A man and his wife were visiting a family friend with a public transport. He gave money to one beggar inside a bus, and by the time they got to the next bus stop his "THING" disappeared.

The man shouted my "THING" is lost o and the people inside the bus ordered the driver to stop and the driver stopped.

The man told everybody what happened and they started beating the beggar. After receiving a hot beating, the beggar said let me fix his "THING" back.

The beggar brought out a small bag containing other peoples "THINGS" he had collected, opened it and poured them on the ground. The man shouted see my "THING".

As the man was about picking his THING, his wife shouted, "my friend drop that "THING" and collect that big one. Don't you know I have been managing That small "THING" since, Nonsense!!


Read more: http://www.theinfostrides.com/index.php?topic=84183.0#ixzz25ORJRgCc

A man had 2 sons, Ambali and Akpors who sat for an examination.

When the result came out, their father called both of them to ask them some questions:

Father: Ambali, come here, good you did very well in your exams, you got A's in chains.

Ambali: Yes daddy, I want to study in America that's why I got A's.

Father: ... and you Akpors, can you explain why you got F's in chains?

Akpors: Papa because I want to study in France.

Akpors went to visit his girlfriend -Ekaitte and decided tossing a love song to her.

{"You are my African queen... the girl of my dream..."} by TUFACE!

When he was singing, tears began to roll down Ekaitte's eyes.

Akpors said;

"Eyaah! Ekaitte baby, I no know say u love me like this o! Wow! My belle dey sweet me."

Ekaitte replied;

"No be you or your song dey make me cry o! Na the odour from your mouth dey pepper my ey

U try sha

A businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend the afternoon with her for N50k.

They did their thing, and, before he left, he told her that he did not have any cash with him, but will send a cheque through his secretary, enclosed in an envelop tagged,

"RENT FOR APARTMENT."

On the way to the office he regretted what he had done, realizing that the whole event had not been worth the price.

So, he sent his secretary with a check for N25k and enclose the following typed note:

"Dear Madam:

Enclosed find check in the amount of N25k for rent of your apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon, because when I rented the place, I was under the impression that:

#1 - it had never been occupied;
#2 - there was plenty of heat; and
#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cozy and at home.

However, I found out that it had been previously occupied, that there wasn't any heat, and that it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately returned the check for N25k with the following note :

"Dear Sir:

First of all, I cannot understand how you could expect a beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely. As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you know how to turn it on. Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of regular size, but if you don't have enough furniture to fill it, please do not blame the management.
Please send the rent in full or we will be forced to contact your present landlady."

asdf:jkl ha ha :
U try sha

fanx a milli

Dr. Akpors and Ekaite discusing in an hospital

Ekaite: Doctor, my menstrual flow is having a brownish color. Is it an infection?

Dr Akpors: How many times do you have s*x?

Ekaite: At least, twice a year.

Dr Akpors: It is not infection, it is RUST

Teacher to Alaba"; will you slap your father for N10 million?

Alaba: my father will slap me for not Slapping him Fast. Hehehe....

Teacher: Give any type of lines you know.

Ambali: Vertical line

Teacher: Very good. another line.

Ambali: Horizontal line

Teacher: Impressive... Who will tell us any other one.

Akpors at the back shouted: Me Sir..Sir!

Teacher: Ok Akpors tell us.

Akpors: Caroline

Akpors was toasting a girl.

After everything the girl asked him,

"are you in school and what course are you studying coz I can't date an illiterate?"

Akpors lied to her and said,

"yes am in school and am studying food science"

Two weeks later, the girl saw Akpors washing plates in a local
restaurant.

*Shocked*

"Gosh what are you doing here?"

Akpors smiled and said,

"AM D0ING MY I.T"

I.T NONI !!!

A young police officer was taking his final exam at Police College in kano.

Here is one of the questions:

"You are on patrol in the outskirts of kano when an explosion occurs in the township.

On investigation you find a large crater has been blown in the footpath and there is an overturned van lying nearby.

Inside the van there is a strong smell of alcohol. Both occupants, a man and woman are injured.

You recognize the woman as the wife of your Divisional Officer, who is at present away on a Peace Making Mission In Sudan.

A passing motorist stops to offer you assistance and you realize that he is a man who is wanted for armed robbery.

Suddenly a man runs out of a nearby house, shouting that his wife is expecting a baby and that the shock of the explosion has made the birth imminent.

Another man is crying for help, having been blown into an adjacent Canal by the explosion, and he cannot swim."

"Describe in a few words what action you would take?"

The officer thought for a moment, picked up his pen, and wrote:

"I would take off my uniform and mingle with the crowd! Na me una wan turn to mad man"....Hehehehehehe

AKPORS wanted 2 fly from Abuja to Lagos, but he was scared of our local flights, coupled with the recent Dana air crash.

So, he bought a ticket to London, then from London to Lagos.

Mr. Azu and his friend Oko, were arguing about their sons. Mr. Azu argued that his son was more stupid than Oko's son.

Oko however disagreed so, they decided to put their sons to test.

Mr. Azu called his son and asked that he buys him a box of matches from the market.

The boy left without even asking for money.

Mr. Azu said, "you see how stupid he is, he didn't even ask for money".

Oko retorted, "is this what you call foolishness?, just wait and see."

Oko calls his son and said to him, "Go home and check if I am in the house."

Oko's son took to his heels and came back panting:

"Papa, you no dey house. Mama say you dey your friend place

A pastor was praying for a man possessed with demon.

He said; ln The name of Jesus, what do you want from this man? Speak up, before I cast you out this moment!

The demon answered; i want him to win The America Lotto Draw worth $200billion tonight.

The pastor lowers the microphone and whispered; "In Jesus name, get out of him and enter into me

JOKES GRADING: A+


REMARKS: YOU ARE JUST TOO TALENTED, AM PROUD OF YOU



REWARDS: THREE CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS WITH MUKINA WITHOUT CONDOM ;

JOKES GRADING: A+

REMARKS:YOU ARE A TRUE PROJANER


REWARD:YOU ARE THE NEW FINANCIAL MANAGER OF PROJAN

Nice one OP

bunmioguns: JOKES GRADING: A+


REMARKS: YOU ARE JUST TOO TALENTED, AM PROUD OF YOU



REWARDS: THREE CONSECUTIVE NIGHTS WITH MUKINA WITHOUT CONDOM ;

hahahahahahah, mah oga, i learnt 4rm u

bin gbagbo: JOKES GRADING: A+

REMARKS:YOU ARE A TRUE PROJANER


REWARD:YOU ARE THE NEW FINANCIAL MANAGER OF PROJAN

lol, fanx man, its an honor

larride: Nice one OP

fanx much

bin gbagbo: JOKES GRADING: A+

REMARKS:YOU ARE A TRUE PROJANER


REWARD:YOU ARE THE NEW FINANCIAL MANAGER OF PROJAN

Una money don enter one chance

what took you so long to bring refreshment into this section , bunmioguns n bin had run outta ideas and turning this place into trash

ITbomb: what took you so long to bring refreshment into this section , bunmioguns n bin had run outta ideas and turning this place into trash

another lunatic from the suidae family has arrived again

bunmioguns:



another lunatic from the suidae family has arrived again

Watch your mouth .
I am from the Royal House of Itinabo , sole survivor of the portuguese invasion , slayer of lions and conquerer of the seven tribes.
Don't let me call the spirits on you

ITbomb:
Watch your mouth .
I am from the Royal House of Itinabo , sole survivor of the portuguese invasion , slayer of lions and conquerer of the seven tribes.
Don't let me call the spirits on you

dey deceive yaself.... otondo

u need to switch over to the real guys, that is the npjc.
u are kinda good man.
nice one right there.
keep it up.

ode remo: u need to switch over to the real guys, that is the npjc.
u are kinda good man.
nice one right there.
keep it up.

see another otondo . . .which one be JJC

ode remo: u need to switch over to the real guys, that is the npjc.
u are kinda good man.
nice one right there.
keep it up.

fanx alot bro

bunmi, u no go kill me with laff, which kind pix be dat

U try well well.

As de power vested on me as Bin gbagbo Public toilet manager. u re awarded three days of using de toilet free.(but dont mess it up o o)

Jojo Armani: U try well well.

As de power vested on me as Bin gbagbo Public toilet manager. u re awarded three days of using de toilet free.(but dont mess it up o o)

heheheheheheheheh, fank u sir

dopeJemi: heheheheheheheheh, fank u sir

u re welcome. And again pls mind how u laugh if u re in de toilet to avoid fartin unnecesary inside de toilet cos is not part de promo u won. If u do, I have automatic Fart detector machine. So respect ur self