My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! - Travel (4) - Nairaland
Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Travel / My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! (19301 Views)
Please Advise A Brother / Suffering Continues On Abuja-Keffi Road / Help! My Sister And Her Husband Want To Remain As Illegal Immigrants In Uk (2) (3) (4)
(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (Reply) (Go Down)
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by endoweddiva(f): 7:35pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
NIKKnJAZZ: dis your comment get k leg sha, so someone houses you and feeds you in the UK (esp in London) where rent and bills are rediculously expensive sometimes, and looking after their kids when the 'sister' can, becomes been treated as a slave?   , na wa ohhh  |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by vislabraye(m): 8:33pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
May be your aunt/uncle is passing through financial difficulties. Or perhaps,your uncle's wife (or aunt's husband ) is not happy with the arrangement for several reasons. People do change. They may promise you heaven and earth and then when the time comes, story changes. Your sister should plead with them and endure the work. It's not usually easy to take care of another person's child. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by 677ano(m): 8:54pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
@OP There are issues here with your story that does not add up. the whole episode has not been told by you or your sister. Your uncles and aunt were kind enough to finance her education the least all your sister could have done is reciprocated the gesture. As a student she is allowed 20hours of work a week in the UK during school sessions and 30 hours during hoilidays so how come she did not work? Before jumping to conclussions have you heard the other side of the story from you uncle and aunt? A student should know what is expected of her in school so how come she failed to submit the hard copies? your sister has failed on her own part towards completing her course module. If you or your sister sincerely believe she is being victimized then ask for a judicial review through the right academic/government procedure. Again I asked you to question your sister as she has not told you the whole truth rather she has given you a scenario to make her look the victim. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by aribisala0(m): 9:01pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
NIKKnJAZZ: Hm na wa oh. Nothing in life is free. Anyway I think the word slave is an exaggeration as clearly there is CHOICE. It is only rich peoples kids that don't do housework. Even in one's father's house you must help out.In the UK education was free for citizens until recently except in Scotland where it still is. Most kids will go through University by getting a loan. Typically It costs up to £10000 a year to go to Uni for fees alone and London university is very expensive. Now few people earn over £30000 a year so paying for University out of daddy's pocket is just not an option and anyone who does that for their own child talk less a relative should be praised. VERY FEW PARENTS pay for university education .That was why we had the riots in London 2 years ago. It is not beans. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by cbaba: 9:04pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
Sorry to say this but it seems to me,from your story,that your sister was not treated differently.She came late to class alone and the rules are simple,dont come late or you walk out,maybe ur sister now put up an attitude(attitude she got from bad 24 hr nannying or annoyance) and the prof took her out of the roster,she has that right u know. We need to hear from the prof ,ur uncle/aunt and maybe classmates. If you are reading for a higher degree course u are tested in a million ways AND READING INSTRUCTIONS ON SUBMISSIONS IS INCLUSIVE. I feel bad that a party is unhappy but thats life. PS: u said she wudnt pick ur calls cos she was reading,HOW did u know that? How do u know she wasnt doing other stuff,If she told u all these updates,guy ur sister wasnt probably paying attention to her studies. Thats my own o.Kill me for the constructive criticism but am overjoyed RVP came 'home'...lol |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by IgboGirl(f): 9:10pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
deshclones: O boy your story dey somehow....comeooo...must she school abroad?what about all the good federal unis in naija??...nawaoh..methinks its better to be a lion in the jungle than a dog in the city....let her kuku take the 3.1 result or repeat the year....thats the kind of stuff ones sees in a foreign land...kpele What good federal unis in naija? Is it the ones that are losing their accreditations? Or the ones that strike every month making students to spend 10+ years in school? Please do tell what school in Nigeria lets you go in for a 4yr program and you graduate within 4yrs. The medical schools are nothing to write home about. Those that haven't lost their accreditation do not have the basic technology to train outstanding medical doctors. OP's sister may be suffering but her situation is still better than situation of students in Nigeria who can only pass a course if they willingly bribe their lecturers that's also after wasting 10 years of their lives in school (thanks to ASUU strike) for a 5yr program. 1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Tolaaaaannni(f): 9:20pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
My heart really goes out to your sister, but she should have just applied for an international student loan or apply for a scholarship and see if she will get it.yes, Some American professors are just plain EVIL! I too had to learn this in a hard way, that's why lower level students ask upper level students which professors is easy and which professor is just down right cruel! And I really think she should write the letter of appeal, It wouldn't hurt to try. I hope everything would be alright with her, abroad can be very difficult. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Man51ut(m): 9:23pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
Only on nairaland will someone come and say that Nigerian Universities are better than UK ones. I've spent the last six months with Nigerian graduates, and I'm not saying the ones from abroad are better oh, but at least they can string a sentence together. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Olaone1: 9:23pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
I am 100% sure that your sister is lying |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Olaone1: 9:26pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
@busybody Moreover, what did she attach her "coversheet" to, if she did not submit the hard copy!!! Possible. You can attach it to the electronic copy. You have to print the coversheet electronically, anyway. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Olaone1: 9:31pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
Tolaaaaannni: My heart really goes out to your sister, but she should have just applied for an international student loan or apply for a scholarship and see if she will get it.yes, Some American professors are just plain EVIL! I too had to learn this in a hard way, that's why lower level students ask upper level students which professors is easy and which professor is just down right cruel! And I really think she should write the letter of appeal, It wouldn't hurt to try. I hope everything would be alright with her, abroad can be very difficult. Forget about the phantom 'evil' professor. And, his sister had to be grossly negligent in not submitting the hardcopy in a course taught by the same 'evil' prof? Come on, guys. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Tolaaaaannni(f): 9:38pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
Ola one:Yeah i know what you mean, she should have read the syllabus. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Olaone1: 9:43pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
I think she failed her dissertation. And, the uni authorities intend to be magnanimous by giving her a 3rd (just saying). Or, she applied for extenuating circumstances but couldn't get the desired outcome. Just saying |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by fenandopo: 9:50pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
My guy, I pity your sister’s situation. However, it’s a small issue that can easily be solved. Those of us wey don live yand b4 see am as pikin issue. 1.) my sister's student visa is expiring in November I think your sis is in a better position to extend her visa, by getting a confirmation letter from her school, stating that she is yet to finish her course (let her make sure she somehow dictates to the admin or her department officer what they are to write in that letter ). (use to know a guy back in the days who was doing a full time masters course; which was to run a year, but he ended up taking three years. Not because he was failing, but because he wanted to spend enough time in uk to regularize his stay. He did all his courses within 1 year, and when it was time to submit his final essay, he decided to come up with one flippant reason or the other as to why he cant finish on time. One was that his girlfriend mistakenly got pregnant and lost the baby which caused him a lot of trauma and lack of concerntration…and he was in good terms with the admin officers). 2.) my uncle and aunty have withdrawn all financial support from her and will certainly not be ready to pay for an additional term Let her look for other means to supplement her fees. And by the way, she will not pay the full amount, as she has just an essay to write; she needs not even attend class…I think o!! not so sure. But she cant pay the full amount for sure, as its just one essay. 3.) If she takes one module, she'll be considered a part-time student and thus ineligible for a visa Well, she should not mention in the aforementioned letter to the visa office that she will take just one class. She should just give them a letter from her school stating that she needs more time to finish/wrap up her course(you now see the reason why I said earlier that she should dictate the letter from the school?? The way my guy did it was amazing!!!) 4.) )she's barely managing to feed right now talk less of paying visa application and tuition fees let her go get a job na. even cleaning ladies earn a lot….. 5.) Finally, let her forget about the lady in the international student office…..those ones can be envious of “these foreigners having it easy” syndrome. Let her get that letter from the department head, directly….let it be official o!! with stamps and seal of the school. 6.) Better still let her beg that Ameericaner well well na!! O, how I wish I was still in the UK, would have guided her. I mean, take her to her school and shout at them a little. What these londoners/uk peeps fear is an assertive and educated foreigner. Trust me….i know them |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Olaone1: 9:53pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
Tolaaaaannni: It is compulsory to submit hard copies in almost all courses. So, why this absurd absent-mindedness in a course taught by this sadistic prof? |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Elaineh: 10:16pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
Nawao...see heavy, heavy insults upon injury. Chai! In fact, I weak. To the understanding and compassionate ones among you and all those who have given constructive advice, thanks and god bless. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by vislabraye(m): 11:56pm On Aug 16, 2012 |
Elaineh: Nawao...see heavy, heavy insults upon injury. Chai! In fact, I weak. To the understanding and compassionate ones among you and all those who have given constructive advice, thanks and god bless. This is nairaland what do you expect? The lady just has to endure. If she can come out with a good grade, she'll sell like hot cake. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Necsy: 12:25am On Aug 17, 2012 |
obowunmi: Collect third class and move on. She shouldn't waste anymore time in the school.ummm! I agree wit u bro. After all, wat is d probability dt she wil nt b treated badly evn more dan ha presnt predicamnt? D lrd is ur strength |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Busybody2(f): 12:36am On Aug 17, 2012 |
I see someone wants to go down memory lane with me. Okay. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by Theblessed(f): 12:46am On Aug 17, 2012 |
[quote author=Elaineh]My nairalanders, Please, I need some advice from you yet again. My sister is in a very difficult predicament in London and I don't know how to help her out of this wahala...any constructive and actionable advice will be greatly appreciated. A little bit of background: My elder sister has been studying for a Bachelor's in the public health field at a university in London for the past 3 years. These 3 years have been exceedingly difficult for her. Our uncle and aunty pledged to support her financially through the program but every semester when the time would come to pay school fees, come and see fight and struggle. The girl had to beg and plead with them and do all manner of things to get them to pay up. Worse, because they were paying her fees, they took it as an excuse to convert her into a 24-hr nanny, maltreat her, etc. This semester she had a very stubborn American professor who made her life and those of some of her classmates very difficult (she had favorites). One day she threw my sister out of class on test day because she walked in a few minutes late (through no fault of her own) and eventually removed my sister from her module's roster. She maltreated so many students that a group of them lodged a formal complaint against her. Under pressure, the woman evenutually re-enrolled my sister in the course. Fast forward a few months. My sister had pretty much completed all the coursework for her degree and was on track to finish with a second class upper. All that was remaining was for her to submit one essay to this American professor. My sister slaved away at this essay for a solid two weeks - she wasn't picking me or my mother's calls because she was so focused, she wanted to finish well. She then submitted the essay only to find out a week later that the essay was not graded and she did not receive a mark for the module.She spoke to the professor and the reason she gave was that the essay was supposed to be submitted electronically AND in hard-copy - my sister had only submitted it electronically. My sister had missed the portion of the syllabus that read that it had to be submitted in hard-copy as well, an innocent and honest mistake. The woman has refused to mark the course point-blank and the university is now insisting that my sister resit that entire module next term (beginning February). The problem? 1) my sister's student visa is expiring in November, 2)my uncle and aunty have withdrawn all financial support from her and will certainly not be ready to pay for an additional term, 3)if she takes one module, she'll be considered a part-time student and thus ineligible for a visa, 4)she's barely managing to feed right now talk less of paying visa application and tuition fees. The school has offered to give her a basic degree, as in 3rd class, but my sister refused because it's an insult - if you know what she has been through these past few years?! It's a miracle that she stayed in school talk less of getting a 2:1. She spoke to a lady at the international student office and the lady said that she cannot help her because the directions for essay submission were very clear. What's more, she said that if my sister appeals the decision, she will have no choice but to bring evidence against her. Me, I think the American professor has a personal vendetta against my sister for reporting her. She picked my sister as the scapegoat becaause she was the only one in the group (that complained) who is not a British national. They are playing with my sister's life and future and it's simply not fair!     Can anyone please advise us here? Justwise? Anyone? Who can we talk to or appeal to? Is there any room for legal recourse? These people have chopped 3 years of my sister's tuition money - they can't do this to her now! [b][size=16pt]This is a lesson for every family member in the world to learn. The Scripture warned us in Jeremiah Chpt. 9 v 4-6, and again, 12 v. 6 and said,"Beware of your friends, do not trust your brothers. For every brother is a deceiver...". If you can not trust your own brothers, how then could you trust your own Uncle/Auntie let alone someone outside the family. People don't understand, in the West there's no such thing as family - stresses of life here can make the family lock their heart and throw away the key so, you're better off living on your own if you can afford it or with a stranger than family member. And how about, when you succeed in your mission? The same family members would say, without them you wouldn't have rotten in the street of London and wouldn't have made it - and I say, really? You see, what's destined, is destined and whom God has blessed, who can curse?  So, that's family for you! You see we don't know the full story - there are 2 sides to every story and we've only just heard one side - yours! Thus, we don't know what the agreement/contract if any, your sister and your Uncle/Auntie reached at the beginning of all this however, with due respect, I am not really happy with your Uncle/Auntie's behaviours towards your sister. Everyone knows, most people struggle with a lot of things when they first arrived - a new country, a new culture and for a student, a new but different educational system/experience and now, what about the British weather etc However, I would only forgive them, causing all these hassle for her if both were illiterates and would not understand/fully appreciate the value of education especially to that level. I'm sure they are educated themselves hence I ask, why this lack of understanding from them both? Perhaps, we could blame it on your sisters behaviour towards them and not showing appreciation of the amount of money they had to pay, each semester? Sure, they understand the level of commitment - time, efforts etc one need to put in their studies here in the UK - this is not Nigeria or America - this is Britain! You do it yourself and be seen doing it - that is why, the qualification is an International Passport, it is respected all over the world. And, what are we talking about here? a) the Essays b) the Presentations c)the Exams d) the Attendances (at least 80% during my time!), the practice, plus your small, small contributions in class discussions/lectures, team work etc perhaps, your sisters attendance and performance in all these were inadequate for the American Professor thus, she blew her top. Remember, for her to be a Professor, she knew her trade very well and expect the same for her students because, it was not handed over to her easily therefore, she is not going to let them get that degree through the back door and without trying and be seen, trying! Most lecturers don't tolerate lateness to their classes. Baby seating and doing other things to support your Uncle/Auntie as they are supporting her too, may have contributed a lot to her lateness to lectures and practice hence, the threats of bringing evidence against her if she pushes the button again.  Don't be surprise, they have a lot on her which she doesn't know, trust me! My advice to students who find themselves in this situation, and have difficult lecturers to contend with is, try your best to be friendly with your lecturers, try to find out if he/she can take e.g. jokes - it does help. At Christmas, send them Electronic Christmas/birthday cards - it doesn't cost money! If all these fails and you find yourself late to their lectures, in order to avoid embarrassment - don't bother coming in else, you'd be thrown out of lecture hall and evidence could mount against you - just ring in to say, you're sick and then go to your GP the next day, and get a Sick Note to cover yourself (if necessary) but I ask, how many times would you do this, before you're found out?  And for your anger against the American lecturer, please, don't blame her, she has her own workload to manage and would not be responsible ensuring your sister manages her time well. Everyone knows, the West is full of stress and anxiety - Africans and certainly, Nigerians are not prepared for the level of stress they are going to encounter when they come here because, when compared with our country the stress level is minimal. I am not saying your sister could not manage her time rather 'how consistent?'. Your education is being monitored from the moment you first answered present in lectures, until they give you that their Hood - this is to ensure that, education actually went through you (touching every fabrics of the cells in your body)instead of your floating through education - as we do in Nigeria. And now, for the legalities - Because, your sister is a student and had no money, I suggest your sister check with the Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB) with regards to her Visa Expiration/Extension to cover her resubmission in February or so... and circumstances surrounding it. Also, try to find out from them if she has a case against the University (don't think so... but worth trying, you never know as the laws changes quickly here) also, to research about Legal Aid, and Solicitors that offer the scheme. Finally, if CAB says you have a case, they usually point you to the appropriate Solicitors you can access failing that, try and put all your case/paper work together and contact the following: The FRU in London (i.e. the free representation unit)and here's their address. Please, Google their website and find out more. Free representation unit, 6th floor, 289 - 293 High Holborn, London WVCV 7HZ You need to download their form from their website, write a very good article on your situation and tell them you are a foreign student and, have no money and need free representation (that is, if shove comes to push!!!). The FRU is for Solicitors and Trainee Solicitors - so, atimes the trainee Solicitor will want some practice and do your case for free. Sorry to hear about your difficulty and Good Luck! [/size][/b] 1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by moneyquest: 3:58am On Aug 17, 2012 |
Busy_body: Oh my bad, I thought I was talking to a normal person. Please I am so sorry, forgive me, I didn’t actually look at the username because where I come from, mad people are mostly referred to as busy bodies as they are amazingly busy 24/7 doing/saying absolutely nothing! 1 Like |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by princeonx: 4:16am On Aug 17, 2012 |
NIKKnJAZZ: Few posters have giving you your answers but just FYI live abroad is not what people like you think it is! it also have it own good, bad, and ugly side and if you can't handle it, then you're better off hawking in naija like you claim you preffer. Do you know that some American pay their parents to babysit? some pay their aunt, cousin, and relatives to babysit? why must every single thing be free for some of you? A nigerian will braid your hair and you expect it to be free while you pay others that might not even do a good job $150 or more! some of you jump in a Nigerian guys cab and expect a free ride forgetting that that is his means of income. The poster didn't mention any where in her post that her sister is being forced to do anything or does house maid job. If her stay in that house was that bad, trust me she won't be there for 3 months not to talk of 3yrs. Any way, to his/her and their own oppinion. As far as am concern, paying someone's tuition especially as an international student which in some cases is 3 times the regular school fees and having a roof over them in US/UK is no joke. 2 Likes |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by oladcity(m): 7:10am On Aug 17, 2012 |
Ask your sister to pray. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by aruzuoke(m): 7:24am On Aug 17, 2012 |
Brother just take it up to the alter of God in faith and u will be suprised how fast he will answer tyou. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by ochiaha1(m): 2:36pm On Aug 17, 2012 |
Richy.: @Richy, yes, I am currently in Nigeria. I am talking from the point of view of someone who has a Cousin who was offered admission to a University in Australia. Due to non-available of funds for tuition, the cousin was asked to pay the tuition fees for one academic session, after which the University sent a letter to the Australian High Commission in Nigeria and the said Cousin was granted a Student Visa. The Cousin is presently in his third year of study because the University found a part-time Job for him through which he is able to pay his tuition. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by ochiaha1(m): 2:42pm On Aug 17, 2012 |
edakedkay: ignorance is really a disease. How much part-time work, as an international student would she have done to pay a whooping 3 sch years fees that ran into thousands of pounds, pay her accommodation, transportation and take care of other basic necessities? Coupled with the new law on int'l students not working at all, how much can she raise to pay the next sch yr's fee. Even while working on your dissertation,you're not allowed to work full-time as it's considered as a 3rd term for you. So what are you telling us? Rather than spewing rubbish from your gob, why not shut it up and save yourself the embarrassment of the world knowing your exalted level of ignorance? You strike me as a guy who is currently studying in one of those one-room Universities they have abroad which cannot pass for a sub-standard secondary school here in Nigeria  [The level of your intellectual, or lack of it, discussion shows you cannot articulate your point without being abusive to the other party that you are trying to put your point across to. Where are you studying right now? Afghanistan No wonder you sound so much like a Taliban. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by edakedkay: 6:30pm On Aug 17, 2012 |
@Ochi-aha, you must be reeetarded right from the very moment you had your first breath cos your thinking faculty is under utilised. Imagine,OP was talking about london,UK and there you are referring to Australia. these two nations don't even share the same continent. Even my 2 yr old boy knows that australia is a continent of its own and UK is in europe. How stupid can you get, huh? If you truly follow my replies to posts as you claim,you'll be wise enough to know that i'm female. Here's my final submission about the character you call yourself: 'you're an irredeemable,pathetic sorry arsed fool'. And FYI, I hold a Masters degree from Imperial College, London, United Kingdom. Was offered a grant for my doctorals but i turned it down. Do you get me now numbskull? an assignment for you: make use of your google and check out imperial college and hey, dont forget to also check it's ranking. ode! |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by InHimItrust: 1:22am On Aug 18, 2012 |
[quote author=cyril83]A word "sister" appeared 16 times in this ur touching story...does she "sister" not have working permit? Besides I guess ur sis dint tell u d whole story...a lot is missin in dat story[/qu In reply to you, I told the whole story. The worst part of this situation I'm in is that we use to submit hard-copy and electronic copy. However, in our final year last semester the university changed the rule on submission to electronic submission only. The lecturer decided to make her own rule by asking for a hard copy as well as electronic copy. Unfortunately, I relied on the new rule and missed her instruction. I'm being asked to come back and retake the entire module. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by InHimItrust: 1:43am On Aug 18, 2012 |
[b][/b] Ola one: I think she failed her dissertation. And, the uni authorities intend to be magnanimous by giving her a 3rd (just saying). Or, she applied for extenuating circumstances but couldn't get the desired outcome. [font=Lucida Sans Unicode][/font]I[color=#990000][/color]I'M THE SISTER IN QUESTION! IT MAY SURPRISE YOU TO KNOW THAT I MADE 70% IN MY DISSERTATION. |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by InHimItrust: 1:52am On Aug 18, 2012 |
Ola one: I'm the sister in question! My sister didn't tell you the whole story. My university changed the the submission rule to electronic copy only in my final year. We had always submitted hard copy and electronic copy until the new rule was established.I relied on the new rule and missed the lecturer's personal request for a hard copy submission |
| Re: My Sister Is Suffering In London - Please Advise! by InHimItrust: 2:09am On Aug 18, 2012 |
677ano: @OP I'm the sister in question! please don't jump into conclusions as you don't know anything about my situation. I looked after my auntie's two children right from birth for five years or even more. I cooked three square meals for her entire family everyday!I would go to bed early hours of every morning due to house chores. looking after her, her husband, kids and house was my job for many years! So please, don't judge me. In regards to my university, the assessment submission rule was changed in my final year to electronic submission only. I relied on the new rule and missed the lecturer's personal request! don't you think any one could have made the same mistake due to the new change? |
Diesel Tanker On Fire In Victoria Island, Lagos (Photos) / Few Nigerians Work As Cabin-Crew On International Airlines? / Reasons Lagos Will Remain King And What Other States Should Do To Dethrone It
(Go Up)
| Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 165 |