₦airaland Forum

Welcome, Guest: Join Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 1,914,363 members, 3,922,075 topics. Date: Monday, 20 November 2017 at 02:45 AM



(0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (of 20 pages)

Crime / Re: Ex..pdp Chairman Son Murder What Truly Transpired by ashjay001(m): 2:45am

Please don't say that ..he is dead . in other words its okay for any woman to kill her husband ? If we allow influence nice to prevail on this devil ...women will begin to unleash the devil

I'm actually angry at d guy! Foolish enough to sleep in that house! Still foolish enough to sleep behind an unlocked door!

I'm seriously pissed!
Family / Re: Help!! My Father's Brother Wants To Inherit Some Of His Properties by Daboomb: 1:43am

Your uncle is still family.

Your mom shouldn't be stingy, she should give him some properties. That's exactly what your late dad will have done for his brother.
After all, you said he isn't doing so well now.

She should give him some.
Just like your dad died to leave them, he will too.
Life is vanity upon vanity.

I'd also advice you guys strive hard for yourselves and don't count so much on your dad's properties. He worked for them, work for yours too.
They are just a bonus and not the principal.

Agreed that "Uncle" is still family but wait:

- Why is he so aggresive about sharing properties and cant wait for the dead to beburied first?
- Why cant he just apply himself to working hard and make his own money, afterall, he is trained by the dead man, to graduate level?
- What are the children left behind supposed to live-on, now that their father is dead and "Uncle" wants to eat-off what is left behind?
- Why should some family members be so concerned in sharing the property of a dead relative, when their are children still to be trained?
- Is the "Uncle" not supposed toeven be contributing money for the children of his brother and even offering to train them, instead of fighting them over what their Dad left behind?

I say the Eldest Son should brandish cutlass and threaten to behead any Uncle who does not go away and work for his own properties.
These Properties belong to ur Father and woe betide any Uncle who shows face!
Food / Re: Ways To Catch A Chicken by bigtt76(f): 1:39am
grin grin

Sight target {preferably the pesky neighbourhood rooster who goes around terrorising and raping the hens} and close in with a handful of maize in one hand and a big fat stick in the other. When you are close enough,toss the maize and call the target.

The target rushes to you and pecks away happily at your feet,unaware that his end has come.

Raise stick and smash! The target gives a mighty "KWAAAAAA!" and drops dead. Stuff carcass into a basket, fling the murder weapon into the forest and sneak back to your room, where a pot is already on the boil.
Another method:
Lure target to you with grains of maize. When it is eating its last meal at your feet,grab target by the throat with one hand,ball second hand into a fist, raise fist as high as you can and ...

SMASH! PIPIAOW!! KPUGBUU!!! The target won't know what hit it. Stuff carcass into bag or basket and flee.
CAVEAT-This method is messy. Victims might be decapitated.
And another. . .
Lure target to you in the afore mentioned manner. Swiftly grab target and strangle. Stuff corpse into bag and vamoose.
**Author's note-ALL the methods described here have been tried and tested,with satisfactory results {don't ask me who}.

HOWEVER,the success of each method is hinged on the total and complete absence of witnesses.

Nota bene grin
Family / Re: Help!! My Father's Brother Wants To Inherit Some Of His Properties by Daboomb: 1:37am

I am not sure what is dishonourable. Culture and tradition is not a thing to pick and choose when convenient. If you don't want this to happen then make a will. If a man dies intestate in Nigeria his estate is subject to Native law and Custom. e.g in Yoruba land a woman does not inherit her husband's property only his children do . Without going into so much detail native law varies from place to place and if the man is a Muslim Sharia law prevails. Under sharia law there is a formula for sharing.

Once they are legally married, she becomes his Next of Kin, except he has written a Will which dictates how his Estate is to be shared on his death.

And "Legal Statutes" supercede Native Law and Custom, ....where both operate in same locality and are in contention

Men should PLEASE, Write A WILL!
No matter how trivial what you have is, save your family the trouble and harrassment of extended family members who have made it their "life occupation" to wait for another family member to die so they can start wahala with the children/wife

Some of these family members are not even on speaking terms with the dead personwhen he was alive but once he dies, they suddenly develop some "love" for his properties!
angry angry
Crime / Re: Ex..pdp Chairman Son Murder What Truly Transpired by lazygal: 1:31am
That serves him right, they keep divorcing and marrying anything they see

Please don't say that ..he is dead . in other words its okay for any woman to kill her husband ? If we allow influence nice to prevail on this devil ...women will begin to unleash the devil
Family / Re: Help!! My Father's Brother Wants To Inherit Some Of His Properties by Daboomb: 1:25am

There are some standard forms you fill with details of his assets, dependants and liabilities (debts, loans etc)

It also conations a form whereby you and your mother or just her apply to be the administrator of his property which means to take care of it for a few months and facilitate it's subdivision among his children and wife. It only takes months. Not sure of Nigeria coz am not there.

Its a process you can start yourself with help from court registry. Its best you get a lawyer to start the process because the paperwork can be confusing.

It is called a PROBATE.
He will go to the court registrar and request for Probate forms.
They should also file that his Mum becomes and gets the 'Power of Attorney' over his Estates.

But l will advice he uses a Lawyer to do these as the court process canbe very frustrating and you cant bet against it that your Uncle and your other relatives wont get in-touch with such Registrar and turn thing on its head against you and your Mum.

@BruncleZuma made a suggestion concerning a Lawyer that can help you.

BTW: Yoru Dad is dead and the burial Circus is exactly what it is, A CIRCUS!
Dont let anyone use that to blackmail you into anything. Burial or not, it will not bring him back to life.

Legally, since he died intestate and has a legal wife, (your mum) becaimes his next of kin and therefore inherits him.
If they misbehave, your Mum should also get a restraining/gagging order against them in a court.

Act fast because "Fortune favours the swift".
Religion / Re: Higher Everyday — RESPECT YOUR PARENTS by brocab: 12:53am
My parents, have left me with remembrance, It makes no difference to those who are gone and buried without knowing the Lord, if you choose to respect the dead, what do you expect them to do for you?
I choose not to respect the Spirituality dead after they had gone, I chose to respect those who are Spirituality living in Christ, after they had gone.
So what is my story telling you, Spirituality thinking let the dead, bury the dead.
{Revelation 14:13} And I heard a voice from heaven saying blessed are the dead, who die in the Lord from now on, Blessed indeed say the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours for their deeds followed them..
Revelation tells us blessed are the dead who are in Christ-Jesus say's, let the dead. bury the dead {Those who are dead in Spirit, bury the dead in Spirit.
{Philippians 1:3} I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, {I have remembrance for my parents}

Did you bury them when they died? undecided
Business / Re: Credit Alert From An Unknown Person by JazzMode: 12:35am
It could be from an anonymous donor, I do that too especially when I don't want people thinking I have money.If the person use a teller to pay,trust me it is a dead end except you have to pull out the bank CCTV.

Well thought out. The phone number on the slip too is another good option.
Religion / Re: Higher Everyday — RESPECT YOUR PARENTS by engineerboat(m): 11:58pm On Nov 19
No..I will not respect the dead.

you donts want to respect your parent.

if I may ask, did they offend you
Islam for Muslims / Re: Share Your Most Powerful Du'as by Raintaker(m): 11:41pm On Nov 19

Dont mind that guy. He doesnt understand Arabic. The Dua is based on a few verses from the Surat Al Najm and calls for good guidance and to keep evil away.

Here is the transliteration:

Bismillah Ar Rahman Ar Raheem

Afraytum Allat walUzza
wal Mannah althalatah Alakhra
Tilka AlGharaniq Ala'ala waa inna shafa'thun litartaja

Recite this powerful Du'a for prosperity and goodwill and to gain the most benifit out of it , make sure your fanoly and friends learn it.
You are an idiotic pagan.
How does picking a few verses look like Surah Najim to you.
Muslims are educated and know their religion, we know your mission but if we decide to ignore you you may end up confusing new reverts to Islam.

See Surah All Najim here

Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem Wannajmi izaa hawaaMaa dalla saahibukum wa maa ghawaaWa maa yyantiqu 'anilhawaaaIn huwa illaa Wahyuny yoohaa'Allamahoo shadeedul quwaaZoo mirratin fastawaaWa huwa bil ufuqil a'laaSumma danaa fatadallaFakaana qaaba qawsaini aw adnaaFa awhaaa ilaa 'abdihee maaa awhaaMaa kazabal fu'aadu maa ra aaAfatumaaroonahoo 'alaa maayaraaWa laqad ra aahu nazlatan ukhraa'Inda sidratil muntaha'Indahaa jannatul maawaaIz yaghshas sidrata maa yaghshaaMaa zaaghal basaru wa maa taghaaLaqad ra aa min aayaati Rabbihil kubraaaAfara'aytumul laata wal 'uzzaaWa manaatas saalisatal ukhraaA-lakumuz zakaru wa lahul unsaaTilka izan qismatun deezaaIn hiya illaaa asmaaa'un sammaitumoohaaa antum wa aabaaa'ukum maaa anzalal laahu bihaa min sultaan; inyyattabi'oona illaz zanna wa maa tahwal anfusu wa laqad jaaa'ahum mir Rabbihimul hudaaAm lil insaani maa taman naaFalillaahil aakhiratu wal oolaaWa kam mim malakin fissamaawaati laa tughnee shafaa'atuhum shai'an illaa mim ba'di anyyaazanal laahu limany yashaaa'u wa yardaainnal lazeena laa yu'minoona bil aakhirati la yusammoonal malaaa'ikata tasmiyatal unsaaWa maa lahum bihee min 'ilmin iny yattabi'oona illaz zanna wa innaz zanna laa yughnee minal haqqi shai'aaFa a'rid 'am man tawallaa 'an zikrinaa wa lam yurid illal hayaatad dunyaaZalika mablaghuhum minal 'ilm; inna rabbaka huwa a'lamu biman dalla 'an sabee lihee wa huwa a'lamu bimanih tadaaWa lillaahi maa fis samaawaati wa maa fil ardi liyajziyal lazeena asaaa'oo bimaa 'amiloo wa yajziyal lazeena ahsanoo bilhusnaaAllazeena yajtaniboona kabaaa'iral ismi walfawaa hisha illal lamam; inna rabbaka waasi'ul maghfirah; huwa a'lamu bikum iz ansha akum minal ardi wa iz antum ajinnatun fee butooni umma haatikum falaa tuzakkooo anfusakum huwa a'lamu bimanit taqaaAfara'ayatal lazee tawallaaWa a'taa qaleelanw wa akdaaA'indahoo 'ilmul ghaibi fahuwa yaraaAm lam yunabbaa bimaa fee suhuhfi MoosaWa Ibraaheemal lazee waffaaaAllaa taziru waaziratunw wizra ukhraaWa al laisa lil insaani illaa maa sa'aaWa anna sa'yahoo sawfa yuraaSumma yujzaahul jazaaa 'al awfaaWa anna ilaa rabbikal muntahaaWa annahoo huwa adhaka wa abkaaWa annahoo huwa amaata wa ahyaaWa annahoo khalaqaz zawjainiz zakara wal unsaaMin nutfatin izaa tumnaaWa anna 'alaihin nash atal ukhraaWa annahoo huwa aghnaa wa aqnaaWa annahoo huwa rabbush shi'raaWa annahooo ahlak a 'Aadanil oolaaWa samooda famaaa abqaaWa qawma Noohim min qablu innahum kaanoo hum azlama wa atghaaWal mu'tafikata ahwaaFaghashshaahaa maa ghashshaaFabi ayyi aalaaa'i Rabbika tatamaaraaHaazaa nazeerum minan nuzuril oolaaAzifatil laazifahLaisa lahaa min doonil laahi kaashifahAfamin hazal hadeesi ta'jaboonWa tadhakoona wa laa tabkoonWa antum saamidoonFasjudoo lillaahi wa'budoo

Translation Follows:

By the Star when it goes down,
2. Your Companion is neither astray nor being misled.
3. Nor does he say (aught) of (his own) Desire.
4. It is no less than inspiration sent down to him:
5. He was taught by one Mighty in Power,
6. Endued with Wisdom: for he appeared (in stately form);
7. While he was in the highest part of the horizon:
8. Then he approached and came closer,
9. And was at a distance of but two bow-lengths or (even) nearer;
10. So did (Allah) convey the inspiration to His Servant- (conveyed) what He (meant) to convey.
11. The (Prophet's) (mind and) heart in no way falsified that which he saw.
12. Will ye then dispute with him concerning what he saw?
13. For indeed he saw him at a second descent,
14. Near the Lote-tree beyond which none may pass:
15. Near it is the Garden of Abode.
16. Behold, the Lote-tree was shrouded (in mystery unspeakable!)
17. (His) sight never swerved, nor did it go wrong!
18. For truly did he see, of the Signs of his Lord, the Greatest!
19. Have ye seen Lat. and 'Uzza,
20. And another, the third (goddess), Manat?
21. What! for you the male sex, and for Him, the female?
22. Behold, such would be indeed a division most unfair!
23. These are nothing but names which ye have devised,- ye and your fathers,- for which Allah has sent down no authority (whatever). They follow nothing but conjecture and what their own souls desire!- Even though there has already come to them Guidance from their Lord!
24. Nay, shall man have (just) anything he hankers after?
25. But it is to Allah that the End and the Beginning (of all things) belong.
26. How many-so-ever be the angels in the heavens, their intercession will avail nothing except after Allah has given leave for whom He pleases and that he is acceptable to Him.
27. Those who believe not in the Hereafter, name the angels with female names.
28. But they have no knowledge therein. They follow nothing but conjecture; and conjecture avails nothing against Truth.
29. Therefore shun those who turn away from Our Message and desire nothing but the life of this world.
30. That is as far as knowledge will reach them. Verily thy Lord knoweth best those who stray from His Path, and He knoweth best those who receive guidance.
31. Yea, to Allah belongs all that is in the heavens and on earth: so that He rewards those who do evil, according to their deeds, and He rewards those who do good, with what is best.
32. Those who avoid great sins and shameful deeds, only (falling into) small faults,- verily thy Lord is ample in forgiveness. He knows you well when He brings you out of the earth, And when ye are hidden in your mothers' wombs. Therefore justify not yourselves: He knows best who it is that guards against evil.
33. Seest thou one who turns back,
34. Gives a little, then hardens (his heart)?
35. What! Has he knowledge of the Unseen so that he can see?
36. Nay, is he not acquainted with what is in the Books of Moses-
37. And of Abraham who fulfilled his engagements?-
38. Namely, that no bearer of burdens can bear the burden of another;
39. That man can have nothing but what he strives for;
40. That (the fruit of) his striving will soon come in sight:
41. Then will he be rewarded with a reward complete;
42. That to thy Lord is the final Goal;
43. That it is He Who granteth Laughter and Tears;
44. That it is He Who granteth Death and Life;
45. That He did create in pairs,- male and female,
46. From a seed when lodged (in its place);
47. That He hath promised a Second Creation (Raising of the dead);
48. That it is He Who giveth wealth and satisfaction;
49. That He is the Lord of Sirius (the Mighty Star);
50. And that it is He Who destroyed the (powerful) ancient 'Ad (people),
51. And the Thamud nor gave them a lease of perpetual life.
52. And before them, the people of Noah, for that they were (all) most unjust and most insolent transgressors,
53. And He destroyed the Overthrown Cities (of Sodom and Gomorrah).
54. So that (ruins unknown) have covered them up.
55. Then which of the gifts of thy Lord, (O man,) wilt thou dispute about?
56. This is a Warner, of the (series of) Warners of old!
57. The (Judgment) ever approaching draws nigh:
58. No (soul) but Allah can lay it bare.
59. Do ye then wonder at this recital?
60. And will ye laugh and not weep,-
61. Wasting your time in vanities?
62. But fall ye down in prostration to Allah, and adore (Him)!
Health / Top 10 Cockroach Facts by EloquentMedia: 11:36pm On Nov 19
Anyone who has ever encountered cockroach infestation faced the same problem. At first you win the fight and exterminate the insects completely, but after a while, their smug snouts reappear in the same spots as before. Such comebacks occur with varying frequency: the infestation may relapse monthly, every six months or annually.

Why does this happen?
Our apprehension is caused by the lack of knowledge about cockroaches and their behavior. Here are some facts which will arm you with valuable knowledge against these whiskered pests.

1. Cockroaches love wet and damp places. They are especially active in the summer in humid regions. Nevertheless, they can also feel quite well in temperate climate as well given that they have access to moisture and food which are usually both available in any household.

2. The insects’ habitat is usually defined by their preferences. Most often you’ll come across them near sewage and behind the sink, near stoves and any heating systems, as well as in the kitchen or bathroom. They also inhabit darker secluded spots such as floor gaps, closed vegetable boxes, loose floorboards, wall holes, niches for the furniture, loose wallpaper, etc.

3. Cockroaches love darkness and shade. Their activity peaks when humans are asleep. Come to the kitchen at night, turn the lights on and you’ll see dozens of these pests.

4. They are disgusting. Unlike many other insects, they actually defecate, leave debris of their food, saliva and skin in the least accessible spots. These debris can cause allergies and other uncomfortable diseases.

5. As much as cockroaches love heat, they hate cold. When the temperature falls below -8 °C, they begin to die. A day of intense ventilation in winter can actually help combat these pests. At the same time, they can easily survive mild winter in a warm place.

6. Cockroaches feed irregularly. Female roaches can survive up to 45 days without food while males need food a bit more often. Sometimes this reduces the effect of poisoning by ingestion and gels and doesn’t entail immediate results.

7. Cockroaches live in large colonies and rarely leave them for food. They neither have strict hierarchy like ants nor do socialize like bees. As a rule, some two or three clusters of cockroaches inhabit an apartment. If you destroy them, there would be far fewer insects in the house. They “communicate” by exuding pheromones, group together along these “fragrant paths” and pave the rim

8. Cockroaches are omnivorous but they still have certain preferences. They avoid products containing fat, spoilt food, and mold. They love everything sweet and smelly, rich in carbohydrates. They also feed on carrion and feces, according to the Woking Environment Service. By the way, they can also consume their own dead. The manufacturers of poisonous gels use this peculiarity to provoke chain reaction when exterminating these insects.

9. Cockroaches can’t smell. They can only identify food and attractant a few centimeters away. That’s why they have to constantly move around and hope to accidentally bump into some food. However, if their nest is located near trash or kitchen table, the issue is resolved, and they may not leave it at all in case there is sufficient supply of food.

10. They breed fast and live long. During its lifespan of 170-180 days, a female roach can lay 30-40 eggs each 2-3 weeks. In this way, the cockroach population can increase by 27 times in a year!

Source: http://fumigatelagos.blogspot.com.ng/2017/11/top-10-cockroach-facts.html

Travel / Re: General U.s.a (student) Visa Enquiries-part 12 by femi312: 11:33pm On Nov 19
Respect All,
Please I want to apply for a PhD in one of the iv league schools in Yankee,
I will spend about 40k for application and 100k for GRE.
I'm a med doc,the acceptance rate is 14percent yearly,
Please should I apply for this programme??
Kindly advice me please.
The question is why shouldn't you? A man that has no dream is a dead man, in life nothing is certain. All you can do is always do your part and hope for the best. However applying to one school is not advisable even if the acceptance rate is 80%. Just like T wood said, look for other good schools to apply to and see this as an investment that you will reap one day. All the best.
Computers / Re: Inverter Users : Lets Have Your Experience by kiekie1(m): 11:21pm On Nov 19

An original deep cycle battery will not just die when discharged to 100%;
rather it will shorten the lifespan by more than half if you do this continuously. If the battery was to last 1 yr before;
it will only last 3-5 months.
A car battery that is deep discharged more than 10 times, is already dead and cannot come back to life.
You might not notice when its powering small loads; but put in a car and try to start it; or connect a larger load;
I'd bet the voltage drops off a cliff.

I wonder why he didn't get my vivid & lucid analogy .. Further research via YouTube videos or documentary states this as an old stale question which has been grossly tackled in the past for those who do indepth analysis and want good return for their money wink ..when you inspect a car battery & deep cycle agm battery internal/external chemistry , you notice even as a novice or a layman,that we have thicker cell plates , body case made of non conductive abs plastics,stronger resistance to shock,heat,chemicals & weather. When we call them deep cycle batteries with longer cyclic lifespan , its unlike the least car battery which is sealed but has visible electrolyte liquid which can always dry up and sulphate at any time & also the battery weight of same 200a trailer battery can never equals to deep cycle batteries of above 60-70kg pending on manufacturer or its application ! You don't use cranking batteries whilst you want to venture into renewable energy !
Celebrities / Re: Juliet Ibrahim And Iceberg Slim's Look To Banky W & Adesua Etomi's Wedding by samsam2019: 11:12pm On Nov 19
I just wish this 2 well. They seem to be very much in love.

I hope they rode each other till the very end.

Love is not dead
Literature / Re: IMPAIRABLE (when Fate Strikes ) by Nicheey(m): 11:03pm On Nov 19
Impairable ,episode 1

It a beautiful morning ,Adam is still on bed ,drooling ,"carck!carck!carck! " the sound kept coming slowly

,Adam change his sleeping position ,seems the sound is penetrating through ,he pulled out his pillow and covered his both ears ,

making his dark face grease ,could you please stop knocking at the window ? He said with a loud sleepy voice ,wake up! Or we'll be late for school a voice said ,

Adam ignored the voice and pull the pillow over his head and added to the one already on his head ,"carck!carck!carck!"

You won't stop ,will u ? Adam said fustrated then gaze at the knocker ,you win ! Adam said then got up from bed ,woo hoo! The voice exclaimed .

Good Morning Mrs barisi elly greeted Adam's mum who is making break fast ,she is a dark slim woman from the northern part of the country ,people say adam took her look ,while some said Adam looks more like her than his father

Morning elly Mrs barisi greeted elly who is standing beside her ,she wore a slim jean trouser and white top ,she's pretty like a diamond in the sky ,with a birth mark on her left side of her eyes

Let me guess you've gone to wake your friend already Mrs barisi said ,with a nod and giggles elly answered with hmm hmm ,well that's nice of you ,Mrs barisi said

Hey elly ,come on in ,a voice said from the parlour ,I'll be right back elly said to Mrs barisi as she made her way to the parlour ,hey leton how was your night ? Elly asked immediately she entered the parlour

Was awesome leton said ,elly looked at leton who is still on house dress ,her long hair unmake ,she was still having her pajamas trouser ,aren't you going to school? Elly inquired ,I'm sick leton said ,well that's bad ,elly said feeling leton's neck ,how long has it been ??just this morning leton said

There's the trouble shooter adam said immediately he entered ,why aren't you dressed up?? Elly asked ,chill Lady ,break fast haven't been had ,he said then drop his weight beside his sister leton ,making the couch to make a "puff " sound ,whoa you look horrible he said to leton immediately she sneezed ,I know leton said wiping the saliva with the back if her hand

Hey kids get your asses to the dinner their mother said from the kitchen ,c'mon I'll lead you granny adam said to leton jokingly ,nahh I ain't old leton protested ,I can go on my own ,this ain't a debate kid adam said ,let the poor girl be ,elly said interrupting their argument ,c'mon leton let's go to the dinner ,she said stretching her hand towards leton which she took in handy

Some have food but can't eat ,some can eat but have no food ,we have food and we can eat ,glory be to God Amen ,Amen leton adam and elly chorused immediately the mother finished

Break fast this morning is fried egg tea and bread ,eat slowly elly whisper to adam ,adam stopped suddenly took a gaze at her then said "sorry mum" leton laughs with Adam ,what ever elly said ,and sip her tea,the mother only chuckled

Okay mum I'll be on my way ,adam said to his mum ,can I give you something to give to Anna? Leton asked adam ,nope! He said immediately, gimme I'll give it to her elly said to leton ,"sweet" leton exclaimed

Here ,she handed a book to elly ,thank you ,she said after elly collected it ,you seriously aren't planning to wear that canvas are you ??

Elly asked adam who was already letting the lace of the canvas loose ,what's wrong with it ? Adam asked with a keen look in his face, have you gotten amnesia ??

Today's Monday elly said gesturing with her Hands ,so ? Adam asked back ,you're leading the opening speech of the incoming principal idiot ,

Oops I forgot ,he shove the canvas aside ,and brought out a black pairs of shoes ,mehn I hate this shoe ,he said under his breathe ,get used to it leton said to him and drop her weight on the couch beside him

We'll be late for school ,elly remained adam ,mehn ,how do I look he said looking at elly ,you look miserable leton said ,wasn't talking to you she said without looking at her ,elly looked at ADM ,adam had pairs of slim black jeans with a Nigerian shyder pairs of shoes ,with his trunk fit jacket ,well?? Adam's voice remained elly

Leton was right ,you look miserable, elly said to adam with a dead tone ,leton giggled ,oh shut up! Let's get going already adam said to elly

They both made their way out of the house ,leton stare at them from the house's window ,they were playing as the walked ,they look happy don't he ? Her mother asked,yes mum elly said with a nod

Watch out for episode 2,mean while visit www.cooldolly.blogspot.com
Religion / Re: HELP; I Can't Pray Any More. by ENDTIMEgist(m): 10:59pm On Nov 19

*John Lennon (Singer):*

Some years ago, during his interview with an American Magazine, he said:
'Christianity will end, it will disappear.
I do not have to argue about that.. I am certain.
Jesus was ok, but his subjects were too simple, today we are more famous than Him' (1966).

Lennon, after saying that the Beatles were more famous than Jesus Christ, was shot six times.

*Tancredo Neves (President of Brazil ):*

During the Presidential campaign, he said if he got 500,000 votes from his party, not even God would remove him from Presidency.

Sure he got the votes, but he got sick a day before his inauguration as President and he died.

*Cazuza (Bi-sexual Brazilian composer, singer and poet):**

During A show in Canecio ( Rio de Janeiro ),
while smoking his cigarette, he puffed out some smoke into the air and said:
'God, that's for you.'

He died at the age of 32 of LUNG CANCER in a horrible manner.

*The man who built the Titanic:*

After the construction of the Cruise Ship, Titanic, a reporter asked him how safe the Titanic would be.

With an ironic tone he said:
'Not even God can sink it'

The result: I think you all know what happened to the Titanic

*Marilyn Monroe (Actress):*

She was visited by Billy Graham during a presentation of a show.

He said the Spirit of God had sent him to preach to her.
After hearing what the Preacher had to say, she said: 'I don't need your Jesus'.
A week later, she was found dead in her apartment

*Bon Scott (Singer):*

The ex-vocalist of the AC/DC. On one of his 1979 songs he sang:
'Don't stop me; I'm going down all the way, down the highway to hell'.

On the 19th of February 1980, Bon Scott was found dead, he had been choked by his own vomit.

*Campinas (IN 2005):*

In Campinas , Brazil, a group of friends, drunk, went to pick up a friend.....

The mother accompanied her to the car and was so worried about the drunkenness of her friends and she said to the daughter holding her hand, who was already seated in the car:
'My Daughter, Go With God And May He Protect You.'
She responded: 'Only If He (God) Travels In The Trunk, 'Cause Inside Here.....It's Already Full '

Hours later, news came that they had been involved in a fatal accident, everyone had died.
The car could not be recognized what type of car it had been, but surprisingly, the trunk was intact.
The police said there was no way the trunk could have remained intact.
To their surprise, inside the trunk was a crate of eggs, none was broken

*Christine Hewitt (Jamaican Journalist and entertainer):*
She said the Bible (Word of God) was the worst Book ever written.
In June 2006 she was found burnt beyond recognition in her motor vehicle.

*Many more important people have forgotten that there is no other Name that was given so much authority as the Name of Jesus Christ.*

Many have died, but only Jesus Christ died and rose again, and He is still alive....

Sports / Re: "The Super Eagles Thread: Russia 2018, 2019 AFCON and The Dawn of a New Era" by Humility017(m): 10:52pm On Nov 19

Someone said they are dead wood.

Not me.

Are the current new pretenders better than them. Imagine you put Obagoal in Leicester I wonder if they will not rate him higher than Defoe his senior brother.

please no need imagine obagoal im Leicester...just take him there...

good you have network of connections in England...you can auction him there...

same Chinese league odion have scored over 15 goals and here one tired leg...scored just a goal and you and forgiveness wont let someone rest...and even call nacho,odion,iwobi and co pretenders......
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: Please, Read Below A Recent Application Letter From An Applicant by maxwell767(m): 10:51pm On Nov 19
No.3 ekpetu
P. O. Box 172,
Ijora, Lagos,
9th May, 2017.
Dear Sir,

I refer to the recent death of the Accountant at your office and hereby apply for the job as a replacement of the dead Accountant.

Each time I apply for employment, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case, I have caught you red handed and you have no excuse because while I was in my hometown for holidays I heard the good news about his death so I quickly rushed back to attend the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead before applying.

Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his obituary photograph as proof of vacancy.

You can't lie to me this time. GIVE ME THE JOB!

Thank you.
Yours faithfully,
Owoeye Micheal Ojo

cc:davide470&lalasticlala grin

undecided stale
Jobs/Vacancies / Please, Read Below A Recent Application Letter From An Applicant by SleekyP(m): 10:47pm On Nov 19
No.3 ekpetu
P. O. Box 172,
Ijora, Lagos,
9th May, 2017.
Dear Sir,

I refer to the recent death of the Accountant at your office and hereby apply for the job as a replacement of the dead Accountant.

Each time I apply for employment, I get a reply that there is no vacancy but in this case, I have caught you red handed and you have no excuse because while I was in my hometown for holidays I heard the good news about his death so I quickly rushed back to attend the funeral to be sure that he was truly dead before applying.

Attached to my letter is a copy of my CV and his obituary photograph as proof of vacancy.

You can't lie to me this time. GIVE ME THE JOB!

Thank you.
Yours faithfully,
Owoeye Micheal Ojo

cc:davide470&lalasticlala grin
Religion / Re: 72 Christians Embraced To Islam In Modakeke (video) by alBHAGDADI: 10:43pm On Nov 19
you would say this when you realized you ran out of idea. Your christian faith i dead my friend. Stop being hardhead and embrace islam.
Are you the terrorist that killed Christianity?
.Even Mohammad couldn't.
Crime / Re: Fraudsters Sell Lagos Lagoon For N787 Million by drealcivilceno(m): 10:42pm On Nov 19
the score is rising and with about 20youths confirmed dead with a mother also confirmed dead too after news reached her that her son have been killed!Eiye,jewries,aye and malphite have turned edostate to a cementry with the governor folding his hand!!We can't allow this to continue,PROTEST NOW AND SAVE LIVES!!

Where in Edo state?
Religion / Re: HELP; I Can't Pray Any More. by makky555(f): 10:29pm On Nov 19


Hey I'm not dead cry
Romance / Re: Painful Existence by MissWrite(f): 10:29pm On Nov 19

She is a Nairalander and she is right here on NL. I am almost certain she is even viewing the thread in guest mode as we speak. She just doesn't want to be noticed. But I had to reach out to her, because when she left me, she took a vital part of me with her. And I am dead without it.

Will I love again? Well, that remains to be seen. smiley

Sorry about that. May God grant you the fortitude to bear this loss. You're gonna have to pick yourself up and deal.
Autos / Re: Range Rover Sport 2007 Model Selling As Scrap by Lexusgs430: 10:08pm On Nov 19

Does it start though?

If it starts, it might be a little consolation........ Imagine the abuse from lack of scheduled maintenance ....... Air suspension possible dead etc etc etc
Culture / Re: Most Nigerians are Being Buried Like Dog -Aroms Aigbehi by jesse8048(m): 10:06pm On Nov 19
Nigeria is a cursed nation. We don't value the living talk more of the dead....
Culture / Most Nigerians are Being Buried Like Dog -Aroms Aigbehi by Adieza(m): 10:03pm On Nov 19
Before black Africans can be accepted as equal in the world as fellow homosapiens we must realise there is certain standard of behavior that will demand others to show respect to us.

When Ukraine rebels shot down a Dutch flight in Ukraine few years ago the Dutch government demanded to send their soldiers to Ukraine to collect the dead bodies back for proper burial. Every citizen, government officials and religious leaders all join in the national mourning.

The Dutch army went there with guns fully loaded to retrieve the dead. Most of the people were not recognizable. In some cases only body parts were recovered. The government sent the body parts to DNA lab for identification.

They were given state burial and the national flag was flown at half mast. They were ordinary people brought back home as heroes.

Now compare that to Nigeria and other African countries.

The citizens will be sold for $400 - No Reaction.
The citizens will be raped - No Reaction.
The citizens will be buried in mass grave - No Reaction.
The citizens will be slaughtered - No Reaction.
Only black African people treat their people like dogs and it has to STOP.

What saddened me the most is most Nigerians are OK with this and they will defend the culprit with their last blood. They don't care and yet they blame the government as if people in the government are aliens from mars. They are also citizens from the country.

As they say in America. What goes around, comes around. If you are insensitive today to what happened to others, like the 26 Nigerian girls then know that worse can and will happen to you. At least they got a decent burial. Most Nigerians get buried like dogs.

Part of being a Homosapience is the ability to show empathy and compassion. The entire world is watching us.


Romance / Re: How I Almost Lost My Life To Weed by MENTE(m): 10:01pm On Nov 19
DAMOLA: why you wan know. Shebi you talk say I don cast, anyways na EKAETTE call me, she said she will be here before 11am.

ME: Baba oooo, King of women.

(present day). TUNDE interrupts the story…who be EKAETTE sef??

TAJU: EKAETTE na that babe wey dey sell provisions for that supermarket wey they entrance of our street.wey get big yarnsh .

TUNDE: okkkk, I don sabi her, wey her yarnsh big like water melon.

TAJU: na she but he big pass water melon.

TUNDE: ok we don hear baba, MENTE continue your story I dey enjoy am.

ME: ok na, EKAETTE sha enter , we don excuse them go room as usual na. after few minutes DAMOLA enter say the babe don corperate say she go f.uck O.B.O(YINKA).

TAJU: guy you be bad guy oooo , how you dey do am , you be bad guy ooo.

DAMOLA: no worry if you wan learn I fit lecture you, hin no go cost much, just pay 50k.

TAJU: comot for here joor.

DAMOLA: PANYA please I need a favour, help me roll three joint I wan give EKAETTE.

PANYA: ok na, wey your money??

DAMOLA: You don come oo, you no dey know your people ni.

PANYA: naso una dey talk, if I calculate the amount of weed I’ve given you guys for free, I’m suppose to have my own car, house even sef, I suppose don get private jet.

TAJU: bobo give am na.

PANYA: I don hear.

(PANYA brought out his bag of weed, opened his cupboard for his rizla, sprinkled some weed inside the rizla, rolled with both hands , sealed it , compressed the tip gentle ontop of the cupboard, twisted the top, it was shaped like a cone, he did it on and on for the rest).

PANYA: take go give her.

DAMOLA: thanks man. So guys, I dey go next compound, I will be back very soon, abeg make una try prepare something.

PANYA: u dey craze, fish brain full your head, you no fit tell your wife make she cook ni, wetin you wan go do for next compound??

DAMOLA: I no get your time MENTE and TAJU you grab na.

ME & TAJU: yea yea, bye bye…

ME: PANYA roll joint make we dey chill dey go na.

PANYA: your head dey there, na only you dey still ginger for the house, the rest na chicken dem be.

TAJU: Ode boy.

About 1hr 30mins later DAMOLA ran in panicking…..we were all shouting bobo chill, relax wetin happen??

DAMOLA: yeeee I don kill rich man pikin ooooo, I’m dead guys , what am I gonna do.

TAJU: guy calm down, what happen??

DAMOLA: Ok, I got to YINKA’S house, stage don set, I introduced EKAETTE to him, he was very excited, he asked if she understands, I said yes, he asked if he should offer us anything. I told him we were ok, he promised he was gonna settle me well, I said no problem, next thing he said we should talk privately.

YINKA: Guy I like that babe, she make sense can't wait to taste her coochie.

DAMOLA: Ya bro I know what you like.

YINKA: Guy please I would love for you to seat and watch while I f.uck her.

DAMOLA: Are you for real??

YINKA: Ya bro, don't worry I will settle you well.

DAMOLA: ok na no problem…( I was saying it my mind that this guy is weird).

ME: Infact the guy is sick.

TAJU: bobo continue, wetin kan happen.

DAMOLA: I agreed . I went to explain things to EKAETTE, and she said no problem. YINKA led us to his room, I sat on a chair beside his big bed, EKAETTE didn’t waste time, she went na.ked. he carried her like a possessed being to the bed and they landed like a sack of potatoes, they were grinning like idiots, the next thing, YINKA started banging her , dude penetrated all her hole, both ana.l and coochie, it felt really intense but EKAETE was enjoying it, I couldn’t even see who was f.ucking who, it was wild af, next thing EKAETE hopped on YINKA and she was pouncing on his d.ick with full force, YINKA just laid like a d.ick who has finished work, I shouted… EKAETTE, EKAETTE, EKAETTE……

EKAETTE: What happen naa??

DAMOLA: stop, the guy no dey respond again na,

1 Like

Literature / Re: The Killer's Guild(Sin City) by Lesky3(m): 10:00pm On Nov 19
       ‎It was a sunny afternoon at Evergreen city, Tony was very anxious as he drove on the busy road. He parked his car and placed a call to Zach.
"Tell me dude, are you my best friend or not?" Tony says just as the call was answered.
"Of course, I am."  Zach says.
"Then start acting like one. You promised to accompany me to meet Bella's parents today. But then you left me alone to dry, I'm dying with anxiety here. Where the hell are you?" Tony asks.
"Sorry dude, I didn't mean to ditch you, Jennifer is out of town ok? And I have to pick Johnny up from school and drop him home, I promise you that after doing this, I'll join you there. So just text me the address."
"Alright, I'll text it to you. But please don't be late." Tony said.
"I won't, Don't be too anxious buddy, you've got this soldier." Zach says.
"Good bye." Tony says breaking the call.
He sends the address to Zach and drove off.
       A lot of thoughts were going through Tony's mind as he drove. 'What if her family doesn't accept me?', 'what if I mess things up.' He thought.
       He decided to take his mind off those thoughts by admiring the beauty of the city around him. Evergreen city is a city that lives up to its name, the city was ever green due to so many beautiful plants that were planted all over the city. This plants seems to light up everyone's mood and feelings, that alone might be the only reason why crime rates in the city are at a minimal.
       Purse snatching, pick pocketing, sexual assaults and many more are cases that you will rarely see in the city, not to talk of a bank robbery. Tony couldn't recall the last time a bank robbery had occurred in the city in which he was born. The city is so peaceful, no wonder so many companies are being built in the city, various industries are eager to own a branch in the peaceful city occupied by millions from around the world.
        But Tony feared the city might not be as peaceful as it is, in a couple of months. Ever since the new mayor was elected things have been changing. Crime rate seems to be rising every day and nothing is being done about it.Hoodlums are growing bolder each day. Let's not forget that a notorious drug kingpin now resides in the city. Tony heart bleeds to see his home town in this state, he wished there was anything he could do to help. But, what can an high school teacher do to save a city. He thought.
       Tony finally arrived at the apartment which The Willis had rented, during there stay in the city.
       He walks up to the door and ringed the doorbell, the door soon came open. Isabella was standing behind the door, she wore a pink top and a black skirt.
"Come on in." She ‎says with a smile.
       Tony summoned up courage and steps inside. But then he thought where the hell is Zach.
       Zach hurriedly drove to pick Johnny from school. He had to hurry if he was going to make it in time to meet up with Tony.
      He arrived at the school gate, where he had expected to find Johnny but he was nowhere around. 'Where could he be? I'm in a hurry.' He thought. He decided to search for him in the school premises as he walks towards the gate.
      Johnny was holding an ice cream which he had just bought. He had been waiting at the gate when he saw an Ice cream truck, he had crossed the road to buy the Ice cream, now he was returning to the gate when he saw his dad walking towards the school gate.
      Johnny looked towards his left to see if any vehicle was coming, then he looked right, and then left again before deciding to cross the road, seeing that the coast was clear. But just as he reaches the middle of the road, a black car came zooming in out of nowhere, the car headed straight for Johnny who dropped his Ice cream in shock. "Dad!" Johnny managed to scream just before the car ran him off the road.

       Zach was just about to open the school gate when he heard his son's voice. He turned around just in time to see a car colliding with his son, the driver didn't stop nor slowed down as the car zoomed off.
       Zach ran as fast as his legs could to his son who was now lying down on the road, blood was gushing out from his head.
"Johnny, Johnny, Johnny!" Zach said as he raised Johnny's head from the ground. The boy seemed to be staring at him but why was he not responding.
       Then Zach realised that, Johnny wasn't staring at him, in fact he wasn't staring at anything because he was dead.
"No!!!" Zach cried out.
Literature / Impairiable (when Fate Strikes) by Nicheey(m): 9:52pm On Nov 19
Disclaimer ,all character in this story are neither dead or alive ,this is as a result of the writer's imagination .

Warning ,non of this work should be copied without the writer's permission (Nicheey1@gmail.com,+2348082726296)

Finally I owe no body anything ,whether I update or not e be no body business .

(Strictly English with mixture of hardcore Nigerian pidgin and slangs ,foreigners are advice to get the Nigerian pidgin translator if there's any ,cause they'll need it )


Impairable is a fictional story consisting of vampires and werewolves ,when fate strikes .

Adam who has been friends with elly for a really long time left her for a new werewolf girl he meet ,though elly love him but kept it to her self

Elly tried telling him several but in different ways ,elly is who is in her early 16 is a witch of the strongest coven in ogoni (don't judge me ogoni people ,I'm ogoni too)

The new girl on the other hand name is Emily ,she's from a family of were wolf ,she was born in the half moon of Surat ,northern part of the country ,though she spent most of her transition in the southern belt .

Adam was Elly's best friend who felt nothing but plutonic love for her,adam was 17 same class with elly ,they've been best friends since they were 5 .


Adam had to chose where he stands,the witches Who he grew up with or the werewolves he just met .

The war started when elly emotionally cast a spell on one of the Emily's family who didn't take time to retaliate by haunting them as prey ,though Elly's spell was for Emily unfortunately something went wrong along the line and it went to the wrong person (Emily's kidsis)

The vampires were caught in the cross fire ,the vampires and witches never agrees ,fighting a long war which the witches believed the war was fought since from their 5th generation ,the war was about a territory ,though the witches successful made the vampires stayed in a particular territory (they Dont associate ) .

The war against the werewolves weaken the witches who were outnumbered ,then the vampires revolt ,at first haunting the witches before they had some treaty to end hostilities ,like the saying goes ,a friend enemy is my enemy ,the werewolves launched at the vampires in full force ,this made things in the town of tai to cease ,as schools were closed for the unknown ,humans dying everyday .

Vampires retaliated in a more brutal way ,haunting the werewolves ,the werewoves was being lead by Emily ,the witches by elly ,and the vampires by Areah .

The werewolves came crawling to the witches for help ,will the witches accept or decline ??

It's left for u to find out .
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: My Boss Might Kill Me by joliyp(f): 9:50pm On Nov 19
if you were gladly doing these illegal act in the past, why suddenly grow a conscience?! well, you can always QUIT YOUR JOB or remain part of this illegal enterprise/activity... then you can blame the devil when you rightfully end up in jail (or dead).
I don't know if there is going back for me
Jobs/Vacancies / Re: My Boss Might Kill Me by MrBrownJay1(m): 9:44pm On Nov 19
if you were gladly doing these illegal act in the past, why suddenly grow a conscience?! well, you can always QUIT YOUR JOB or remain part of this illegal enterprise/activity... then you can blame the devil when you rightfully end up in jail (or dead).

1 Like

Politics / Re: A Breath Of Fresh Air: Politicians And Dry Mouth by badbreath(f): 9:26pm On Nov 19
Good day fellas, trust you all had great weekend?

Have been receiving calls on how to know if one have a bad breath or not. Because of this, will like to post this here tonight.

Bad breath is something we're probably all a little paranoid about. It's dead embarrassing and we all know we probably won't necessarily be aware of it ourselves, and our friends are likely to be too kind to mention it. So we find ourselves breathing into our cupped hands and having a sniff to check.

How will I know if I have it?

Unfortunately the breathing-into-your-hand technique may not work awfully well as we get used to our own odours so can't really smell them. Like the way that people with pets aren't aware their house reeks of cat or dog. Or the way you can't smell your own perfume on yourself. So you may have to rely on other people telling you. You could ask a close friend or family member if they have noticed anything. Or ask your dentist when you have your regular check-up. Your doctor would have a sniff for you if asked about it.

To take care of this bad breath issue, kindly make use o the contact above.............................
Not Satisfied? Click Here To Try Google Search!

(0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (of 20 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (0) (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2017 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 403
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.