You seem to be letting him get away with his carelessness, find a way to make him be contributing to the upkeep of his child say "child support". In some countries some men do not like commitment and will even abandon their woman and the babies simply because they don't want that commitment of taking care of children, such attitudes are hard to come by among our Nigerian men though. It's amazing that men like that runs back to the same children they abandoned as soon as the children hits stardom or something.

May God strengthen you in your effort to provide and care for that child, it isn't easy to care for a child. Hugs to you.

@ cotton 1o1 i dont understand ur question

my duaghters father has no interest in her, doesn't ask after her or provide any form of support.

I am trying to understand the behaviour - he is a full Nigerian, it may be rare but he is Nigerian.

Madam CC was waiting for your response - I have to run off now (i always seem to be running off but when you are bringing up a princess its very demanding)

I left the door wide open when she was a little baby even thou I would be verbally abused on the phone - b4 anyone says o it must be my fault please tell me what a woman who has just given birth and 2 days after the baby has been born i'm still being insulted (nursing my body after a CS and loss of blood - i'm reading insult in HDU). anyway he has the financial means - he has been spoken about in another area on this NL and he is a bit well known.

I kept the door open but he was never interested - i did all the calling and updating until one day it hit me that this man never asked after his child it was me updating and trying to form some sort of relationship.

anyway I am about to remarry so that kind of changes things.

I really have to go now and drop little madam at nursery, b4 all her little fans start crying cos she is late.

@ poster a ya.i feel so sorry about ur challenge,i now understand what ure going through.in dat case i will ask u to forget d fada of ur daughter,move on with ur life and act like hes non existent,transfer d love ull have shown him to ur daughter.all dis sad news about men and their behaviours in marriage is really freakin me out.i just read about an uncarin man with a pregnant wife, with a very selfish and inconsiderate attitude,now dis. Are there no more men with characters,y must women suffer all dis trauma because of dia kids and marriage.all dis stories sef is enof for women to be afraid of men,just gettin pregnant for a random guy,pay him off,take care of d child alone,live ur life and b happy,is actually beta and pays off for d woman dan all dis thrash

Madam CC I wasn't referring to you, I was just saying that I tend to find that when there is a problem its always the woman's fault. I had an extremely difficult high risk pregnancy, u name it I had it and I was blamed for this man's behaviour by his family (I should have made the home more peaceful then he wouldn't have cheated - yes his mother actually opened her mouth to say that) even when I left he would still insult me and verbally abuse me over the phone - my crime asking him to be interested in the baby I was carrying and send money.

My daughter will be 2 in a few months time and this man has not given me a dime - it used to get to me but I have moved on now and have done it alone, she does not lack a thing and is a confident and beautiful girl (I'm not just saying that cos i'm her mum - she stops traffic )

My fiance and his family have accepted me and my daughter with open arms I just sit down and wonder how a man can wake up everyday, eat food and sleep knowing he has a child somewhere and it doesn't disturb him.

cotton101: I left the door wide open when she was a little baby even thou I would be verbally abused on the phone - b4 anyone says o it must be my fault please tell me what a woman who has just given birth and 2 days after the baby has been born i'm still being insulted (nursing my body after a CS and loss of blood - i'm reading insult in HDU). anyway he has the financial means - he has been spoken about in another area on this NL and he is a bit well known.

I kept the door open but he was never interested - i did all the calling and updating until one day it hit me that this man never asked after his child it was me updating and trying to form some sort of relationship.

anyway I am about to remarry so that kind of changes things.

I really have to go now and drop little madam at nursery, b4 all her little fans start crying cos she is late.

well i will advice this hoping it would work for you and thats if you can do it,it has worked for someone i know...
Locate his current workin place and were he loves to hang out with friends, it has to be a very good timing so you meet him unawares. Go there with your child and have a strict disccution with him, i know he would want to listen to u,if u have to shout on him or embarass him infront of his co workers or boss then do. Your main aim is to let his co workers and friends know the kinda person he is. And since most of them would be family men and women,they are sure to talk some sence into his head after you leave which would make if ashamed and take up his role.

Note that that action is realy goin to embarass him if you dont mind. Do it twice if u can. Hope it works for you. Have you also tried talking to a lawyer??

Tay - thanks for the advice but we are in different countries - I can easily type his name here and u guys will know who i am talking about and he will be totally shamed into people knowing the type of person he really is. haba - do u know how many times I have wanted to go on another thread where people are praising him and tell them what this man is really like.

I leave it all to God cos his wrath will always be more powerful than anything a human can do.

I have spoken to his family and that has not worked, I stopped calling a long time ago when I realised that no one can talk sense into him/ or they are just like that. like I have said my daughter didn't lack when I wasn't working and she sure as hell does not lack now that I am a working mother.

I just wonder about the mindset a man like that has.

He believes he's not the childs father. It was a fling or one-night/drunk se.x .
He just does not want a child.
He told you from the get go that he doesn't want a child but you felt you can get him to marry you/change his mindset when he sees his child.
He is just being mean.

OP the man you'll get married will be more of a father to your daugther than her real father. I have seen these things happen , in 1 case the new husband even adopt the child as his own and the father wasn't interested. Out of tatafo, pls what is the man's name

do women still believe that a man WILL/MUST care for a child, regardless of how that man feels about that said child?! this is a no brainer, many women try to force men to marry them by "tricking them" with pregnancy.....and therefore, many of these said men will simply detach themselves from the whole mother and child, and have VERY little respect for either of them.
pls OP, i am not saying that this is what happened to you, i am just giving you a VALID reason why men would act this way.

also, the fact that it's a girl (instead of a boy) may also be a reason why a man would completely lose any interest in her welfare. sadly the child is the only one suffering in these matters, thanks to the stoopidity of the father AND mother.

steph7: OP the man you'll get married will be more of a father to your daugther than her real father. I have seen these things happen , in 1 case the new husband even adopt the child as his own and the father wasn't interested. Out of tatafo, pls what is the man's name

you know i can't say. its not fair to my daughter. let God judge him.

yes my fiance and his family have welcomed us with open arms - biology does not equal responsibility.

mr brown thanks for the insight.

You mean that the irresponsible man who has never given his daughter an iota of attention is [color=#00099]getting praised [/color]around in the forum, I guess it's for his fame & the amount of money in his pocket as some of us naijas worship and adore money.

We Nigerians appreciate children and it's hard to see a naija man not bothering about his children except some that don't appreciate female children. Jeez, I know a Naija woman that was abandoned with her four female children right there in the hospital when she had the fourth girl. She was simply told not to come home with all those girls she was bearing. She struggled like you and is givingthese girls the best education and upbringing now while the husband who remarried, lost almost all his wealth and his second wife to cancer while seeking cure for her. The abandoned woman is a serious business woman now and jets around the world doing business and chilling.

OP,

Am I the one?

dayokanu: OP,

Am I the one?

LMAO - I don't think so

cotton101: my duaghters father has no interest in her, doesn't ask after her or provide any form of support.

I am trying to understand the behaviour - he is a full Nigerian, it may be rare but he is Nigerian.

Are you sure he is the real father of the child or you tied him down with the pregnancy? No pun intended; just can't fathom out how a real father will do that to his own blood

how do you tie down a man with pregnancy when he is not interested. what kind of question is "is he the father" this is not jerry springer or maury - na wah for some questions.

I can't fathom it either thats why i started the topic - i've wanted to start it for months.

@ pOSTER....not that i really want to know who the person is, but i want to know who he is, if he is on this forum, ]only because it is high-time irresponsible men stopped giving advices on here, when their lives is like a scattred broken china-glass on the kitchen floor.

It is a big shame and inhumane, for a man not to care for his own child, irrespective of whatever the mother might have done. If you do not think that she is your daughter why don't you take a "paternity test" and save yourself from the woman nagging you to take care of your child, or step up to the plate and take care of your child.

You (who is the father of this child) have forgotten that she has a "God" watching over her innocent self and would fight for her. You are such an irresponsible man and to think that you would hold your balls high to say you are "a man".

Cotton..expose him here....let the whole world know...nonsense.

what post v v

^^^^ your post just made me laugh. ...i had this long frown on my face before now. BUT hope you are not the dad oooo?

@op. he wil come to his senses one day.

phraze: i wish i was so could ask where my wife and daughter is... Ok Ronkebp, please bend i can a person running towards u, no its me, and mmm, yea asshle u asked for these,... Pliz young man pliz... I wish op was here. Ok ok end of the film. Ronkebp i am not the father but would love to have a daughter who stops traffic. Pis!

Hun?!!!!

ronkebp:

Hun?!!!!

..y d hun??

ronkebp: @ pOSTER....not that i really want to know who the person is, but i want to know who he is, if he is on this forum, ]only because it is high-time irresponsible men stopped giving advices on here, when their lives is like a scattred broken china-glass on the kitchen floor.

It is a big shame and inhumane, for a man not to care for his own child, irrespective of whatever the mother might have done. If you do not think that she is your daughter why don't you take a "paternity test" and save yourself from the woman nagging you to take care of your child, or step up to the plate and take care of your child.

You (who is the father of this child) have forgotten that she has a "God" watching over her innocent self and would fight for her. You are such an irresponsible man and to think that you would hold your balls high to say you are "a man".

Cotton..expose him here....let the whole world know...nonsense.

seconded..
@op if you can post his identity here and everyone knows his real person,alot of nairalander can talk some serious sence into his skull,you never can tell,it could go a very long way in makin a diffrence,even if its just a little diff.....

Funny enough i realy wish to know this man id,would love to go tru his past topics and post.....

he is not on NL - the type of job he does has made him a topic of conversation on NL.

No disrespect but if his family can't get thru to him strangers will not. This used to bother me a lot but now I'm less fussed as I have moved on. I just wonder how someone wakes up and does this everyday, and I hope when he hears I have remarried he does not decide to show his face.

Thanks for all the comments at least i'm not the only one that thinks this behaviour if bad and strange. I kept the door wide open and went over and above to try and help him show interest but no one can force another human being to be responsible and act right.

cotton101: he is not on NL - the type of job he does has made him a topic of conversation on NL.

No disrespect but if his family can't get thru to him strangers will not. This used to bother me a lot but now I'm less fussed as I have moved on. I just wonder how someone wakes up and does this everyday, and I hope when he hears I have remarried he does not decide to show his face.

Thanks for all the comments at least i'm not the only one that thinks this behaviour if bad and strange. I kept the door wide open and went over and above to try and help him show interest but no one can force another human being to be responsible and act right.

You mean you also had a child for 2face Idibia?

Why do you want to force a child on someone that doesn't want her? Please don't damage that child. Protect her innocence and make sure she is very well taken care of and protected in this new marriage. Any thing that comes up in the future, listen to her even if it puts your husband to be in a bad light. I hope you are not settling down desperately to get back at the guy. Let your new husband be her real father for now. When the real father wants to know who she is he will come and look for her. People have so many different resons for the decisions they take. It may have been something he heard about you from a reliable source that made him turn against you and your child so badly. Am talking from what I have experienced with a close family friend. Just let him be and focus on your happiness.

dayokanu:

You mean you also had a child for 2face Idibia?

LMAO. Been hearing Tuface has one undisclosed baby mama with one Yetunde. I don't know how true that story is, but chei. Dayo na investigator. Anyway everyone is entitled to their privacy. So let's leave cotton alone. If it is Tuface, all these allegations by you on NL are very damaging. Chei.