chokolee12:
Don't let it bother u for once! Men aren't worth it just move on with ur life life is fun no time to waste. Mingle nd flex it

An0nimus:
how old are you?

uwa1:


Where are you from. Re you married. How old are u. Sumtyms its beta to kip quiet dan to show pple ur deficiency. Plz go bck home and get proper training.

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it

Nicepoker:
u sound like a product from a broken home

chowlade:
Do it back to him. dont let him have a clue dat u did it

chowlade:


My home is not like that. r u frm a broken home?

5minsmadness:
OP follow this advice

nickibarb:



Please help me. I'm drowning.

First, don't panic. Look up, look around for a strong branch to hold on to. Don't let it go lest u drown. Use it as ur anchor. God? A friend? A counsellor? A pastor?

I am feeling very depressed right now.

I am so heartbroken, I don't know what to do. I feel like I gave my marriage my all, I followed all the rules of a good wife, I read books, i don't know what I could have done differently.

Your problem now is that u feel stuck. Step out of ur rut. You are smart. You have options. 1001 of them. Think about this. Let the freedom of knowing this wash over u this minute.

I wanted to die to get away from my life, but now I didn't die, i'm happy he came home in time to rescue me.

You are stronger than u think u are. Reach deeper into u NOW.

This man has made me CRAZY.

Nobody can make u crazy without your permission. Quit the victim talk. Take back your power. Run things hence. Have a showdown talk with your husband. Let him know how much u hurt. Then draw boundaries in your marriage. Let him know which lines are no-go areas and be strong enough to mete out consequences when he steps out of agreed lines.

I feel like God has allowed a trial too great for me to handle to come my way. I feel like he over-rated my strength. I am just 27. Isn't it too soon for me to face this kind of life challenge?

Life challenges are life lessons. If u pass this test, u will be promoted and happy. If u fail it, misery may dine with u.

And yes. Pray. The word works.

chowlade:

maybe you need to get a proper training first.

Nicepoker:
why post such an advice.

plaetton:
My dear op, I sympathise with you.
We can only imagine the shock you are going through.

However, in the broader context, I want to say a few things, a few bitter truths to the general readers of this op, especially the women folk.
Before I go further though, let first say that I am neither a male chauvinist, player, insensitive nor immoral person. I am just one who studies and often come to terms with human nature, biological and social evolution.

I am always quite surprised when I see women shocked by cheating boyfriends or husbands.

The bitter truth, which I tell all my female friends, is that all men are predisposed to be non-monogamous.
Culture, social landscape and economics can either mitigate or exacerbate this predisposition.

Yes, a man can do his best at self control for as long as is possible, but the force of nature is hardly contained for a long period of time.

Speaking from a man's point of view, there are two types of infidelity. Infidelity of the heart, and infidelity of the body.

Now, in op's case and in majority of the cases, the man loves and adores his spouse, but his body is still unfaithful, bodily nourished by mercenary flesh vendors. This is an act of nature for which there is no cure, no mitigation whatsoever.
I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

A man, at one any point in time, with the right opportunity, will grab something on the side, irrespective of how much he loves, adores or is in harmony with his partner. This is a very hard pill to swallow.

I don't know how to repeat this without sounding sexist, chauvinistic, selfish and cruel (things that I am definitely not), but it is unrealistic to REALLY expect a man not to play away match for the entire length of " till death do us part ".

My point is that it is nature, not a moral question for males.
No woman should kill herself over this.


What should the op do right now?
I am not competent to advise.

nwadiuko1:
Instead of killing yourself.....come let us "cheat" on him

oseod:

May your manhood become breeze like caitlyn jenner

plaetton:
My dear op, I sympathise with you.
We can only imagine the shock you are going through.

However, in the broader context, I want to say a few things, a few bitter truths to the general readers of this op, especially the women folk.
Before I go further though, let first say that I am neither a male chauvinist, player, insensitive nor immoral person. I am just one who studies and often come to terms with human nature, biological and social evolution.

I am always quite surprised when I see women shocked by cheating boyfriends or husbands.

The bitter truth, which I tell all my female friends, is that all men are predisposed to be non-monogamous.
Culture, social landscape and economics can either mitigate or exacerbate this predisposition.

Yes, a man can do his best at self control for as long as is possible, but the force of nature is hardly contained for a long period of time.

Speaking from a man's point of view, there are two types of infidelity. Infidelity of the heart, and infidelity of the body.

Now, in op's case and in majority of the cases, the man loves and adores his spouse, but his body is still unfaithful, bodily nourished by mercenary flesh vendors. This is an act of nature for which there is no cure, no mitigation whatsoever.
I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

A man, at one any point in time, with the right opportunity, will grab something on the side, irrespective of how much he loves, adores or is in harmony with his partner. This is a very hard pill to swallow.

I don't know how to repeat this without sounding sexist, chauvinistic, selfish and cruel (things that I am definitely not), but it is unrealistic to REALLY expect a man not to play away match for the entire length of " till death do us part ".

My point is that it is nature, not a moral question for males.
No woman should kill herself over this.


What should the op do right now?
I am not competent to advise.

oseod:


But it his not a fightin stuvs nau...
I know u were probably hangry for her sake,but you know telling her to take revenge will not solve it, that is why heverybody his hangry wit u....

I but me no vex sha...because my name is.........
PACIFISTA!!!!!!! *evil laugh*

Ibsgal:
You said that you do not want to tell your family, but it might be good to tell at least one person. Tell a true friend or family member, someone who can call you and check up on you from time to time. Might be better not to tell too many people yet, as they may take sides and make things more difficult. Don't make too many decisions about your marriage now, we sometimes make irrational decisions when our minds are clouded with emotions.

Please stop thinking about suicide. I know this is a lot to deal with, and you mind is probably in overdrive, but your children need you. You said you wouldn't want another woman to come into their lives and maltreat them, so suicide is not the answer. Focus your energy on the kids, they are unselfishly yours. They may not be able to offer you words of comfort, but their presence alone will bring you some comfort.

If you are a christian or muslim then you know what must be done - be merciful, be forgiving, and be prayerful. Pray for serenity and strength. Once again, I know this seems like a lot to deal with, but there is a way out, and you are going to find it and be happy again. Don't forget to tell at least a friend, someone you know will be very understanding, will not judge you, and will be there to talk to and check up on you very often. Once you are out of this rut, you can then decide if the marriage is worth saving. You have my most sincere condolences, and I wish strength during this difficult time.

plaetton:
My dear op, I sympathise with you.
We can only imagine the shock you are going through.

However, in the broader context, I want to say a few things, a few bitter truths to the general readers of this op, especially the women folk.
Before I go further though, let first say that I am neither a male chauvinist, player, insensitive nor immoral person. I am just one who studies and often come to terms with human nature, biological and social evolution.

I am always quite surprised when I see women shocked by cheating boyfriends or husbands.

The bitter truth, which I tell all my female friends, is that all men are predisposed to be non-monogamous.
Culture, social landscape and economics can either mitigate or exacerbate this predisposition.

Yes, a man can do his best at self control for as long as is possible, but the force of nature is hardly contained for a long period of time.

Speaking from a man's point of view, there are two types of infidelity. Infidelity of the heart, and infidelity of the body.

Now, in op's case and in majority of the cases, the man loves and adores his spouse, but his body is still unfaithful, bodily nourished by mercenary flesh vendors. This is an act of nature for which there is no cure, no mitigation whatsoever. undecided
I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

A man, at one any point in time, with the right opportunity, will grab something on the side, irrespective of how much he loves, adores or is in harmony with his partner. This is a very hard pill to swallow.

I don't know how to repeat this without sounding sexist, chauvinistic, selfish and cruel (things that I am definitely not), but it is unrealistic to REALLY expect a man not to play away match for the entire length of " till death do us part ".

My point is that it is nature, not a moral question for males.
No woman should kill herself over this.


What should the op do right now?
I am not competent to advise.

repogirl:
This is what happens when your whole life revolves around your husband. Am not saying it shouldn't but not this badly.....

Its in your hands to make the hurting stop
Its in your hands to forgive him and move on
Its in your hands to leave him if that's what you want

Time can heal wounds, so give it some time, reflect, ask yourself what you want to do.

Am sure he knows he hurt you so much already, put him in your prayers and let God do the work in his life.

Killing yourself is the cowardly way out and will only open your home and kids to chaos. So stand, be strong and fight for your self and your kids.
That's all I can advice.
Its all in your hands.

oseod:


Ah!!!! Babe its like u don't know how sexy this bobo is oo!!!
Hmmm, by the time u see my 10 packs, u'll be the one chasing me

Acidosis:
Op, are you a Christian?
What were you doing at home on a Sunday morning?
Did you marry a drunkard? All alcoholics cheat.
Do you have a pastor?
What's the role of your husband in the church?

nickibarb:


my dear i wish it was superstory. The second c/s was due to the short interval of pregnancies. my obgyn didnt think it will be safe to attempt vag delivery so soon after the first c/s. Second preg was kind of unplanned. hubby seemed to be in a hurry to get me preg cos he didn't get married early. when it happened, he was so overjoyed, me i kind of grew into the idea cause of cos, children are blessing of the lord. but no more babies for me though. I am too unhappy

chowlade:


What some men won't tolorate they'll b doing it to their wives, nw look at how most of u r reacting to my comment. I'm yet to come across a guy dat rebuked d husband. y'all r somehow in support of d confused husband that's taken an innocent woman for granted. It can't be me though, i knw how to handle myself out of situations without coming to Nairaland. I will go out their and get this manny too.

freecocoa:
Sorry about it all, all I know is that, in time, you'll feel better, just take sometime to concentrate on your children and self, make sure to think it through before making any decisions, whatever you do, don't do what you are not comfortable with.

nickibarb:


my dear i wish it was superstory. The second c/s was due to the short interval of pregnancies. my obgyn didnt think it will be safe to attempt vag delivery so soon after the first c/s. Second preg was kind of unplanned. hubby seemed to be in a hurry to get me preg cos he didn't get married early. when it happened, he was so overjoyed, me i kind of grew into the idea cause of cos, children are blessing of the lord. but no more babies for me though. I am too unhappy