$tunna:


Actually the story is from a year or so ago, we have since gone our separate ways...

Oh Well, You are not God but only God knows the best
Hope you find happiness

$tunna:


Any man who had been loved knows women try to make ur life easy if they love you or like you...but I could not get over the fact that the lady said know to practically everything and anything I asked for - small as well as big and I'm not used to that at all...
If a woman her age and education with a job came to see me here because I lost a loved one, they will bring a sympathy card for me and would be very offended if I try to pay for their taxi to go back home never mind if I offer her cash on top of that...she would think I was weak and want to buy her love...
So, I'm not sure why a Naija girl of her age and education expected cash from me...I find it baffling! She knew I am not broke since she saw me got a taxi to take both of us to church on Saturday, have the taxi driver sleep inside his taxi and wait some hours for us and we were told I owned the taxi 10.000naira at the end of the afternoon and gave him the cash without questions...

So what was the issue?! I'm sure some people here are saying to themselves, oh gosh, this man does not understand Naija girls at all...so maybe this is normal! I'm not used to it so it makes me worry a lot...

Wow, lol

Stingy American Mugu

I think you were actually a bit stingy to her.
If nothing else, you should have paid for her transport fare to and fro cos she took the pains and risk to come and see you.

Unlike western women who will feel very offended if you offered to pay for their visitation, most Nigerian women have been taught to believe that it's the responsibility of their chikers and bfs to foot their bills.

It's only in Nigeria that a gf will ask her bf to give her money so she could bake a surprise birthday cake for his birthday. It doesn't even matter if she's earning higher than you.

Well, good a thing you noticed all these before marriage. However, I thot you were just as selfish, untrustworthy, uncompromising and stubborn as she was.

You've had bad experience with home based imported wives just as she has had bad experience with abroad based guys.
Why disregard her concerns over yours?

I totally support her just as I respect your choice on how you want your marriage to go.

The only unacceptable thing about the girl was that she was too money conscious that she forgot that she was visiting a guy who just lost his mother.
That should have be the red flag for you.

Don't expect most of the home based to have a different attitude. No. Matter of fact, I was once in your condition but I've come to realize you can't eat your cake and have it.

Marry a western girl and deal with the disadvantages or marry a home based and face the consequences squarely!

GoodFaith:
Oh Well, You are not God but only God knows the best
Hope you find happiness

We have gone our separate ways...and your response to that is that I am not God!?? Where did i being God come in here?? I'm begining to believer that something is mentally wrong with some people here!! Lolzz

GoodFaith r u one ot those silly Nigerians who voted for your president Jonathan because his name is Goodluck and that will bring Naija luck!??

Wow!

Nuzo':


Stingy American Mugu

I think you were actually a bit stingy to her.
If nothing else, you should have paid for her transport fare to and fro cos she took the pains and risk to come and see you.

Unlike western women who will feel very offended if you offered to pay for their visitation, most Nigerian women have been taught to believe that it's the responsibility of their chikers and bfs to foot their bills.

It's only in Nigeria that a gf will ask her bf to give her money so she could bake a surprise birthday cake for his birthday. It doesn't even matter if she's earning higher than you.

Well, good a thing you noticed all these before marriage. However, I thot you were just as selfish, untrustworthy, uncompromising and stubborn as she was.

You've had bad experience with home based imported wives just as she has had bad experience with abroad based guys.
Why disregard her concerns over yours?

I totally support her just as I respect your choice on how you want your marriage to go.

The only unacceptable thing about the girl was that she was too money conscious that she forgot that she was visiting a guy who just lost his mother.
That should have be the red flag for you.

Don't expect most of the home based to have a different attitude. No. Matter of fact, I was once in your condition but I've come to realize you can't eat your cake and have it.

Marry a western girl and deal with the disadvantages or marry a home based and face the consequences squarely!

Not quite sure where to start with a response to your post except you are talking from the standpoint of someone who thinks that they have true love and life figured out and one day, love may deal you a blow and will make you a little more humble than you currently sound!

SELFISH, UNTRUSTWORTHY, UNCOMPROMISING AND STUBBORN!?? (All of this to a girl who was according to you) TOO MONEY CONSCIOUS THAT SHE FORGOT THAT SHE WAS VISITING A GUY WHO JUST LOST HIS MOTHER
This in your opinion should have been the reg flag for me!?

And in your world of wisdom, all the 3 observations are simultaneously true...and then you preach about not eating one's cake and having it...

So, let me get this straight, that I'm stingy because I only payed for her transportation back home and did not give her the cash with which she originally transported herself to my house, and this is not because she asked for it and I refused but I should have done so out of the kindness of my heart due to the fact that she risked her life to come and see me and by which you mean since...'m worthless and can not be loved, I should financially have compensated everyone who came to see me for the one month I was in Naija ie, the hundreds and hundreds of people who came by to say hello and attended the burial...feed them, transport them to and from the burial and to from their various destination and so on

And this, according to you is because this is the way it should be and it's the right thing to do as it's Nigerians and they play by different rules!!!

Well, if only you know how close I came to doing exactly as you said I should have done...I really did - not only for this girl but everyone else!
I almost had to - with the exception of a few cases - was responsible for everything, and everyone! There is no room here to list what that translated into for hundreds of family and friends and I didn't feel too bad about it all until those names you just called me and I wished my mom who I went to bury could read this your opinion of me...as you clearly think I'm the bad greedy guy here.

I don't recollect this girl bringing out her wallet to spend a cent all weekend but I guess you already know that and you are calling me the names you called me because according to you I should have asked her how much she payed to get to my city and hand it to her and this you wanted me to do in the name of love!!??

This is why I love Nairaland as any unbiased reading of posts here can give one a window into the heart of Nigerians n the Nigerian situation!

I'm glad some Nigerians Here saw it differently than you do and one lady called her a Margaret Thatcher today...
They asked if she knew I came home for a burial and not a vacation? They asked what she was giving me back for her lists of demands!?
Everything you say however help me to understand why some friends, relatives n family numbering hundreds plus a potential gf expected me to be individually, personally and solely responsible for everyone and everything during mom's burial because I came home from America!

Your points are noted and it explains a lot... (A relative, whose transportation from the city to the village and back I payed for as well as that of his sister and everyone else just so they could attend the burial proceeded to say if he had known that I came from America to bury my mom, he would have arranged for kidnappers to kidnap me as he was very upset with me for not renting a Jeep or an SUV for myself to ride to the village and he thought it was a disgrace to the family because I looked rich and should not have driven in a car I rented)

Yup, you read me correctly...and I'm saying all this to let you know that I understand that you called me all those names and no matter how civilized you think you have become, you still are just another Nigerian and my mom used to console me when I asked her the source of the relentless wickedness of some Nigerians by saying my son, take it easy...their hearts are as dark as their skin colour.

I'm gonna take it easy oo

190 will get pregnant for u before she gets green card you can take her to the US

Mondisweets: 190 will get pregnant for u before she gets green card you can take her to the US

Hahahahahaha! Is that dude still here, I ain't see his post in a minute...but then again I'm not here much!

You made me laugh
Umma pass!

My brother shine your face b4 you take the so girl to america ohhh, dont bring her untill you are sure she is pregnant of twin. A word is enough 4 a wise

jesuspikin(jp):
My brother shine your face b4 you take the so girl to america ohhh, dont bring her untill you are sure she is pregnant of twin. A word is enough 4 a wise

Lol. It's okay, it's over between us long time ago...

$tunna:


Lol. It's okay, it's over between us long time ago...

good choice brother

Mr. Stunner... I really don't know why some people chose to attack you even though your story clearly stated her intentions.

I thank God for you that you ended up knowing the truth and gave yourself freedom.

I can give you numerous stories of men who were unfortunate enough to come marry a Nigerian lady and move her to America. Some even ended up being hypertensive due to what these women put them through.

Nigerian girls have really upgraded. Even those of us here who sleep and wake with them still have to minor in psychology to figure them out, let alone you over there.

Just follow your rational mind next time. When things seem abit confusing, imagine what's happening to you is happening to a friend and see what advice you'll give him as a third party.

And please don't let anyone recommend anyone to you for marriage, they can recommend for friendship though.

Stay sharp and safe, God will protect everything you've laboured for and provide a woman to appreciate you for who you are and not what you own.

$tunna:



Not quite sure where to start with a response to your post except you are talking from the standpoint of someone who thinks that they have true love and life figured out and one day, love may deal you a blow and will make you a little more humble than you currently sound!

SELFISH, UNTRUSTWORTHY, UNCOMPROMISING AND STUBBORN!?? (All of this to a girl who was according to you) TOO MONEY CONSCIOUS THAT SHE FORGOT THAT SHE WAS VISITING A GUY WHO JUST LOST HIS MOTHER
This in your opinion should have been the reg flag for me!?

And in your world of wisdom, all the 3 observations are simultaneously true...and then you preach about not eating one's cake and having it...

So, let me get this straight, that I'm stingy because I only payed for her transportation back home and did not give her the cash with which she originally transported herself to my house, and this is not because she asked for it and I refused but I should have done so out of the kindness of my heart due to the fact that she risked her life to come and see me and by which you mean since...'m worthless and can not be loved, I should financially have compensated everyone who came to see me for the one month I was in Naija ie, the hundreds and hundreds of people who came by to say hello and attended the burial...feed them, transport them to and from the burial and to from their various destination and so on

And this, according to you is because this is the way it should be and it's the right thing to do as it's Nigerians and they play by different rules!!!

Well, if only you know how close I came to doing exactly as you said I should have done...I really did - not only for this girl but everyone else!
I almost had to - with the exception of a few cases - was responsible for everything, and everyone! There is no room here to list what that translated into for hundreds of family and friends and I didn't feel too bad about it all until those names you just called me and I wished my mom who I went to bury could read this your opinion of me...as you clearly think I'm the bad greedy guy here.

I don't recollect this girl bringing out her wallet to spend a cent all weekend but I guess you already know that and you are calling me the names you called me because according to you I should have asked her how much she payed to get to my city and hand it to her and this you wanted me to do in the name of love!!??

This is why I love Nairaland as any unbiased reading of posts here can give one a window into the heart of Nigerians n the Nigerian situation!

I'm glad some Nigerians Here saw it differently than you do and one lady called her a Margaret Thatcher today...
They asked if she knew I came home for a burial and not a vacation? They asked what she was giving me back for her lists of demands!?
Everything you say however help me to understand why some friends, relatives n family numbering hundreds plus a potential gf expected me to be individually, personally and solely responsible for everyone and everything during mom's burial because I came home from America!

Your points are noted and it explains a lot... (A relative, whose transportation from the city to the village and back I payed for as well as that of his sister and everyone else just so they could attend the burial proceeded to say if he had known that I came from America to bury my mom, he would have arranged for kidnappers to kidnap me as he was very upset with me for not renting a Jeep or an SUV for myself to ride to the village and he thought it was a disgrace to the family because I looked rich and should not have driven in a car I rented)

Yup, you read me correctly...and I'm saying all this to let you know that I understand that you called me all those names and no matter how civilized you think you have become, you still are just another Nigerian and my mom used to console me when I asked her the source of the relentless wickedness of some Nigerians by saying my son, take it easy...their hearts are as dark as their skin colour.

I'm gonna take it easy oo

You are such a manipulative and wicked being who thinks being an American makes him better than anybody outside America.

See how you twisted my whole post just to make it look as if I didn't as some point in time support your choice. You even had to bring your dear mama into this.

Look bro, my post was in 2 sections of which clearly showed where I faulted you and the lady in question respectively.

The first section was just to let you know how the girl's attitude has become a culture in some Nigerian girls of which I detest cos of my experiences with both side of the divide.

Nobody, not even Dangote pays for everybody who attends any of his occasions in the village....so why would I want or advise you to do such for those who came for your mom's burial?
Didn't you read the part where I faulted the lady for not being sympathetic to your plight even tho you've been boasting of how you paid just 10k for taxi as if she was the one the taxi was conveying?
And yes, I thot you should have paid for her transport fare cos she didn't come to the hotel for your moms burial but to see you and advance your relationship. She's a Nigerian girl for gord's sake....and it isn't my making!

The names I supposedly called you had nothing to do with the girl's visit to your hotel room but about your stance and that of the girl regarding your marriage and time of pregnancy.

I still maintain that I wouldn't allow the girl accept your conditions if she was related to me. We've had so many cases where abroad based guys trick such girls into getting pregnant for them only to abandon the girls and their kids here in Nigeria. Most girls have grown pass the naivity of opening their legs just cos some dude is from America. I guess that was one of the reason for your bitterness that the said girl wasn't rolling on the floor for you as you may have heard.

In the same line, I also called the girl names for the same reasons I did to you. She was also selfish and may have ulterior motive.

You didn't even bother to give me credits where I stated that your position on that marriage plan is your choice and should be respected.

And bro, I don't care what your mom(rip) told you about Nigerians. I honestly do not care. I am me, I don't try to be anybody. And all wrote earlier was from a neutral point of view even tho its clear now that you opened this thread just to get people to support you and condemn the girl....and not really to seek advice.

And NO, my life is far from perfect and I don't have everything figured out. But one thing I know for sure is that I've gone pass this stage of not seeing my own fault while I condemn those who has same fault.

Bro, I meant it when I said you can't eat your cake and have it. I'm in a good position to tell you this cos I've experienced the best and worst of both worlds. You seem to have seen only one side heck why you think I'm your enemy.

Except you are extremely lucky, it's hard for a woman (western or Nigerian) to have all the qualities you as a Nigerian man would want. You only choose the lesser "evil".

All in all, the girl in question never like you.

Good luck!

$tunna:


Any man who had been loved knows women try to make ur life easy if they love you or like you...but I could not get over the fact that the lady said know to practically everything and anything I asked for - small as well as big and I'm not used to that at all...
If a woman her age and education with a job came to see me here because I lost a loved one, they will bring a sympathy card for me and would be very offended if I try to pay for their taxi to go back home never mind if I offer her cash on top of that...she would think I was weak and want to buy her love...
So, I'm not sure why a Naija girl of her age and education expected cash from me...I find it baffling! She knew I am not broke since she saw me got a taxi to take both of us to church on Saturday, have the taxi driver sleep inside his taxi and wait some hours for us and we were told I owned the taxi 10.000naira at the end of the afternoon and gave him the cash without questions...

So what was the issue?! I'm sure some people here are saying to themselves, oh gosh, this man does not understand Naija girls at all...so maybe this is normal! I'm not used to it so it makes me worry a lot...

Wow, lol

Wow, youve been through quite a ride there, a lot has happened & I hope you have learnt a valuable lesson from this. We cant see int peoples hearts so really taking time to get to know them is the next best thing. Anyways dont be in a rush to hook up yet. How are you situated now, single or engaged/married and what became of that girl now? Any gist?

erad: Mr. Stunner... I really don't know why some people chose to attack you even though your story clearly stated her intentions.

I thank God for you that you ended up knowing the truth and gave yourself freedom.

I can give you numerous stories of men who were unfortunate enough to come marry a Nigerian lady and move her to America. Some even ended up being hypertensive due to what these women put them through.

Nigerian girls have really upgraded. Even those of us here who sleep and wake with them still have to minor in psychology to figure them out, let alone you over there.

Just follow your rational mind next time. When things seem abit confusing, imagine what's happening to you is happening to a friend and see what advice you'll give him as a third party.

And please don't let anyone recommend anyone to you for marriage, they can recommend for friendship though.

Stay sharp and safe, God will protect everything you've laboured for and provide a woman to appreciate you for who you are and not what you own.

Thank you for your calming words this morning and may you be blessed always for seeing through it all that I was only just looking to love and be loved!

Nuzo':


You are such a manipulative and wicked being who thinks being an American makes him better than anybody outside America.

See how you twisted my whole post just to make it look as if I didn't as some point in time support your choice. You even had to bring your dear mama into this.

Look bro, my post was in 2 sections of which clearly showed where I faulted you and the lady in question respectively.

The first section was just to let you know how the girl's attitude has become a culture in some Nigerian girls of which I detest cos of my experiences with both side of the divide.

Nobody, not even Dangote pays for everybody who attends any of his occasions in the village....so why would I want or advise you to do such for those who came for your mom's burial?
Didn't you read the part where I faulted the lady for not being sympathetic to your plight even tho you've been boasting of how you paid just 10k for taxi as if she was the one the taxi was conveying?
And yes, I thot you should have paid for her transport fare cos she didn't come to the hotel for your moms burial but to see you and advance your relationship. She's a Nigerian girl for gord's sake....and it isn't my making!

The names I supposedly called you had nothing to do with the girl's visit to your hotel room but about your stance and that of the girl regarding your marriage and time of pregnancy.

I still maintain that I wouldn't allow the girl accept your conditions if she was related to me. We've had so many cases where abroad based guys trick such girls into getting pregnant for them only to abandon the girls and their kids here in Nigeria. Most girls have grown pass the naivity of opening their legs just cos some dude is from America. I guess that was one of the reason for your bitterness that the said girl wasn't rolling on the floor for you as you may have heard.

In the same line, I also called the girl names for the same reasons I did to you. She was also selfish and may have ulterior motive.

You didn't even bother to give me credits where I stated that your position on that marriage plan is your choice and should be respected.

And bro, I don't care what your mom(rip) told you about Nigerians. I honestly do not care. I am me, I don't try to be anybody. And all wrote earlier was from a neutral point of view even tho its clear now that you opened this thread just to get people to support you and condemn the girl....and not really to seek advice.

And NO, my life is far from perfect and I don't have everything figured out. But one thing I know for sure is that I've gone pass this stage of not seeing my own fault while I condemn those who has same fault.

Bro, I meant it when I said you can't eat your cake and have it. I'm in a good position to tell you this cos I've experienced the best and worst of both worlds. You seem to have seen only one side heck why you think I'm your enemy.

Except you are extremely lucky, it's hard for a woman (western or Nigerian) to have all the qualities you as a Nigerian man would want. You only choose the lesser "evil".

All in all, the girl in question never like you.

Good luck!

Awww, nigga is all riled up because I called him on his heavily judgemental bs, eh!

Now I'm manipulative and wicked and these on top of the previous names I've been called!
You have eyes but can not see and can read but learn nothing and you somehow believe in the rightness of how you saw this situation even though you did not participate in it...your version of what happened and who is at fault is the one and only version! Right! Congratulations dude!

You think you are clever but you only sound clever as any advanced individual can see pass your I know it all posing (according to you, you know it all because you have been where I was!?[since no 2 situations r ever the same, then how could ya?] Except that you further state I think I know it all and I'm better than everyone else based solely on the fact that I'm from America!) right.

You are unreal dude!

Did you noticed how you inevitable admitted that I had only asked for advice? I didn't ask you to be a judge, now, did I?
Instead, based on your superiority complex you turned into not only mine but also the girl's judge and jury?!
The relationship had been over now for about a year and I will therefor not engage you further as doing so would lead to my telling you my real opinion of you...

Still, my mother's explanation of the reason behind the wickedness and callousness displayed by some individual Nigerians like you stands and - heck, does not need your care or approval for it to make sense...!

If I showed her the names you called me when I have done you absolutely no wrong ever in this life and your reasons to justify those names, heck, if I showed the names you have called me to living family and friends and xgirl-friends and co-workers and acquaintances... would they all say that those words accurately described me??
Perhaps you don't care, or you could argue, that they don't really know me but that you do...!?

It is this simple truth that you do not really know me that should have guarded your words, dude!
Being viciously unkind with words is not smartness...
And yes, like I explained the names you called me and what you claimed you expected me to do for the girl helped made sense of all else that happened on that trip.
I thought It somehow all wrong that these people expected so much based solely on where I was coming from and they should have shown a little love like come to the burial because they cared about my mom or the family or because that's what relatives do rather than insists I pay for the transportations if they have to come and if you said it was the right thing to do for this girl then it must have been the right thing to do for everyone else including relatives and all...

So, yes I was not jumping to any conclusions...what you said actually does explained a lot


Now, someone may read the headlines and say wow, this dude is demanding that this girl gets pregnant and must have ulterior motive...but hey, sometimes things are not the way they appear to be, you know and only people who can "see" can understand this!

When a girl who:
6 months earlier told me to not contact her anymore if I was not coming home that November
(I respected that)

Then decided on her own to come see me when she learned after the fact I was home on a burial;
(I said okay)

I really liked her when I saw her
(And she said she like me)

Said said she was on her period and therefor no sex..
Later said she did not have sex for a year prior and it would hurt...
(I respected that)
She said the sex should be saved for after the marriage and I didn't think that was wise (but said okay if that made her happy!)

She had asked when I would come back for the wedding and I said in about 1-2 years to give us time to know each other more and so I could raise the cash to come back for it and do the sponsorship
(She said, absolutely no way...she gave me 6 months to come back for the wedding)

I said okay, explained how processing the papers worked and it would help if you were pregnant as visas are routinely denied to married people when they suspect it's a fake marriage...all true and besides (any real man is already starting to worry here too after so many NO, NO and NO from her!)
(Her response?? there will be no pregnancy until I get there!)
Asked why?
She said giving birth in nigeria is not safe
I pointed out she would be already with me b4 she is due and gave example of my cousin and his wife who arrived NY just 6months into her pregnancy...
(She said no way!)
Are there men here who accepts so many NO from a woman without worry and go ahead and marry them?
I am not used to so many no no no and will not settle for it and regret the rest of my life...

I asked for a kiss goodbye and she said wait till I get to the bus station and then...
I thought she forgot to give me this kiss after I payed her transport and she left.
And I have already observed above, she stopped talking to me 2 weeks after I got home and resumed 2months later as I did not let up as I was not given any explanation why she had stopped
(She was told to stop talking to me by her friends as the distance was too much she later said...
She is not sure if I loved her )

and I had said, pls look at ur phone, when I text you 4 times u respond to one of it! So how will anyone think u like me more??
Actually how can I love you when I'm not even sure you liked me, I had asked her!?
After I explained to her that when she does not respond to my text, the embassy will use it to deny her visa as they would say this looks like a fake love since American girls definitely will respond to all your text if they like you and want a relationship but her ways continued...
We tried some more...things didn't work out, and we gave up...I gave up!!


Fast forward a year later the other night and the person who introduced us learnt just a month ago from her that she said I was not ready for a relationship!
I asked why is that so and was told she said I did not give her extra cash when she came to see me and that she was so angry and embarrassed that she could not tell her friends about it!! She also almost refused the transport money!!

Why did she not ask for cash?
All those months I thought we had something going, why did she not say the issue was that I did not give her cash and so she is not sure if I loved her??

Like I already stated, I don't think she is evil, nor am I a bad person...it's just that there was a huge misunderstanding where she equate cash to love and since my 1st and last girlfriends were American and have as much money or more money than I do, I have never learned that cash is love in Naija and so did not clue in at all...

But it is what it is and we have both moved on!
I have tried to relate events as it happened giving ontological priority to things...
I doubt most reasonable people given my perspective would have not worry as I did!
I doubt most people would think I one the one who had bad motives...
I was told that there r a class of girls in Naija called runs girls who are not prostitutes in the traditional sense but however ask for cash to sleep with men, so I would not have guessed that this is the case even for love...
Worst still, there was no asking here just punishment for not giving! Lol

Pls, if you are reading this and you are in the process of making similar move, learn from this and proceed with caution as there is a huge cultural differences between you and them if you have been gone for a little while! It does not however mean every case will end like this...


Stay blessed y'all

oyinbogirl:



Wow, youve been through quite a ride there, a lot has happened & I hope you have learnt a valuable lesson from this. We cant see int peoples hearts so really taking time to get to know them is the next best thing. Anyways dont be in a rush to hook up yet. How are you situated now, single or engaged/married and what became of that girl now? Any gist?

Yes, you r right on the observation that we need time to get to know people and I was repeatedly told here I have no time other than the date she set I must come home to marry her lol
The girl now works for a bank in nigeria I was told a few nights ago and I'm really happy that the next man in her life may get a fair chance at love as money is no longer an issue or should not be!
But the dude seating in judgement of us above noted that they mostly have a psychological relationship with money when it comes down to it so, it will always be an issue! In other words, she did not expect cash from me because she herself did not have any necessarily...she expects it as a sign that I loved her and would care for all her needs no matter what!! Lol

I'm sure she is well and appears to be still single
As for me, I have moved on the moment my feeling that she did not like me was certain...
I don't hate her since I would receive a few hate myself for all the women who may have loved me and I have said no to...
It s life, no big deal..we r all tryna find our individual happiness, right!? That's how I see it anyways...

Although, I am an American n should be used to American girls as they are all I have dated in my life...I am not able to get over the drinking or smoking and recreational drug use here...that has been a huge issue but there are potentials for if not marriage, just a relationship and a couple of kids! It's the next best thing... Even my married friends now warn me not to get married at all...! Lol

Hi!
Wish me luck!!

$tunna:


Awww, nigga is all riled up because I called him on his heavily judgemental bs, eh!

Now I'm manipulative and wicked and these on top of the previous names I've been called!
You have eyes but can not see and can read but learn nothing and you somehow believe in the rightness of how you saw this situation even though you did not participate in it...your version of what happened and who is at fault is the one and only version! Right! Congratulations dude!

You think you are clever but you only sound clever as any advanced individual can see pass your I know it all posing (according to you, you know it all because you have been where I was!?[since no 2 situations r ever the same, then how could ya?] Except that you further state I think I know it all and I'm better than everyone else based solely on the fact that I'm from America!) right.

You are unreal dude!

Did you noticed how you inevitable admitted that I had only asked for advice? I didn't ask you to be a judge, now, did I?
Instead, based on your superiority complex you turned into not only mine but also the girl's judge and jury?!
The relationship had been over now for about a year and I will therefor not engage you further as doing so would lead to my telling you my real opinion of you...

Still, my mother's explanation of the reason behind the wickedness and callousness displayed by some individual Nigerians like you stands and - heck, does not need your care or approval for it to make sense...!

If I showed her the names you called me when I have done you absolutely no wrong ever in this life and your reasons to justify those names, heck, if I showed the names you have called me to living family and friends and xgirl-friends and co-workers and acquaintances... would they all say that those words accurately described me??
Perhaps you don't care, or you could argue, that they don't really know me but that you do...!?

It is this simple truth that you do not really know me that should have guarded your words, dude!
Being viciously unkind with words is not smartness...
And yes, like I explained the names you called me and what you claimed you expected me to do for the girl helped made sense of all else that happened on that trip.
I thought It somehow all wrong that these people expected so much based solely on where I was coming from and they should have shown a little love like come to the burial because they cared about my mom or the family or because that's what relatives do rather than insists I pay for the transportations if they have to come and if you said it was the right thing to do for this girl then it must have been the right thing to do for everyone else including relatives and all...

So, yes I was not jumping to any conclusions...what you said actually does explained a lot


Now, someone may read the headlines and say wow, this dude is demanding that this girl gets pregnant and must have ulterior motive...but hey, sometimes things are not the way they appear to be, you know and only people who can "see" can understand this!

When a girl who:
6 months earlier told me to not contact her anymore if I was not coming home that November
(I respected that)

Then decided on her own to come see me when she learned after the fact I was home on a burial;
(I said okay)

I really liked her when I saw her
(And she said she like me)

Said said she was on her period and therefor no sex..
Later said she did not have sex for a year prior and it would hurt...
(I respected that)
She said the sex should be saved for after the marriage and I didn't think that was wise (but said okay if that made her happy!)

She had asked when I would come back for the wedding and I said in about 1-2 years to give us time to know each other more and so I could raise the cash to come back for it and do the sponsorship
(She said, absolutely no way...she gave me 6 months to come back for the wedding)

I said okay, explained how processing the papers worked and it would help if you were pregnant as visas are routinely denied to married people when they suspect it's a fake marriage...all true and besides (any real man is already starting to worry here too after so many NO, NO and NO from her!)
(Her response?? there will be no pregnancy until I get there!)
Asked why?
She said giving birth in nigeria is not safe
I pointed out she would be already with me b4 she is due and gave example of my cousin and his wife who arrived NY just 6months into her pregnancy...
(She said no way!)
Are there men here who accepts so many NO from a woman without worry and go ahead and marry them?
I am not used to so many no no no and will not settle for it and regret the rest of my life...

I asked for a kiss goodbye and she said wait till I get to the bus station and then...
I thought she forgot to give me this kiss after I payed her transport and she left.
And I have already observed above, she stopped talking to me 2 weeks after I got home and resumed 2months later as I did not let up as I was not given any explanation why she had stopped
(She was told to stop talking to me by her friends as the distance was too much she later said...
She is not sure if I loved her )

and I had said, pls look at ur phone, when I text you 4 times u respond to one of it! So how will anyone think u like me more??
Actually how can I love you when I'm not even sure you liked me, I had asked her!?
After I explained to her that when she does not respond to my text, the embassy will use it to deny her visa as they would say this looks like a fake love since American girls definitely will respond to all your text if they like you and want a relationship but her ways continued...
We tried some more...things didn't work out, and we gave up...I gave up!!


Fast forward a year later the other night and the person who introduced us learnt just a month ago from her that she said I was not ready for a relationship!
I asked why is that so and was told she said I did not give her extra cash when she came to see me and that she was so angry and embarrassed that she could not tell her friends about it!! She also almost refused the transport money!!

Why did she not ask for cash?
All those months I thought we had something going, why did she not say the issue was that I did not give her cash and so she is not sure if I loved her??

Like I already stated, I don't think she is evil, nor am I a bad person...it's just that there was a huge misunderstanding where she equate cash to love and since my 1st and last girlfriends were American and have as much money or more money than I do, I have never learned that cash is love in Naija and so did not clue in at all...

But it is what it is and we have both moved on!
I have tried to relate events as it happened giving ontological priority to things...
I doubt most reasonable people given my perspective would have not worry as I did!
I doubt most people would think I one the one who had bad motives...
I was told that there r a class of girls in Naija called runs girls who are not prostitutes in the traditional sense but however ask for cash to sleep with men, so I would not have guessed that this is the case even for love...
Worst still, there was no asking here just punishment for not giving! Lol

Pls, if you are reading this and you are in the process of making similar move, learn from this and proceed with caution as there is a huge cultural differences between you and them if you have been gone for a little while! It does not however mean every case will end like this...


Stay blessed y'all

My mom this, my mom that. I asked my fiancee for a kiss but she said it will be at the park....STFup already! Quit yapping like a 6 years old school girl.

You present a case in a public forum demonizing a girl for exactly the same thing you did and you expect everybody to pat you on the back cos you are an American or cos yo mama told you so. Lol

And yes, I mean it when I said that you are a VERY wicked and manipulative man. You were bombarding the young girl from page one on why you think she might abscond as soon as she joins you in USA. You went ahead and narrated how other girls have left your looser friends and thereby would make sure she gets pregnant before coming to join you. But once I confronted you that you are as manipulative as the girl, you turned around to act as if you cared about her concerns earlier.
You can't lie and twist your intentions when only the topic of the thread has exposed you.

That kind of manipulation didn't work on the girl and certainly won't work on me. Maybe it will work for some naive young girls here.

The girl simply saw through you and decided to play you at your own game. Aside from that, it was clear she never liked you and that made you crazy and bitter to find out.

All these money issue is irrelevant cos it wasn't the issue at first. The issue was that you wanted to make sure you were parcelling an already pregnant and submissive Nigerian wife while she wanted to make sure she wasn't hoodwinked like her cousin.

Why did you have to wait for over a year and my post to see things from the girl's perspective? You had the right make your choice and you thot she doesn't have the right to make hers? That's wickedness if you ask me. Yet your family in Nigeria had the guts to condemn other Nigerians as wicked when in fact, their American son is the wicked one.
Why didn't your mom even advise you to just pick a western girl for a wife since they are not wicked?

Bro, truth is that you are so disconnected with realities both in USA and in Nigeria. Worst so, you are even more disconnected on how to merge the two cultures together. I laughed so hard when you asked me to find out from your colleagues if you are wicked. You are such a kid.

And for the umpteenth time, all I wrote on this thread has NOTHING to do with intelligence or superiority complex. All was out of experience as I have been in the two worlds...not as a visitor but as a long time resident.

I still wish you luck in your future endeavors.

$tunna:


We have gone our separate ways...and your response to that is that I am not God!?? Where did i being God come in here?? I'm begining to believer that something is mentally wrong with some people here!! Lolzz

GoodFaith r u one ot those silly Nigerians who voted for your president Jonathan because his name is Goodluck and that will bring Naija luck!??

Wow!

"GoodFaith r u one ot those silly Nigerians who voted for your president Jonathan because his name is Goodluck and that will bring Naija luck!??"

When I left home you likely might be about 17 years old if you are 40 now or 41

$tunna:



Although, I am an American n should be used to American girls as they are all I have dated in my life...I am not able to get over the drinking or smoking and recreational drug use here...that has been a huge issue but there are potentials for if not marriage, just a relationship and a couple of kids! It's the next best thing... Even my married friends now warn me not to get married at all...! Lol

Hi!
Wish me luck!!

I am not sure the type of ladies you dated that use recreational drugs , drinking or smoking
You are in a bad circle and you need to change the type of people you dated
You are 40 year old
You need to start looking real hard on what direction you want to take as it relate to marriage
You don't want to get old and have young kids
If you want to talk email me your phone number

Nuzo':


My mom this, my mom that. I asked my fiancee for a kiss but she said it will be at the park....STFup already! [WHEN YOU GET BUGGED DOWN IN OTHER PROPLE'S LIVES, YOU ARE GOING TO START HEARING DETAILS YOU MAY FIND NAUSEATING AND THIS IS WHY SMART PEOPLE DO NOT DIVE INTO OTHERS INTIMATE LIVES TO SPARE THEMSELVES DETAILS] Quit yapping like a 6 years old school girl.[SO, ACTUALLY ITS YOU WHO SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHEN TO QUIT AS THIS IS NOT YOUR ISSUE]

You present a case in a public forum demonizing a girl [I JUST LOOKED UP MY ORIGINAL POST TO SEE IF I HAD DEMONIZED THIS GIRL AND NOTICED MOST OF WHAT I HAVE REVEALED WHERE IN RESPONSE TO PERSONAL ATTACK ON ME BY CHARACTERS LIKE YOU, ACTUALLY!) for exactly the same thing you did and you expect everybody to pat you on the back cos you are an American [WHERR YOU EVER DENIAD A VISA TO AMERICA AND SETTLED WHERE YOU ARE NOW INSTEAD? HAHAHAHA! GET OVER IT DUDE, THERE IS LIFE OUTSIDE OF AMERICA] or cos yo mama told you so. Lol [DO YOU HATE WOMEN? DO YOU THINK ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME -BAD? ARE YOUR ATTACKS AN ATRMPT TO HIDE THIS FACT?]

And yes, I mean it when I said that you are a VERY wicked and manipulative man. [DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SIMPLE COMPREHENSION OR YOU THINK ANSWERING A SIMPLE QUESTION MAKES YOU APPEAR WEAK? I DID NOT ASK YOU IF YOU MEANT IT WHEN YOU CALLED ME WICKED AND ALL THOSE OTHER NAMES YOU HAVE CALLED ME, I SIMPLY ASKED YOU A VALID QUESTION: WILL PEOPLE WHO REALLY KNOW ME, AGREE WITH YOUR ASSESSMENT OF ME? IF THE ANSWER IS NO, THEY COULD VERY WELL NOT, THEN - WOULD YOU SIMPLY THEN SAY THAT'S BECAUSE THEY REALLY DONT KNOW ME OR IT WOULD BE SIMPLY THE CASE OF YOU DON'T CARE] You were bombarding the young girl []from page one on why you think she might abscond as soon as she joins you in USA[ YOU HAVE GOTTEN YOURSELF RESLLY IN TOO DEEP ON THIS LOL]. You went ahead and narrated how other girls have left your looser [YOU ARE VERY GENEROUS WITH YOUR ABUSE OF EVERYONE AND MAKES NOT TAKING YOU SERIOUSLY VERY EASY] friends and thereby would make sure she gets pregnant before coming to join you. But once I confronted you that you are as manipulative as the girl, [THE GIRL YOU ARE DEFENDING HER HONOUR AND ACTIONS HAVE NOT BEEN SPARED THE NAME CALLING FROM YOU EITHER, LOL] you turned around to act as if you cared about her concerns earlier[ACTUALLY, WHAT WOULD I WANT WITH THIS GIRL IF I DO NOT AND DID NOT CARE ABOUT HER CONCERNS? I HAD POINTED OUT VERY EARLY ON, BEFORE YOU INSERTED YOURSELF INTO IT THAT I REALLY HAVE NO INTENTION OF LEAVING THIS GIRL STRANDED OVER THERE. ITS NOT REALLY NECESSARY, SINCE I COULD EASILY HAVE LOOKED FOR A GIRL TO MARRY AND HAVE HER STAY THER ON AGREEMENT AND NOT THROUGH DECEIT. I POINTED OUT, I HAVE SISTERS AND WOULD NOT APPRECIATE IT IF SOME DUDE DID THAT TO THEM]
You can't lie and twist your intentions when only the topic of the thread has exposed you.[PLEASE LOOK UP THE MEANING OF "NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTIONAL BIAS"]

That kind of manipulation didn't work on the girl and certainly won't work on me. Maybe it will work for some naive young girls here.

The girl simply saw through you and decided to play you at your own game. [OR, IT COULD BE THAT SINCE HER BIG BROTHER WHOM SHE LIVED WITH WAS IN AMERICA FOR A YEAR AND TRIED TO MOVE HIS WIFE AND BABY FROM NIGERIA AND IT WAS DENIED AND HE WAS THEREFOR FORCED TO RELOCATE BACK HOME TO NAIJA WITH A BROKEN DREAM AND THIS GIRL MUST HAVE BEEN TRAUMATIZED ABOUT THIS AS SHOULD BE EXPECTED, COULD HAVE BEEN THE MORE REASONABLE SOURCE OF HER FEARS AND NOT ME OR SOME OTHER SHADDY THING I HAVE DONE] Aside from that, it was clear she never liked you and that made you crazy and bitter to find out[BITTER? LOL! If I SAW HER ON THE STREETS HERE TOMORROW MORNING, ARE YOU SURE THAT I WOULD NOT GIVE HER A HUG AND ASKED HOW SHE WAS? DO YOU REALLY THINK LOW OF EVERYONE LIKE THAT? YOU INDICATED YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH, WAS IT THAT TERRIBLE FOR YOU DUDE...?] .

All these money issue is irrelevant cos it wasn't the issue at first.[WHO DECIDES WHAT IS RELEVANT AND NOT RELEVANT HERE, YOU AS THE JUDGE AS I HAVE ALREADY POINTED OUT? LOL. NOW, A YEAR AFTER A RELATIONSHIP IS OVER, THE GIRL INVOLVED TOLD THE MAN WHO DID THE INTRODUCTION THAT THE REASON SHE FELT I WAS NOT READY WAS BECAUSE I DID NOT GIVE HER EXTRA CASH WHEN SHE CAME TO SEE ME WHEN I WAS HOME FOR A BURIAL AND YOU HAD CALLED ME NAMES FOR THAT, SO WHO DECIDED WHAT THE ISSUE WAS, YOU OR THE GIRL...?] The issue was that you wanted to make sure you were parcelling an already pregnant and submissive Nigerian wife while she wanted to make sure she wasn't hoodwinked like her cousin[WHAT COUSIN?? SOUNDS LIKE YOU KNOW HIS GIRL BETTER THAN I DO AT THIS POINT, WHICH EXPLAINS A LOT].

Why did you have to wait for over a year and my post to see things from the girl's perspective? [NOW, DO YOU MISTAKE AN EDUCATED PERSON'S ABILITY TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE'S POINT OF VIEW AS MEANING THAT THEY SHOULD AGREE WITH SUCH SAID OPINIONS OR VIEWPOINTS!?] You had the right make your choice and you thot she doesn't have the right to make hers? [ADID I LUCH A LAW SUIT OVER HER DECISIONS?] That's wickedness if you ask me.[YOU ARE MUCH!] Yet your family in Nigeria had the guts to condemn other Nigerians as wicked when in fact, their American son is the wicked one.[DUDE, YOU ONLY SOUND CLEAVER AS YOU MAKE LEAPS FROM ONE ILLOGICAL CLAIMS TO EVEN MORE IMPROBABLE CONCLUSIONS! MY FAMILY AND THEIR OBSERVATIONS ABOUT NIGERIA CAN LOGICALLY BE SAID TO BE TRUE IN GENERAL AS THEY KNOW NIGERIA AND ARE THEMSELVES NIGERIANS WHERAS YOUR YAKING YAK ABOUT ME CAN BE TAKEN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT AS YOU CAN NOT BE SAID TO KNOW ME]
Why didn't your mom even advise you to just pick a western girl for a wife since they are not wicked? [AGAIN ANOTHER LEAP OF LOGIC!]

Bro, truth is that you are so disconnected with realities both in USA and in Nigeria[ARE YOU SERIOUS HERE? EVER HEARD OF STUDIES IN QUANTUM MECHANICS THAT SAYS I CREAT MY OWN UNIQUE REALITY? YOU DONT REALLY BELIEVE IN SOME USA OR GENERAL NIGERIAN REALITY THAT EXIST OUTSIDE OF THE LIFE THAT I WANT FOR MYSELF AND HAVE CREATED FOR MYSELF THAT I AM SOMEHOW NOT CONNECTED WITH, DO YOU REALLY? WILL MY AMERICAN CO-WORKERS AGREE WITH YOUR ASSUMPTIONS OR THEIR OPINION WOULD BE IRRELEVANT AS IT TURNS OUT YOU KNOW ME MORE!?]. Worst so, you are even more disconnected [DO YOU THINK USING WORDS AS WEAPONS MAKE YOU SMART AND THISE WHI TRY NO DO SO AS BEING NOT SO SMART?] on how to merge the two cultures together[LOL IF ONLY YOU KNOW MY THOUGHTS ON THIS ISSUE YOU JUST RAISED]. I laughed so hard when you asked me to find out from your colleagues if you are wicked. You are such a kid.[THE ONLY THING ANY MATURE PERSON READING THIS WOULD ACTUALLY ONLY FAULT ME FOR HERE, WOULD BE THE VERY IDEA OF TAKING YOUR SILLINESS SO SERIOUSLY AS TO WARRANT ASKING YOU IF YOU THOUGHT MY FRIENDS, FAMILY AND INDEED COLLEAGUES - WHOM MOST HUMBLE PEOPLE WOULD INSTINCTIVELY ACKNOWLEDGE KNOW ME BETTER THAN YOU - WOULD HOLD THE SAME VIEW! I KNOW WHO I AM, IS A GIVEN AND YOU OR ANYONE CAN NOT REDEFINE ME...! DIG DONG; THE JOKE IS ON YOU, DUDE]

And for the umpteenth time, all I wrote on this thread has NOTHING to do with intelligence or superiority complex. All was out of experience as I have been in the two worlds...not as a visitor but as a long time resident.[DUDE, IT IS NOT THE FACT OF YOUR BEING PRESENT IN ANY TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS THAT MAKE OR BREAK YOUR JUDGEMENTAL AND MOSTLY HYPPED UP OVER SIMPLIFIED ONE DIMENSIONAL PORTRAYAL OF OTHERWISE VERY DYNAMIC INDIVIDUALS BUT YOUR INSINUATION THAT SUCH EXPERIENCE OF YOURS MADE YOU AND YOUR RESULTANT MOSTLY BASELESS NAMES CALLING AND ABUSE OF EVERYONE A SITUATION OF FEELING YOU ARE SUPERIOR OR MORE INTELLIGENT! GET!?]

I still wish you luck in your future endeavors.

On a last note, people here are complete individuals and not caricatures and you must in the future temper your utterances with humility as you really can not know people based on a single post! Your very opening sentence told a lot about you as you had called me a mugu!
Your experiences are not at issue here but you must also acknowledge that others have had similar experiences to what you may have hard and some here have seen my case differently than you have and they too could be right...
The number one predictor of success in this life is said to be ones emotional intelligence, and it dictates that you know yourself and put breaks on what you say to people, loved ones as well as strangers!
The ability to do so does not make you weak, it's called people skills..l
If you do not practice having it, the few good things and ideas you may have will get lost in the abuse...!

Everyone is vulnerable when it comes to love as it is the only thing in this life you need another human to share and just because you are a good person, have love, give love, is not a guarantee that you will get love back! Riches does not give love...as a matter of fact, there is the saying that love is only for the lucky... Those who have it today do not necessarily have it tomorrow and it's all good, really

I have gone out of my way to restrain the American in me and return the abuse with abuse and you have wrongly taken that for weakness I noticed from your words lol

I consider my life blessed! Hope you as well...

. Take care

GoodFaith:
I am not sure the type of ladies you dated that use recreational drugs , drinking or smoking
You are in a bad circle and you need to change the type of people you dated
You are 40 year old
You need to start looking real hard on what direction you want to take as it relate to marriage
You don't want to get old and have young kids
If you want to talk email me your phone number

Bad circle? Nope, doing those things are not considered bad here...
I just personally do not wish to marry and settle down with anyone who does any of these...
It does not mean they are bad people. It's a free society and many woman from back home also change when they get here and have the freedom the women here have to do as they please.
It's not all the women here who do all of that but most do one or the other...
But, as they say here...the devil one knows is better than the angel one does not...
So, all is good and blessed.

Thanks for the offer though, I've moved on with my life

$tunna

I thot I've told you to stop being manipulative when dealing with me? Why did you have to insert your own abusive comments in my quote then rush to write a mother Theresa sermon differently?

What are you trying to hide? Why can't you be straight and honest with yourself for once?

And you thot I called you a Mugu in bad faith? Not actually. It's a common word people use on their friends here who our greedy girls see as gold mine. So far you say the word with a smiley face or emoticon, no problem. But you didn't understand the joke cos of your disconnection from realities here.
I'm not surprised cos the only connection was what your dear mama (rip) told you.

And no, I've never been denied visa to anywhere in the world and I have lived about 4 years in developed and free society. And no, I never wished to live outside Nigeria as a family man. And not everybody wishes to be an American.

Lastly, the biggest lie you've had to tell is that over 50 million single American women either do drugs or are drunks. Fat lie! Like Goodfaith rightly said, you need to change the circle of friends or environment you've been hanging out in. Or is it that you are an older man with a communication and relationship skill of a 12 years old middle schoolboy?

Next time when you have an issue, do your manipulative self a favor by keeping it to yourself if you don't want people to expose your evil intentions.

Cheers.

Nuzo':
$tunna

I thot I've told you to stop being manipulative when dealing with me? Why did you have to insert your own abusive comments in my quote then rush to write a mother Theresa sermon differently?

What are you trying to hide? Why can't you be straight and honest with yourself for once?

And you thot I called you a Mugu in bad faith? Not actually. It's a common word people use on their friends here who our greedy girls see as gold mine. So far you say the word with a smiley face or emoticon, no problem. But you didn't understand the joke cos of your disconnection from realities here.
I'm not surprised cos the only connection was what your dear mama (rip) told you.

And no, I've never been denied visa to anywhere in the world and I have lived about 4 years in developed and free society. And no, I never wished to live outside Nigeria as a family man. And not everybody wishes to be an American.

Lastly, the biggest lie you've had to tell is that over 50 million single American women either do drugs or are drunks. Fat lie! Like Goodfaith rightly said, you need to change the circle of friends or environment you've been hanging out in. Or is it that you are an older man with a communication and relationship skill of a 12 years old middle schoolboy?

Next time when you have an issue, do your manipulative self a favor by keeping it to yourself if you don't want people to expose your evil intentions.

Cheers.

HEY, MANGINA,

You sound like you have had a frustrated life and now it makes sense as you are one of those people Nigerians refers to as "BEEN TO" when i was growing up! You are one of those who think either by reading about Americans or visiting here, you are an expert in the lives of Americans, right!?
It shows, in your writings and warped logic that no matter how much of a western person you may think you are based on the measily 4 years you claimed you have spent in the developed world...you come across as just another half-baked nigga!

Yes, you hard me right, and you would not make it for a day in America without meeting a violent death in the hands of Americans who invented the whole - I don't care concept that you are trying so desperately to maintain!
Fu-ck you, fu-ck ur I been to but failed attitude! Fu-ck ur I rememberd how it was attitude and fu-ck ur opinions, mother fucker...

You really are a piece of shit dude and to hell with your goddamned opinions...
Did I really need spell all of this out to ya b4 you quit your shenanigans on this thread, really?
I have moved on with my life, and the beautiful lady has too with hers, so, the obvious question is what any of this is to ya, bitch-ass-nigga...!?

Yup, only bitches get all up this way in other people's business the way you have here or could you be on your period? Sounds like it!
There ain't any throphy for those who have "been to" America, now is there...??

Look, nigga, move it along because your childish rants is getting tiring, hell...people could ask you a rather simple question about your state of mind if you hold on to an ultimately futile and meaningless debate - yes, everything you have said so far here is all meaningless and futile, as the girl is not reading it and it will have zero effect on me and my view of life...you can see that already or are you too dumb to see it and if you are not that dumb - really!? Why continue??
Do the Africans not say that he who have endless word with a mad person is equally mad?

How could you so understand manipulators so affectively if you are not one and or have never been so badly manipulated b4!?
You have an uncontrollable rage in you that shines through and if you think, that you are civilized and that you demonstrate that by what you are doing now...then I really wonder and feel sorry for the blind people you may be a-one-eyed-man around!?

I warned u about not prompting me to tell you what I really really do think about you...but you are not the type who stops when they are demonstrably wrong and wise people everywhere know it's okay to stop sometimes even when you are right!
So, what gives dude, really?
Bleep off of my thread, and go check if there is anymore gas on your generator or could it be the noise from that stupid thing y'all run that sometimes make you hard of hearing...

What a total jerk you are...
You are the 1st real MANGINA (look it up) I've met here on Nairaland...

If you don't like being called a mangina...jump on the 1st dirty river you see and that might help wash off some of the rage you have b4 you meet whichever god you serve to explain your miserable life to, as to why your life turned out to be a total failure...THAT YOU DEFINE YOUR LIFE BY "been to"

4years in a developed nation my behind, pretender to the values of advanced societies why displaying the very worst of the worst of some backward banana republic!
smdh!
Get the fu-ck out of this thread yo

You need help when you are clearly seeing the word manipulator everywhere you look when others see a clear mistake...
Are you off of some meds that otherwise helps to control ur rage and paranoia...
If no, then get on one...and get off of my d!€k

Damn! World War III just started on this thread.

Mr Stunna, abeg calm down. You don't need this. Neither of you needs it. The problem has been solved, no need to create unnecessary enmity and utter such hurtful words. This isn't a good way to end the year.

Please you guys should let peace reign and respect each other's opinion. God bless us all.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year in advance.

Nuzo':


My mom this, my mom that. I asked my fiancee for a kiss but she said it will be at the park....STFup already! Quit yapping like a 6 years old school girl.

You present a case in a public forum demonizing a girl for exactly the same thing you did and you expect everybody to pat you on the back cos you are an American or cos yo mama told you so. Lol

And yes, I mean it when I said that you are a VERY wicked and manipulative man. You were bombarding the young girl from page one on why you think she might abscond as soon as she joins you in USA. You went ahead and narrated how other girls have left your looser friends and thereby would make sure she gets pregnant before coming to join you. But once I confronted you that you are as manipulative as the girl, you turned around to act as if you cared about her concerns earlier.
You can't lie and twist your intentions when only the topic of the thread has exposed you.

That kind of manipulation didn't work on the girl and certainly won't work on me. Maybe it will work for some naive young girls here.

The girl simply saw through you and decided to play you at your own game. Aside from that, it was clear she never liked you and that made you crazy and bitter to find out.

All these money issue is irrelevant cos it wasn't the issue at first. The issue was that you wanted to make sure you were parcelling an already pregnant and submissive Nigerian wife while she wanted to make sure she wasn't hoodwinked like her cousin.

Why did you have to wait for over a year and my post to see things from the girl's perspective? You had the right make your choice and you thot she doesn't have the right to make hers? That's wickedness if you ask me. Yet your family in Nigeria had the guts to condemn other Nigerians as wicked when in fact, their American son is the wicked one.
Why didn't your mom even advise you to just pick a western girl for a wife since they are not wicked?

Bro, truth is that you are so disconnected with realities both in USA and in Nigeria. Worst so, you are even more disconnected on how to merge the two cultures together. I laughed so hard when you asked me to find out from your colleagues if you are wicked. You are such a kid.

And for the umpteenth time, all I wrote on this thread has NOTHING to do with intelligence or superiority complex. All was out of experience as I have been in the two worlds...not as a visitor but as a long time resident.

I still wish you luck in your future endeavors.

((This is my response to the above and it does not take genius to quickly see what I had tried to do; but you, nope...you have been manipulated all your life so must be on guard! Your life must be exhausting I dare to say!

So, here is your silly post and my response within it but clearly bolded...and most smart people would have quickly realized after reading a few lines despite the technical situation)

Nuzo {$tunna's response CAPITALIZED AND INSERT}

My mom this, my mom that. I asked my fiancee for a kiss but she said it will be at the park....STFup already! [WHEN YOU GET BUGGED DOWN IN OTHER PROPLE'S LIVES, YOU ARE GOING TO START HEARING DETAILS YOU MAY FIND NAUSEATING AND THIS IS WHY SMART PEOPLE DO NOT DIVE INTO OTHERS INTIMATE LIVES TO SPARE THEMSELVES DETAILS] Quit yapping like a 6 years old school girl.[SO, ACTUALLY ITS YOU WHO SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHEN TO QUIT AS THIS IS NOT YOUR ISSUE]

You present a case in a public forum demonizing a girl [I JUST LOOKED UP MY ORIGINAL POST TO SEE IF I HAD DEMONIZED THIS GIRL AND NOTICED MOST OF WHAT I HAVE REVEALED WHERE IN RESPONSE TO PERSONAL ATTACK ON ME BY CHARACTERS LIKE YOU, ACTUALLY!) for exactly the same thing you did and you expect everybody to pat you on the back cos you are an American [WHERR YOU EVER DENIAD A VISA TO AMERICA AND SETTLED WHERE YOU ARE NOW INSTEAD? HAHAHAHA! GET OVER IT DUDE, THERE IS LIFE OUTSIDE OF AMERICA] or cos yo mama told you so. Lol [DO YOU HATE WOMEN? DO YOU THINK ALL WOMEN ARE THE SAME -BAD? ARE YOUR ATTACKS AN ATRMPT TO HIDE THIS FACT?]

And yes, I mean it when I said that you are a VERY wicked and manipulative man. [DO YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH SIMPLE COMPREHENSION OR YOU THINK ANSWERING A SIMPLE QUESTION MAKES YOU APPEAR WEAK? I DID NOT ASK YOU IF YOU MEANT IT WHEN YOU CALLED ME WICKED AND ALL THOSE OTHER NAMES YOU HAVE CALLED ME, I SIMPLY ASKED YOU A VALID QUESTION: WILL PEOPLE WHO REALLY KNOW ME, AGREE WITH YOUR ASSESSMENT OF ME? IF THE ANSWER IS NO, THEY COULD VERY WELL NOT, THEN - WOULD YOU SIMPLY THEN SAY THAT'S BECAUSE THEY REALLY DONT KNOW ME OR IT WOULD BE SIMPLY THE CASE OF YOU DON'T CARE] You were bombarding the young girl []from page one on why you think she might abscond as soon as she joins you in USA[ YOU HAVE GOTTEN YOURSELF RESLLY IN TOO DEEP ON THIS LOL]. You went ahead and narrated how other girls have left your looser [YOU ARE VERY GENEROUS WITH YOUR ABUSE OF EVERYONE AND MAKES NOT TAKING YOU SERIOUSLY VERY EASY] friends and thereby would make sure she gets pregnant before coming to join you. But once I confronted you that you are as manipulative as the girl, [THE GIRL YOU ARE DEFENDING HER HONOUR AND ACTIONS HAVE NOT BEEN SPARED THE NAME CALLING FROM YOU EITHER, LOL] you turned around to act as if you cared about her concerns earlier[ACTUALLY, WHAT WOULD I WANT WITH THIS GIRL IF I DO NOT AND DID NOT CARE ABOUT HER CONCERNS? I HAD POINTED OUT VERY EARLY ON, BEFORE YOU INSERTED YOURSELF INTO IT THAT I REALLY HAVE NO INTENTION OF LEAVING THIS GIRL STRANDED OVER THERE. ITS NOT REALLY NECESSARY, SINCE I COULD EASILY HAVE LOOKED FOR A GIRL TO MARRY AND HAVE HER STAY THER ON AGREEMENT AND NOT THROUGH DECEIT. I POINTED OUT, I HAVE SISTERS AND WOULD NOT APPRECIATE IT IF SOME DUDE DID THAT TO THEM]
You can't lie and twist your intentions when only the topic of the thread has exposed you.[PLEASE LOOK UP THE MEANING OF "NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTIONAL BIAS"]

That kind of manipulation didn't work on the girl and certainly won't work on me. Maybe it will work for some naive young girls here.

The girl simply saw through you and decided to play you at your own game. [OR, IT COULD BE THAT SINCE HER BIG BROTHER WHOM SHE LIVED WITH WAS IN AMERICA FOR A YEAR AND TRIED TO MOVE HIS WIFE AND BABY FROM NIGERIA AND IT WAS DENIED AND HE WAS THEREFOR FORCED TO RELOCATE BACK HOME TO NAIJA WITH A BROKEN DREAM AND THIS GIRL MUST HAVE BEEN TRAUMATIZED ABOUT THIS AS SHOULD BE EXPECTED, COULD HAVE BEEN THE MORE REASONABLE SOURCE OF HER FEARS AND NOT ME OR SOME OTHER SHADDY THING I HAVE DONE] Aside from that, it was clear she never liked you and that made you crazy and bitter to find out[BITTER? LOL! If I SAW HER ON THE STREETS HERE TOMORROW MORNING, ARE YOU SURE THAT I WOULD NOT GIVE HER A HUG AND ASKED HOW SHE WAS? DO YOU REALLY THINK LOW OF EVERYONE LIKE THAT? YOU INDICATED YOU HAVE BEEN THROUGH WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH, WAS IT THAT TERRIBLE FOR YOU DUDE...?] .

All these money issue is irrelevant cos it wasn't the issue at first.[WHO DECIDES WHAT IS RELEVANT AND NOT RELEVANT HERE, YOU AS THE JUDGE AS I HAVE ALREADY POINTED OUT? LOL. NOW, A YEAR AFTER A RELATIONSHIP IS OVER, THE GIRL INVOLVED TOLD THE MAN WHO DID THE INTRODUCTION THAT THE REASON SHE FELT I WAS NOT READY WAS BECAUSE I DID NOT GIVE HER EXTRA CASH WHEN SHE CAME TO SEE ME WHEN I WAS HOME FOR A BURIAL AND YOU HAD CALLED ME NAMES FOR THAT, SO WHO DECIDED WHAT THE ISSUE WAS, YOU OR THE GIRL...?] The issue was that you wanted to make sure you were parcelling an already pregnant and submissive Nigerian wife while she wanted to make sure she wasn't hoodwinked like her cousin[WHAT COUSIN?? SOUNDS LIKE YOU KNOW HIS GIRL BETTER THAN I DO AT THIS POINT, WHICH EXPLAINS A LOT].

Why did you have to wait for over a year and my post to see things from the girl's perspective? [NOW, DO YOU MISTAKE AN EDUCATED PERSON'S ABILITY TO SEE OTHER PEOPLE'S POINT OF VIEW AS MEANING THAT THEY SHOULD AGREE WITH SUCH SAID OPINIONS OR VIEWPOINTS!?] You had the right make your choice and you thot she doesn't have the right to make hers? [ADID I LUCH A LAW SUIT OVER HER DECISIONS?] That's wickedness if you ask me.[YOU ARE MUCH!] Yet your family in Nigeria had the guts to condemn other Nigerians as wicked when in fact, their American son is the wicked one.[DUDE, YOU ONLY SOUND CLEAVER AS YOU MAKE LEAPS FROM ONE ILLOGICAL CLAIMS TO EVEN MORE IMPROBABLE CONCLUSIONS! MY FAMILY AND THEIR OBSERVATIONS ABOUT NIGERIA CAN LOGICALLY BE SAID TO BE TRUE IN GENERAL AS THEY KNOW NIGERIA AND ARE THEMSELVES NIGERIANS WHERAS YOUR YAKING YAK ABOUT ME CAN BE TAKEN WITH A GRAIN OF SALT AS YOU CAN NOT BE SAID TO KNOW ME]
Why didn't your mom even advise you to just pick a western girl for a wife since they are not wicked? [AGAIN ANOTHER LEAP OF LOGIC!]

Bro, truth is that you are so disconnected with realities both in USA and in Nigeria[ARE YOU SERIOUS HERE? EVER HEARD OF STUDIES IN QUANTUM MECHANICS THAT SAYS I CREAT MY OWN UNIQUE REALITY? YOU DONT REALLY BELIEVE IN SOME USA OR GENERAL NIGERIAN REALITY THAT EXIST OUTSIDE OF THE LIFE THAT I WANT FOR MYSELF AND HAVE CREATED FOR MYSELF THAT I AM SOMEHOW NOT CONNECTED WITH, DO YOU REALLY? WILL MY AMERICAN CO-WORKERS AGREE WITH YOUR ASSUMPTIONS OR THEIR OPINION WOULD BE IRRELEVANT AS IT TURNS OUT YOU KNOW ME MORE!?]. Worst so, you are even more disconnected [DO YOU THINK USING WORDS AS WEAPONS MAKE YOU SMART AND THISE WHI TRY NO DO SO AS BEING NOT SO SMART?] on how to merge the two cultures together[LOL IF ONLY YOU KNOW MY THOUGHTS ON THIS ISSUE YOU JUST RAISED]. I laughed so hard when you asked me to find out from your colleagues if you are wicked. You are such a kid.[THE ONLY THING ANY MATURE PERSON READING THIS WOULD ACTUALLY ONLY FAULT ME FOR HERE, WOULD BE THE VERY IDEA OF TAKING YOUR SILLINESS SO SERIOUSLY AS TO WARRANT ASKING YOU IF YOU THOUGHT MY FRIENDS, FAMILY AND INDEED COLLEAGUES - WHOM MOST HUMBLE PEOPLE WOULD INSTINCTIVELY ACKNOWLEDGE KNOW ME BETTER THAN YOU - WOULD HOLD THE SAME VIEW! I KNOW WHO I AM, IS A GIVEN AND YOU OR ANYONE CAN NOT REDEFINE ME...! DIG DONG; THE JOKE IS ON YOU, DUDE]

And for the umpteenth time, all I wrote on this thread has NOTHING to do with intelligence or superiority complex. All was out of experience as I have been in the two worlds...not as a visitor but as a long time resident.[DUDE, IT IS NOT THE FACT OF YOUR BEING PRESENT IN ANY TWO DIFFERENT WORLDS THAT MAKE OR BREAK YOUR JUDGEMENTAL AND MOSTLY HYPPED UP OVER SIMPLIFIED ONE DIMENSIONAL PORTRAYAL OF OTHERWISE VERY DYNAMIC INDIVIDUALS BUT YOUR INSINUATION THAT SUCH EXPERIENCE OF YOURS MADE YOU AND YOUR RESULTANT MOSTLY BASELESS NAMES CALLING AND ABUSE OF EVERYONE A SITUATION OF FEELING YOU ARE SUPERIOR OR MORE INTELLIGENT! GET!?]

I still wish you luck in your future endeavors.


($tunna's response continues...)
On a last note, people here are complete individuals and not caricatures and you must in the future temper your utterances with humility as you really can not know people based on a single post! Your very opening sentence told a lot about you as you had called me a mugu!
Your experiences are not at issue here but you must also acknowledge that others have had similar experiences to what you may have hard and some here have seen my case differently than you have and they too could be right...
The number one predictor of success in this life is said to be ones emotional intelligence, and it dictates that you know yourself and put breaks on what you say to people, loved ones as well as strangers!
The ability to do so does not make you weak, it's called people skills..l
If you do not practice having it, the few good things and ideas you may have will get lost in the abuse...!

Everyone is vulnerable when it comes to love as it is the only thing in this life you need another human to share and just because you are a good person, have love, give love, is not a guarantee that you will get love back! Riches does not give love...as a matter of fact, there is the saying that love is only for the lucky... Those who have it today do not necessarily have it tomorrow and it's all good, really

I have gone out of my way to restrain the American in me and return the abuse with abuse and you have wrongly taken that for weakness I noticed from your words lol

I consider my life blessed! Hope you as well...

. Take care

erad: Damn! World War III just started on this thread.

Mr Stunna, abeg calm down. You don't need this. Neither of you needs it. The problem has been solved, no need to create unnecessary enmity and utter such hurtful words. This isn't a good way to end the year.

Please you guys should let peace reign and respect each other's opinion. God bless us all.

Merry Christmas and a happy new year in advance.

Thanks erad. The sooner the "has been to" backs off of my d!€k and thread the better it gwaan be fi every1, since he had clearly crossed the line after several posts where I consistently tried not to respond with abuse to his abuses and names calling which he then clearly mistook against all odds for weakness.

Sending you best of seasons greetings too!

Bless

Get off your thread? When did you become Seun Osewa? I mean, how naive can you be on a public forum?

Look bro, like I said earlier, you exhibit the characteristics of a 6 years school girl who was caught trying to steal fish from a pot of soup...but instead of apologizing she cries all day while on hunger strike. Defensive mechanism/manipulative, that's your behavior here.

It doesn't matter if I have been a 4 years "Has Been", visitor or just a historian...the fact remains that you lied about majority of American women being drug addicts and drunks. As usual, instead of proving your lies to be true, you went on an essay spree of insults. Another defensive mechanism.

It's such a pity that after being born and raised in America, you still don't understand your environment. Worst still, Nigeria; your fatherland. You had to depend on a local "historian" like me to tell you what's happening in your American environment.

You are simply lost in both worlds.

Tho you are a middle aged man, your irrational style of thinking can still be redeemed. First is to first acknowledge that even tho you may be a brilliant middle aged (a straight A high school student), you are not an intelligent and smart guy.

2. Learn to respect other people's opinion...especially ladies. As you have your choice, so does others. And all should be respected.

3. Learn to keep an open mind. As you assume that people have ulterior motives, so do people assume you have ulterior motives.

4. Not all Nigerian girls fall for a sharp American. Talk more of a middle aged American dummy and bully.

5. Learn to discuss issues and when told the truth; digest it with an open heart instead of throwing tantrums like a 6 years old school girl.

6. Nairaland is an open forum for all. Opinions and comments in the thread are exclusive rights of whoever holds such opinion and therefore shouldn't be manipulated like you did when quoting my post. However, nairaland and all threads therein is owned by Oluwaseun Osewa.

Lastly, page 1 an 2 of this thread showed some of your abusive and non tolerant opinions you had about the girl and others who didn't pat you on the back until I called you out. Good a thing you have realized she may not be as bad as you had painted her here. After all, her only sin to you was that she never liked you...not to talk of loving you.

Enjoy.