At 49, Jubril was thought to have an enviable
marriage by his married friends – a 22-year
partnership with beautiful Tumi who bore him
three lovely children. They met in college and were
almost inseparable. Then she became a mother of three, and
gradually her appearance at parties with him began to fade. “When Jubril started
staying out late and at most weekends, I warned
my daughter of its implications”, Miriam, Tumi’s
mother said. “As a Muslim, Jubril could be
polygamous if he desired, but Tumi seemed to
trust him not to take another wife. Well, he did. Not only that, he had said that since they lived in
a sprawling accommodation, the new wife could
have one of the chalets. At his age and with his
position, Jubril said he wouldn’t want to be running
from one woman’s house to the other if his new
wife were to live on a different premises. Tumi was devastated to say the least. She’d invested
so much into her marriage, and to be replaced
with a new model in her life as if she was an old
car, was too hard for her to take. “I had to counsel her all of the time, to tell her
that she too was a product of polygamy, but she
believed her husband was throwing away all they’d
both worked for, all the investments in emotions
and their home for a gold-digger. She was sure
her husband would soon regret his decision. When I eventually met Yosola, the new wife, I was a bit
taken aback by her simplicity. She was young and
fresh-faced all right, but you could hardly call
her a gold-digger. She came from a very strict
Muslim background. Her parents were rich and
she turned out to be a successful business woman.



www.vanguardngr.com/2015/11/how-to-help-your-daughter-cope-with-accepting-her-hubbys-second-wife/

Ignore mode.

Life is too short to focus on anything beyond your control. Her utmost priority should be her own happiness and it does not depend on her husband unless she gives him the power to be in control of her life and [size=18pt]well-being[/size].

What types of demonic brains are behind such stories.

Repent.

Shoro niyen

Eleyi gidi gan.. Brb...
Mama Goldenruby aki yin o.. Eku ojo meta.. Hope you re good?

I must say this is a creative one. A father advising his daughter on accepting a polygamous relationship

Seriously though any time I hear or read of a Muslim relationship turning polygamous I am forced to wonder "what was the woman expecting before " You marry a man whose religion encourages and endorses polygamy and you really think you'll be the only one for the rest of your lives? Lol.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, av seen some monogamous Muslim relationships but let's face it: the reason most men don't go into polygamy is because of either religion or in deference to/consideration of thier wife. If not a man that can afford polygamy will happily go into it. Even some wretched men who can't handle a second wife still venture into it with thier eyes fully opened to the detriment of thier family; talk less of a well-to-do responsible man who can easily cater for more than one woman.


I will always remember a case where one 'Alhaji' in his 50s started getting the hots for a young single Christian lady in her 30s. No suitor was coming for her and the Alhaji loved her to bits. However he didn't want to hurt his wife's feelings by marrying a second wife. They had been a happily married couple for close to 18yrs. Religion /tradition was in full support of him taking a second wife by now but he had been refraining cos of his wife.

So instead he started seeing this girl in secret. Rented a house for her. Bought a car for her. Started keeping late nights. This "Christian" lady knew he was married oh but still welcomed him. Who no want companionship?

Eventually, as it usually happens with such things, the wife found out. She monitored the woman for a while then one day came visiting soon after her husband left the Christian woman's place. The Christian woman was caught like a rat in a trap. She couldn't deny that the man just left her place. Funny enough this Alhaja calmed her down and gave her an offer.
Instead of running around like mice, why not marry her husband? She didn't mind and felt it was rather embarrassing for an 'old man' like her husband to be running around like a teenager.

Christian woman agreed after a few weeks.

Was Alhaja hurt? Maybe. No one knows what would be going on in her head. But she told any who cared to know that it was better that way and that the man had tried for her. She seemed genuinely pleased in the christian woman and her simple ways. She supported the marriage throughout.


And they are all still together after five years. The second wife calls the first "mummy" and the first sees her as a younger sister. They wear matching outfits whenever they go on outings and you hardly see both of them apart.

For those who can handle polygamy properly it can be a very happy union. For those who can't it can be a pain. But then even people in monogamous marriages have serious issues.

5minsmadness:
I must say this is a creative one. A father advising his daughter on accepting a polygamous relationship

Seriously though any time I hear or read of a Muslim relationship turning polygamous I am forced to wonder "what was the woman expecting before " You marry a man whose religion encourages and endorses polygamy and you really think you'll be the only one for the rest of your lives? Lol.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, av seen some monogamous Muslim relationships but let's face it: the reason most men don't go into polygamy is because of either religion or in deference to/consideration of thier wife. If not a man that can afford polygamy will happily go into it. Even some wretched men who can't handle a second wife still venture into it with thier eyes fully opened to the detriment of thier family; talk less of a well-to-do responsible man who can easily cater for more than one woman.


I will always remember a case where one 'Alhaji' in his 50s started getting the hots for a young single Christian lady in her 30s. No suitor was coming for her and the Alhaji loved her to bits. However he didn't want to hurt his wife's feelings by marrying a second wife. They had been a happily married couple for close to 18yrs. Religion /tradition was in full support of him taking a second wife by now but he had been refraining cos of his wife.

So instead he started seeing this girl in secret. Rented a house for her. Bought a car for her. Started keeping late nights. This "Christian" lady knew he was married oh but still welcomed him. Who no want companionship?

Eventually, as it usually happens with such things, the wife found out. She monitored the woman for a while then one day came visiting soon after her husband left the Christian woman's place. The Christian woman was caught like a rat in a trap. She couldn't deny that the man just left her place. Funny enough this Alhaja calmed her down and gave her an offer.
Instead of running around like mice, why not marry her husband? She didn't mind and felt it was rather embarrassing for an 'old man' like her husband to be running around like a teenager.

Christian woman agreed after a few weeks.

Was Alhaja hurt? Maybe. No one knows what would be going on in her head. But she told any who cared to know that it was better that way and that the man had tried for her. She seemed genuinely pleased in the christian woman and her simple ways. She supported the marriage throughout.


And they are all still together after five years. The second wife calls the first "mummy" and the first sees her as a younger sister. They wear matching outfits whenever they go on outings and you hardly see both of them apart.

For those who can handle polygamy properly it can be a very happy union. For those who can't it can be a pain. But then even people in monogamous marriages have serious issues.

Interesting and true.

Mindfulness:

Interesting and true.

Very







Very





Correct

5minsmadness:
I must say this is a creative one. A father advising his daughter on accepting a polygamous relationship

Seriously though any time I hear or read of a Muslim relationship turning polygamous I am forced to wonder "what was the woman expecting before " You marry a man whose religion encourages and endorses polygamy and you really think you'll be the only one for the rest of your lives? Lol.

For those who can handle polygamy properly it can be a very happy union. For those who can't it can be a pain.

And this says it all.

People should learn to be honest with themselves when seeking advice on here. If you knew the specific rules and regulations surrounding the union you sought at the point of tying the knot, why cry wolf when the other party seeks to enact them??

bqlekan:
Eleyi gidi gan.. Brb...
Mama Goldenruby aki yin o.. Eku ojo meta.. Hope you re good?

uncle bqlekan E shey Sir, I am doing good Alhamdulillahi. How're you Sire

Aminat,ayisa,bilikisu,shakeerat,suliat,zainab, halima ,rihanna una well done

Your religion will make you to continually share phenese under the same roof so deal with it

5minsmadness:
I must say this is a creative one. A father advising his daughter on accepting a polygamous relationship

Seriously though any time I hear or read of a Muslim relationship turning polygamous I am forced to wonder "what was the woman expecting before " You marry a man whose religion encourages and endorses polygamy and you really think you'll be the only one for the rest of your lives? Lol.

I'm not saying it doesn't happen, av seen some monogamous Muslim relationships but let's face it: the reason most men don't go into polygamy is because of either religion or in deference to/consideration of thier wife. If not a man that can afford polygamy will happily go into it. Even some wretched men who can't handle a second wife still venture into it with thier eyes fully opened to the detriment of thier family; talk less of a well-to-do responsible man who can easily cater for more than one woman.


I will always remember a case where one 'Alhaji' in his 50s started getting the hots for a young single Christian lady in her 30s. No suitor was coming for her and the Alhaji loved her to bits. However he didn't want to hurt his wife's feelings by marrying a second wife. They had been a happily married couple for close to 18yrs. Religion /tradition was in full support of him taking a second wife by now but he had been refraining cos of his wife.

So instead he started seeing this girl in secret. Rented a house for her. Bought a car for her. Started keeping late nights. This "Christian" lady knew he was married oh but still welcomed him. Who no want companionship?

Eventually, as it usually happens with such things, the wife found out. She monitored the woman for a while then one day came visiting soon after her husband left the Christian woman's place. The Christian woman was caught like a rat in a trap. She couldn't deny that the man just left her place. Funny enough this Alhaja calmed her down and gave her an offer.
Instead of running around like mice, why not marry her husband? She didn't mind and felt it was rather embarrassing for an 'old man' like her husband to be running around like a teenager.

Christian woman agreed after a few weeks.

Was Alhaja hurt? Maybe. No one knows what would be going on in her head. But she told any who cared to know that it was better that way and that the man had tried for her. She seemed genuinely pleased in the christian woman and her simple ways. She supported the marriage throughout.


And they are all still together after five years. The second wife calls the first "mummy" and the first sees her as a younger sister. They wear matching outfits whenever they go on outings and you hardly see both of them apart.

For those who can handle polygamy properly it can be a very happy union. For those who can't it can be a pain. But then even people in monogamous marriages have serious issues.

The father is in the best position to

An unwilling first wife might be bitter; a meee wife might see the first wife's pain through coloured lenses.

I must say some Muslim wives have conditioned themselves to accept and make the best of the situation... More time to pursue their personal interests.

Re: happiness.... There might be more than meet the eye...

I know a family with two wives.. First couldn't conceive after several trials and hubby had proved himself outside....

So he married a 2nd wife who I thought was a victim till I heard she practically siphoned all the man's wealth under everyone's nose.

They also used to have bitter fights and yes, they wear same attire everywhere

goldenruby:
uncle _bqlekan E shey Sir, I am doing good Alhamdulillahi. How're you Sire

Alihamdulilahi ma'am.. Hope work is going on well? Do have a wonderful day ma..