A certain Yoruba man always goes to eat Rice and stew in a restaurant.

One day, when he went to eat @ the restaurant they said " Stew neva done yet",
the man said no problem, just bring the ordinary rice for me.

So he ate d ordinary rice.

Immediately he finished eating, they said the stew is done.

The man said, "bring the stew wey una suppose put 4 ma rice" so they gave him the stew.

The guy drank the stew.

All of sudden, the guy start tumbling and scattering the whole place.

He use his body 2 hit the ground several times.

People managed to hold him down and ask him what was wrong.

The guy said " I dey mix the rice and stew wey dey inside my belle".

FACEBOOK Addict

Dad: "Son, the house is on fire! Run!"

Son: "Oh no! Ok let me just quickly upload a picture of it on Facebook!"

Dad: "Ok, tag me!"

well still funny though it had been posted here before

dopeJemi: FACEBOOK Addict

Dad: "Son, the house is on fire! Run!"

Son: "Oh no! Ok let me just quickly upload a picture of it on Facebook!"

Dad: "Ok, tag me!"

Chemistry is Complicated! (Read and find out, how?)

Akpors and Ambali's conversation in bathroom during test!

Akpors: You gotta help me!

Ambali: I am just here for sometime. I can't help during test!

Akpors: Please dude, I'm gonna fail.

Ambali: Okay be quick, ask me?

Akpors: What's the abbreviation for Nobelium?

Ambali: NO.

Akpors: But you said you will tell me.

Ambali: NO!

Akpors: Ok leave it, tell me what's Sodium?

Ambali: Na.

Akpors: Damn! Atleast tell me of Potassium?

Ambali: Hmm, K.

Akpors: What's Okay?

Ambali: Just K?

Akpors: What's just OK?

Ambali: You mean OK2?

Akpors: What's OK too?

Ambali: Potassium Oxide!

Akpors: Oxide?

Ambali: O.

Akpors: Oh! What?

Ambali: Oxygen!

Akpors: Damn! not Oxygen, I asked for Potassium?

Ambali: K.

Akpors: NO.

Ambali: Nobelium.

Akpors: Nobelium?

Ambali: NO.

Akpors: Just give me the bonus question's answer!
What's Element166 ?

Ambali: Uhh.

Akpors: Yeah, go on!

Ambali: UHH

Akpors: UHH?

Ambali: Exactly!

Akpors: NO WHAT IS IT?

Ambali: Nobelium!

Akpors: Damn! for God sake, Atleast tell me for URANIUM?

Ambali: That's U !

Akpors: I know that's up to me, but I'm asking your help!

Ambali: U !

Akpors: NO YOU !!!

Ambali: Nobelium. Uranium

bunmioguns: well still funny though it had been posted here before

which 1

A woman went to see her doctor with her husband accompanying her.

She was thin, tired and exausted.

The doctor ask her, woman, why are u like this, I expected to see a good result from your body but am seeing another thing, what happened?

HUSBAND: Doctor ask her..ooo, I don’t know for her.

WOMAN: Doctor am tired of this.

DOCTOR: What do u mean by that?

WOMAN: I said is too much for me, can you reduce the number for me.

Doctor: But tell me, are u taking prescription as I instructed u?

WOMAN: Yes doctor and I never miss it once, three men always help me for that, my husband, our house-boy and my husband’s friend.

DOCTOR: 3 meals a day?

WOMAN: Aahhh Sorry Doctor... I thought you said 3 males a day.

HUSBAND: YEPAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

Grandma and grandpa were watching a Healing Service on the TV.

The pastor tells them to put one hand on the TV and one hand on the body that needs healing.

Grandma slowly puts one hand on the TV and the other on her arthritic shoulder.

Grandpa gets up and puts one hand on the TV and the other on his private part.

She look at him and says "Dear, you not getting it, the purpose is to heal the sick not to RAISE THE DEAD!

dopeJemi: which 1

never mind....it was the first joke anyway....kip them coming, am really enjoying it

Lecturer: What do you understand by definitive deficit equity?

Akpors: lambata ighotobore amarakata.

Lecturer: I don’t understand you

Akpors: Same here..........hmmmmmmm

Teacher - "We are the descendants of Adam and Eve."

Warri boy - "...Excuse me sir, but my dad says we are the decendants of ape."

Teacher - "We are not talking about ur family here"

Some soldiers arrested Mr. Akpors for an offence and asked him to carry 1,000 blocks that were kept there to the other side of the road as his punishment.

Akpors had moved over 900 blocks when he saw the soldiers' boss (Gen. Okon) and quickly recognized him as an old classmate.

He called the General and briefly explained everything to him.

Gen. Okon was mad and shouted at the soldiers, "this man is ma friend!!! You shouldn't have punished him like that!!!".

Gen. Okon then apologized to Mr. Akpors and said, "Oya, return all the blocks and go".

Amongst this girls mentioned below, who lie pass?

1. Sylvia says....Waiter..., pls I like my SALAD very hot, also, can I have 2 bottles of SHAWARMA?

2. Cathrina says.....Ore mi give me your PIN, lemme call you.

3. Mabel says.... I'm so tired, I just made my hair in shop-rite.

4. Rejoice replies......Reall...y?? I want 2 spend my summer in London, this xmas period.

5. Cynthia explains.......I Just bought my BB, but I haven't collected the PIN.

6. Bose brags......When I'm flying (Airplane), I always like the window seat, cos I open it for fresh air.

7. Fatima says...... I prefer London to UK during winter.

8. Titi says.......Hmmm, you can't even imagine, I just bought a g-string, and the thing I like most about it is the back pocket.

9. Bukola orders.... Pls, if you don't have meat pie, doughnuts or scotch egg, just give me snacks.

10 Toyin laments.....in our house eh, we use to have 3 pools, until armed robbers stole them .

LMAO!

A famous inspirational speaker said:

"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife."

Audience was in shock and silence.

He added: "She was my mother"

(A big round of applause & laughter)

Akpors tried to crack this at home.

After dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:

"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"

Standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker.

By the time he gained his senses, he was on a hospital bed, recovering from burns of boiling water

You really got me laffing! well done!!

Valiantvaliant: You really got me laffing! well done!!

fanx mah man