Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,160,422 members, 7,843,287 topics. Date: Tuesday, 28 May 2024 at 10:03 PM

A Job Application - Jokes Etc - Nairaland

Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Jokes Etc / A Job Application (958 Views)

A Funny Job Application Denial Letter / Job Application Letter / Chioya's Job Application (2) (3) (4)

(1) (Reply) (Go Down)

A Job Application by ravenzord(m): 2:31pm On Dec 17, 2007
This is an actual job application a 17 year old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida, and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!

NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS?: Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Yes. Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries
Re: A Job Application by sammy6(m): 4:37pm On Dec 17, 2007
The boy na useless boy
Re: A Job Application by topeteadr(m): 4:42pm On Dec 17, 2007
This joke has been remixed lots of times.
Re: A Job Application by AllenforGOD(m): 7:04pm On Apr 05, 2022
The boy worst abeg ,may He live to see all he's projected

(1) (Reply)

Cheap Labour. . . . . . . / Why Are Women So Complex? / I Want To Be Six Again

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 9
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.