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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / Poems For Review / 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay (2551 Views)
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'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Seun(m): 2:11am On Oct 05, 2006 |
This is the first part of a story about how a political party known as the Radical Party Of Ipata State grew to become an irrepressible menace, and how the threat it posed was eventually neutralised. INT TV NEWSROOM - EVENING An African female PRESENTER on TV starts her show. Sitting by her left is an African man (DON JOSH) in a regal white suit with jerry-curled hair. PRESENTER Hello and welcome to the interview segment of our show. Tonight we will be speaking with Dr. Don Josh. In case you live in a cave and don't know him, he's the former university lecturer who founded the Radical Party of Ipapa State (also known as the RPIS) seven years ago. (to Don Josh) How are you doing, sir? DON JOSH I'm fine. PRESENTER Can you tell us the mission of the the Radical Party of Ipapa State? DON JOSH 7 years ago, as a university lecturer, I observed and was saddened by the apathy of the youths in this state. So I asked myself, "what is the problem?" PRESENTER What was the problem? DON JOSH I spoke to so many of my students, trying to answer that question. They could see corruption and wastage everywhere -in the governorship, the state assembly, the police force, and even in their elders. They could see that things were wrong, and indeed they wished that things could change, but because of the pervasiveness of corruption in the society, they felt helpless to fight for change. So instead of fighting corruption, our youths were embracing corruption in large numbers. One statement I kept hearing goes like this: "in an illegal society, it is illegal to be legal" PRESENTER (amused) Illegal to be legal? DON JOSH Yes. Imagine that! But it wasn't funny at all. PRESENTER I'm sorry. So you started the Radical Party to give them faith in themselves? DON JOSH Yes, but not just that. I wanted to give them faith in themselves, yes, but also faith in the political system, faith in their country, and faith in justice. PRESENTER Please explain. DON JOSH I asked myself, "why is our nation so corrupt in the first place?" And the answer came to me loud and clear: "it's because evildoers are not punished harshly enough". PRESENTER That's deep. DON JOSH (preaching on) Every action a human being takes is either good, or evil. It's either a good deed or an evil deed. If it's not good, it's evil. There is no middle ground. If you're not a do-gooder, you're an evildoer. I'm being very sincere with you. PRESENTER Some people might not agree with this notion of black and white morality. Surely there are some actions that are neither good nor evil, black or white. Gray areas, as they say. DON JOSH There is no such thing! Some people want us to believe that their actions are neither here nor there. Neither good nor black. Neither black or white. But they are wrong. Very wrong. PRESENTER But , DON JOSH When you toss a coin in the air, (tosses a coin) It lands either on the head, or on the tail. No gray area. In Mathematics, every non-zero number is either positive or negative. No gray area. In Chemistry, every reaction is either endothermic or exothermic. No gray area. In Biology, when a plant of animal stops growing, it starts shrinking. No gray area. When people are trying to justify what they call gray areas - evil deeds like fornication, adultery, white lies, abortion in rape cases, or homosexuality - I just tell them to SHUT UP. Because there is no gray area in morality. If it's not good, it's evil. If it's not right, it's wrong. Let us be sincere. PRESENTER OK. Let's go back to the story of what led you to start the Radical Party. DON JOSH I asked myself, "what will happen if the government starts punishing evildoers at all levels in Ipata State?" The fear of punishment will lead people to do good instead of evil. Those who insist on doing evil will be locked away in prison where they can no longer influence others. Ipapa state will become a paradise on earth. For this to happen, we need to have honest lawmakers in the state assembly to create laws against all forms of evil in our society. Many gray areas need to be made black and white so citizens of Ipapa will know what to do and what not to do. We also need honest policemen and judges who will execute these new laws without mercy, fear or favor. Knowing this, I decided to create a political party to gather and groom young people who will grow up to become just and honest lawmakers, policemen, and judges. That's how I started the Radical Party. PRESENTER Wow. DON JOSH I know. I started out as a political nobody with a dream, and see where we are today: we're everywhere! Do you want more of this story? |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Orikinla(m): 3:23am On Oct 05, 2006 |
Seun, This is more well composed and focused than even Mary Abraham and the previous fiction you have posted since I read your 'Skentele' President 2007: A Comic Strip. In fact, you can begin and end it in the same scene. Four stars out of five stars. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by NSNA: 9:28am On Oct 05, 2006 |
Seun are you writing this for the sake of writing or do you have any intensions with it. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by gdi(m): 11:19am On Oct 05, 2006 |
hey seun i've got a suggestion, why don't you convert these your stories to short cartoons for the web or tv, am certain it will recive a lot of audience. If am free later this month i would try and work on this story. l8r |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Muyiron(m): 11:35am On Oct 05, 2006 |
Seun: I've learnt from experience that our responses does not influence your decision to continue or not. I only wonder why you bother to ask in the first place. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Nobody: 3:48pm On Oct 05, 2006 |
Are you really writing these stories because you have a genuine interest in story writing or just looking for reactions like mrmayor's? I cant think what you've done with the others and the myriads of comments you got. I would strongly suggest you stick to what you do best, clearly writing does not seem to be it. sorry to be so blunt! |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Seun(m): 6:14pm On Oct 05, 2006 |
Seun are you writing this for the sake of writing or do you have any intensions with it.I intend to produce a movie once I have a complete story that people really like. why don't you convert these your stories to short cartoons for the web or tvThat was my intention but, alas, there is no profit in it. Without profit, one can't be focused. I've learnt from experience that our responses does not influence your decision to continue or not.That's not true because it's when your responses are negative that I lose the desire to continue. This is my first attempt at rewriting the Mary Abraham story which you guys did not like. I will not give up. I would strongly suggest you stick to what you do best, clearly writing does not seem to be it.In case you haven't noticed, forum moderation is also not what I do best, yet Nairaland is doing ok! |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Raymand(m): 6:46pm On Oct 05, 2006 |
Nice story, really i enjoyed it, but to be honest i think it's kind of boring since it's a dialouge (two people blabbing) maybe you could spice it up with some humour (if you have that in your arsenal) or add flashbacks, but i loved it anyway, illegal to be legal, hmmm |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Orikinla(m): 10:34pm On Oct 05, 2006 |
Seun, The greatest writers in the world did not study literature. Just go and achieve it and God will increase you more. Nairaland is already a success story and Iook forward to your 1,000,000th member one fine day not far away. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by corneli: 11:37am On Oct 06, 2006 |
Seun, though am new in this forum Those of us who grew up in traditional Christian churches will recognize these hymn titles and I think you'll enjoy this, although for those who grew up with other traditions, I recognize that they may not make much sense. These come from my friend, Dolly Howard, and I thought they were wonderful! Enjoy! The Dentist's Hymn:, Crown Him With Many Crowns The Weatherman's Hymn, There Shall Be Showers of Blessing The Contractor's Hymn, The Church's One Foundation The Tailor's Hymn, Holy, Holy, Holy The Golfer's Hymn, There is A Green Hill Far Away The Politician's Hymn, Standing on the Promises The Optometrist's Hymn, Open My Eyes That I Might See The IRS Agent's Hymn, I Surrender All The Gossip's Hymn, Pass It On The Electrician's Hymn, Send the Light The Shopper's Hymn, Sweet By and By The Pilot's Hymn, I'll Fly Away The Paramedic's Hymn, Revive Us Again The Judge's Hymn, Almost Persuaded The Psychiatrist's Hymn, Just A Little Talk With Jesus The Postal Worker's Hymn, So Send I You The Waiter's Hymn, Fill My Cup, Lord The Gardener's Hymn, Lo, How A Rose E'er Blooming The Lifeguard's Hymn, Rescue the Perishing The Criminal's Hymn, Search Me, O God The Baker's Hymn, When the Roll Is Called Up Yonder The Shoe Repairer's Hymn, It Is Well With My Soul The Travel Agent's Hymn, Anywhere With Jesus The Geologist's Hymn, Rock of Ages The Hematologist's Hymn, Are You Washed in the Blood? The Menswear Clerk's Hymn, Blest Be the Tie The Umpire's Hymn, I Need No Other Argument The Librarian's Hymn, Whispering Hope And as a reminder to the speeders in the crowd: 45 mph, God Will Take Care of You 55mph, Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah 65mph, Nearer My God to Thee 75mph, Nearer Still Nearer 85 mph, This World Is Not My Home 95mph, Lord, I'm Coming Home Over 100mph, Precious Memories |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Funsho(m): 9:53am On Oct 07, 2006 |
pls, help me, |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Funsho(m): 9:58am On Oct 07, 2006 |
seun, please, help me, im trying to connect to my laptop via gprs. modem used is the k700i. when my connection is authenticated, the connection status only sends data without recieving. i dont know if its the network im using celtel. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Damsal(f): 3:28pm On Oct 08, 2006 |
i have to say i'm really impressed by your organisation of your script for the first time it's not just bullet pointed or looking like quick jotted down notes. Seun: First of all hun, i really do think you should stop asking for our opinions on your stories cause like i once said every film has an audience. Some like romance, others action and many politics. You can't base our opinions of your story on the potential audience who could be giving a chance to watch it and like it. I mean, i thought there was too much rambling about black white and gray and the examples you gave were just a little too many. I realised that after i had finished reading i still hadn't got the idea of what had started the radical party (i probabaly skipped past it) I also think you do place to much on the money or profit you intend to make out of something. You have to realise that you need passion to be able to carry out something, if you keep on thinking about how much you are going to make you are not going to be able to carry things to their full potential casue after you realise that somethings don't yield much you'll just drop it in search for the next moneymaker and thats not how things should be. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Seun(m): 6:31pm On Oct 08, 2006 |
Thanks for the advice, Damsal. Thanks for the review, Damsal. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Rodent: 8:15am On May 11, 2007 |
Quote from: Seun on October 05, 2006, 06:14 PM I intend to produce a movie once I have a complete story that people really like. That was my intention but, alas, there is no profit in it. Without profit, one can't be focused. is money your motivation for all things you do? Creatives produce art for the love of the art, that should be your starting point. Yes everyone loves to get paid Yes everyone needs to put bread on the table Love the art for the art, passion is wot leads to a sence of accomplishment and a good movie. Dont look @ the profit but fulfill a dream |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Seun(m): 2:51am On May 14, 2007 |
When I was in school, I was considered an "all-rounder". I have so many dreams I wish to accomplish. If I focus on any particular dream, such as movie-making, then I won't be able to pursue others unless the one I pursue generates money. If project A succeeds and makes money, then I can use that as capital for project B. That's sustainable. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Nobody: 3:09am On May 14, 2007 |
Seun: all of us were all-rounders in school however those who achieve the most are those who set goals and put all their efforts to achieving that one goal. For as long as pursuing money is the motive for everything you do it is hard to imagine you succeeding at anyone of your many pet projects. Choose one and do the best you can. I love music, i write novels too but my passion from day has been to pursue a career in science. All others i consider as hobbies and that mindset has served me well till today. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Seun(m): 5:12am On May 14, 2007 |
Hmmm. Thanks for the advice. So what are your achievements so far in your area of focus - science? |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Nobody: 5:14am On May 14, 2007 |
Seun: wait and see. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Tosbi(m): 1:50pm On Aug 10, 2008 |
Hello Seun, i must confess dat i really love this story u are proposing here. It's really fantastic and especially being a student of Political Science in d University (although i ve my career in movie production), i ve a lot of interest in dis particular story and i'll be 100% available to help in developing d story especially 2 conform 2 d every day happenings in our politics in dis nation. Just as Raymand has said, dere shuld also be atleast a little bit of humour in d above scene u ve written. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Tosbi(m): 1:54pm On Aug 10, 2008 |
As a Political Scientist, i also plan 2 work on political oriented stories 2 help correct political problems we re xperience in dis nation |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Seun(m): 1:57pm On Aug 10, 2008 |
Thanks, Tosbi. Check out what I'm currently up to. I mailed you yesterday; did you get it? |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Tosbi(m): 2:04pm On Aug 10, 2008 |
Ok. I haven't checked my mail yet but i will do now. Tanks |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by Seun(m): 3:42pm On Sep 10, 2008 |
Moved to the new "share your work" forum. |
Re: 'The Radical Party' Story: A Screenplay by sisiSD: 6:53pm On Jun 16, 2011 |
i think i love the script, and your fighting spirit, but always put at the back of ur mind that there is room for improvement>>>>>>>>>>>>> |
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