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Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by SmartMen: 1:01pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.


I am grateful that you have wisdom, which is the most paramount in discerning what to do.

What you need is courage and boldness to confront this situation. Though you have but it is not yet fully alive, ABOUT 50% of it is still sleeping.

Be bold.

Take my advise, acquire a skill, digital skill especially that you can use to get freelance jobs in and outside Nigeria. You will be here and commanding money. Visit the nairaland business section and scan through what u can do.

This will come handy when you must have finish your HND and looking for almost non existing jobs in Nigeria.

What kind of digital skills can you acquire?

1. Video Editing

2. Graphics Editing

3. Website Designing, App Development, Coding

How to make money with these?

You can use 1 and 2 to make 3 bring you money.

Let's say you see a business page of a company that does not have a website. Build a rapport of by offering 1 or 2 as free gift to them that they can use to promote their businesses with the graphics or video you made for them... keep chatting them up and checking up on them once a while... after you see they have become comfortable with you, you can pitch your website design to them or ask them to recommend you to someone.

Over time, you will gain a lot of clients or customer.

There are other areas you can function which is importation from china... but this one, for advance people, you will need to learn a lot of digital marketing skills such as facebook ads, profitable products to promote...., logistics, and a host of other things... though VERY stressful but the money you will make is super good. some guys make as much as 400k per month from this...

You can turn around and teach all these for a fee to people who want to learn.

May lack of money depart from you starting from now if you take actions on this steps. It wont be easy though... but with determination, u will conquer.
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by WaffenSS(m): 1:01pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.


Don't worry he's not gonna last long. He's eating himself to an early death.
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by ZooOga: 1:02pm On May 05, 2020
"Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction"

op u may wanna seek divine help for u and your family. ask and you shall receive.

Matthew 7:7

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by ridwanlawal: 1:02pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
this is exactly what I've been telling my Mom, but she never listen. She always back the reason why she can't go Is, she can't leave her child(my younger sister 23) years alone in pH. She's has been with our pastor since young age and she is almost through with her studies. 400level in ust
Those are craps. If you lose what you dont value it wont pain you that is the case of your father. Be man enough to act do what you feel wont make you regret. How which your dad is no longer alive cant you make decisions?
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by FnbAutos(m): 1:04pm On May 05, 2020
Try to graduate get a good job, you & your siblings should rent a small apartment for her and open a small business where she can channel her energy to. Don’t move her to her village o, he might find her there, so take her to an unknown place, please. I keep telling people; “LOVE IS NEVER ENOUGH”...
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by raysrays(m): 1:04pm On May 05, 2020
My friend how many times have you reacted when your dad is doing this. You are twenty five and you don't think you are an adult yet. A lot of responsibility comes with the word adult. So think, call your parent and talk to them, be bold. Running away is not the solution, give them serious warning of what you will do if such nonsense persist. "Except if you nor know yourself" they should respect you, it all depends on the way "you take dey sha"

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by AmazingELixir: 1:04pm On May 05, 2020
grin


OP hope you no carry covid 19 enter port ooh!
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Dumfrank(m): 1:05pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

You guys should tie him up at the back yard or kitchen, beat him properly, the way Indian police flog masses that do not adhere to laws/instructions. Beat him for like 3 days without food, and later take him to church for deliverance. Honor your father/mother no they for this one. I will pray to God on your behalf for forgiveness.

1 Like

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Ladycewhy(f): 1:06pm On May 05, 2020
JONNYSPUTE:
...Funny but true.
papa Ade ,this one you are agreeing so lipsrsealed
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Shakaranews2020: 1:06pm On May 05, 2020
Sardauna24:
How is this thrash take concern us?


Go fvck yourself.
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by JONNYSPUTE(m): 1:07pm On May 05, 2020
Ladycewhy:
papa Ade ,this one you are agreeing so lipsrsealed
...Some men can be difficult.Why you dey call me papa Ade?
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by BackToLife: 1:07pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
ekiti state
Senseless tribalist are asking to make mockery of you, don't mind them. It is not about State or Tribe, it can happen anywhere.

Self-pity or ranting on would never help you. Nobody will, they will only be asking for "see finish things". You and your siblings should do what I advised earlier. Also, forget about Schooling, it is useless. You and yours siblings should different start businesses no matter how small. I prophesy that within a year, you will all be amazed. Even if it is putting a bench and table at a busy Junction and cooking and selling food there, or frying akara and yam, etc. There are many businesses that requires only small capital. Forget shame o!

1 Like

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by oruma19: 1:09pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.
Those kind of fathers ehn, u use dem to do blood money. Shikena
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by MrCork17: 1:10pm On May 05, 2020
Lovelyn451:
Its her fate, leave her to it


Please can u accept 1000 naira cash for only hug, kiss, romance & extra hug? How much? smiley
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by malele(m): 1:10pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

Beat that man that himself ur father up
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Jelzin2412(m): 1:10pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

Op pls send me an email using my email address on my profile. Pls do so, we need to talk...
Regards
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Ladycewhy(f): 1:11pm On May 05, 2020
JONNYSPUTE:
...Some men can be difficult.Why you dey call me papa Ade?
lol, the worse part is your advice goes through the second ear.such men are better left alone to their doom, but in most cases separating their wives from them as the third party is nearly impossible.


Seems these guys are expert at spotting good prey that will easily develop Stockholm syndrome for them.In the end without drastic actions such men end up going down and dragging their immediate family members along with them especially their wives. I have seen this happen over and over again and it's just sad.

3 Likes

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by MrCork17: 1:12pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.


Bro. Is your mum lightskin? smiley
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Elzakzaky: 1:12pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
M.
Omo to ni baba oun ko ni owo, enu e nj iwo na wa yen. Appreciate your while yoh still can. You will later realise how important he is
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by TheVictorious(m): 1:12pm On May 05, 2020
thatsleepboy1:


Bro, Lekan239, I've all read your replies and tbh here, I'm having the same ish. Pple might quote me wrong or say trash any religion and God not existing. But with my careful observance abt what happened to me. It's like we have the same problem and we're in d same situation. I don't know if you're a Christian, but I'll advise that you watch your family background very well and know if it occurs in each lineage cos if you look closely, your father might be someone great and he's not acting due to he desires to do that. If you leave it like that, one of your brother will do the same and likely worst than what your dad is doing. He's battling forces from his family. I'll advise u to take care of your mom closely but don't abandon your father. Take up your time, hustle tight and enough to foot yourself for a period of 6monyhs without working and don't be pessimistic abt things and don't discriminate any church. Kindly go for a thorough deliverance so that you'll be free from those shackles and if possible pray very hard. In as much as I'm a Catholic, I'll advise you to go to mfm HQ at iwaya cos I stay close to the place or at prayer city and watch closely what the Lord will do in your household. It might not come easy, but at the long run, with your strict adherence and hope and faith, things will fall back in place in your household. It'll be a history to behold and your father will come begging in advanced tears. Good luck bruh.

Hello dear,

My father used to largely take advantage of us, and all we did was end up praying and fasting for him until we just accepted fate and stopped expecting anything from him. We stopped leaving anything important at his mercy, and he, of course, continued, until he began to notice that we suddenly didn't need him again.

Don't ever make the oppressor the victim. That is exactly what the religious man does when he begins to pray for a parent who is taking advantage of him. It becomes even worse when such an irresponsible parent finds out that you're praying for him because you think he has a spiritual problem.

4 Likes

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Christmasdon(m): 1:13pm On May 05, 2020
Gloriagee:
I see... Maybe you should consider a direct entry to the National Open University or a part time program if they have the NUC accreditations. It's crazy out there in the labor market so I'm wondering if you have any options.

. ARE U A GRADUATE OF NOUN? ANYWAYS HOW CAN I DO MY TMA1 GST COURSES I OPENED THE NEW SITES OF DOING GST TMA ALL I SEE I DASHBOARD AND I COULDN'T SEE MY COURSE. HOW DO I DO IT, DO YOU HAVE A CLUE?
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Happymoney: 1:13pm On May 05, 2020
I understand how you feel, your mum needs to save her life and enjoy her children,
but most importantly she need to engage in serious prayer. Life is deeper than what we think,



Mountain of fire and Miracles type of prayer may help to deliver and save her marriage and family.

The bible said " Eph 6:12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.

1 Like

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by innobarca(m): 1:15pm On May 05, 2020
I will never ever call my father or mother names,My Own Decision.

Your mother is a good woman.

Sometimes when you are told how your mother and father started their marriage bf things went bad you will understand why some women or men refuse to leave their marriage even in situations like yours.
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Evercurious(f): 1:16pm On May 05, 2020
TheGreatIYANU:
Just focus on getting your mum into full recovery. Do whatever you must, as far as it is legal and godly.

Dont be ashamed to hustle right now... carry block if you must.

Once she is better you and all your siblings should really round and take her (forcefully if needed) to her peoples place pending when one of you can get a place.

Dont completely abandon your father, cater for him to the best of your ability but ensure your mother is fine.

That should be your sole singular focus right now.

Cater for which father? Pls Op shouldn't waste a single dime on him or else he ll SURELY regret it.. THEIR LITTLE RESOURCES SHOULD BE USED WISELY AND NOT ON A WAYWARD MAN THAT LL THROW THAT RESOURCES ON THE NEXT AVAILABLE GIRL RIGHT INFRONT OF THEM.

MEN LIKE THAT ARE EVERYWHERE IN PH..

3 Likes

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Abyima(m): 1:16pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.
That's what my father did. He frustrated my mum. But today, he is no more. And we are waxing stronger. We had to run from him when it became serious.

As the first child you are, try to take responsibility as a father now. You should be strong for your mum and siblings.

I suggest you should talk to him like son and father. If he doesn't listen, u can cut him off by staying far from him. No matter what, he is still your father. You can go and visit him whenever you wish.

It seems like that your mother loves him so much. Talk to her and here from her also. If she wishes to be with him, just leave them to be.

Everything boils down to money. If there is money, u can rent a house for your mum and siblings so as to have peace of mind. And you can still send some money to your dad if you wish.

If you continue living this way, you might also be affected. Because after drying your mum's pocket, he might come for you and your siblings to dry your own pocket.



Sorry to say this, your father is acting like a gold digger....

1 Like

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by MadCow1: 1:17pm On May 05, 2020
MrCork17:



Bro. Is your mum lightskin? smiley

grin

This is 2020 and you are still loco.. grin


Stay crazy my Man.

2 Likes

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Macon1212: 1:18pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.

When your Mom recover just take her to be living with you
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Evercurious(f): 1:18pm On May 05, 2020
bukatyne:


What of your mother's siblings?

And have you engaged her why she keeps putting up with your dad? I think you need that answer to intelligently take a step.


Maybe her siblings cautioned her earlier. But she didnt listen and so they have left her to her fate . And they did just the right thing.. Maybe she wants to learn the hard way

1 Like

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Evercurious(f): 1:20pm On May 05, 2020
Femsyn:
This is a very typical story of many Nigerian homes. Later in the man's old age, when children and wife ignore and treat him like trash, one stranger, in the name of a fiance, who has no idea of their history, will become judgmental and share blames.

Another uncle will encourage other women to endure abuse, just because his own mother barely survived a marriage with an egotistical and insensitive man.

How you treat this man later is completely up to you and your siblings, as we all have different tolerance levels, and no one has any right to question your decision. Good or bad. However, I will suggest not to pay evil with evil, as these people have a way of getting hooked in our conscience, especially after they die.

In cases like this, I wonder if women deny their own families, as soon as they get married.

OP, where are your uncles, aunties and grandparents?

Trust me they must have warned her but she refused to listen.
Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by Ytea(f): 1:20pm On May 05, 2020
The choice of who to marry isn't beans embarassed

2 Likes

Re: Help: My Father Is Killing My Mom Gradually by daviesmania(m): 1:20pm On May 05, 2020
Lekan239:
My parents got married 27years ago, since then it has been hell for my mom. It's as if my mom was forced on him or did the love just seize to exit, this I need advice on, from my brothers and sisters here on what to do next.

It all began in 1993, two years later I was born (1995), then we reside in Lagos but my dad later moved to pH in search of greener pastures. He only comes back home (Lagos) once in a while. My mom tried all her best to cater for her kids during all those period with no help or whatsoever coming from my Dad. It wasn't easy at all.

Fast forward to early 2003, my dad came visiting after two years without hearing from him and then my mom decided we are going with him to pH, he opposed but my mom Insisted. To cut the long story short, after we get to pH we found out my dad was living carelessly, womanizing, his social life is zero because he doesn't drink or smoke but he lavished all his money outside and Care less about his family.

My mom strived and engaged in little business which we managed to survive on. My dad only comes home when he is Short of money and acted low and submissive but as soon as he got some money, he changed immediately.

So 2010 I left pH to the village, was writing waec, looking for admission and so on, later going to lag to hustle around 2013 as I'm the one to foot my education expenses.

2015 I gained admission in a polytechnic, after my OND in 2017 I went back to lag to begin the hustle as I have to further my education, all this period I did not visit my family in Port Harcourt. I went back for HND in 2018 but had to withdraw because of lack of funds, I went back again in 2019 because a family member advised he will foot the bills which he later didn't do.

So because of this covid 19 I visited my parents in pH. My mom was very ill, she can't move nor stand and she has been the one taking care of the family, my father inclusive. My father has been a lazy man who depends solely on his wife for survival. He does not work, he does not stay at home with his sick wife. 6am he will enter the kitchen and eat any food he finds he won't even ask if four of his kids and my mom will eat. He will go and sit down in people's shops around the streets discussing with people's wife's. 10am he will be back home, straight to the kitchen to check if there's any food if my mom had drop money for us to prepare food, he will eat it without even talking to anybody, in fact he owns the kitchen now. He repeats same 2pm, 5pm and night meal also. I'm just so angry right now I don't even know what I am typing again.

After seeing all this behavior i advised my mother to give him some space, she gave birth to four children for him and three of us can survive on our own as we are no longer kids, but she won't obliged it's just as if maybe she is okay with suffering.

Today this morning, my dad did the most outrageous thing, he woke up and started ranting, saying does my mom think he is not going to be rich later, and he won't stay here forever. I got the message he was passing that he is going to leave my Mom if he stumbles upon some money. And I exactly told my mom this statement yesternight too.

Please you guys should advise me on what to do because at this junction, it hurts me a lot having the knowledge that my mom is with man who doesnt care or love her, even at her sick bed, he never for once visited the doctor nor the man of God taking care of my Mom.
. had to screw all the way up to know if ur a babe but thank God ur a guy. U didn't include ur tribe, that way I would've known what become of ur dad if he hammers..... However, I will advice u to kill him.... But I'll also advice u not to take my advise..... Pray for him instead... Stay safe..

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