|Join Nairaland / Login / Trending / Recent / New|
Stats: 1332654 members, 1955268 topics. Date: Friday, 27 March 2015 at 03:01 AM
|Technology Market / Re: Neatly Used Macbook Air 120K by fewj(m): 12:38pm On Feb 20|
|Technology Market / Re: Neatly Used Macbook Air 120K by fewj(m): 8:41pm On Feb 16|
|Technology Market / Re: Neatly Used Macbook Air 120K by fewj(m): 2:55pm On Feb 16|
kindly contact me
|Technology Market / Re: Neatly Used Macbook Air 120K by fewj(m): 8:02pm On Feb 15|
|Technology Market / Re: Neatly Used Macbook Air 120K by fewj(m): 10:21pm On Feb 13|
Thats pretty low
|Technology Market / Neatly Used Macbook Air 120K by fewj(m): 10:08pm On Feb 12|
Neatly Used Macbook air, late 2010 version
4hrs + battery
Call and whatsapp 07030248027
|Romance / Re: Afraid Of Marriage? by fewj(m): 12:10am On Feb 02|
There's only one way to find out....
|Politics / Re: Apc Campaigns With Cow In One Of Their Rallies by fewj(m): 10:34pm On Jan 31|
As long as the cow doesn't vote, no wahala!
|Webmasters / Re: How Can We Make Nairaland More Beautiful? by fewj(m): 11:14pm On Jan 29|
Still waiting for a better looking Nl
|Technology Market / Re: Need A Fairly Use Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 2014 Tablet by fewj(m): 9:58pm On Jan 29|
|Technology Market / Re: Samsung Galaxy Note by fewj(m): 9:57pm On Jan 29|
|Politics / A Tale Of Two Bad Options - APC/PDP GMB/GEJ by fewj(m): 1:20pm On Dec 18, 2014|
I get offended everytime i see these APC/PDP GMB/GEJ arguments, sadly, you're all missing the koko here! This shouldn't be about any party or any individual, it should be a united clarion call for the total change of our political culture.
If APC wins the presidential elections, the same PDP crooks will all decamp to APC like they did in EDO state, and it will end up being a merigle round affair, an exercise in futility.
A 72yr old retired general that participated in the illegal killing of Igbos and others during the civil war now wants to be their president, even my hat wearing otueke president isn't helping, haba. Nigerians should stand up and reject these wrong practices, say no to two bad options.
We live in a country were touts and motor park boys become senators and governors, where ex-cons and known crooks become presidents, ministers and special advisers. How can a motor park boy successfully lead a state? No wonder our country is as disorganized as a motor park, we have the wrong people at the wrong places, doing the wrong things at the wrong times for the wrong reasons!
|Politics / Re: Check Out A Lawmaker Resting After Jump The Fence Yesterday +pics Lol by fewj(m): 12:02pm On Nov 21, 2014|
Before you take sides, remember none of these folks have our best interest at heart...
|Computers / Re: 5 Gadgets That Are All Hype And Overpriced by fewj(m): 1:02pm On Aug 30, 2014|
You obviously have never owned a Mac. Am surprised your list does not contain iPhones... lol
|Romance / Re: Naija Ladies Whats The Largest Amount Of Money U Don Give Ur Boyfriend? by fewj(m): 1:06pm On Aug 07, 2014|
|Webmasters / Re: Funny Conversations With Clients by fewj(m): 12:37am On Jul 19, 2014|
cbrass: Op what's the url of the website , I visited it but its giving 404 error . Is it www.clientsfromhell.com ?
|Webmasters / Re: Funny Conversations With Clients by fewj(m): 8:11pm On Jul 17, 2014|
19. “Please email me back the file. I sent you the only copy I have.”
Thats my favourite
|Webmasters / How To Choose A Web Designer by fewj(m): 7:27pm On Jul 17, 2014|
How to Choose a Web Designer
Over the years, I’ve been asked this same question over and over again, how do I decide which web designer to hire/employ? I’ve given several answers to this question both to prospective clients, organizations looking to hire a full-time web designer staff and other web workers.
The web design Nigeria market is quite crowded, with about 80% of the available options lacking the required skill and character set.
“I believe that any decision to do business with a service provider should be guided by the capacity and character of such a service provider.”
Your prospective web designer should possess the following skills and characteristics
The ability to write code – Too many upcoming web designers these days are lazy, they never learnt to write code, even if they did, they’re not good at it and as such they can’t produce uniquely genuine designs, the copy works from other designers and sometimes even use templates designed by other designers, this category of designers mostly produce poor jobs and they charge pretty cheap too!
Experience- While I believe fresh designers should be given a chance to show what they’re capable of doing, I would not want a web designer learning on the Job on my project, a web designer performing experiments with my project. I believe designs with experience, with a portfolio of past jobs should be top choice in your choice process. You could easily evaluate a web designer’s design capacity from his past projects.
Business Oriented- Find a web designer that is interested in making his work achieve your business objectives, provide lead generation, increase sales and return of investment (ROI).
Here’s how I can help you
You could hire me! – Over the years, I’ve acquired the skill and character set required as stated above for web design projects, I would offer reliable business partnership
Free Consultation- I can also provide you with free consultation if you want.
|Webmasters / Funny Conversations With Clients by fewj(m): 12:04pm On Jul 17, 2014|
As a freelance designer it is practically impossible if you haven’t met already a client who made your life a living hell! They’re impossible to miss, but once you’re done with them and finished your project, you’ll have some really funny memories! There’s an awesome, amusing website named ClientsFromHell where you’ll find lots of hilarious quotes from terrible clients. After a hard day at work, you may want to check it out, to get your daily dose of laughter.
Here’s some of the best quotes we could find. Did you have a ‘client from hell’ experience? Share it with us!
1. After sending two invoices for payment, I sent another and called the client when the receipt that they had received it came back.
CLIENT: Why are you calling me?
ME: You haven’t paid and this is the third invoice I’ve sent.
CLIENT: It’s even more than the last one!
ME: Yes. The contract you signed stated that I would add a late fee for payment.
CLIENT: You mean I have to actually pay you? I thought you were joking!
ME: What on earth made you think that?
CLIENT: You’re a freelancer!
CLIENT: Well, you work for free! If you were supposed to be paid, you’d be called a paidlancer or something!
2. “See if we can get the domain name ‘foogle.com’, that way we get all the people who misspell google. If that’s taken, try tahoo, gacebook or qwitter”
3. CLIENT: “I don’t mean to sound racist, but…”
ME: “But what?”
CLIENT: “But the site is too black.”
ME: “Like, literally too black?”
CLIENT: “Yes. The background is too black.”
ME: “That’s not racist. That has nothing to do with race.”
CLIENT: “Phew. I can never tell with you black people, what’s offensive and what’s not.”
ME: “I’m actually Lebanese. And, yeah, that one might be a bit racist”
4. “These stock images are way too expensive, please just remove the watermarks in Photoshop.”
5. “I don’t want the navigation or links on my website to be static. I want them to move around randomly like bees all over the site so my site’s visitors have to catch them if they really want to click on to the next page. It would be really cool if they could also randomly disappear and reappear in other parts of the page, too.”
6. “The problem with you college students is that you always expect to get paid for the work that you do.”
7. Designed a simple web banner for their etsy shop and a few days later…
Client: “The banner looks terrible its all fuzzy and you cant read it.”
Me: “That’s odd because I’m looking at your etsy shop now and it looks great.”
Client: ”No not that one, I also had it printed into a 1.5 meter long banner to hang over my stall at the market. Looks horrible!”
8. Client: ”Your rates are too high! I’ll do the design myself, and then you can do the implementation.”
Me: ”Okay, that’s fine, just send me the files when you’re finished.”
Client: ”Just one question- how many centimeters is a pixel?”
9. “You see, I don’t know what I like, I just know what I don’t like.”
10. “The only problem we have with the website is, when my friend loads it on his iPhone, it’s not as big as on the computer.”
11. “It looks like over time the submit button has begun to fade out a bit. Is it possible to upload a fresh button? I want all the buttons on my site to look new all the time.”
12. “Can we have some spare blank pages on the web site? Just so that we can fill it up later when we feel the need.”
13. Client: Hey, just one final question before I send the deposit. Do you use a PC or a MAC?
Me: I use a MAC.
Client: That is a problem. Do you have access to a PC? I am not a supporter of Apple products.
Me: No, I don’t have access to a PC, but this will have little to no effect on the work itself.
Client: I am a Christian and Apple products are sinful, I do not want our website to be created by a product made by this corrupt group. You need only look at their logo, an apple with a bite taken from it. Do you not know the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden? If I allowed you to create my website on a MAC I would be just like Adam, taking a bite of the forbidden fruit.
“Take my advise, destroy your mac and repent for when judgement day comes. It shall be you who is cast to hell for your sins.”
Me: [Block Contact] [divider]
14. The client sent me two word documents with the same content, for me to use on the website.
ME: Both the documents have the same content. Am I missing something?
CLIENT: Use the second document. The font is smaller
15. I had a client standing over my shoulder, watching me design a logo. After a few minutes…
CLIENT: Um… can you click faster?
16. After the client asked specifically for cool colors…
CLIENT: Can you put some cool reds in there?
ME: Red is usually considered very warm.
ME: Any colour can be cool, with the right attitude.
17. Client: ”Can you make the ‘About Us’ link say ‘About Us – Everyone welcome’?”
Me: “Sure, but…why?”
Client: ”I’m afraid people might not know they’re allowed to click that link. They might think it’s private. We need them to know it’s okay for them to go there.”
Me: ”But none of the links on your site are private. Why are you concerned with that specific one?”
Client: “Good point. You’d better add ‘Everyone welcome’ to all the links on the site.”
18. CLIENT: Should I send the logo as jpg or jpeg?
ME: Send it wtf.
CLIENT: What’s that?
ME: I’m joking with you, send it as a png.
CLIENT: Nice try, but I’m not that silly.
19. “Please email me back the file. I sent you the only copy I have.”
20. CLIENT: Can our customers visit our website while they’re in our restaurant?
ME: Of course, they can visit the website on their smartphone or laptop. Does your restaurant have WiFi available for customers?
CLIENT: No, not yet. But maybe you can put WiFi on our website?
|Webmasters / How To Install Wordpress Http://www.yitre.com/install-wordpress/ by fewj(m): 1:06pm On Jul 09, 2014|
Here is How to install WordPress: WordPress can be installed either on a live server or on a local pc (localhost), both requires php, apache/nginx and mysql to run, however, the installation process may vary slightly from scenario to scenario. For example to install WordPress on a live server running cpanel, on most scenarios, it could be done through fantastic, softacolous or site software, browse through your cpanel interface to see options available to you.
However, there’s the Good old way that is cross platform and applies to almost every possible scenario, via ftp. Basic requirements for this are a ftp client (cyberduck, filezilla are some examples), mysql database, database gui manager (we’ll be using Phpmyadmin in this case), apache/nginx and Php.
Note: If you’re installing on your pc, To get php, apache, mysql and phpmyadmin kindly install Wamp or Xampp (Windows users), Mamp or Xampp (Mac users) or Lamp (Linux users).
Download wordpress from wordpress.org, there are two download options, a .zip format or a gzip or .tar format, extract the files to your website folder (for cpanel users public_html folder, for xampp users, htdocs folder, for linux users www folder). Those installing on a live server could either upload the downloaded compressed file on their server and extract there of extract on their local hard drive first and then upload with their ftp client to their live server, either ways would produce the same result.
Using your database management tool, create a database, write down the name of the database, the username and password. If you’re using xampp, you do not need a username and a password (by the default installation) except you have modified it otherwise.
For those using cpanel or any other panel on a live server, create your database, create a database user, and grant the user all privileges.
To start the installation, using your browser, go http://localhost/wordpress/ or http://127.0.0.1/wordpress/ if you’re installing on your personal pc using xampp, wamp, mamp or lamp.
read the complete article http://www.yitre.com/install-wordpress/
|Computers / Re: Surface Pro 3 In Pictures (www.yitre.com) by fewj(m): 6:38am On Jul 03, 2014|
|Computers / Surface Pro 3 In Pictures (www.yitre.com) by fewj(m): 6:37am On Jul 03, 2014|
|Webmasters / Re: Who Said We Don't Have A Union In Nigeria Already? by fewj(m): 6:10pm On Dec 31, 2013|
I would personally love to dis-associate myself from any "IT Association" with that kind of website
|Phones / Re: Data-The Way Forward. by fewj(m): 10:19pm On Dec 23, 2013|
Innoxxacs: it depends on the network strength your area na. But are you serious airtel bis works? Can I still subscribe to the 6gb ,?
Airtel still works, it never stopped, I subscribed today after exhausting my 6gb in 3weeks
As a matter of fact, I've received this second message from Airtel more than once in the last 48hrs
hope you understand the implications of the second message
|Phones / Re: Airtel Users On Android Have You Been Blocked? by fewj(m): 2:29pm On Dec 03, 2013|
As soon as it stops browsing, sell your airtel sim at OLX!
|Technology Market / What Did You Buy Online On Black Friday (konga. And Jumia.com Especially) by fewj(m): 12:59pm On Nov 30, 2013|
Personally I bought nothing, I had planned to buy a couple of Items on Konga. and Jumia.com , Tight schedule made me forget. If you successfully bought anything, let us know what you bought and how much.
|Webmasters / Re: The New Layout Of GtBank's Internet Banking Portal by fewj(m): 9:28am On Nov 29, 2013|
Dual Core: For those saying its a network thing, have a look at the video below placing GTBank's online portal side by side with Nairaland and other sites and watch them load.
Nothing for nothing, but i don't thing the gtbank portal should be compared to nairaland, nairaland is visually Unclad
|Webmasters / Re: The New Layout Of GtBank's Internet Banking Portal by fewj(m): 9:21am On Nov 29, 2013|
Here's my own review of the new gtbank ibanking portal
1. its been optimised for touch enabled devices (touch screen phones, touch screen computers/laptops and tablets)
2. The UI looks great
3. Spaces which used to be blank are now occupied by bank's ads (this is both an advantage & a disadvantage)
1. Its surely slower, page size has grown at least 300% mostly due to the addition of photo adverts and a larger css file, poor configuration of IIS is also a major part of this problem
2. No new feature was added!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3. UX is now poorer due to the fact that what should ordinarily take one click to accomplish previously now take two to three clicks depending on the feature.
4. Typography in tables is still quite bad. When looking at transaction details and account statement, its quite unpleasant to read due to poor line spacing
1. Use text for adverts where possible and re-optimize pictures used
2. Add a new feature please!
3. Improve User Experience (UX)
4. Improve the typography on record tables
5. Check IIS configurations and make the proper adjustments
6. Adjust cache settings
|Jobs/Vacancies / ..................... by fewj(m): 6:26am On Nov 26, 2013|
|Sports / Re: Mexico Vs Nigeria FIFA U17 WC Final (0 - 3) On 8th November 2013 by fewj(m): 7:04pm On Nov 08, 2013|
We should carry this GOOD LUCK to next year's world cup in Brazil
|Sports / Re: Sweden Vs Nigeria: FIFA U-17 WC Semi-Final (0 - 3) On 5th November 2013 by fewj(m): 6:37pm On Nov 05, 2013|
|Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health |
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket
Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2015 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 101