamaican family they were. The girl had not told a soul and my sis said she broke down in class one day crying shaking, their tutor told them to take her out and see she was ok. they probed and probed this girl she could not talk for minutes , then she just said it, that her mother kicked her out because of her step father , when they probed more , they found out it was because the girl told her mother that he had been touching her since 10 ,and the useless woman threw her out saying she wants to ruin her relationship. This girl at the time was only 17yrs old. left homeless and scared by her own mother who chose to call her a liar instead of get the rapist arrested. The ponse is doing time as we speak in Brixton jail

maybe we should adopt a sharia type solution.
my old man used to have this 'photo of the year' journal.
anyway there was this set of pictures from pakistan.

this dude had been caught, and he was given the customary 100 lashe


OOOOO,

you should have seen it
the rapist was tied to a stretcher(in his undies), and this muscular guy whipped his ass.

i'll bet he wouldn't do that again in a hurry!

@ mukina2

i came across your post of wishing rape upon men, so just wanted to let you know that there have been instances where it actually happened

some years back, say 6yrs a ago, an okada-man(a motorcycle driver) was raped by two HIV+ women
they had pretended to be going somewhere, ony to lead the guy into the middle of nowhere, stripped him naked and forced sex on him, saying "we got this from a guy like you, so now you can help us pass it on"

i thought the story was heart-breaking

@ topic

yes, i'm also for the idea that something should be done about it, but its not all the time the girls know who the rapist(s) is/are hence it would be difficult to turn someone in

in some cases, the girls are threatened, so they get scared of reporting incase the accussed is set free and they'll now have to live in their mercy

ina country where there's lot of bribery and corruption the aim/goal of putting these good-for-nothing b^satards behind bars for life is defeated

i wish BAKASSI would come back and deal with these rapists, because there short-while reign did make a difference

sharia/bakassi what??!! Abeg!!!!


anyways, whereby they tell their moms who don't end up believing them, leaving them homeless, they should learn to talk to friends. Friends are bound to believe this sort of thing. like the girl in Sisi's story, now she's said it all, the police are bound to get that guy and put his sorry ass in jail
we should learn to speak up.
if A doesn't believe our story, B definitely will

Glamourgal:

if A doesn't believe our story, B definitely will

its not about who believes the story, but about what actions are taken,, at the end does the son of a b^tch get what he deserves??

when i said bakassi,

i was against the fact that they murdered people, cos i believe no human being should have the right to murdera another human being[b] BUT[/b]

i did like the short sleeve and long sleeve method, because these people are so heartless

this might help

provided by Coco29: http://www.rapestop.net/