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Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

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Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by EfemenaXY: 8:06pm On Jul 19, 2010
How To Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
3. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
4. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
5. Get in the shower.
6. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
7. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
8. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
9. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
10. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
11. Rinse conditioner off hair.
12. Shave armpits and legs.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
15. Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
16. Get out of shower.
17. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
18. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
19. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
20. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk Unclad to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.

1 Like

Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by EfemenaXY: 7:47pm On Jul 21, 2010
@nlanders: Do any of these sound familiar? cheesy cheesy cheesy
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 7:48pm On Jul 21, 2010
hmmmm
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 7:51pm On Jul 21, 2010
didnt see the part where a woman spends hours washing up
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by EfemenaXY: 7:56pm On Jul 21, 2010
Lol. . .

The whole process takes hours cheesy
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 7:57pm On Jul 21, 2010
neither did i see the bit where guys recycle shorts
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by dani1luv: 7:59pm On Jul 21, 2010
Efemena_xy:

How To Shower Like a Woman

1. Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.
2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
3. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
4. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
5. Get in the shower.
6. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.
7. Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
8. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
9. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
10. Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
11. Rinse conditioner off hair.
12. Shave armpits and legs.
13. Turn off shower.
14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
15. Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.
16. Get out of shower.
17. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
18. Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
19. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
20. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.
Walk unclothed to the bathroom. If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.
Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
Get in the shower. Wash your face. Wash your armpits. Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower. Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap. Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
Wee. Rinse off and get out of shower. Partially dry off. Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.
Admire willy size in mirror again. Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.
Throw wet towel on bed.



I loff the parts embolden grin grin grin grin
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by EfemenaXY: 8:01pm On Jul 21, 2010
hahaha!!

TeeJay!! - pls, plsssssssssssssss don't tell me u recycle your shorts!!

erm. . .won't they stick after a couple of days usage??   tongue tongue tongue

@Dani - Thanks!!
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 8:04pm On Jul 21, 2010
or some guys mastabaste in the shower embarassed
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by EfemenaXY: 8:07pm On Jul 21, 2010
^^ hehehe

Okay, if you say so. . . wink
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 8:13pm On Jul 21, 2010
by the way, why do women cover up wen they see their spouse? surely the guy has seen it all
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by EfemenaXY: 8:17pm On Jul 21, 2010
I guess it's b/cos not all women are half as randy as their male counterparts undecided

And, it doesn't take much to fire the guy up tongue

remember reading somewhere that most males think about s.ex every 6mins or so. . .
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 8:20pm On Jul 21, 2010
Efemena_xy:

I guess it's b/cos not all women are half as randy as their male counterparts undecided

And, it doesn't take much to fire the guy up tongue

remember reading somewhere that most males think about s.ex every 6mins or so. . .
and wats wrong with being fired up? embarassed embarassed embarassed
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by Moyola(f): 8:22pm On Jul 21, 2010
Uhmn! Not applikabu. . . . .2me shaaa! cool
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 8:32pm On Jul 21, 2010
^^^ meaning u give him a freeview every morning? grin
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by sting224(m): 8:43pm On Jul 21, 2010
I recycle my shorts, whats wrong wit it.
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by EfemenaXY: 8:47pm On Jul 21, 2010
Sting!! cheesy cheesy

Nothing, absolutely nothing's wrong with it

Especially if you're doing your bit to be green & reduce global warming sha. . . tongue tongue
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 8:49pm On Jul 21, 2010
Efemena_xy:

Sting!! cheesy cheesy

Nothing, absolutely nothing's wrong with it

Especially if you're doing your bit to be green & reduce global warming sha. . . tongue tongue
and it aint got skid marks on it embarassed
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by Moyola(f): 8:54pm On Jul 21, 2010
Tee_Jay:

^^^ meaning u give him a freeview every morning? grin

Freeview? a monthly subscription 2 view! hehe! Nwaiz yu V.Wrong! tongue
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 8:58pm On Jul 21, 2010
Moyola:

Freeview? a monthly subscription 2 view! hehe! Nwaiz yu V.Wrong! tongue
you obviously didnt get the message, wat i meant was "SO your man gets a free show of you every morning as you emerge from the shower"
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by Moyola(f): 9:05pm On Jul 21, 2010
N yu obviously dint get me! Ma reply in oda wordz meant NO! aite?

btw i said it doznt apply to me kuz ah dunt evn shawa/baff tongue
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 9:06pm On Jul 21, 2010
ah get it,
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 9:11pm On Jul 21, 2010
This is one woman going to have a shower

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=profile;u=11473
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by EfemenaXY: 9:17pm On Jul 21, 2010
Moyola:


btw i said it doznt apply to me kuz ah dunt evn shawa/baff tongue

Moyola!! shocked shocked shocked

erm. . . so wetin you dey do then? swim I guess

Tee_Jay:

This is one woman going to have a shower

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=profile;u=11473

Ah TJ you don start again - lurrrrrrrrrve in nland I guess wink
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 9:18pm On Jul 21, 2010
embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed embarassed just making a point grin
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 9:20pm On Jul 21, 2010
Efemena_xy:

Moyola!! shocked shocked shocked

erm. . . so wetin you dey do then? swim I guess


ablution (Aluwala) aka top and tail
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by Moyola(f): 9:21pm On Jul 21, 2010
Tee_Jay:

This is one woman going to have a shower

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria?action=profile;u=11473

Hey! lemme knw wen yu r done droolin ova her pix, she'd b glad to hearrit! tongue


Tee_Jay:

ablution (Aluwala) aka top and tail
grin

@ Efem
hehe! yu tryyit n see! cheesy
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 9:24pm On Jul 21, 2010
Moyola:

Hey! lemme knw wen yu r done droolin ova her pix, she'd b glad to hearrit! tongue
im not drooling just admiring her nice curvy deriere
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by EfemenaXY: 9:24pm On Jul 21, 2010
hehehe

@Moyola which 1 na?

To not baff at all? or to swim for river??

**I prefer the latter O!**
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by Moyola(f): 9:29pm On Jul 21, 2010
Tee_Jay:

im not drooling just admiring her nice curvy deriere

Kontinue feastin yur eyz on 'em then! cheesy tongue


@ Efem
Tee, reckonz yu try d aluwala thingy! cheesy
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by TeeJay6(m): 9:31pm On Jul 21, 2010
efe has been rumoured to like having her bath in the backyard b4 anybody wakes up, she likes the feel of nature when washing,
Re: Having A Shower - The Differences between Men and Women by EfemenaXY: 9:37pm On Jul 21, 2010
ROFLMAO!!

TJ!! Nor use my profile pic take yab me now - haba!!

Just b/cos I'm in love with nature nor mean say babe like me go expose my bit & pieces for outside na. . .hmmm?

**can't stop laughing!!**

@Moyola - forgive my ignorance, I no dey speak Yoruba - but wetin aluwala come mean now??

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