cdamsel: am sure u missed d part where she said she wanted 2 start sometin or find a job?mtcheww

Lmao
Y are you angry? It seems you are the one looking for an house help.
If u ain't the one, y can't you just drop your own advice and leave instead of quoting me after the poster has answered d question.
Hmmm, i don't have ur time.

I am a male I will prefer female house girl than male lol

@poster. Your friend or yourself

At one point or another a woman (house wife or not)will need someone to assist her. I took care of my son for 3yrs before I allowed him start school. Now that I have another I need someone to help baby sit while I go about my duties at home and outside the house. I still stay at home my baby won't start school until 3 yrs old. Many of us who claim a woman doesn't need househelp have people who we can call on when we need them. No woman who is married and has at least a child will not wish from time to time that she has someone she can trust to handle the baby while she puts her feet up and catch her breathe.
Important thing is get someone you can depend on and don't be mean and don't over depend on them to do everything. . Be a responsible home manager.

If the new born baby is a girl, then the couple had better watch out !!! I know of a true life situation where a houseboy was sexually molesting three little girls from the same parents; this is not a made up story as their father confided about this sad incident to me

On the other hand, female househelps are prone to get unwanted pregnancy, not from the father of the house, and indulge in different activities that you cannot believe I remember once a friend told me that he does not feel happy heading home because the house-help, a young girl of 14 years with a fully developed body, was always making sexual gestures at him; though she does this behind his wife's back.

The friend above eventually had to send the house-girl packing and since then has vowed not to let any house-help into his house, which I believe is the best decision to take on this issue.

People keep harping on child molestation. How about madam job seeker I'm sure the husband has his reason for kicking against the male house help. 15 yrs old guy nor be small pikin again oooh!

farous: A friend of mine came to my house yesterday and told me that he had little misunderstanding with his wife.Cause-the wife is nursing some months old baby and has suggested that they look for a house help to enable her have time and assist in domestic works.The husband and the wife are from different tribes and the wife want to bring a boy of 14-15 years who is from her tribe and has just finished his primary education.The condition is that they will be paying the boy monthly salary,besides the wife is a house wife as she has not been working since they married.My friend objected it and said that he prefer a little girl to male as house help.He told me that he wont feel conformtable hiring a boy of that age,and leaving him in the house with the wife while he goes to work,even though the wife said that the coming of the house help will give her time to be going out to look for what she can start doing whether business or to start working than always staying in the house.Whats your advice pls?

Come to think of it, why don't you both go for an elderly mama to help with looking after the baby? Infact, that's problem solved, because:

~ Madam won't have to worry about oga being tempted to bed a woman old enough to be his mother, if not older sef

~ Oga won't have to worry about madam getting frisky with a male househelp, nor would he have to worry about his child getting molested by a male house help, esp. if the child is female

~ Both Oga and Madam won't have to worry about feeling guilty about child labour / abuse, nor worry about denying a young house help the option of schooling.

So this in my opinion seems to work both ways...

@OP,i would have loved to narrate a first hand experience in my house but i am busy right now,keeping a house help is a delicate issue like a gun powder waiting to explode.Though some are quite good because i had one that lived with my family for 2 years before she left,keeping a male house help is the most dangerous stunt you can pull be that as it may you have so much to take into consideration e.g. the molestation of your child,no doubt female house help also can molest your child.The underlying fact is you must keep watch on your children,properties and wife if you have a male house help,it is a fact,even though you may want to wish it off.I am no longer in for a house help be it a male or female.Had a female house help,my family experience with her would be a topic for another day.

A house keeper who is a married woman is a better option, comes in the morning and closes in the evening.

a house wife that is nt working with only one child is looking for house help? non sense

tpia@:
If the wife isnt working then why do they need a househelp?

Excellent question!

farous: @tpia
Somebody that will be assisting in domestic work and taking care of the baby,but more importantly for the wife to have time and start looking for what she will be doing,rather than staying idle in d house as house wife.

If the wife and the husband cannot take care of their own, then what is the point of pretending they are building a home? If you need someone to take care of the baby, then get it to daycare or something. Why a house help?

Personally, I am against this stupidity that is every where Nigeria. Encouraging more mediocrity in my opinion.

The best option is to employ a housekeeper/nanny who comes and goes daily. That way the mother is not stressed out. So many homes currently use this arrangement. another option would be getting trusted relatives, but are they easy to find? Besides who has that time again? Any little boy/girl you get to live with you in the name of househelp will always have issues if only for the fact that you aren't his/her father/mother.

tpia@:
If the wife isnt working then why do they need a househelp?

Well said..

tpia@:
If the wife isnt working then why do they need a househelp?

People that say things like this have never had to deal with a new born, do housework and still try to make some money. I'm sure she doesn't want to be a house wife and from the post she wants to get out and do stuff. Tell your friend that she wants to get a guy because she doesn't trust that HE wont fcku a girl if she brings one in.

The man knew his wife is an idle woman and can also become a devil's workshop at anytime. Mind u that a 15yr old guy is old enough to enter a woman's oyel well and being an idle woman will even make it happen quick.

@Post

Your friend and his wife should hire an older female day househelp. Someone who comes in the morning and leaves in the evening. I will not suggest young female househelps because most Nigerian bred men lack self control and there are too many cases of househelps getting pregnant for their male employers. I will not suggest a male housekeeper either because they will at some point molest the female children and probably male children too if he is gay. We must remember that Nigerian society is crawling with pedophiles. By the way OP, where is your friend's wife's mother or mother in-law? Can't they help? I guess not. Maybe they're working. Oh well.

everybody has spoken and i will speak.am actually suspecting that your friend for suggesting to the wife to bring a female house help,he must be up to something or is he the one that would be paying the person.any way,the wife's idea in bringing a male is only wrong when they have a female child at home be it 0 month old,i mean female child at all then they should shove that idea of the male house help and look for a female house girl whether young or old female house help like some people suggested,a pig will remain a pig.is just that some men are idiots in human form.

farous: @tpia
Somebody that will be assisting in domestic work and taking care of the baby,but more importantly for the wife to have time and start looking for what she will be doing,rather than staying idle in d house as house wife.

...and will you entrust your 'some months' old baby to the care of a 14 year old male while your wife is away 'looking for what she will be doing..' and you sitting comfortably at the office?

A 14 year old female have more motherly instincts, more apt and judgement to care to care for the baby than a male of the same age. If she is 'staying idle in d house' it further means that, there is no much work at home that will need a house help.

It appear that your objection to this whole arrangement is from a concern of what might happen between your wife and the male house help while you are away, but I am seeing it as a risk and endangerment to the 'some months' old baby to leave him/her with a 14 year male who just arrived from the village.

sucezTP:

The exact question i've got on my mind!

Ditto

tpia@:


if the baby is still young, then she should be able to do most of the housework herself.

is it actually safer to entrust your baby to a househelp?

well, if she's trying to get back in the job market quickly then i guess she might feel she needs one, if she cant get a relative (her mum, etc) to come over.

. I will advice any1 who has nt experienced d stress of babysitting 2 stop asking d stupid question, y does she need a help?

Like others have suggested: get an older woman or take the child to a daycare.

My mum worked and had 4 kids. No househelp or relatives. We went to daycare, and I'll like to say we turned out alright.

We did have help on Saturday mornings to do the laundry, etc when we were little and my mum made us do it with them lol.

Op, get your friend to read this thread.

Daresh:

People that say things like this have never had to deal with a new born, do housework and still try to make some money. I'm sure she doesn't want to be a house wife and from the post she wants to get out and do stuff. Tell your friend that she wants to get a guy because she doesn't trust that HE wont fcku a girl if she brings one in.

really - i wonder how i did it and still do it until now with a full time job, i know countless women doing it without using child labour.

poster get a live out nanny/cleaner - there is no need keeping someone elses child in ur home to be a slave.

drzed:

I agree completely. I am against using people's children to do household chores WITHOUT educating them. Thats like killing their future today. For me, I will not only send them to school, I will still pay them. In terms of Age, I would advise one to get a boy/girl that is just a few years older than the kids so that he/she acts like (and is treated like) an elder brother/sister and not just a hired hand. Getting a hired hand (boy/girl) to do chores for you without investing in their future, is just child labour and child trafficking, IMHO.

@OP: Sometimes, the best compromise is to get a relative from the 'village' - that is for those who may cringe at the thought of paying school fees for a total stranger. At least sponsoring your own relative who helps daily in caring for your kids and doing household chores should be seen as a fair deal. A win-win situation.

I completely agree i personally believe it is wicked to use other people's kids without investing in their future.Most times the money they are paid hardly get to the children. The agent collects the bulk.Imagine some people paying as low as N3,000 per month how much will the child recieve?

Why do we like to expliot and use people? All of us who shout "we want to help" will you let your 14 year old be a house help? Anyway I can't entrust my child to a minor.
Hire an Elderly woman or widow who comes and goes. A house wife should not need a 24 hour 14 year old slave

Hope your kid is not a she? cos she'll probably get abused by dat 15yr old. And abused little girls never really outgrow the effects...FYI

swtchicgurl: for the sexual security of both, a male 14yr old house-help is better than a female of the same age, in terms of maturity.

hope what they really want is a paid -nanny. Are u supporting child labour?

mavinc4u: everybody has spoken and i will speak.am actually suspecting that your friend for suggesting to the wife to bring a female house help,he must be up to something or is he the one that would be paying the person.any way,the wife's idea in bringing a male is only wrong when they have a female child at home be it 0 month old,i mean female child at all then they should shove that idea of the male house help and look for a female house girl whether young or old female house help like some people suggested,a pig will remain a pig.is just that some men are idiots in human form.

hw abt some women bn s..ex addicts or some that prefer young handsome guys. Dnt u think d man also hv issues with trusting his wife. A male house help can stil service d idle house wife

i hope the 'houseboy' doesn't begin helping madam on the bed too?

[size=13pt]Every one who hires a child to do house work encourages Child Labor . . . I don't care if you are telling yourself that you are helping that child by sending him or her to school. If you really wanted to help, you would give the child that help WITHOUT demanding Labor in exchange for your help. [/size]

Don't take a boy. Your child will be made to give him Mouth Action regularly. Pls don't even leave baby alone with a nanny if you can help it, take them both to the shop. Unless you are doing government work.